Has Anyone Recently Experienced a Miscarriage and Trying to Get Pregnant Again?

Updated on March 10, 2008
J.H. asks from Watkinsville, GA
39 answers

I had a miscarriage about 6 months ago. We have been trying to get pregnant ever since and it hasn't happened yet. Is anyone else going through this right now? I am not frustrated but I am anxious. The baby I lost would be born next month and as March approaches I do feel a sense of loss and sadness.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your encouragement! It always helps to know you are not alone!

Featured Answers

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K.B.

answers from Albany on

I had a stillborn baby in Oct. 2006, and we have been trying since Jan. 2007 and it still hasn't happened. I am very anxious and wondering if it will ever happen again.

29 year old mother with one son- K. B.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.D.

answers from Columbia on

I had 3 miscarriages. They were a year apart. I was anxious also. I just had to tell my self that it will happened when it happens. Everytime my due date came I was depressed. Thanks to my family I got by. Just keep in mind that you can have a baby,it will just take time. Do not think about it. It will happen. It will just take time.

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C.M.

answers from Columbia on

Dear J.,

My name is C. but you can call me Cassy. I have experienced that same heartache. Before I had my daughter my husband and I were preganant with twins and lost them. He wanted to start right back to trying while I had mixed feelings. But I soon recovered emotionally and we started trying. It took us 8 months before we conceived again. It isn't abnormal for it to take up to a year to conceive for a couple without fertility problems. My husband and I do have fertility problems so I found some comfort in this. So give it some time ok? Also, the harder we tried the more it seemed to not happen. My doctor told me the best advise.......relax! Have fun and enjoy each other and boom it happened : ) Hang in there.

Sincerely
Cassy

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C.S.

answers from Charleston on

Hello J.,

I am a mother of two boys and own MoM Spa, Charleston's only day spa for women only. I am also the only one doing Fertility Massage in this area and have a lot of experience with women who have miscarried.

Please know that miscarriage is very common and happens most often for absolutely no reason. With that said, I realize it doesn't make your pain lesson.

I do know however that with any experience we all face in life, both good and bad, the body stores 'memories'. Most of these can be found with working through trigger points via neuromuscular work. This is basically moving the fascia (connective tissue) in between the muscle bundles. Once we break up the tension, it not only usually increases our range of motion but it also 'frees' us from what we subconsicouly choose to carry.

Within Fertility Massage, I find many women also store points in their abdominal or pelvic area (I work over the sheet here). Through deep focal breathing and suggestions for intention, we can find the source of blockage. I am only there to support the client. She actually does the work. Together we incorporate, castor oil hot packs, cranial sacral, reflexology, abdominal massage, jaw release, chakra opening of the scalp, hip rocking and more. It is deep, specific and very powerful, often emotional, in a good way.

If you would like to learn more about what I do, please feel free to call us: ###-###-#### or visit: www.themomspa.com.

I hope this gives you just one more natural option for your future successful and beautiful conception.

Blessings,

C. Schachte

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi J.,
I had a miscarriage first and then later had three happy healthy extremely lively and mischievious children. I know its hard when a miscarriage occurs before you have children. You did not mention your age in your e-mail, but I am an older Mom and needed some help getting pregnant. But it did happen! My husband and I saw a specialist and he helped us with our fertility issues. If you are older you might consider being proactive about it and see a specialist. You might want to discuss it with your OBGYN.

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A.C.

answers from Macon on

I am going through the same thing. I miscarried in October 2007 on my first pregnancy at 12 weeks. My doctor told us to wait 3 months before trying again, so we did and have now experienced our first month of failure. Honestly, getting my period after that first month of trying was just about as emotionally painful as the miscarriage itself. I have a very hard time seeing babies and pregnant women. I did find a great website (www.pregnancyloss.info) with more complete information than I had found anywhere else. I know in my mind that I will get pregnant again and have a child, but my heart is hurting quite a bit lately.

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T.C.

answers from Spartanburg on

This has not happened to me personally-but it did to my SIL. It takes your body a while to recovery from a miscarriage. Some poeple longer then others. My SIL lost a baby in Feb, and did not concieve again until @ 9 months later.

She now has a five year old ( conceived after her miscarriage) as well as a set of two year old twins!!

I wish you the best in Motherhood.

-T.

