Girls Growing Too Fast...

Updated on October 11, 2011
L.C. asks from Chicago, IL
36 answers

I was shopping in target today. Looking for tights & panties with my baby we stumble upon bras. Simple cute small bras w/ hello kitty. To my surprise they are for sizes xs 4/5 & s 6.Even more shocking my 4.5 year asked me for one. She said she wanted to play dress up and wear the bra.Luckily for me i was able to distract her with Smurf panties that saved the day and we walked away unscathed. So what do you ladies think of this? Playing dress up with bras? I was surprised that they are made in sizes for my daughter's age. Im interested if anyone thinks its ok and why do you feel they are? I obviously know the reasons why mom's would not allow it, interested in hearing the other side.
I'm divided. Part of me just says its a bra & the other side says shelter her and keep her a baby! ;P

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E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Yeah...I get the whole wanting to be like Mommy thing. But I don't think that is why Target is selling them. And that is what I find gross.
And even more gross-why are most of the bras in the little girl section padded???

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I had a Betty Boop themed bra and panty set, from Kmart, probably circa 1974/1975. I was about seven years old.
It's nothing new. Little girls love to play dress up/be like mommy. Once I stopped playing with baby dolls I also lost interest in being "like mommy."
It's just a phase, and a phase you may actually miss some day believe it or not :(

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

my daughters wear them under their clothes especially when they are wearing thin shirts or tanks...my 7yr old especially always wants something under her tanks because when she moves she doesnt want anyone to see her "privates" lol (because sometimes the shirts kinda gap) its more just because we have taught her that is a private area so she is very conservative about being covered & in the summer its too hot to wear a full undershirt...honestly I dont see the problem, I would rather my girls feel comfortable wearing them, & comfortable talking to me about what they would like to wear & why than to feel like I didnt want them to grow up & not want to talk about it

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

They've been around for generations... they just usually don't have hook and eye closure, but are knit and pull on. After the corset fell out of favor a slightly longer than todays "sports bra" types came in to replace them (little girls wore corsets, or laceup mock corsets). Then around turn of the century girls wore a full tanktop under their shirts. Come the fabric shortage and depression the length got shorter, and they fell out of vogue until the 40's when it was split 50/50 with full length camisoles under shirts, or half length "bras" (what WE are considering bras in the wake of Abercrombie), When women started burning bras, mom's pulled off the underthings for their daughters, as well. Since then they've only been common in certain regions, religions, and ethnic groups.

In the past 10 years or so they've made a BIG comeback, although they've *always* been on the market... but worn without overshirts. As always, some are lace lined longer versions (like tanktops), and others are chest only versions. With both versions, girls wore them without anything on top (similar to how bloomers became the shorts we all wear around in public). In HOT climates, they were super useful, because while boys could run around without their shirts on in the past 20 years girls *have not* been allowed to. Not even toddlers. So they've worked as a "modesty" coverup for girls.

Enter Britany Spears, and what HAD been modest, suddenly becomes risque. Enter irate moms, and all of a sudden overshirts (which had been gone for a whole generation) FLY back into fashion.

Because girls are wearing shirts over them, certain companies decide to make them more like adult bras or training bras.

But yeah... they've been around since corsets started leaving the scene in the end on the 19th century.

9 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

my daughter asked for one too (shes 4 1/2). i got her a 3 pk of a size 28. i allow her to wear them around the house or to bed when its hot. i dont see the big deal. all they are doing is mimicking what we do. its no different then a little boy wanting boxers like daddy. also might i add there are huge gaps in her want to wear them. she just likes having them. my daughter is a typical 4 year old and is not sexuallized at all. i think with all the hype about how to raise our children we over look simple innocent things. if my daughter is anything like me she will need a real bra by the age of 9.

7 moms found this helpful

A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

I don't know, I don't see a problem with it. She sees you wearing one, and they make all kinds of different toys and what-not for kids to pretend being grown ups. My son is almost 3 and he wears boxer-briefs because he wanted to wear the same underwear that daddy wears. I don't think it means he's growing up too fast. And I don't think little girls wanting to wear underwear like their mom's means they're growing up too fast either :) Just my opinion

P.S--they are not a new thing, I remember having a little sports bra when i was probably about your daughters' age and my mom said she's always worn one as underwear since she was a toddler.

