Having a Rough Week

Updated on February 08, 2017
N.B. asks from Oklahoma City, OK
27 answers

I have friends, I really do, but each of them has their own ideals and opinions and just butt in and won't listen and let me rant or talk or cry or say what's on my mind in the deepest part. One is a gossip that I can't trust to not talk to other friends and the other is a know it all mom that has perfect children that don't ever make a mistake.

I have no one to talk to. I have friends, real life friends, that are also on here so I can't even talk about what's going on here. Well, one does know a small glimmer, I asked her to put a name on the temple prayer list in her home town.

I just need some prayer and someone to send good thoughts my way. Life is in an upheaval since Wednesday evening.and I don't think our life will ever be the same. I'm so very very sad and upset and hurt and angry and sad and afraid and depressed and terrified and want to scream at the top of my lungs. But I can't. Really, the consequences of that would destroy someone that I want to protect at all costs.

I know I'm being vague and elusive but I really have no one to talk to and I can't talk here either.

Just please keep me and my family in your prayers or thoughts.

Thank you.

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone. I have been sitting and crying all day. It's a release to some degree but I have a hard couple of weeks ahead if not months.

It's not my husband this time. His health is still declining though. He hurt his shoulder and needs surgery but the heart transplant team says he can't have surgery at this time. It's too risky.

I've called a couple of other friends, one is also a grandparent raising grandchildren and has been through similar issues with one of her grand kids. I had to leave a message.

The other that I called is one that is also on here. She didn't answer her phone either.

I have to see things through this weekend to find out what the plan is. Then perhaps I can share.

Featured Answers

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J.C.

answers from New York on

You can PM me if you need to get it all out. So sorry to hear that you are going through a bad time.

3 moms found this helpful

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

So sorry that you are having to walk through this. :(

Remember, you are not alone. You are making good choices about a hard situation. Guarding someone's privacy is never a bad thing. I'm very sorry you have to sit with this... I've been in that situation before, sitting with the unknown and accepting that I might be powerless, no matter what I want to do. It's a hard place and can be very lonely.

If you can talk to a counselor, or a crisis line (as others have mentioned), please consider doing so, just to get the burden out and spoken of. Sometimes it really helps just to speak it out loud. And to let yourself grieve... we all have our hopes for the people we love and when things take a different turn, it can feel pretty devastating.

I will keep you in mind today and light a candle for you. Sending thoughts of peace... I know you are a woman of faith. Please lean into that if you can. You are loved and worthy.

9 moms found this helpful

T.D.

answers from Springfield on

i often write letters to myself. and then destroy them. it helps to get the words out then since i don't want anyone knowing about it or don't trust anyone with my rantings i destroy it all.

7 moms found this helpful

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Gamma,

These aren't your friends if you can't talk with them and you don't trust them.

I'll be more than happy to say prayers for you. You want to down load? Send me a message. I'll be happy to listen to you rant!!

6 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I know what it's like to keep the hurt inside in order to remain loyal, protective and strong and am sending hugs and prayers. Just some ideas for someone to talk to......

Conversations with your doctor or nurse practitioner would remain private.

You could talk with a pastor/priest, etc. If you don't want to talk with clergy at your church, go to a different one. They will not turn you away.

Private message some trusted friends on this site.

Crisis hotlines.

And of course, a therapist would be of great help.

Good luck with your struggle.

6 moms found this helpful

E.J.

answers from Chicago on

So sorry you are going through something so difficult.

Is it possible you can pm the people on this board that you are close with so that you can get support privately?

Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

5 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

A huge cyber hug to you. You have been there for many of us and now it is time for us to be there for you. Think of who you know on here that would let you vent without judgment and go from there.

I just had a friend of mine whose husband has been in hospital for the last three weeks at times critical that will call and vent. I then ask her if she feels better and she says she does. Or get a pen and pad and write down how you feel about the issue and put it in writing and then burn of store the book for future rants. I did this with a spouses' group so that I did not offend anyone that I needed to work with during my term as president.

If additional help is needed please seek it.

A huge hug.

the other S.

5 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from New York on

Just had the time to see your post. I'll keep you in my prayers. Sending you my love and prayers.

If you don't know anything else, know that trouble doesn't last always. Be encouraged, cry when you need to cry, scream when you need to and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward. Others have been where you are and made it through. You can make it through too.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.S.

answers from Chicago on

So sorry you are experiencing this. Sounds like you are in a very painful, frightening and lonely place. Given the snippet you wrote, seems to me like a friend isn't necessarily what you need...but instead a good therapist who can listen and support you unconditionally, without judgment, during this time. I realize people have all sorts of thoughts and opinions about seeking outside support, not to mention cost is often an issue, but the right therapist ---even short-term---can really, really make a difference. You wrote you don't think your life will ever be the same, and that you are sad, upset, hurt, angry, afraid and depressed. You can stuff all those feelings and suffer...or talk to someone who can help you hold all those feelings and work through them.

Sending positive thoughts for hope and healing. Hang in there.

4 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I'm sorry things are not going well for you right now. I'm laying in bed now, 1230am wide awake with my head spinning. Some days are just like this.

