Goodbye Naps, I Will Miss You Greatly

I A. having the same problem with my three-year-old and his 8-month-old twin brothers. I tried putting a CD with a story or songs on for him, but yes, mostly he's a lot louder than I would like and his brothers then don't sleep as long or at all. Not fun. I can empathize!

When my oldest is awake and my baby is sleeping, we cook. It's usually that night's dinner, but sometimes it's pancakes or muffins to freeze (for a day when we don't get a great chance to cook).

It's still working, but I've found that it's easier to involve her in something quiet that we do together than it is to expect her to play quietly by herself when she's well rested and ready to go.

What about setting him up with "books on tape" type thing? My Daughter really liked this Idea (got it from another mom!) especially since she was not old enough to read herself. She really liked following along in the book and picked up really quickly the "turn the page when the chime rings like this" part. I got our books on CD from HSN or QVC dont remember which but it was a set of about 15 of them and not only did it intrigue her, it helped her vocab and ability to grasp stories because we would "talk" about the stories when she was done...kinda fun mommy n me time :0)
good luck!
Jamie

At 3.5 years old I would suggest a Leapster or Leap Pad. They are both learning "toys". He is old enough to start introducing math, English, reading, music, etc. to him and these can be fun easy ways for him to keep occupied. And they are simple enough to use that he shouldn't need your help. Plus, they make noise therefore he shouldn't feel the need to get too loud either (we use head phones to keep the noise really down, even though he thinks it might be loud) I've used them for both my boys starting at about the same age and it's great because they think they're video games. Good luck.

Teach him to whisper.
Teach him it is quiet time.... and that means Mommy too and that it is your work time/quiet time too.
My kids, know that when it is quiet time, Mommy also "rests" and/or does my work. Its the ROUTINE.... that they know and we do. Everyday.

My son is 3.5 years old... and when when either of my kids are napping (or even Daddy/my Hubby), the kids just KNOW to be quiet and whisper.
They do it, unbelievably.

My son still naps though... are you sure your son does not get tired?
My son naps around 2:30. For 2 hours. Its doesn't affect his bedtime or night time sleep. But sometimes he naps earlier. I go by his cues.

Or, play white noise in your baby's room, when baby is napping, to drown out the noise your son makes.

A Leapster is also a great thing for a kid the age of your older son. And it keeps the child busy and it is educational. My son loves his and my daughter.... it is "quiet" when they are using it, and keeps them occupied for a good amount of time chunks.

all the best,
Susan

Every child is different. My son napped through kindergarten and still napped on weekends through first grade. Most of the time my husband and I would lay down with him to get him started and we'd all end up dozing off and napping an hour or two our selves. I miss those family siestas!

It was the worst day ever when I realized that a week had gone by, and my son hadn't taken one nap! We now have "rest time" every day. My son knows that during rest time, he needs to lay quietly in my bed and either watch a movie (or tv show) or he may play his Leapster. He is not allowed to get out of bed (unless he needs to use the potty), and talking is discouraged. It may sound harsh, but his 1 hour of rest time gives me time to either rest with him, or catch up on the few things that need to get done (and obviously re-charge me emotionally). The first few days were tough to get him to realize the new rules, but now, he'll tell me that he is ready for rest time because he knows it makes him feel better too! Good luck! It truly was a sad day in our house too! :(

We give my son quiet time in the afternoon, and put him in his room with the babygate up for an hour or so. He can nap, or play or "read" books. We got him Melissa & Doug puzzles and a little train set ( Imaginarium My First Train Set is wonderful - http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3336527), that keeps him busy for a long time.

We also make it a point to have "quiet time" for daddy, and for mommy too (separately). One of us takes care of him and says that mommy or daddy needs some quiet time. He's learned to respect this and now asks for quiet time or "a break" when he's tired.

He's old enough to learn that quiet time means quiet time. Put him in his room (or another private area of the house) and give him a few "stations". My son does much better with that than if we give him free access to all his toys...too much to choose from and he can't make a decision. We'll ususally have a books station, plus 2 other toy stations we know will keep him occupied for a while.

It may take a few days, but keep reminding him that he needs to be quiet during this time. He'll learn.

You might also consider buying a white noise machine to put in the baby's room. We have the Marpac, and it's wonderful!

Sure there is a do not disturb time. Puzzles, clay, coloring are all quiet activities. It will be adjusting for both of you, as you will have to learn to answer his question and send him back to "work".

I had the same problem until I bought a Marpac Sound Conditioner (white noise machine) on Amazon to use in the baby's room. Now my older child can make noise without waking up the little one. Its a great solution, since it isn't really realistic or fair to ask a 3 1/2 year old to be quiet for more than a few minutes.

I have a 2 year old and almost 5 year old. My older child decided to give up naps at 2.5. Since then, we incorporated quiet time. It has evolved finally into something that works. She does like to decide she needs to use the bathroom during, or get another toy she didn't have ready. I let her choose books, quiet toys (My Little Pony or dolls-her choice), rest, or nap. She has been playing quietly for about 20-40 minutes of late and then falls asleep. One day with a cold battle, she slept for 7 hours and wouldn't wake for dinner. She finally woke at midnight, and I swear her pants were another inch shorter. She woke and asked for dinner and we got her ready for bed and she fell asleep for another 6-7 hours.

