Has Anyone Had Experience with Night Terrors?

Updated on April 11, 2008
C.G. asks from Croydon, PA
23 answers

Hello,

My daughter is going to be two in a few weeks. She was diagnosed with having Night Terrors when she was six months old. We were able to manage it up until now. It's to the point now where she fights us to go to bed which shouldn't be related to the night terrors because technically they're still asleep, and just recently is fighting taking a nap. You can look at her and see that she is exausted, not to mention impossible to deal with when she doesn't sleep. We are able to get her down at night, after fighting for a few hours, only to have her wake up an hour maybe two later. My husband and I are so exausted, we also have a nine month who who does sleep thank God, we resort to bringing her in our bed so as not to wake the baby. She does still sleep in the crib. We have toyed with the idea of putting her in the toddler bed, but now we're thinking that might be a bad idea and would give her even easier access to getting into our bed, not to mention that when she has a night terror she thrashes about violently. We have to make sure that she doesn't hurt herslef, and we're not supposed to wake her just like you shouldn't wake a sleep walker. There isn't anything we can do about the Night Terrors, the Pediatrician says that we have to wait for her to grow out of them, which could take until she is ten. I can wait that long. I don't mind getting up with her at night as long as she would go back to sleep. But it's just not that easy. If anyone has any advice at all or has delt with this type of situation please help. We need to get some sleep, but more importantly our daughter needs to sleep. Thanks.
C.

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So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone for sending their advice it was very much appreciated. We pretty much had to wait it out. For the past three nights we didn't make a big deal about going to bed and let her stay up until she was relly tired. Then we did her normal routine and put her to bed in her big girl bed. She is still waking up in the middle of the night but not as often. If we can't get her back to sleep in her bed we just bring her in our bed. She is even back to taking naps again in the big girl bed. Thanks again to everyone who wrote in.

More Answers

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi C.,
I was friends with a family whose little girl went through the same thing. They were told to have her finger-paint during the day. I know it sounds strange. I guess it has something to do with sensory integration and stimulation. Anyway, they swore that it worked. They would have her finger paint every day. It's worth a try. It's cheap and easy and kids love it. Let me know if it does work because I feel like I always run into some child somewhere with the same issue. Good Luck.

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A.L.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi, I never had betime battles per say, but did have the night terrors. Has anything changed in your lives recently?? Even the tiniest thing?? To be honest, our pediatrician had us give our daughter 1/4 tsp of dimetapp about an hour before bedtime. It took about 2 months, and worked.

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D.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter had night terrors at that age (she is now 14). She grew out of them way before she was 10. With our daughter, she didn't actually wake up during the terrors although she appeared to be awake. At first, we would wake her up in an effort to snap her out of the trashing and screaming, but this seemed to make matters worse and she would be up all night. We found if we just let her be, watching her to be sure she wasn't able to get hurt in any way but not touching her, the terror would eventually end and she would quiet down and be back to a more restful sleep. Although it would seem that the terrors lasted an hour, they usually only lasted about 10 minutes.

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N.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hello C. my daughter would fight me when i would put her to bed in her crib about the same age and was waking up screaming so we bought a toddler bed and she never woke again screaming and she was excited to go to bed in her big girl bed. We had to put up a baby gate in her door was cause our rooms were up stairs and i was scared if she got out of bed that she would fall down the stairs so maybe try that. hope this helps. N.

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B.W.

answers from Erie on

No experience, but I'm wondering if being with Mom and Dad does calm her down ?

Try getting a twin bed, and when she wakes up, take turns climbing in her bed with her, and holding her. whatever is scaring her, obviously she needs some sense of protection and comfort. Would quiet music help? If you put something soothing on, bird sounds. whatever on a CD player, and climb into bed with her, maybe she will begin to associate the calming music with the comfort, and at a later date you would only need to use the music?

Meanwhile, if you don't want her in your bed, the best place is to climb into hers, and that won't work with a crib. Also,if you take turns, only one of you loses sleep per night.

I have this theory that kids know what they need, and they are good at letting us know, if we catch on. sometimes we as parents don't want to catch on, for whatever reason. But if you are able to deal with the problem, by meeting the needs, the behavior will change. So I would be sure to hold her so she feels safe, esp feeling safe in her own bed. Maybe with a special stuffed animal, like Winnie the Pooh or something. I like Pooh cuz the stories around Pooh are timeless and age appropriate in our otherwise crazy world. He's also gentle, cuddly and not terribly bright although always loveable and well-intentioned. He's easy to identify with, and he's a decent role model as cartoons go.

