Has Anyone Have Had Problems with Neighbors Because Your Kids Are Too Loud?

Updated on August 24, 2007
S.D. asks from Waterbury, CT
16 answers

I have lived in this apt building for 3 years now. Recently we had moved to a larger apt because our family is growing. I have 4 kids...their ages are 6 yr, 4 yr, 2 yr, and 9 months. The youngest one is breastfeeding so I'm doing that about 6 times a day. The neighbor downstairs from us keeps complaining about the kids running around(she has none of her own). I've talked to her 2 times about it. She had said that she could hear their 'shreiking', when they sing, the computer, etc...She suggested that I bring the kids to the park. I do that. She suggested that I give the kids a warm bath at night and give them massages. I've done all the above. Just a few nights ago, there was a thunderstorm. At 11:30pm, she was knocking on her ceiling. My kids were asleep. Another night, my kids were watching a movie. I was watching with them and she started to knock on the ceiling. Everyone was sitting. Another day, I cracked 2 cloves of garlic to get the peel off. She knocks again. What do you think I should do? Anyone else in my situation?

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So What Happened?

So I have read all the replies to my question...I thank you all. I'm surprised how many mothers actually responded...I'm new to this group and I now feel comfortable talking about motherhood. I'm starting a log to record all the complaints. I'm happy that I'm not the only one in this situation. Hopefully everything goes well from here. Again...THANK YOU!

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K.D.

answers from New York on

I think it is very rude of her to knock on the ceiling, and if I were you, I would tell her that. I think you should tell her that they are children, and they are not deliberately banging, UNLIKE HER, and she should just deal with it, like someone else wrote below, that is to be expected in an apartment building.

I also think you should print all the responses, and give them to her. GOOD LUCK, K.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Sounds like an older, cranky woman..haha. My best advice is to talk to the landlord and explain the situation. Even if they don't do anything about it, at least they can't say they didn't know and you didn't go to them if the problem escalates, which hopefully it doesn't! The landlord may also have some tips for what to do to deal with this tenant!
Good luck!

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D.P.

answers from New York on

I would suggest you talk to the landlord and cover your tracks. Explain everything so he/she is aware from your end. Kids are kids and there is not much you can do about that. She probably has nothing better to do but pick on your family. When you live in an apartment, there's not much you can do. Maybe if you are lucky, she'll move out! Good luck.

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L.V.

answers from New York on

I have had the same problem and I only have one child. The girl who lives downstairs from me is in her 20's and the first two saturdays we were there she complained of noise. We told her that we have a child and I am not going to keep him tied up. I try to keep the noise level to a minimum as much as I can but there isn't much I can do. All I can say is call your landlord, let him know the situation and she is going to just have to get over it. People with no children don't understand what its like so they are always the first to Judge. Just let your landlord know.

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A.P.

answers from New York on

If there is anyway you could move to another part of your apt complex, do that. I know it will be hard with 4 kids, but you would have to deal with your neighbor until you make a move. I had that same kind of problem when my son was a baby he is now 8. The lady would bang on the ceiling and bang on our door and complain to the lanlord. They asked us if we wanted to move to another part of the complex. We didn't have to because come to find out, she was a theif. She was stealing our mail and anything else that was being delivered to us. She was also using her computer to steal. She was claiming that her son had cancer and people would send her money to help her son get surgery. The complex moved her.

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G.M.

answers from New York on

Hi, I've been on both sides.When my daughter started walking and doing more moving around,the guy downstairs started knocking the ceiling often.I tried to limit her just to keep the peace,and on Sundays when we get ready for Church we kept our shoes off until we were at the door.It was frustrating. My husband and I met him one day in the elevator and that was the first time he actually saw the person that he wanted to keep silent.After that day there is no more knocking the ceiling. Today the shoe is on the other foot, above me a few people recently moved in and its none stop running and jumping, walking up and down all hours of the night, things dropping and I'm thinking when would this end. should I approach my neighbours or just bear with it.

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J.G.

answers from New York on

Complain to the lanlord that your being harrassed!

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J.Y.

answers from New York on

Oh my I have the same problem with my neighbor. I live in a town house style condo. We bought it about 3 years ago. I have 2 boys. When we first moved in we were very friendly with our neihgbor. He is in his 70's and is single. As my kids gor older now 5 and 3 yrs old he started to call me and complain to me when my kids were loud. Then he would come to my door. I finally got so frustrated with talking to him about it I stopped picking up the phone and answering the door. So needless to say we don't talk to this neighbor anymore. We don't even look each others way. My kids are just being normal kids. Kids are not going to be quiet every second of the day and that is what meighbors in condo's and apartments need to understand. If they want total queit then need to move in a house all by themselves. Don't feel bad If your kids are playing and making some noise. You should not have to deal with this. It is unfortunate that you have to deal with this. Next I would talk to your neighbor about the problems. It may be best if you get no where with this to not talk to her anymore.