Hang in there... I'm sending my good wishes and vibes your way!!

4 moms found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Boston on

Gamma, thank you for reaching out and letting us be with you during this difficult time. You are being prayed for. All my best.

4 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from Boston on

I'm sorry you are in this situation. You have so much already on your plate. Please find someone to reach out to so that you can put some order to your thoughts to figure out what's best. Maybe your pastor is you are a church going person of a therapist if you can find one. Some companies have employee assistance programs that can set you up with a limited amount of sessions to work through issues.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from Dayton on

Sending you a hug right now and praying that the feelings you have now are somewhat eased by knowing there are people here who are willing to listen and offer advice that may help.

I agree with the suggestion already given, is there anyone here you feel you can private message?

Sending good thoughts your way.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

So sorry. Hoping today is a little easier. Sending good thoughts your way

3 moms found this helpful
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L.H.

answers from Abilene on

I am so sorry you are hurting and feel you have nowhere to turn. Can you speak to a crises help line? Please hang in there. No matter how dark things are, the sun is always present, even when we can't see it.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.6.

answers from New York on

Prayers for you and your family. God knows your troubles. Stay strong.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I'm so sorry you are having difficulties.
Friends do tend to have their own opinions - but these friends you describe sound very one sided - they can be their gossipy know-it-all selves with you - but YOU can't be YOU with them.
So - they can't really 'be there' for you.
I'm not sure what you're going through but maybe if you can find a support group in your area then you can talk with people who can relate to your current crisis and will be able to let you vent your fears and frustrations without your situation becoming the fodder for the town gossips.
What ever it is - I hope it subsides sooner than later and you find relief from the stress and anguish.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

sending you a virtual hug!

2 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Honolulu on

Will be thinking of you, and hoping that you will find the strength that you need.

2 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

I'm sorry to read this, Gamma.

I hope you will feel better in a few days. When you do, can you consider talking to your pastor about the things that bother you? Instead of ranting or unloading on your friends, talk to someone whose job it is to counsel people.

It could be that your friends aren't able to support someone else's sadness.

Sending you hugs...

2 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Sending prayers your way that you feel peace in the midst of all the pain and confusion!

2 moms found this helpful
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N.K.

answers from Miami on

Ugh, I hate that. I have a few co-workers who love to tell me everything about themselves, will ask me something about me, such as "how was your weekend?", and I barely get two words in before the conversation is steered back to them. Not everyone makes for a good listener, I guess, and at times, we do need someone to vent to, who will listen -- certainly not a gossip, though!! I will be sending you good, positive thoughts and know you will get through this.

I thought the responses from other moms offering you an ear and a shoulder were so very lovely and kind, and I hope you take them up on their offer. As well as doing that, I would try to surround myself with peaceful things, go to a place you love and brings you comfort -- a meditation garden, a beach, a park...pamper yourself, listen to some relaxing music, light some candles, and don't be afraid to cry and let it out. Make sure to communicate and seek comfort with your husband too, as I know that it is crucial to know your spouse is here for support and a lot of times, failing to communicate during a trying incident is what destroys marriages and causes resentments and tensions.

Another suggestion: when no one wants to listen, I write in a journal. I bought myself a plain notebook at the grocery store a few years ago when I was going through the painful, sudden loss of a good friend and my friend, who is emotionally unavailable, did not care to hear it. I felt like I was burdening my friend, who said I was depressing, and at that point, I decided I needed someone to share my darkest thoughts with and since my family was not very understanding either, I would write my feelings, like I would in a journal entry, in that notebook. It helped a lot, so I can relate to what tadpole said. At the end, you can decide whether you want to keep the notebook or destroy it. I am sorry you're going through this and feel alone through it. I am wishing you peace in the upcoming days and hope everyone's suggestions will be of benefit to you *hugs*.

2 moms found this helpful
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R..

answers from San Antonio on

Sending you a great big hug!!

Praying for you.

1 mom found this helpful

R.A.

answers from Boston on

Prayers sent.. I sometimes throw things, and scream in a pillow. You need an outlet.. don't keep all that pent- up stuff inside long it can suffocate you.

Let us know how things go.

Thoughts of love and light
-R

1 mom found this helpful
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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I will keep you in my prayers and will definitely send good thoughts your way. Wishing you and your family the best. Hoping taking things one day at a time will at least help you look no further than a 24 hour period. Hoping things let up soon. Best wishes and so sorry you are going through this tough time.

Updated

I will keep you in my prayers and will definitely send good thoughts your way. Wishing you and your family the best. Hoping taking things one day at a time will at least help you look no further than a 24 hour period. Hoping things let up soon. Best wishes and so sorry you are going through this tough time.

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I am so sorry things are so rough for you right now. I am sending you a hug and I'm sending good thoughts your way. You will get through this. You WILL! I am so sorry you have no one to talk to...it's really hard to find friends you truly click with and can talk about anything with. I hope that you can find that truly good friend soon. Remember, change happens in life...it is inevitable. Things never stay the same. You will get through this and come out stronger.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Sending good thoughts your way.

1 mom found this helpful
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