5 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Redding on

I have a cute pic of me in a bra and panty set my grandmother got me when I was about 4. I think it's just a "feminine" thing... and makes little girls able to ape Mommy a little bit more. You KNOW they arent all that comfortable so it's definitely just a little fashion novelty that a little one outgrows very quickly.

3 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

A kid-sized bra makes for easier dress-up than red lipstick, no?

My 9 year old is kind of starting to look like we might need to buy her a bra soon, which makes me cringe a little inside. Girls seem to be developing earlier and earlier! What the heck?

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R.B.

answers from Chicago on

I won't be getting a bra for my daughter until she actually starts to develop something to put in the bra. Nor will my son be getting boxers any time in the near future (or as long as I'm buying his underthings!). However, if the idea behind the bra is to have something to go under a thin shirt, I'll get her undershirts. I remember wearing undershirts as a kid before I was ready for a bra and that seems like a good idea still! Even when I did start wearing a bra, it was a sport bra (since let's face it, gals, there's not much there to support at the beginning! Plus, I played sports every day.)

Let's keep our kids at the right age development...no need to reinforce growing up too early.

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would NEVER let my 4/5/6 YO wear a bra... and don't even get me started on the whole sexualization of our youth, but in thinking about your question, maybe the fact that a lot of children are so much heavier at such a younger age (not to mention all the hormones in the milk/chicken today!) that 'bras' are needed at a younger age?? Chubby girls can tend to look like they have 'boobies' even though they are not real breasts.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Would have never happened in this house. What is the big rush for our
little girls to grow up. Look at the clothes out there. When I buy clothes
for my granddaughter, I really have to search for your classic clothes.
The only things out there are what I call "slut" clothes. So sad. Why is
there such a push for everything to happen so fast. I just do not understand.

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hello Hulagirl,

I am all about keeping my little girl a little girl as long as she actually is one! My daughter will be six in a couple of months and, although I have witnessed her trying on mommy's bras from time to time (all the while giggling and saying, "look, I'm mommy!"), she has never (yet) expressed an interest in having one of her own - phew!!!!! I have, however, witnessed my niece, at age 8, demanding that she need a bra of her own (she had not begun to develop at that time) and she did get one. It churned my stomach because it was just so so sad to me that she had this desire to grow up, in my opinion, too quickly. I realize "it's just a bra," but it is the idea behind it that bothers me. I do not have any sort of explanation or good reason to feel this way - I just do. I am sickened by the stores who sell THONGS to five year olds! Really? "Sexy" at five? Well - there is my two cents! Good luck to all mothers with little girls - I feel it is my job to shelter my child the best I can - it's a constant battle between us (me) and the media/advertisements!

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My oldest started wearing sports bras in 3rd grade. I thought it was great that she wanted to. I remember being extremely embarrassed by the fact that I needed a bra in 7th grade. Making the transition from sports bra to a real bra was completely uneventful which I think is preferable to being embarrassed by your growing body.
My 8yo daughter is involved in theatre so she frequently will have costume changes during performances. She is very modest so if she wants a bra I will get it for her. Often times she wears a bikini top or an undershirt depending on the costume.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Geez! I don't like it. We're forcing out kids to grow up too fast as it is.

When my daughter, in 1-4th grade, wanted something that I thought was too old for her, such as certain music, I told her that I wanted her to be a little girl as long as possible and gave her a hug. She didn't have to grow up so fast. She accepted it at the time and says the same to her daughter, who also seems to understand.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

My neice has a few sets. She just turned 5. She wears them as Pjs and simply because she likes to dress like her mom. I wore them when I was little, but then they were called underoos. :)

3 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I don't know if I would allow it or not, neither of my daughters ever asked. Having said that they had bras that small when I was a little girl, when my 21 year old daughter was a little girl and they are still around now. I suppose I do need to get a bra or two for my ten year old daughter.

If they had asked I would have allowed it. Clothing doesn't change the person. If it does you have far more serious issues than a bra on a five year old.

