Has Anyone Made a Very Big Move and What Were Your Experiences Good or Bad?

Updated on May 05, 2012
L.M. asks from Hicksville, NY
15 answers

I am just curious if anyone decided to move across the country or to another state and what you experienced good or bad. Also why did you do it? Was it a job offer or a family member moving or did you decide to move first and then find a job in the new location.

I don't know that we are moving. But I may want to one day. I don't know. We're very settled here. Very happy in many ways. But there's this part of me that says I should move...I have lived in this general area all of my life. Why not do something different. But our home is upside down (we owe more than it's worth) and hubby has a good job here. And we have nice friends and neighbors. And the schools are good....plus my parents are 15 minutes away and in laws 2 1/2 hours away.

But still this nagging feeling doesn't quite go away.

What do you think? Anyone else have their own story to share? Or advice? Thanks!

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I moved 4 times in the same state, in 2 years. I dont recommend that. Due to lease issues, work, and family. Then some friends from out of country asked me to move them to New Jersey from MN. That was a cluster ... humpf. It was not cool. The company doing the moving messed up so much stuff. It was no fun. Then after than wonderful experience we moved for all of 5 months to Denver and then back again. I think we are sticking it out here, but I know my husband wants to move to India in a few years. I am dragging my feet like big time. I don't like moving. Its messy, dirty, tiring, and back breaking. Now that I have 3 kids its just not what i want to do anymore.

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E.V.

answers from Phoenix on

I move to US and I am happy we do. Life is an adventure. Life is full of surprises, so just jump into the pool. Be spontaneous.
I miss my family a lot. I can't go home for the next 4 years, because tickets are expensive for us. However, life in the new place and culture has its own challenge. It is fun.
Now I learn how to be independent, usually I cling to my mom a lot! I learn new culture, new food, new friends, new children. Yes, I do meet annoying friends, get bored, miss my mom's cooks, hates everything, get sick and wish I was home cuddling with my mom.
However, thats the spices of life. Perfect life is boring. Do it now or never. Don't regret it later. Who knows in the new place, you have more friends and more knowledge. Your family will see the wiser and new you.
Don't be like the bird in the cage. When there's a chance to fly out of the cage, life is more than just a small cage. After America, me and hubby plan to go to Europe as students again. Will be nice.

Ps:I love how cheap MCDonald here, it is very expensive in my country! Subway is great. And I love olive, it taste great. I also meet some new American friends who teach me to do craft, easter egg coloring( this is my 1st), some Indian women who teach me to dance. So many opportunities to volunteer, too.

4 moms found this helpful

C.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

Hi L.-

I recommend travel...out of state...out of country (if in your budget) to relieve your 'wanderlust'.

Even little mini vacations closer to home.

I was an army brat...moved all over the country and world...

I was an army spouse...moved some then as well...

I am now a single mom...and have moved since the divorce.

If you do not HAVE to move (and it sounds like you don't)

And if you are 'comfy' where you are...(and it sounds as if you are...)

Take a vacation somewhere!!

I loved moving...based on my dad's (and then my now ex's job)...and always made where 'we' were home...

But...in your situation...I would merely travel for fun...ENJOY...and then feel good about coming home again...

Best Luck!
Michele/cat

3 moms found this helpful

B.M.

answers from Pocatello on

Don't Move!!! LOL I have moved a lot in my married life. My hubby is in the army and although we've never moved to a different country it's really hard! We've gone from Idaho to Utah, back to Idaho then to Oklahoma, back to Idaho and now we live in Utah again but a different part of Utah than the first time. Moving is super stressful and it's really hard to keep starting over again. This time around I keep saying how sick I am of trying to make new friends. I mean think about it, you move to a new place where you know no one. You have no one to hang out with your kids have no friends etc. And don't get me wrong you do end up meeting people and making friends but it's work. Friendships happen overtime. I have only lived in my new house for 6 months and I've made a few friends but there still isn't that history. You know what I mean? All these girls have their friends and all their history together, inside jokes etc. I'm the old man out. And no family is hard. No one to spend holidays with or just go hang out with. So yeah it's not that fun to start over. I mean yes it can be exciting and maybe if I would have only done it once I would have thought it was fun but now it's just a pain. I hate it.