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C.H.

answers from Augusta on

Have you talked to your doctor or been evaluated after te misscarriage? I've never had one but I can only imagine how heartbreaking it is to know you once had a baby growing in you that you never got to meet.I feel for you and I hope you are someday able to let go of the pain and move on.I have heard that too many misscarriages can cause conception problems, is this your first mis.?Like another poster stated, it does take your body a little while to recover enough for you to be fertile and ready to concieve again.You body WAS preparing for a baby and then it had to go through the process of cleaning itself back out in a sense to recover from the loss.Your emotions also plays a part, if your stressing to much over it, it may take longer.I say go to an acup. like PP suggested and do things that are relaxing like yoga. And it's ok to check every month, women are obsessive like that.But don't keep beating yourself up.It will happen again I'm sure.

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T.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi J.,

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through. It is very hard to get over a loss like yours and I don't think you truly ever get over it completely. I too had lost my baby girl almost 7 months ago, so I can relate with what you are going through right now. I too wish to get pregnant again.

Do you know anything about your fertility signs? There is a very good book that may help you with getting pregnant called "Your Fertility Signals" by Merryl Winstein. Another thing that would be good for when you do get pregnant is to take progesterone and there are alot of foods that contain this to help you maintain the pregnancy. Talk to your doctor about it. I know there is natural creams you can use now that will help. I got mine from my chiropractor. Check it out on the internet. There is tons of info about this.

Best of luck to you.

T.

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R.M.

answers from Spartanburg on

Hi J.,

Although it wasn't recently, I also had a miscarriage. What got me through it was knowing that there must have been something wrong with the baby for the body to miscarry it. My doctor told me it would take at least 6 months for me to get pregnant again but I was pregnant the very next month. When your body is ready it will happen. I look at my second daughter now and think wow, if I hadn't had a miscarriage I wouldn't have her!

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J.A.

answers from Atlanta on

Just relax, J.. It wasn't time yet. The baby knows best and will come in when everything is right. Feels like about 3 more months. I do energy work called InnerSpeak, which can lift away any emotional blocks, etc which are keeping this from happening for y'all. For Mamasource, I discount my regular price for a session to $75. You can find more about what I do on my website at jeanadrienne.com. I have assisted many women in getting pregnant!
Love and Light!
J. A.

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A.

answers from Atlanta on

I had a miscarriage, and the doctor informed me to wait 3 or 4 months from the time I had the miscarriage. I then got pregnant with my first child 10 months after I had my miscarriage. So, it will happen but you have to try and not stress about it as much as possible. The one month you just don't even think about it will be the month it happens :) Let me know if there anything else I can do for ya :)

A.

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S.W.

answers from Macon on

Hello J., I know what you are going through. I had two miscarriages. I had to have a minor surgery because I had some scar tissues. After the surgery my doctor told me that I could try soon as possible but I decided to wait a year before I tried again. I am proud to say that I have a handsome 2 year old son. Don't give up and trust in the lord....he will make it happen. I will be praying for you all. I had a lot of people praying for my husband and I during my whole pregancy. Good luck!!!

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B.B.

answers from Charleston on

Hi J., I have not recently experienced a miscarriage, but over the past 6 years I have had 2 miscarriages and delivered a stillborn at 27 weeks. The best advice I can give you is to love your husband and let nature take its course. At the age of 22 I was told that I may not be able to carry children due to a chromosome abnormality. Knowing that I wanted children I was crushed, but my husband kept me strong and said we would try as many times as we had to and eventually we had our son. I don't know if you are a woman of faith, but God does everything in his time. As for the loss you are feeling with the upcoming month it will get better, but remember getting pregnant again will not make the pain go away. I have had 2 girls since I lost my first girl at 27 weeks and I still miss her every day and after 3 and a half years I still cry when I need to. As for you not being a mom yet, the day you found out you were pregnant you become a mom, you are just blessed with an angel as your baby.

C.H.

answers from Atlanta on

First, I am sorry about your loss. I also had a miscarriage and it is such a loss. The way I chose to look at it was as a miracle. Amazing that my body could know that something was not proceeding right and took care of it. What a blessing really!

I am not sure why your body is not cooperating with you in your desire to get pregnant, but here are a couple suggestions.

One is to really reduce stress.... this includes your thoughts around getting pregnant. Let go... when we finally decided taht we just may not have children and that it would be OK, we goot pregnant almost right away.