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

I know two different girls that needed bras at an early age. One was a daughter of my good friend. She had lukemia as a child and her hormones were out of wack and she developed way too early (age 8). I really don't think that these bras are out there for playing dress up. I have seen girls that go to school with my daughter and little girls that are in the mall that should not be wearing t-shirts without an undershirt or a bra, and yet they do. Are these moms more worried about not putting a bra on their young daughters than they are about the way the look without one? Don't know. Some of that has to do with kids being overweight, other times it's due to medical conditions. When we were young (I did not develop early) we wore undershirts under many of our tops (especially our school uniform blouses) even if there was nothing to see. My daughters would never ask for a bra (I don't think) and if they did, I would tell them that they are for girls that have to wear them, and when it's time, they too will wear one.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

I think manufacturers definitely want our girls to grow up too fast. I did not buy my daughter a bra until she actually needed one. She did ask me for one when she was potty training though. I kept telling her that if she used the potty she wouldn't have to wear diapers anymore & could wear underwear like me. She then asked if she could get a bra too! It may be that your daughter just asked because she knows that you wear them, not because she truly has been thinking about wanting a bra. When my daughter asked, I told her that she could wear bras when she got older & she never mentioned it again. Unless your daughter sees other girls her age wearing them, I bet she will forget about it too. Enjoy her being young while you can - the time sure does go fast!

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A.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

This is what i love about this site... my intial reaction was heck no! and WHHHHYYY????
But reading the responses people are right... what is the difference between little girls wanting to me like mommy and boys wearing boxers like daddy?

3 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Eh, why not? It's just for dress up play, they can't be more than a few dollars, and no one is even gonna know besides your family.

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V.M.

answers from Cleveland on

my sil switched my niece to organic milk because she was worried about any hormones passing through the cows would cause my neice to "develop" early. Ironicly her boys still drink reg non organic milk.

I don't remember them having bras that size when i was little. we wore Undershirts that had a little bow and some lace. It was more for warmth.

Honestly I've seen such chunky kindergarten and first grade kids that actually could have used a bra maybe there is a market for it.

Personally I woudl also stear my daughter from them.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My daughter is 8, she has never wanted to wear a bra.
She was curious about it, because her 11 year old cousin wears one.
But she knows she herself does not have breasts yet nor needs one for now.

Those "sports bra" type things for young girls, are often used as layering pieces under their clothing... if perhaps it is thin or see through.
I see a lot of girls, wearing thin t-shirts and nothing underneath... thinking the Mom should have them wear a tank or something, under their thin fabric t-shirt.

have NO idea why.... bras are made for size "XS" or sizes 4/5 or 6, Kindergarten age girls. Because you know, they don't have breasts yet.
So it is fashion marketing.
Or, perhaps it is for, lanky/thin Tween/Teen girls. But wouldn't they just size the bra, accordingly? For that specific age for Tweens/Teens.

If my daughter told me, she wanted to wear a bra and she was only 5 years old, I would have told her, no.
My Husband would have had a cow, with that notion too.
She does not 'need' one. And I am not going to spend money on buying a bra for a 5 year old, just to play dress up pretend play.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

my daughter is tiny, 12%. and just might have to wear one that small when she starts developing.
And why not want to wear a bra under her dress up clothes , mommy wears one , she wants to be like mommy.

2 moms found this helpful

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know my kid tries to put on my bra because she see's me getting dressed. She's 2.5. I'm not sure if I would buy her a bra at size 4/6, but I know some wear them. My friends ten year old wore that size when she was 8/9 (she's very petite). She has them because if she didn't her nipples would show through a white shirt. She didn't want to wear the sports bra's and a cami didn't really cover it, so my friend just got her the cutesy ones.
From another stand point, I did have to wear a bra young. I started developing in the first grade (by the beginning of seventh grade I was a DD). My mom didn't want me bouncing around at recess and in PE in front of everyone. So I had no choice, and thankfully they did have smaller bra's.
I think if my daughter wanted one I would buy her one for dress up. My thinking is...is she wants to play thats fine, and when she actually NEEDS to wear one she will know about them and not be awkward with it. My younger cousin flat out refused and was terribly embarrassed about the whole situation. My aunt had me talk to her about bra's (my aunt was at a loss), luckily she got over it...with a little persistence. =)

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K.J.

answers from Springfield on

I don't like the idea of real bras, however I don't mind bras that are more "sports bra" in style. My 8 year old has some of those that she wears from time to time. She uses them more like undershirts though, when a shirt is thin or light colored and she wants something underneath. She also has actual undershirts she wears also. I have to say though, that my daughter has a few friends that could probably benefit from a bra/sports bra. They are girls that are more on the chubby side and they have the early signs of breasts that show through their shirts. If they were my daughters I would have them wear undershirts, sports bras, or something.