They still need naps once in awhile. My daughter averages a nap once every 2 weeks, unless she is sick or in a growth spurt.

You might have a few toys that are only to be played with during nap/rest time.

I think I will incorporate the 10min add on if out of the room and 5 for noise in the room. We do something less formal and it only kind of works. But if it more scheduled and consistant I think it will help. So thank you Crystal A.

Don't give up, it will come together.
D.

Could you set him up for "quiet time" in another part of the house? Sit him on a couch, or make up a corner with pillows, puzzles, books, maybe even coloring activities. I would use the threat of nap time for him if he is too noisy, and maybe get some yogurt covered pretzels(or something) for a treat if he is quiet for his whole quiet time. Photo albums are also great. My kids will look quietly at those for a long time.

I think if you stick to quiet time your son will learn how it is done. Give him a number of quiet activities that he can do without your help - books or puzzles on the floor. Then let him know that you need to have 1 hour of quiet before he can get up. (Or start with ten minutes of quiet and work your way up.) If he makes a noise, reset the timer. The first few days will suck, but, i think he can figure it out if you stick to your guns. (And, it is SOOOOO worth it. 1 hour of quiet time is not as good as naps were, but it is so much better than nothing.)

Good luck!

Now is the time for books, having him sit and read (look) through them. Big picture books. Or Legos or their baby safer version, duplo blocks. It can be quiet time while he's building and constructing his imagination. Even a 3.5 yr old still needs some real quiet time, a time to decompress and take a nap occasionally, re-charge his batteries and yours. You could also engage him in household activities, like helping you dust furniture, picking-up toys, match the socks in the laundry or fold wash cloths. These activites help him grow-up.

Take good care.

is he in preschool? If not, I would look into that as an option - even an extended day program for 2-3 days each week so that he can be awake and playing and you can still have your work time...as much as I really do understand (I have a 4.5 year old who naps most days, and a 1 year old who would prefer to not nap) - having kids generally means that you can't expect to have you time, unless you make other arrangements...so, you can interact with him (which is probably good for both of you - he probably doesn't get much on-on-one with the baby) or find "work" for him to do (workbooks, art projects, building projects that he can do somewhat independently), or enroll him in a preschool program!

Well this is just the way it goes in parenting land. As soon as things are going pretty well....naps go the way of the dodo. I have four sons in a 700 sq ft cabin. Since we have lived here two of the four have been born, and I completely understand trying to keep a baby asleep. My third kid just didn't sleep ever, so there wasn't much to be done about that, but by baby number four it was pretty well understood by all my men that a sleeping little man means you need to slow down your play. We also homeschool, so I always use naps to work with my older children. Me time just doesn't happen in the same way that it happened when I only had one kid. That is probably the biggest paradigm shift there is with parenting. In reality, losing nap time (losing "me time"), is a shift in the way you look at your parenting life. Your kids are getting older, and shortly baby number two won't be napping as much either. However, the kids don't stay where they are right now developmentally. It is amazing how long my guys can quietly entertain themselves. Legos, art projects, blocks, a tub of water and some scoops, blowing bubbles, bread dough, baking, you name it. Books are also a constant source of quiet entertainment. We don't force people to stay hidden away once they are too old for naps. I do ask older children who need a break from siblings to find a quiet alone place to recharge when they seem frazzled. It doesn't seem practicle to ask them to leave for a set period of time. Often they use the quiet time to talk with me and ask questions, or we talk about what is on their mind. I also have a large farm, and often just open the front door. The kids usually just wander out to play, and this leaves the house nice and quiet(but not a lot of people have this kind of situation).

Sincerely,
N.

Feeling. Your. Pain. The only thing I found effective was to just give up. I spent that time with my 3 y.o. watching a movie in bed while my 18 mo.o. slept. Nothing to do but accept. I moved work time to night. Sorry! Good luck....

I tried to respond yesterday and got kicked off...argg...I just read your what happened, so I wont elaborate. I just wanted to say that when my daughter gave up sleeping rests (around 4 1/2, she is 5 now...I was lucky), we instituted quiet time also, whether is was a movie or playing quietly...the key was enforcing the NOISE+INTERUPTIONS=Sleeping rest! it works! Good luck with your routine, I A. sure you will get it working.
P.S. thanks for the idea also about books on tape! I feel bad having her watch cartoons to rest, I think I will try that!

What we do:
One hour quiet/nap time. Calling me or making noise adds 5 minutes each time I have to respond. Coming out of the room adds 10 minutes each time. (Yeah, we've had "quiet" times that last almost 3 hours because of this, but not too often! They learn!)

As my kids pass the need for naps, they are allowed to look at books or otherwise play quietly in their room. "You can sleep, look at books or play quietly. But you must be quiet so we all get the rest we need. If you're really quiet, you can get up in one hour. If you're noisy, you'll add time and it will be longer." The digital clock in their room lets them know what time they can get up. If needed/desired, I write the time on a piece of paper so they remember what to look for.

We homeschool and part of our day includes SQUIRT. Super Quiet UnInterrupted Reading Time. Everyone to separate rooms for reading/book time. That means Mom gets it, too. Sometimes I read and other times I nap or quilt or do something else just for me.

I understand your frustration. Hang in there!

Do not plug him in! He and you will eventually work out a system so that you can get your work done and he can quietly function on his own. have you considered puzzles? I know that they are old fashioned now, but they do require thinking and are quiet.