Guilt over Dating - Divorced Single Mom of Young Children

i have felt that way. Even with parents who should have been divroced I still felt that way. I always felt awkward and embarrassed admitting i was divorced and always felt a need to explain why so people didnt automatically assume i J. left the relatnioship or it was my fault. I always had a need to explain but also gave watered down reasons so I wasnt trashing my ex.

In regards to dating I always felt a need to qualify I was only with x numebr of people so people didnt think i was sleeping with everyone.

After the fact, now that i'm in a serious relatiosnhip I realize that was all my own issues. noone was really judging M. harshly but myself

You have every right to go out and to enjoy male company, even sex if you want.You have the right to enjoy the company of more than one man, even sex with more than one man if you want. You do not need to feel guilty about it, nor are you obligated to divulge to your friends and acquaintances the details of how you spend your personal time. .

If it makes you feel uncomfortable, theres no rule that says you have to date. Its totally fine to just focus on your kids and not worry about finding a new boyfriend/husband. Also, Ive always found that when you stop looking, an opportunity present itself.

Can you casually say to any of them - "I went to dinner on a date this weekend" and see what their reaction is? I would hope, that as true friends, they would be happy for you! Maybe they even have men they know of looking to date, but they think you've sequestered yourself away. You can't live in a convent or in a social vacuum until your kids are out of the house.
The fact that you don't let your kids grow a bond with anyone you are dating speaks volumes about your priorities. As a mom, 'supposed to be married' - you got divorced for a reason (a damn good one it seems!) So, you aren't supposed to be in a bad relationship, even with your children's father.
Live a little :) Guilt free.

I just want to add my voice to the chorus:

You're FINE.

Besides, as you said, there's no one special.

So what's that leave you in conversation? The weekly tally of losers and blahs? Or the "I know you haven't been out since The Dead came to town , so let me tell you about all the restaurants and dancing, miniature golf and rock climbing, wine tasting and volleyball Ive been doing!"

I mean, if you had someone you were bubbling over, would want to introduce to your friends, etc.... Then I'm sure you'd talk about him. Fairly guilt free.

Ditto if someone kind was energetic about your dating life, someone who asked you about it. Who made you feel chillaxed out talking about maybes and crash and burns and nights out.

(Oy, Im on the other side of that fence... PEOPLE. IM AM NOT DATING. No. No ines, cousins, neighbors, local wards, old roommates from college. No! Zip, nada zilch. Stop. Just STOP trying to set me up, change my mind, aieeeeee).

So we need to trade married friends.

Mine won't stop talking about dating.
Yours won't start.

Awkward.

Maybe it's the audience? That you feel weird because they are in a different place than you are? You might want to expand your social circle so that you are also hanging out with parents in your situation for a different POV. You're a woman even when you're a mom. As long as you balance your needs with theirs, don't feel guilty - about anything. Taking a trip, working, dating, etc. You're a parent, not a nun. But if you're not ready to date, then don't. Do what's best for your situation right now.