We have a 14 year old who never was diagnosed, but every once in a while would have such nightmares that she could never tell us what they were, but she'd show up in our room absolutely shaking. there's no way I could ever send her back to bed like that, so she would climb in with us, and we'd all sleep together. It wasn't a nightly thing, so it was easier on us, but imagine how horrible it must be for your daughter to be afraid to shut your eyes and sleep ?

I remember, my brother's oldest, when she was very young, used to go almost into a panic, and they thought perhaps she was reliving birth. ?? they used to put her in the snuggly carrier, and walk her around, and that worked for her. Your daughter is older than that now, but I would try to find what does provide comfort and use that until her panic subsides. Also, try to introduce a snuggly stuff animal to the group comfort hugs -- because as she grows up, it's much easier to take a stuffed animal to Grandma's house than to bring Mommy and Daddy whereever she goes. :-) My 14 yr old brings a stuffed animal to her friends' houses to sleepovers, as do most of her friends, and it's perfectly acceptable for girls. So the stuffed animal wouldn't ever be a sign to her friends that she is "a baby". :-) I even had one on my college bed ! And, yes, when I was lonely at night, 500 miles from home, I hugged it. :-)

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A.L.

answers from Allentown on

My daughter, who is now 3, had night terrors. She would wake up screaming in the middle of the night. We would just comfort her and get her back to sleep. There are times when we let her in our bed, but we did not do it all the time so that she didn't get used to being in our bed. Sometimes I would just sit in our rocking recliner in the living room until she fell back asleep and would then put her in her room again. They are the worst and there is nothing that you can do to stop them. The biggest thing to do is to make your child feel secure and know that you are there for them. Most people whom I have spoke with, it was a short term thing or at least the issue lessened. My daughter has one on the rarest of occasions now. (Less than 1/mo)

Good luck.

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M.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter is now 7 but had night terrors from around 3 1/2 to 5 1/2. She would wake up but like you mention not really wake up and she would scream and not want us to help her or touch her and would also thrash about. I even remember her telling me when I touched her the one time that I was burning her. It's really an awful thing to watch because as a parent you are helpless; I cried many tears during these times and in the morning she didn't even remember.
Also for us, the more we tried to interact with her the longer it lasted (like hours). So I have to agree with another response that I think it's best to just watch her to make sure she doesn't hurt herself. The frequency also seemed to be less as she got older. Just remember that this is "normal" too because during those episodes I know it sure doesn't feel it! Best of luck that she outgrows them quickly.

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T.R.

answers from Providence on

Hi C.....we are right there with ya! Our 2 1/2 yr. old daughter has had night terrors since she was an infant. The animal like screams, blank stares, thrashing about...ah..seems like the fits last forever. Rest assured knowing that she is just stuck in an odd spot in her REM cycle and she will have no recollection of the terror (meaning it's not like a nightmare where they can remember it in the morning). Seems like you know what to do (letting her ride out the terror without interfering, making sure she stays safe, etc.). As for the struggle with naps and bedtimes, that's a whole other request!! I posted the same request a couple of months ago and its safe to say that it was just a phase. Thank goodness. We went through a few months of fighting sleep (which was horrible on us and our daughter) but with a longer bedtime routine, letting her cry for 10 minutes and rewards we were able to get her back on a decent schedule. Night terrors suck but I hear they will pass on their own. Hope this helps...know that many of us are in your situation...hang in there... I wish the best for you and your family and hope you get some sleep soon!!!

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E.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter is now 10. She had night terrors from about 3 years until 5 years. She did outgrow them! She would wake up and come running out of her room screaming. She would run around her room or the house in circles! We couldn't just let her do that! After trial and error, the best thing for us, was to tell her to go to the bathroom...they seem to have started around toilet training time! For some reason, going into the bathroom, turning on the light, and doing a regular "routine" seemed to wake her up gently and calmly out of an episode! It worked every time! Good luck! And remember, it does get better!

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J.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

PLEASE, get a king sized bed and let her sleep with you ALL the time. She will feel so much more secure knowing you and your husband are there and maybe, just maybe you will all get some more sleep. There is nothing wrong with cosleeping, it is actually very healthy. If you and/or your husband layed down \with her in your bed, maybe she'd go to bed easier. We all like to be near others. Check out askdrsears.com . Maybe you'll find some good info there. He is a ped in CA who offers really good, straight forward advice and he also talks about the benefits of cosleeping. maybe you'll even find more, different advice on night terrors.
Good luck.

