Gifting "Requirements?" Is This Needed?

Of this list I think the only "required" gifts are the Dad and best friend. A very fun craft we did for Dad last year was making a stepping stone for him. We put the date, "Happy Father's Day" and I made an imprint of my kids' feet in it. The whole thing cost under $20 at Michaels. Lots of other fun crafts to as well for not much money. Or just cook him a feast and give him the remote and a foot rub. For the best friend there are many inexpensive gifts for kids - it doesn't have to be extravagant. And if she's older $10 in a card is always fun for a kid to spend!

Here are my thoughts:

1. No
2. No
3. Yes, but it can be homemade and meaningful, rather than expensive
4. Not necessary, but something small (even a $25 gift card to somewhere she registered) would be a nice token of appreciation
5. Yes

.

Hello!

My thoughts are 1) no 2) no 3) make something - it'll be awesome and forever cherished 4) no (though it would be very nice to pick up something small, even just cute appetizer picks or something like that) and 5) I'd get her something or offer to take her to ice cream given the tight relationship they share.

You don't need to say anything or make an excuse for not giving a gift. And the graduation is from 5th grade not high school or college where a gift is appropriate - a card will do the trick. Everyone has a tight budget right now...I doubt anyone will think twice about not receiving a gift from your family.

Best,
T.

Hi Susan,

1) A friend's 5 year old son had a Birthday party, we could not attend. We did not go. Do we have to still get him a birthday gift?
No, may want to consider inviting him over to play instead.

2) A friend's son, is "graduating" from 5th grade. The school has a Graduation ceremony for it at school. She asked if I am going. I told her it depends on my son... it is a long thing and I don't know if my son can wait through all that, outdoors, in the hot sun. If I don't go, do I still need to get him a 'grad gift?"
No.. Maybe a congratulations card instead..

3) Father's Day- well of course me/the kids will get him/my Hubby something. Yes, and all of your attention all day long.. !!!

4) My daughter's tutor, that she has been seeing for about a month, is getting married in July. We are not invited, but do we still have to get her a wedding gift, since we 'know' she is getting married and she tutors my daughter??? Yes, but not a frame, scrapbook or photo album.. They are over gifted all of the time.. How about a $12. to $15. bottle of champagne (sparkling wine) I use a gold pen to write a message on the bottle..

5) In June is my daughter's friend's Birthday... her best friend, they are not having a 'party' due to budget... but I guess we will get a gift for her, since she is my daughter's best friend.

Yes!Invite the girl over for a sleep over and dedicate the dinner to the girl.. Sing happy Bday over cupcakes you and your daughter have baked..
Or, how about taking the girls to a movie with ice cream after wards to discuss the movie.. let her know it is her Bday gift, but a bigger gift you and your daughter since they get to spend it with her.. Take a photo of them that day and send a copy to her l via email.. they can print it or they can use it as a screen saver..

To be fair, I'm one of those people who really doesn't think about buying gifts very often. Some might think I'm rude or inconsiderate I suppose but honestly it just doesn't occur to me to buy a gift unless it's something obvious like going to a wedding or a birthday party, etc. That being said, I would not buy a gift for anything except Father's day from your list. And if your budget is tight (I'm sure your husband would understand) I would go with homemade gifts/favors/gestures that you all can do for him on Father's Day without spending money.

Good luck,
K.

1-no, a card is adequate to recognize the event...maybe a five dollar bill?

2-hell no...even if you go to the party...what is up with all the "graduations" these days?

3-of course

4-no, a card recognizing the event is perfectly appropriate...she is a "business" contact not a friend

5-best friend? something would be appropriate...maybe taking them out for lunch together or to a movie instead of a gift

Friends don't EXPECT gifts.

1- no
2- no
3- yes!
4- maybe, I would probably give them a flower pot with a plant started in it. You know, "growing" with marriage? Or something?
5- Why not treat the girls to a sleep over with pizza, a cheap movie rental and some new nail polish? Of course, if they are old enough.

#1 -no, you didn't go, and it's a little bit of a slippery slope, but for a child's birthday you did not attend -I wouldn't worry about it.

#2 No -not only would I not go, but I wouldn't think of getting a 5th grader a gift for "graduating" into middle school. High school or college -yes, but not now -especially since it seems that no formal invitations were sent.

#3 YES -but it can be something inexpensive and heart felt like a mug or mouse pad or something he would like from Shutterfly or a handprint and picture frame or something from a paint your own pottery place -maybe throw in a few "adult" treats you know he likes that aren't expensive...

#4 NO -you're not invited, you haven't known her long -a simple "Congratulations!" is all that's called for. You can get her a card if you really want to.

#5 It would be nice since they are best friends, but again, it doesn't have to be expensive! Target has had these awesome craft sets lately -one is the mosaic handprint stepping stone kit and one is a paint-your-own birdhouse kit for $10! Lite Brite has also come out again in a smaller size from our childhoods, and costs $10. There are even lots of Barbies and Disney princess things out there in the $15 or less category.