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J.M.

answers from Madison on

Hello,
I moved from one state to another which was very far. I think I was restless I am really not sure why I wanted to move. Well we did my husband got a great job here. I love the weather but after a while you will get very home sick. You need to be always around your family that's the key. I have no family but I really miss my friends and it's to far to go and see them. People here are not so friendly so it has been very hard for me. It's just not what I thought it would be.......

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

We have moved several times, cross country twice, my husband is a Marine.

If you dont' have to, then don't.
Moving is expensive, even if the military is doing it.
It takes a good year to figure out the new place, sometimes longer. It takes me about 2 to really be part of the community.
You know where everything is right now, your grocery store's aisles are in your head, the cleaners know you, you have a dentist and doctors that do not need you to repeat your medical history every time you walk in the door.

My advice is to not mess with a good thing. Take a vacation, buy a summer home in Maine, host a foreign exchange student.

Also there is a big difference between NY and the south. I'm originally from Chicago and the culture shock was huge when we moved to NC. Now I atually enjoy the southern ways. The cullture shock was worse going from NC to CA. Living south of DC is like being near Chicago, except without the snow.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

In the islands, we call that feeling "rock fever."
Meaning, you are antsy and just wanna go somewhere.
But you need to discern, whether that feeling dictates that you move the ENTIRE family... or just go traveling and see the world.

In Hawaii, many people move away. But then, they come back. Because once they are gone... they really miss Hawaii and all of its positives and nice people/weather, that they did not have, in their new place of residence to which they moved. Then, some cannot move back, because they can't afford to. And then they are "stuck" where they are etc.

So you need to discern, your reason for feeling antsy or bored.
And, perhaps you and the family can just go traveling.... to many places and abroad.
And the thing is, you would need a consensus of your family, in order to move. If you were just single, then it would be just pick up and go.

I was born here, and I have lived in many other places. Abroad as well.
But, Hawaii is where I want "roots" and to raise my kids. I know that. And fortunately, my Husband likes it here too. Although he is from Europe.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

I moved from the UK to Texas in 2006. My husband initially moved there to be with me in 2000 because of my career as a podiatrist, I made great money and had a nice house etc. But after 6 years he began to hate the dreary weather and missed his home in TX. So we moved, and honestly I have regretted it. I was a SAHM mom for 4 years, and it really wasn't for me. After being a career woman for 11 years, staying home was hard for me, boring and unfulfilling. I have difficult kids too, my son is epileptic and has ADD, and I home schooled him for 2 years, that nearly killed me! I have been going to school now for 2 years, and I do enjoy that, but we have no money, live in a tiny trailer because I can't use my degree over here and now have to get another one.
There was always a feeling growing up that I wanted to live somewhere else, but I wish I hadn't listened to it! I was much happier in a place where I knew who I was.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

I assume you mean after you have a family? I've moved a lot in general and I always have a bit of a nagging feeling to get back home. But for some reason, I always felt like I'd be a bit of a failure if I never lived anywhere but where I grew up. no idea why. I'm not particularly adventurous. I think it's great to move but my moving was before kids. It really opens up your perspective. It's kind of amazing. I have a friend in NYC who says she'd never want to live anywhere else and I think "well, maybe that's bc you've never tried anywhere else..." But once you have a family, it's obviously a much bigger risk. Your husband would have to be on board and it'd take at least a year or two most likely for you to settle in your new place. And then it depends how old your kids are. We moved when I was almost 10, my sister 15. It could have been disasterous for us to move when she was entering HS. But - she's always been very popular and very grounded so she did great. We're all glad we moved bc it was to a nicer town, state etc. My parents were very glad. So when I think about moving, it'll depend a bit on how easily my kids make friends. I was shy so I'd have had a harder time likely moving when I was entering HS. What you have sounds nice though... A lot of peopel would love it. But I will say that I think if you stick it out somewhere long enough, you find people you like etc so a move could be fine. But would it be better? Probably not. There's nothing like old friends. Sorry - no easy answer...

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Where would you go and what would you do? If you don't have any answers than stay where you are.

