Going Away Without Kids

I just saw this post and wanted to let you know that their is a "Little Critter" book by Mercer Mayer called Bye Bye Mom and Dad. If you've never read the critter books they are short, sweet and to the point and this is a cute one about Mom and Dad taking a trip with Grandmom and Grandpop coming to stay. You all might enjoy reading it to prepare them for the trip.

As a mom who has had to leave a child in the care of others for extended stays and also as a former substitute teacher, here are my thoughts. Write down everything you want the sitters to know including contact info for each other in case they have to reach one another. Write down the daily household schedule for the time you will be gone. If there is anything that absolutely isn't flexible note that. Otherwise let the schedule serve as a guideline for each day. Three young kids can be a handful, especially when you aren't with them everyday to work out a comfortable routine. Not to mention, the kids have different rapports with each of these sitters, the sitters have different ways of doing things, etc. As long as your children are safe and well cared for (fed, bathed, etc) that is what is important. Don't put too much pressure on the sitters to do things your way or do things other than care for your children's basic needs. If they are unscheduled it may take a day or two for you all to get back in your routine after you return, but you will make it work. You must trust the people you've chosen to watch your children, otherwise you wouldn't have, so relax and have a good time on your trip.

G.,
Have a great time in Aruba. It's beautiful there.
You're luckier than me--I can't get my son to stay overnight with his Grandma! LOL
If I were you, I would just make sure to write everything down in an organized way so that everyone knows what's supposed to be happening when at your house.

G.,
Aruba with your beloved for 6 days?!? Whahooo! Now: Relax. I know what you mean by being "very scheduled" (the only time I take off my watch is when I'm in the shower), but sometimes you've gotta do Adventure and Spontaneity. Will the house fall into ruins and kids go into anaphylactic shock if the sitter, aunt, or mom lets them stay up 'til midnight and eat cold pizza for breakfast? It'll be a fun adventure for EVERYONE. And for you? 6 days in Aruba?!? Wahoooooo! (Did I already day that?) Enjoy this--might be a once-in-a-lifetime trip, so do what you can to reeeeeaaaally enjoy it. You've chosen these adults to care for your children because you trust them--make sure they each have each other's phone #s, take your cell and vow to call only once a day (OK, maybe twice on the first day). And DON'T over-schedule your vacation--relax and let it flow. You'll find that you will all return to each other and your regular (scheduled) life with gratitude. Enjoy.
Best of luck,
L.

OK, maybe I've been watching too much Jon and Kate Plus 8, but I was thinking that it might be helpful to post schedules, info, reminders, etc. throughout the house in the places that the caretaker might need them: Daily schedule somewhere central, food info in the kitchen, diaper info at the changing table, bedtime routines in the bedrooms,etc. Now, if your kid's grandma/aunts are anything like mine, the schedule will get blown to heck, but at least it is there for them to refer to.

Your son isn't going to notice, but the girls will probably appreciate a little routine-- especially after a day or two.

I think you are very brave and smart for going- -we had a similar opportunity when my son was 6 months and I made my husband go with a friend because I was still nursing and couldn't imagine leaving my son (boy have I gotten over that!). Goodness knows when we'll get another chance, so you go girl!

G.,
Loosen up the kids will be fine Six days can t ruin what you taught them your whole life.

I'm a very scheduled person with my kids too and I can relate! I would sit down at the computer and write their schedules down to as much detail as you feel comfortable. That way, you know it's been written down and whoever is watching knows the schedules! Other than that, as long as you know they're safe that's what counts. They'll get back on their schedules when you get home!

Wow! First off, I'm glad you're going for it and taking time for your marriage. A lot of women just wouldn't go, but it is important!

2nd, I always say to Grandparents or babysitter, here are the guidelines, but as long as they're alive when I get home I can fix anything else.

If they get off schedule, or one thing or another isn't just right, you can fix it. It will be worth the time you get with your husband to spend a few days when you get home getting everything back to normal.

Have a good time, if the girls are up all night, the sitters are the ones that will have to deal with the consequences of not following your schedule and everyone will have a better appreciation for your job!