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J.I.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My husband had night terrors as a child, and is fine now. But your child sounds like she is really having problems.

I have learned not to accept my pediatrician's word as final. They can be wonderful, but they don't know everything. And to me, as much as this is affecting your whole family, dismissively saying "she'll grow out of it" does not help her or your family now. It is true, she probably will grow out of it, but I'm sure that someone can help you find coping mechanisms for now. If he/she won't help, find a different pediatrician who will. Or, maybe you have a health plan where you don't need the referral. Your family's life is really affected by this. Push to see a specialist. I know Children's has sleep studies and things, perhaps specialists. That's where I would check first. I am sure that there is more for you. It may take some time, but don't give up. I've found solutions to health problems after exhaustive search on the internet. There are things that help, you just have to keep looking. Good luck.

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T.A.

answers from Philadelphia on

I have no knowledge of "Night Terrors", however, I would recommend that you and your husband move forward with your idea of the toddlers bed. Make it her "big girl bed" and allow her to select sheets with you, etc...make sure she is a part of it...hopefully, having it be her decision so to speak it may help. Best of Luck!

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A.C.

answers from York on

C.,

My duaghter had night terrors at that age 2. It was most horrible, so I don't envy the situation that you are in. Most pediatricians don't recommend what I did for my daughter, but it truly worked and it helped her get thru the long nights of darkness.

We decided at an early age to put a tv in her room. It helped her with the things that go bump in the night. Maybe try music. We did that for awhile too, but the tv at that time was our godsend.

My daughter is 7, and still has a tv in her room, but she is able to go to bed most nights without ever having the terros that she began with at the age of 2.

Putting your child in bed with you isn't the best idea either because it can become a habit so quickly, not to mention that most people can get a lot of sleep.

Try the music and work h*** o* putting her to bed and keeping her there on her own. The toddler bed will give her easier access to freedom, but in the end maybe it might be what she needs.

Good Luck

A. C.

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S.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am 48 and still have night terrors once in a while (for me they are very real hallucinations that last only 30 seconds or so). They only happen when I sleep face up (lying flat on my back), so you may want to try getting your daugther to sleep on her side. Also, does she have a night light? When I have a hallucination, I turn the light on to fully wake myself and "get a grip on reality", then I can go right back to sleep. My daughter had a few when she was a toddler, but grew out of them quickly. I am guessing they could return when she is older, as did mine. My mother slept walked as a child, so maybe it's hereditary. Neurologist said there is apparently a misfiring in my brain when I transition from one sleep stage to another, since for me they always occur 25-30 minutes after I go to sleep. Sleeping pills were the only solution offered, which I refused. When she is older she will understand what is happening and brush them off easily herself. Perhaps trying to get her to understand it a little bit now will help? Good luck.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi C.,
Sounds like a really tough situation. I have not had experience with Night Terrors but I wanted to offer my thoughts on changing her to a big bed. Personally, I would not move her at this point. I wish I had left my son in a crib longer. I read that if the child is NOT climbing out--let them stay in the crib until they're 3! I wish I had known that because when we moved our son to a bed, it opened up an entirely new set of issues and it might for you too. She will be able to get out of bed and walk around the house at night. I didn't like the idea of my son doing that especially since the door to his room was right at the top of our stairs. We ended up using a baby gate at his doorway and he would stand at the gate and scream. Just wanted to offer my opinion on moving out of the crib--maybe instead you could get her a new special night-lite or soft music CD to entice her to go to bed more willingly. Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Scranton on

I don't have any experience with Night Terrors, but Ferber's book "Solving your child's sleep problems" has a section on it. I have found the book incredibly helpful in other areas. It sounds exhausting and my heart goes out to you. Good luck!

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L.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi, I am a stay at home mom with four under the age of 9. My oldest daughter had the night terrors. They do start around the age of two and lasts up one year. We would or my husband actually walked her a round until she fell asleep. When she woke up she would come into our bed. We figured they are only young once. Then if she would have them in our bed I would just simply lay my hand on her leg or thigh with a gentel squeez and it seemed to do the trick. She is now 9 has no problem sleeping in her own bed. Hope this helps. I know it is frustrating watching them go through it but it realy does get better and they do not even remember.