We also did a simple detoxification, I really think that helped us (both the male and female should detox).

The last suggestion is to talk to one of the Arbonne reps on this site. There is a product called Prolife. It is a progestron cream that helps to balance your hormones. I would consult with you gyno, but also find one that supports natural alternatives. There are some somple tests they can run (I believe) that will help determine if you hormones are not balanced. This can have a MAJOR effect and the cream is realatively inexpensive.

Best advice I read from the other ladies- relax and enjoy the process.... have fun and enjoy your husband alone while you can!!!!

C. Hiebel
www.candlewealth.com/soy4u

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P.P.

answers from Atlanta on

Dear J. H.

I have a friend who just miscarriaged about four months ago and just last week announced that she was expecting again. So please do not let despair set into your thoughts. I do not know if you have a relationship with Our Savior Jesus but just lean on Him and He will comfort and guide you and your husband. This is a hard time for you but just know that Jesus loves you and He knows you are hurting and HE will comfort you and keep you and he will listen when you pray. I hope this helps you. May you be Blessed and Comforted by Our Lord and Savior Jesus.

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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

This is SO COMMON, so know that you are never alone in this. I got pregnant quickly with 2 pregnancies and was devastated when the second was a miscarriage and then on top of that took month after month of dissappointment in no baby. It finally happened almost a year later. Just don't get to wrapped up in it all unless it has been a year then seek further medical advice. (Easier said than done I know)

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B.T.

answers from Spartanburg on

Hi J.,
I am a grandmother whose son and daughter-in-law had a preemie at 24 weeks and enjoyed him-even tiny as he was-for 2 weeks before he went to be with God. He was also due in March and we lost him in November. Yes we feel that sadness as his due date approaches. They will begin trying again in May to get pregnant and I pray that they will be able to have a normal pregnancy. I know that if you put your faith and trust in God, it will happen for you also. Keep the faith and God will reward you.
Please keep in touch.
mema

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B.R.

answers from Atlanta on

I had a miscarriage two years ago and now I am 7 months pregnant. I know it is hard not to think about "what if" but when you do that you you put more stress on your body then needed. So, try to relax and let life take its course.

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D.H.

answers from Charleston on

Hi J.!
I had a D&C (nurses called it a "dusting & cleaning") on January 11, 2005 because I had a placenta but no fetus. I'll never forget the day I lost my first pregnancy and think about it every year since. However, I did get pregnant about 6-7 months later and now have a beautiful 23 month old daughter. Be patient and everything will fall into place for you. It took me about 2 months to truly get over the loss and move on. I kept telling myself that everything happens for a reason...good luck!!

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A.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi J., I'm not going through this right now, but I had a miscarriage before my first daughter was born. It was very hard to see other pregnant women and babies. It felt to me that after the due date past that I could move forward. It took us a year to get pregnant after that and I got sad every month my period showed up. I even had to go back on the pill to regulate my period. After it all we had a baby girl and she is wonderful! I think it really taught us to appreciate the special gift. While my friends were complaining about being sick I was thrilled because it meant the baby was still okay.

Then when we started talking about number two we ended up pregnant before we even started trying (much to my husbands dismay). I wish you all the best through this difficult time.

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M.G.

answers from Athens on

Hi J., I know you've had a lot of responses, but just wanted to share my experience as well. I had an early miscarriage on September of last year. I was told by my doctor to wait a month before trying again. We started trying again in November, and it hasn't happened yet, we are still trying. I already have 2 very healthy boys, so I never thought it would take me this long to get pregnant again (I got pregnant very quickly with the other 2). I've been obsessing a lot about it, so I just decided to stop worrying about it and that it will happen when it happens. I know it's hard, but I think being stressed about it is not going to help. Anyway, good luck, and I'm sure you'll get pregnant again when it's the right time.

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G.O.

answers from Spartanburg on

The same thing happened to me. I miscarried last March. I was due last October and that date came and went, and I was still not pregnant. Sometimes it just takes your body a long time to get things settled back to "normal" again. I finally got pregnant in November and things are going well this time around. Don't give up. There's an interesting website, www.fertilityfriend.com, which helps with charting and figuring out what's going on. I hope you have success soon!