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

Honestly, unless she has breasts or is beginning to get breasts, a girl does need a bra which is a "foundation garment" used to provide support for a woman's breasts.
A little girl, should be wearing a t-shirt of "cami" as an undergarment.
I know exactly what you are talking about - all the tiny bras - even padded - in the girls section.
I provide all of my god daughters school supplies, clothes etc. She is 10 and she is beginning to develop. I keep trying to deny it, but all summer I had to tell her to go back in the house and put on a cami because her little, summer tops were letting her budding womanhood show through. So this year at our annual Target visit we visited the little bra section. She was excited and wanted one of the padded numbers that looked like some kind of bubble gum victorias secret kind of thing. We purchase 2 plain cotton trainers and two with little design.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter who just turned 6 has asked for one. They want to be like their Mommies. Of course, I said she doesn't need one and we'll take her shopping when she is ready. I think it's normal - it's there in with all the other stuff their size and they see us in them.

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T.G.

answers from Rockford on

My girls are 5 and 7 and are chomping at the bit to get bras. I have told them that bras don't come in their sizes and they will have to wait. I guess they do. I did just recently get the older one some more feminine looking camis. She was happy with that compromise. She doesn't even think to wear them every day.

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M.K.

answers from Las Vegas on

I don't think you are keeping "her a baby" by deciding what is appropriate at her current age. You will probably be having these same issues for the next 13 years. I think considering both sides is the responsible thing to do so kudos to you. Personally I'm in the "wouldn't allow it" group unless she was overweight and needed the extra coverage but some of the mom's are making valid points.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My 7 yr. old has several from hand me downs and I let her wear them. I told her she didn't need them for anything yet and they are not fashion but must be kept covered up, they are private and not for anyone to see or notice. She does gymnastics and dance plus other sports so she has some sports bras to wear under stuff that I think needs a bit of help. Like a sleeveless tee that has the big arm holes...she can wear it over a leo or over a sports bra and then shorts on bottom.

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J.G.

answers from Rockford on

I personally don't have an issue with it. To me, it is just a form of playing dress up to be like a grown up, and that is something they associate with being "all grown up". Personally I HAD to wear a bra by the time I was 9. I have always been a bit chesty. As in, I was a full C to a D by the time I was 14. I joke with people that secretly I was born with cleavage. That being said, bras have never been a big deal for me, more like a fact of life.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

It's just a bra. Little girls want to wear what their mommies wear. When my daughter was little, she would put on my bras.

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

I have a niece who needed one in 2nd grade(7) as she started developing abnormally early. She did not get a padded one more like a sports bra. I wish my Mom had not fought against it so much because I wouldn't have been embarrassed my whole life about my 5th grade picture that shows 2 very obvious round circles.

Kids also want to be like Mom and Dad or older siblings so remember this when you and the siblings are being role models and how much they want to do everything you do.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I don't think bra's should be for play, but let me tell you, Abercrombie has padded/pushup bras for pre-teens. My daughter started wearing a sports bra at 10, when she started middle school and they changed for gym. For those who think little girls want fancy bras to be like mommy, I'm sorry but you're kidding yourselves. They want them to be like Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Miranda Cosgrove and all the other stars of the Disney shows that portray high schoolers that you let them watch. This is why little girls are growing up fast, wanting bras, makeup, low rise jeans, etc when they are just in elementary school. My 16 year old does not wear padded or pushups.

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

I have never seen them that small, but my daughter just turned 12 and last year needed to get a bra cause she had small "anthills" as we used to call them when I was that age. Enough to see through a shirt, but not any cut size, lol. She has to wear a padded bra to cover those. And she may be 12 but she only weighs 58 lbs. SO she has to wear a 30AA. She could easily fit in that small of a bra, but would never wear Hello Kitty, lol. But there are kids in 3rd and 4th grade that need bras that would. yes, they NEED them. Now granted the ones developing that early are usually um, bigger in all ways, so that size wouldn't fit them, but they do need them.

So, perhaps you just have never known a super skinny small kid. My 12 yr old wores 24 mos old pants as capris/shorts up until last year - that's how tiny she is.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Ha ha ha... I've just spent the last 10 minutes scouring the web for pictures of this infamous bra! I couldnt find something at Target but did see something that looked right at the Walmart site - one is a triangle bra, and the other is some sort of little short tanktop bra.

My daughter is only one, but I dont really see a big scandal with these items. They look like an alternative to an underwear cami or tank top.

They are NOT padded bras like the ones at Abercombie. Gross.

I am not crazy though about little girls growing up too fast and am not crazy about a 4 year old wearing something called a "bra." I guess if it were my child I steer her towards the smurf panties too....

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