Have fun!

What a funny coincidence. I just had to respond. My husband and I just left our kids for six days while we went to Aruba as well. My kids are 3.5 and 19 months. All was fine when we got home. My kids are also routinized and I think while you are away keeping them on the same schedule they are accustomed to is key. Definitely type up their schedule, habits, activities that make them happy, etc and ensure your caregivers that the week will go a lot smoother if they follow it. Most of all relax and enjoy. As long as your kids are safe they will be fine. Have fun !

Hello G.! I am a mom of six and know all about worrying. But I would have to say you should just relax. I'm sure you have made the best choices concerning sitters, so enjoy your vacation and let your children enjoy theirs!! A switch up of routine is healthy sometimes. Enjoy your vacation!! And do your best to pit your worry away. It doesn't change things and it just weighs you down!

My advice? Relax and have fun! Your kids will be F.I.N.E.
They are going to have a vacation from their schedules and routines, too, and enjoy having fun with people who care about them and will bring variety to their week! In the whole scheme of things, it is ONLY 6 DAYS! You will get them right back on the routine and schedule as soon as you get back. From being a teacher, you also know that everyone needs a break from time to time, and it will do them good.

Enjoy your time alone with your husband, lay out in the sun, sleep in, take long naps, have wild, loud sex, take in the beauty all around you, eat and drink and be merry. The kids will miss you, but they will be completely fine. The time away will renew your enthusiasm for being a SAHM, and put a spark in your relationship with your husband, and be a memory together.

Tell your husband how much you are looking forward to the time alone with him instead of letting him see you fret over the children. Get excited! This is a good thing!

I am assuming your little one is bottle fed ? As long as the kids have good relationships with their aunt and grandparent, you should be fine, although juggling what is basically a newborn baby and the other two may be a bit challenging. . . .

Why not invite them to come over and see how your household runs ahead of time ? You can leave a list of what the kids like to eat, etc., and you can leave a written schedule of a "typical" day, but don't expect it to be followed . . . when someone else babysits your children, you have to expect that they will bring their own style to the position, and they will parent your children as they see fit. If you don't trust them to do that, or if you are personally tied to a very hard and fast schedule, then I recommend you stay home.

Children are very adaptable, and they learn that there are different rules when they are in different households. I have also learned that no matter which Grandparent (and I've dealt with 4 teams of them) I deal with, the grandparent is going to do what they want to do, what they think is best, and you can like it or lump it. It can be frustrating, but when you decide to leave your children with another adult, you cannot expect them to be you. They will be themselves, and they will build their own relationship with the kids. Hopefully they will try to stick to some semblance of your routine, for their own sanity, but if they don't, you will simply have to re-organize the family when you get home.

In terms of preparing . . . Why not write a picture book ? My sister-in-law did that for her kids when they were all going on a plane for the first time to visit great grandparents in FL whom they'd never met.

You can write the story, that Mommy and Daddy are going on a trip. They will be going to Aruba, and I'm sure you can get pix of that off the web. You can show you guys getting on the plane and flying away . . .

You can then write about their aunt staying with them, and their Grandparents doing the same, and how much fun they will have together. And then, after 6 days, who the plane again, and have the story end with big hugs when Mommy and Daddy came home, and how excited they were to have their children back again.

Give them simple information, but give them enough information, so your relatives can read the story to them while you are away, and you can read the story enough in advance, and regularly, so it will sink in. That way, even when they miss you, they will know, "Mommy and Daddy are coming back."

If there are things your children like to do -- is there a children's museum near you or a zoo ?? Those are things that they can do to make the time without you special for them. ??

Have a fun trip !

G.,
LEAVE . your mom and auntie know what to do ...
DO NOT CALL [ you will only upset the children] LET GRAMMY and AUNTIE do their job .. THEY WILL ENJOY IT ..
Leave all paper work in case of an emergency ; hospital, when to contact you, the dr. , and all allergies etc ..
other than that ...... leave the ' babysitters' alone or you may never get them to come back and help you in the future .
a grammy