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W.J.

answers from Spartanburg on

I am a midwife and I have experienced miscarriages myself so I understand the anxiety you feel. But you need to let your body heal and you need your time to grieve for the lost child. It takes about 6 months for your body to fully recover from a miscarriage although some experts disagree. But in my practice I have found this to be true. It also takes this much time for your heart to heal from the loss. Make sure you are taking prenatal vitamins if you are planning a pregnancy, get plenty of rest and try to reduce your anxiety level as much as possible. The harder you try the harder it is to conceive. Relax and let nature takes its course.

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D.B.

answers from Sumter on

Well my miscarriages were not recent but might give you hope. I had 4 miscarriages before I had my first child. 2 I had about 6 wks in, the next at 10 wks and one at almost 4 months. Each one was devastating. My husband and I both dealt with loss in different ways...I sat in the room depressed and wanted him there grieving with me and he didn't want to show he was upset so he avoided me and stayed at work all the time (he later told me that it upset him to see me because it reminded him of the baby we lost). The lack of communication almost cost us our marriage. (We were also young 18-19). So that would be the first mistake I would say not to make, the next was it seemed that the more stressed, and depressed I got the less my body seemed to want to get pregnant. So try to keep the mood light, and keep sex fun, not, "oh come on it's time again". For me, when my husband and I decided that we were going to split up because we couldn't take all the saddness togather and were suppose to be moving at the end of the month I found out I was pregnant again, this time I didn't get excited, or worry, or even acknowledge the pregnancy (I was afraid to be hurt again) but finally I went to the dr when I was almost 3 months and all was going well. I feel like the lack of stress may have saved my baby....and inturn my marriage. (my husband and I have been married for over 8 years and together for almost 14 years and we are only 27 (almost 28)! I now have 3 beautiful children! So don't give up and try not to stress. Good luck. And if you would like PM me so we can talk.

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J.V.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi J.-

I do know exactly what you are going through. My husband and I have a beautiful 2-year old but have had to deal with the experiences of 3 miscarriages over the past year. Each is difficult and sad as are the pending birthdates. Everything that you are feeling is normal and part of the healing process. The good news is that the chances of you having a normal healthy pregnancy is extremely high. Even after my 3 and all the tests that they have run, my chances are wonderful. Please try to stay positive and not stress about it. It will happen when it is supposed to and you will be blessed with a beautiful baby. I don't think there is anything anyone can say to make it better or to make you understand it all but to know that other people do understand what you are feeling and thinking does make it a bit better. I wish you all the best with your future family.

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B.B.

answers from Augusta on

I have never miscarried because I was never able to conceive in the first place. You're so lucky because you know that conception is at least possible. My advice depends on your age: If you're still fairly young, give it some time. Most likely you just need to give your body time to heal. If you're not a "spring chicken", consider seeing a fertility specialist so you don't end up wasting precious time.

Remember that there is always adoption. My beautiful 17 month-old son is a gift from God...and his birth mother. I couldn't possibly love him any more than if I had conceived him myself.

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R.J.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi J.,

I feel your pain because I went through it in Nov. of 2007. I have stress so much because I want it to happen that my hormones went unbalance. In Dec.2007 I went to the hopsital because I was going through all the symtoms of being pregnant.It was bad and strong feelings. so the doctor at ER told me your hormones are unbalance so I did some research on the internet and realize that I need more progesterone in order to conceive and hold a baby.So I started taking hormone pills and progesterone cream. I bought it all from the health store(Vitamin Shop).My advice to you is do not stress you can make it worse.If you think you need to build back up your progesterone seek a doctor advice.They are different ways to build it back up.They are pills,shots,cream and etc.

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J.A.

answers from Macon on

I have had a miscarriage 7 yrs. ago. So it isn't recent but it is still fresh. I can only tell you to stop trying it will happen when your not even thanking about it. I am going to have my second child in may. My son is 4 and is very happy about being a big brother. I was not trying to get pregnant with him or this one but it happened and it is a blessing. when I lost my first one I did try to get pregnant again but it didn't happen. Until 2003 I had my son. If you stop trying it will happen. I promise..

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B.J.

answers from Savannah on

J., you have to let your body heal from the miscarriage. Sometimes that can take up to a year. I know this because I kept having miscarriages when I was first trying to become a Mom. It took three tries and three years before I actually became a Mom. But don't give up. My granny told me that God would let me become a Mommy when the time was right. I guess she knew what she was talking about because I have three children now. Hope things work out for you.