Moving is expensive dollar wise, time wise, physical wise and emotional. You do have to change up everything, find out where everything is. Register your kids in school and register your cars in the new state. Deposits for all utilities, new insurance rates, mortgage/rental fees and a new job.

Usually it takes two years to get back up on your feet from a move whether is across the country or from/to another continent (military speaking). You get moving allowances but that does not cover everything for the move and what you have to buy again because it does not fit or you are overweight (you have to pay the difference).

Get on the web and check out travel for a two week stay somewhere and go there. Check out all of the local attractions and sites. Come home and compare them to what you have.

It's going to be cheaper than moving everyone and not liking it or wanting to come home right away and you can't.

The only thing good about moving like that is that my house was always tidy and not over stuffed with things because you had a weight allowance for all of your belongings. You had to keep up with what you had and get rid of things you didn't need and not to hold on to things you thought you might need again.

Let us know what you decide.

The other S.

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A.J.

answers from New York on

We moved from CT to Switzerland almost 3 years ago. My husband was offered a job and the offer was just too good to pass up. We took the job and then found out I was pregnant with my second (when my first was just 6 months) and I said I didn't want to go. Luckily we didn't have a choice, since there was no job for him if we stayed. And it has been amazing! I know have 3 girls. My 2 oldest who are 2.5 and 4 are already speaking and understanding French. We have met so many amazing people and gotten to travel to many places we never would have seen. It's sometimes hard beig away from family but we have made our own family here and it is a great place to visit. We are hoping that we will be able to stay when his contract is up in 2 years. Or maybe we will be off on another adventure! Good luck to you!

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J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Yes. I moved from Missouri to Florida. We moved because my husband got an incredible job offer, and it was take it and move or go bankrupt.

All of our family is back in Missouri. If I could move back, I would. In a heartbeat. While I think living here has been an interesting experience, what I wouldn't give to be able to pack up my daughter and see my family without it taking a fortune, and six hours of travel time (including flights).
Or to meet my best friend for a dinner and a night out.....

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

well the first week of july we (my daughter and i) will be moving from california to washington state. my husband will be driving back to ca to go back to work and await me finding a job. this is not the most conventional move but we have to have an income to pay our bills. we are moving to get far away from my in laws and also because my husband enjoys hunting etc. i have family where we are going and its just a slower better life for our child.
as soon as i get a job my husband will put in his two week notice and will pack up our things (beds dressers etc) since we will be taking very little with us. my daughter and i will be living in my dads motor home until i get a job and my husband moves up then we will move in to a mobile home till we save up to buy our first house. we are really looking forward to this move as we have been putting it off for 2 years (to pay off our car). we will have less then 6 months to pay by the time we move.

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J.F.

answers from Bloomington on

I moved from IN to Vegas to teach (right out of college). Moved back to IN 4 years later to care for my mom (terminal cancer). Stayed "home" for 1.5 years. Moved to MN for another job. Stayed 6 years. Just moved back to IN (2 hours south of "home"), and plan to stay here. We have two kids ages 4 and 2.

What I've learned about ME: I like to be near family....just not in the same town. We are always the ones to travel, so it made sense to not be SOO far.

It takes about 3 years for a place to feel like home.

Moving cities is just as big as moving states....just less government changes (driver's licenses, car tags/titles, insurances, etc.)

If you are settled where it makes sense (and your's sounds like it does), then just travel every chance you get.

My favorite part of a vacation is coming home to MY house. No other place will give you THAT feeling.

If you really want to know what it feels like, "wear" the decision to move for a week or two. Tell yourself you are going to move to X. Now go through your day-to-day and see it through those lenses. It will change the way you see your situation. "If we moved to X, we would have to change....... (pediatricians, car insurance agents, doctors, hair stylists, banks (new accounts.....auto pay) ....etc......)

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D.F.

answers from El Paso on

My biggest move was to GA in 08, from TX.
It was because my x family needed help and such. But I've got to say the worst mistake of my life, God it was horrible! But I can say if it wasn't for this move I wouldnt be where iam now. And now seems better than wen I got here. I dont think life is easier away from family, think its harder you Miss out on alot!! I wouldnt move if there was no need.
Unless there another town thats not to far from home like 6hr or 12hrs would be fine. But that's just me, im so use to living so far away and not being around family... :-)

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