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V.S.

answers from New York on

I agree with what these other ladies have said.

Going to the landlord is your first step. Keep a journal of the occasions that the neighbor knocks on your ceiling. That way you can accurately document times your neighbor does this, and the activities your family is doing at the time. Ask the landlord who was living in your apartment before you. maybe it was a person with no kids who was never home and the neighbor needs to adjust. Ask the landlord to install carpets in your apartment... they help to deaden the noise.

I'd also tell the woman to call the landlord if she has a complaint, and to stop knocking on your ceiling or YOU will complain about HER to the landlord. Your noise is not malicious.. it's the noise of living. Her noise is malicious and intrusive, and you need to involve the landlord. I'm amazed that she is presumptive and rude enough to be giving you mothering advice! Don't let the woman intimidate you... As long as you make sure your kids keep their noise to respectful levels, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Now.. not that I recommend it, but I had a downstairs neighbor that used to crank his music all night long. When I complained to him, he said that he worked days and it was his lifestyle and I had better get used to it. My solution was to lay my speakers on the floor and crank the base all day long. When he complained I told him it was my lifestyle and he and better get used to it. His music got much quieter after that.

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S.B.

answers from New York on

Hi,

I don't know how constructive this is but we used to have a neighbor like that. My husband would leave in the morning for work and when our door would click shut (it was on a pressure spring so that it closed slowly and never slammed) she would scream up through the hallway "Shut the "F" up!" followed by more cursing etc. She actually called the police on us once and on our neighbor next to us twice. (She was above us by the way) and constantly stomped around in protest. When you slid a counter drawer closed in the kitchen she would slam something that sounded like a bowling ball on the floor right above you. She knocked and cursed out my husband once and he couldn't figure out why. It was harassment in my book. There was someone in that apartment before her that never had a problem with any of us, we all know noise happens, its an apartment and this was a very nice community in Scarsdale. Well, we and our same floor neighbors filed complaints about her being unreasonable and documented her reactions to the little things we were doing day to day (which was so extreme it was comical when we looked at it later) and she ended up getting evicted. Thank God. The family that moved in after her was great and once we got to know them we told them the story and they said they never had a problem with the noise from us or our neighbors. Anyway- if you feel like your neighbor is being unreasonable in her expectations of apartment living you might want to ask around and see if anyone else is having a problem with her so you can rally some support. If you want to be ultra curtious you could put some heavy carpeting with padding in your place (if she's under you) to insulate from the noise. Or if you have carpet already you could put an area rug on top of it. But if she really is a nut job you might want to lodge a complaint about her. It worked for us. Good luck- don't let her intimidate you.

S.

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C.R.

answers from New York on

Yes!!!! I just moved a couple of months ago and my new neighbors hate noise even at 6pm the kids cant talk in the yard or they complain, Try to ignore them but let your kids be kids. People are so mean. good luck

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J.L.

answers from New York on

You should ask her to swap apartments with you so she'll be above you. She sounds like she might be the type of person that's going to complain no matter what so you may also want to look around for something else when your lease is up. Good luck
Jen L.

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S.G.

answers from New York on

well my neighbor once came up at about 3 in the morning knocking on the door that the kids were being loud when we where all asleep i guess she waited til that time just to be annoying. so i slammed the door in her face called the police and explained to them that i have a baby and my stepdaughter was staying over and im pregnant and dont need these problems knowing that living in a building theres others around i suggested them to tell her to buy a house after that she never ever came back. kids are part of life an normally the people who dont have them are the ones that dont understand

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C.K.

answers from New York on

First of all, don't let anyone tell you that you have to tiptoe around the house that you pay for. I myself have had neighbors like that and their is nothing you can do to please them so don't try. Children will be children and if she can't handle it then let her move because the fact is she chose to live downstairs and so she has to deal with the noise. Don't let her tell you what to do with your family, more than likely the first time you stand up to her and tell her that there is nothing you can do to prevent her from hearing any noise and maybe she's the one with a problem, she probably won't bother you anymore. Also, let the landlord know that she is banging on the ceiling when your kids are sleeping or sitting still so he knows that she's exaggerating if she reports a noise problem to him. Good luck!

C.S.

answers from New York on

I think you should kindly remind her that noise is a part of apartment living. We lived on the third floor and I can only imagine what it sounded like downstairs. Especially with my son in the jumperoo. Now, we live in the same house, but on the first floor. And I swear the second floor, who are my landlords, are getting back at us by stomping their feet whenever they walk. It would be 6:00am and they are stomping like elephants.
We just laugh it off. What can I do? If I complain and piss them off, they are only going to stomp louder and play their music louder.
I would tell her that you are doing your best to keep the noise to a minimum. And if she persists, call your landlord.

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M.V.

answers from New York on

As one poster already stated, this is apart of living in an apartment. It's not your fault whoever built the apartment didn't make them sound proof. What does she expect for children to do when they are in the home tip toe around? What about when winter come and the kids can't play outside as much?

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