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A.D.

answers from Atlanta on

Hello J.,
I haven't experienced a miscarriage but I do know you can go to Acupuncture and it will help you. Where I go to Acupuncture the Dr has helped several people to get pregnate and have healthy pregnancies. So that maybe something you might want to look into. I hope this helps.
I hope you have an awsome day and a blessed week and weekend.
Takecare,

A.

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A.H.

answers from Columbus on

I personaly have not but two of my close friends have. Their doctors have told them if they did not get pregnant within 6 months to stop trying for 3-4 months. They said the worry and anxiety will cause your body to make it impossible to concieve. However, it should give you encouragement that on of my friends is due any day now, and the other one found out she is pregnant about 6 weeks along. HORMONES HORMONES HORMONES.. It is all about hormones. Just know that when you do conceive you will be nervous it is COMPLETLY NORMAL!!! I don't know how far along you were but my friend that is due anyday lost her little boy at 5 months and the other friend that just found out she is expecting lost hers at 6 1/2 months due to the placenta tearing. Good Luck and just take this time to bond closer with your husband.

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C.M.

answers from Spartanburg on

Hi J.,

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I've had two miscarriages. It does get easier, but I'll always feel that a part of my family is missing. After the 1st miscarriage, it took several months for me to get pregnant again. I've read that ovulation can be much more unpredictable than most of us think. When I started to get nervous, I tried one of those ovulation test kits. This worked very well for me--the first month I used it, actually. My son just turned 5.

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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Have faith J. and I hate saying this, but relax. We had a miscarriage and got pregnant soon after. The minute I stopped worrying, so to speak. So relax, and if you're a spirtual lady and get tense, pray give it to God. And do something wonderful for yourself like plant a rose bush or something in the garden!

Good luck - no worries!

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T.H.

answers from Columbia on

I have had 2 miscarriages. It took us a year to get pregnant after the first and a year and 9 months to get pregnant with our 2nd. It was very diffiult emotionally --especially around thelost babies due dates. The only advice I can give is try not to be anxious, and I know its extemely hard. My doctor told us the more anxiety you have can inhibit your chances and make it harder to get pregnant. I wish you and your family much luck in the future and a safe and healthy baby!

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C.B.

answers from Atlanta on

My husband & I lost our second baby last summer at 8 1/2 weeks into the pregnancy. We were able to find out through testing that the baby (a boy) had Trisomy 15, which is almost always fatal by the 12th week of pregnancy. While I still have my moments of sadness (espcially this month because it was my due date) I know that God has a plan for us to have more children and I have to put my trust in Him. Remember that your plan may not always coincide with God's plan for your life. My best advice for you is daily prayer and you will find peace and comfort in the Lord. "Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
Take care & God bless...

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R.N.

answers from Atlanta on

I am a mom to a beautiful little 2 1/2 yr old girl and experienced a miscarriage last August. My husband and I conceived thanks to a fertility clinic the first time and miraculously on our own the second pregnancy. We are trying again and are ever so hopeful for success. Sometimes nature seems cruel but it does know best and God has a hand in everything.

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D.P.

answers from Atlanta on

Have you talked to your Gyn or Ob/gyn? There is the possibility that your body can't do pregnancy. But, the much more likely thing is this: the miscarriage was very emotionally hard but is not uncommon in first pregnancies. It very well could be that it wasn't a viable pregnancy. The experience, while difficult, tells you that you can get pregnant and that should make you feel GREAT! I know it's frustrating -- but it'll happen!

A good trick is to know when to time your most likely time to conceive. Check out www.yourdays.com -- it's a website that will help you to time when you're ovulating and can even help you plan for a girl or boy if you want.

(One more thing: when we were trying for my daughter, I was crushed every time I got my period. Come September of 2002, I said, "Let's take a break from trying because I don't want to be big and pregnant in the heat of the summer!" As soon as the pressure was off, I got pregnant. Beautiful, healthy baby girl in June of 2003.)

Good luck!

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H.B.

answers from Atlanta on

J. I am a mom of three girl's,I had many miscarriage's and it was very hurtful.You need to let your body heel,get your mind on somthing else like a hobbie and then it will happen again for you.

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