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E.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi C.. Our 7 yr old started having night terrors when he was about 2 1/2. To make a long story short, we figured out that he seemed to get them more if he was exhausted and just passed out instead of taking a few minutes to fall asleep. One article I read suggested that when they take a little time to fall asleep, their brain sorts out the day, but when they pass out, their brain can't process all the day's events and they can come out as a night terror. Knock on wood, our son hasn't had one in a year (thank God, because he's in the top bunk now). Hang in there, it does get better eventually.

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L.T.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi, my oldest had night terrors. What I was told and what we strove for was for her to not get overtired and over heated while sleeping. Keep the room cool. In terms of being overtired, does she sleep in the car? Not a long term solution, but you will never get out of the cycle if she is always over tired, ride around in the car during nap time to at least until she starts to catch up on sleep. If you put her in a big girl bed, it may be an incentive to go to bed and also you can lay down with her easier so she doesn't need to be in your bed, but you can lay down with her in her big girl bed. I would say your first priority is to get her fully rested and that should help the night terrors. When she does have a terror we always would talk to her and ask her questions until she calmed down and relaxed again. Remember she is not awake, just be sure she doesn't hurt herself if she is a big thrasher.

good luck to you and your daughter. L.

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S.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi C.:
I also have 2 children 14 months apart -- a boy who is 6 in May and a girl who is 5 in July. And yes, they keep you on your toes! But it's really nice to see how close they are becoming. You'll enjoy that.

Sorry to hear about your sleep problems. My daughter has had night terrors, and they are truly terrifying at first when you don't know what they are. My daughter definitely seems to be growing out of them, so don't lose heart. I have been told that one trigger is being too hot at night, so check your room temp and also make sure she is not dressed too warmly. Maybe there's no connection, but my daughter never wants to use covers, for example!

We have never had any issues with her not wanting to go to sleep, though. In fact, ahe really doesn't seem to remember having the night terrors. Is it possible your daughter is having actual nightmares? That might explain more why she doesn't want to go to sleep. And when did the sleeping problems start? Could it be related to the new baby? (ie. she doesn't want to miss out on anything.)

Good luck to you!
S.

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M.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

C. - my daughter is now 29, and we experienced the exact same thing when she was 2! We blamed it on the arrival of her brother, but no one really knows. Our solution, since we also did not want to bring her into our bed, or lose another minute of sleep, was two-fold. We did put her in a bed, since she was literally flinging herself over the railing of her crib and we were terrified that she would be seriously injured. At that point, my husband put a sleeping bag next to her bed, and each night, he slept on the floor next to her until she was sound asleep (I was breast-feeding our infant son and wasn't able to stay in her room, if necessary). There were times when my husband was unable to leave her room, but eventually, it worked. The time he spent in her room decreased, and her episodes lessened until she finally slept through the night. It's no fun, and the alternative is to bring her into your room. We chose sleep over danger and screaming! Best of luck to you.

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi C....night terrors are really tough. My oldest had them when she was two and we had just had our second. She would scream in terror and when we went to her to comfort her she would actually fight us...after a few times I stopped and watched when my hubby went to her and suddenly realized that she was actually asleep even though she appeared awake (eye's open, talking a bit, fighting). After that when she would scream I would walk into her room calling her name loudly then walk over to her bed (she was in a twin bed from a toddler bed at that point) and I would gently lay her back down tuck the blankets around her and she would sigh and would go back to sleep for the rest of the night. She never remembered anything in the morning. I began to noticed it only happened when we would have a really busy day, or on a day when the baby would be really fussy. This was also the time when she began to quit taking naps unless she was really tired. Honestly it went away after a few months as suddenly as it began.

She is now 16 and I will tell you that after a really hetic or stressfull day she does talk in her sleep a bit (my hubby does too) I don't know if it's related, but I think it is. I think that night terrors are somehow linked to how stressfull or busy the child percieves their day to have been. Neither of my other two children went throught this, and she is our oldest....things that make you think I guess. Hang in there, watch for patterns, and hopefully this "stage" will pass quickly for you. Best wishes.

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I know someone who has, and i have learned that we need to pray constanly for our children. Pray over your child and over her room. Read psalm 91 and read stories from the Bible before they go to sleep. Buy christian worship music and play it in the childs room. Also if you can get your hands on the book "the power of a praying parent'' by stormie omaritan it will be a blessing to you and to your husband as you pray for your child. Blessings. C.

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