Going to New School

Updated on June 03, 2014
S.G. asks from Redmond, WA
16 answers

my son is going to elementary school from this september..he is already going to kindercare..we discussed about the new school with him..that he will be going to new school...but intsead of getting excited he just screams...he just dont want to listen about the new school...less months are left now...i am in tension about the matter...how do i react to this problem?

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answers from Toledo on

You have to stop talking about it. September is more than 3 months away, and that is an eternity to him.

There's really no reason to bring it up again until about a week or so before school starts. Most schools will have a "Meet the Teacher's Night" before school begins, where child and parents have the opportunity to visit the classroom and meet the teacher and get a feel for things.

You have lots of time. Relax! Give him some time and try again later. He'll be fine.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Stop talking about it. The more you bring it up, the more anxious he's going to get. Every time you discuss it, it probably makes him think there is something to be nervous about. If you can, go play on the school playground once in awhile over the summer so he becomes familiar with the environment. If you know of anyone else going to the same school and the same grade, try to set up some play dates so he has a few familiar faces on the first day. But, when you do, don't make a big deal out of it. Just tell him you're meeting a new friend at the park.

I assume you still have at least two months, probably closer to three, before he starts at the new school. So, just stop talking about it.

5 moms found this helpful

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answers from Wausau on

Well, stop causing the problem by talking about it for now. He's got a 2-3 months to mature before Kindergarten starts, so let it rest.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

stop discussing it with him. something about it is stressing him out instead of getting him excited. it's very common for parents to over-sell new things in an effort to 'get them ready.'
back off, stay calm and no-nonsense, and spend the summer learning what makes YOUR child tick, so that you can parent him appropriately.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

Drop the references to it. It is only June. For a 5 year old that is a long time away yet. Wait until closer to school starting. Here, that is the first week of August... so I'd wait until at least mid-July before bringing it up again.

And be careful when you do, how you present it. If YOU display any anxiety about it (either in what you say or how you say it or your face or body language) he will pick up on it and it will increase his anxiety. Be matter of fact and not present it as a choice--because there isn't a choice, is there? (I mean, obviously there are choices, but this is what you have chosen and that isn't going to change, right?)

Be sure you attend any open house or walk-thru for the students/parents (and take him with you).

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

My opinion, give him a break from the conversation. Believe it or not, he will mature a little in the months prior to the start of school. Maybe he will come to you on his own time and strike a conversation about the new school.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Everyone is correct. Stop talking about it. Instead go hang around the school a little bit if you can. If he's taking the bus to school drive down and park where the bus will let him off. Walk around the school, play on the play ground, peek in the windows. Don't make a big deal out of it and talk about everything that will change when he goes there. Let him wonder which room he'll be in and what will be going on.

If the school has something where you can go inside and poke around then go to that so he'll see the lay out of things. But really he's just 1 kid out of many who will go there for the first time and he'll be fine. They deal with new kids every single year.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

For starters if you are projecting ANY anxiety about this verbal and/or non verbal he can pick up on that instantly.

Why do you feel the need to be discussing it so much right now? There's no need to be talking about it so much. Drop it for now. When it comes time for school supplies, let him be involved.

Make this an exciting adventure.... Not something to dread.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Santa Fe on

I agree to stop talking about it. When it gets closer to the start of school I would take him to go play at the school playground. Maybe bring one of his buddies who will also be starting kindergarten there. Casually mention this is the big kid school where you both will be going soon! Do they have a meet the teacher night? Most schools have an open house where the kids get to see the classroom and meet the teacher. He will be fine once he sees his room I bet. My son was anxious about kindergarten and then when we went to open house he said, mom, the room is just like my preschool room! Stop talking about it till right before open house/start of school.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

He'll be fine!
You are more anxious than he is and kids pick up on that.
School will be an unknown - don't expect him to get excited about it - he'll have to go and make up his own mind but he will find things about it that he will enjoy.
He's going to make friends and have a lot of fun in school.
At first any homework they might assign is fun and easy - puzzles and games really.
Just relax and enjoy the summer!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Amarillo on

Children do not see time as adults. So three months to you is like three years to him. Back off on mentioning the new school routine until a week or two before school starts. No need to make the summer more difficult.

This is the beginning of a long line of school years so let's make the transition as smooth as possible --- kindergarten, elementary, middle, high school and college. If you move you will have other changes added to the mix.

Good luck to the two of you.

the other S.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Geez quit discussing it. You are causing the problem. Will he be taking the bus? I would not mention anything until a couple of days before.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

A lot of kids get nervous about starting school. A suggestion that helped my son who was nervous about it...pick up some books about starting kindetgarten, such as "Kindergarten Rocks!" and let him prompt you to read them to him when he wants. Also, many schools in the area set up summer playdates for kids that will be starting kindergarten in the fall so that the kids get to know each other a little before school starts, which can help ease the transition. You can reach out to the PTA at your son's new school to find out about summer playdates and other suggestions they might have.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

If he's at kindercare, he already has a basic routine going where he's away from home. Ask the teachers at kindercare how they talk about the transition or handle it with the kids. Don't stress about it, because he will pick up YOUR nerves. Let him have a fun summer. He'll be fine. It may take some time to adjust but it'll work out. YOU need to relax about the transition - that will help him.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Houston on

Seriously? You need to chill.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

I'd stop pushing it on him. Is he one of those kids who can't accept change? Then I'd mention the week before school starts that school is starting in a few days and take him by the school so he can see the building. But really, he doesn't care.

1 mom found this helpful
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