Disappointment comes from not having your expectation met. But why is it YOUR expectation that is most important?
I believe in God, but more in the "higher power" sense. I am able to merge several differing philosophies and they all seem to make sense to me. My beliefs may differ a bit from yours. So, take this with a grain of salt.
I watched a documentary when I was in High School that touched me deeply. It had something to do with making sure that you prayed "the RIGHT prayer". This guy had done a prayer study with plants. He separated them into 3 categories (I'm 40 now, so I'm paraphrasing).
1. Control group. No prayers were said about these plants.
2. "Please help these plants grow big and healthy"
3. "I trust that what will happen to these plants is what is supposed to happen".
Group #3 plants flourished. These plants were noticeably larger, grew faster and had better color.
This was the group in which the "result" was left up to God / Higher Power / The Universe... whatever you believe in.
Group #1 plants grew at the rate a horticulturalist would expect. This was the group for which NO prayers were said.
Group #2 plants DID NOT GROW as well as expected. Noticeably smaller, some plants died.
Everything was the same for all three groups, except prayer. Temperature, amount of water, type of soil, type of plant etc. It was all the same except for the prayer.
The researchers intent was to prove that a specific prayer would yield positive results and the energy from multiple people praying the same prayer would impact how the plants grew. But that's not what happened. Why? Hmmmmm. It's because the prayers in Group #2 were SELFISH prayers. "let them grow big". "let us win the game" "let my child live". These are things we want. Things we think we need. BUT THEY ARE SELFISH. These prayers do not take into account the "bigger plan". They take into account OUR PLAN.
Let's stop talking about plants and cut to the chase. "Let my child live". Selfish? Surely not.
ABSOLUTELY. "Let my child live" is about what that parent wants. And OF COURSE that's what they want. Sometimes that is in direct conflict with the *plan* for the universe. "Let my child live" MAY NOT BE THE BEST COURSE OF ACTION..... in the larger picture. Hard to imagine, I know.
But that is where faith comes in. Faith is nothing more than impulse control of the mind and will over what we want. It's believing in our core that something IS or is right...... when it goes against logic.
If your faith wanes when things don't go your way..... that's not faith. That's selfishness.
And sometimes that's OK. Sometimes we have to throw a tantrum to get ourselves back on track. That's what makes us human.
Watch "What the Bleep Do We Know". It starts Marlee Matlin and basically has to do with quantum physics. It's similar to the *premise* of The Secret without all the Harry Potter mumbo-jumbo and convoluted double-circle speak.
Watch "The Adjustment Bureau" with Matt Damon and Emily Blunt.
Both deal with plans that are larger than *us* and what impacts things beyond what we can *believe* and *control*.
However..... I also like the joke about the man who lives in an area devastated by a flood. He drags himself and his family to the rooftop and prays to God to save him.
A boat comes along....
"Hop in" the captain says.
"Nope.... God will save me" the man says.
The boat floats away.... to save others.
The man continues to pray to God to save him. He believes God will save him.
A helicopter comes along....
"Catch the rope" the pilot calls down.
"Nope.... God will save me" the man says.
The helicopter flies away.... to save others.
Eventually the man and his family die. As he is dying he has one more conversation with God. "God... You ignored my prayers. I prayed for you to come and save me. You didn't save me. I have been faithful. I am a follower. Why did you not come save me?." He is angry with God.
God answers "what do you mean I ignored your prayers?" God asks. "I sent you a boat and helicopter" God says. "I answered your prayers. You didn't want to accept my help, because it wasn't in the form you expected".
I wish you luck and peace on whatever journey you are taking.