Don't sweat it! I'm a big believer in giving gifts when appropriate, but not for everything or newly made-up things (like 5th grade graduation! -that's definitely just gifts from mom and dad and maybe the grandparents if anybody).

#1, #2 and #4 do not require a gift. If you bought a gift for every party your child was invited to but didn't attend, you'd be broke!!!!

As far as #4, maybe a nice card for your daughters tutor, but definitly not a gift.

As far as #5. If this child and your daughter have been best friends for years and your families talk on a regular basis, then you may want to get a small gift or stick money in a card. Nothing elaborate.

You do not need to explain why you are not sending a gift. If someone is rude enough to ask, then you might want to tell them.

As far as I have ever been concerned, no gifts are EVER required. There are occassions we normally gift for, but a gift is a gesture and when things are tight, family always comes first.

Your children and immediate family are priorities, being reasonable on a tight budget. If your husband doesn't mind, do something small, homemade, or cheap for Father's Day. I would rather meet my family's needs than have a gift myself.

Do not give gifts for something you are not invited to if you cannot afford to do so. So many people came to my wedding who did not send gifts, and many (most, in fact) who were invited and did not come did not even send cards. Cards are a polite gesture, and courteous people will have no other expectations.

We had many friends in college whose gift to us was to be able to come to our wedding. You can adjust your gifting because of your finances and should not have to justify yourself. If you are close to these friends, you could always say in a neutral situation, "I wish I could offer so-and-so a gift, but things are so rough for everyone right now." I have done that because of holidays we could not give general gifts for (just immediate family and our kids) or friends' children's birthdays, etc. If there is no money for it, there is no money for it. Your family's needs are more important, and your children can always make something homemade.

My favorite wedding card was from some of our friends who were newly married, recent grads. It was homemade and adorable and totally reflected their personalities. The back "made by" company name was something like, "Feed the starving college graduates company." Cute, clever, and we were just excited they could come.

I would say no to 1, 2, and 4 and no explanation required, its better not to say you can't afford it because I don't think its expected anyway, if your not going to a b-day or graduation I don't think a gift is needed unless its really close friends or family. I also don't see a point in getting the tutor a gift just because she's your tutor and getting married, there is no obligation especially since you're not going to the wedding. # 3 is obvious and #5 would be a nice gesture to get a gift.

Don't underestimate the power of a nice card. For almost all of these events/occasions a nice card would do just fine. Be sure to write a personal note (not just sign the one Hallmark writes) and you should be set.

For the best friend, she'd probably love a card with cash inside ($1 per year of age) and it'll probably come out less expensive than actually buying her a gift.

HTH
T.

1) no
2) Heck no!
3)Yes, but it can be just a nice handmade cards from the kids.
4)Nope!
5) nope again! If you want to do something nice for her, maybe you can have a slumber party or take the kids to do something nice. I'm sure her parents will understand since it sounds like they're in the same boat.

The reality of life is that we can't afford to buy stuff for people all the time. It's life. If you buy gifts for every single person for every single thing, you'll go broke! I have 15 nieces and nephews. I can't afford to buy gifts for all of them on their birthdays. My rule is, if you have a party, you get a gift. I don't ever spend more than $10.00. My kids aren't old enough to have real friends yet, so at least I don't have that worry!
I would think that your friends would understand. I mean, who honestly expects gifts for a 5th grade graduation?

My thoughts:

1- If these are people you have or a establishing a friendship with : a card (if you're feeling perky a $1 bag of water balloons with it, or a $2 Icecream gift cert.) The parents will like the card, and very few 5year olds aren't impressed by ice cream :) But both are above and beyond. If this is just a classmate that she's not close to... nada is really necessary.

2- a card (this is for your friend's benefit... the child will likely not care one way or another... I mean, c'mon. 5th grade. LOL...Maybe I'm just cynical ;) Personally I'm more apt to send a condolance card when they get their permit than to celebrate not being held back a year.

3- Yup. <grinning> but you knew that.

4- Card... or maybe a Bride T if you have one in your line? Honestly, I'd do whichever is less expensive. But like #1 it's above and beyond. Just because I know someone's getting married doesn't obligate me imo.

5- Yup... but this one is actually one you can get creative over. How about taking the girls out to a movie? Or having a sleepover & cupcakes that the girls can decorate? Or if too young for sleepovers... a "piquito sleepover"? (aka parent's night out). Tent in the living room with movies type? Tyedying their own teeshirts?

R

Edit:

I'm a big fan of not spending $4-15 on hallmark. As in watercolor paper & some paint. They're cherished by people... only take me a few minutes... and are from supplies I already have on hand.

1. No
2. No, a card is perfectly fine if you feel obligated, but really not necessary
3. Yes, but this can be creative too, like making a special breakfast or doing a chore for him that he usually does. Rent a movie and make a bunch of dad's favorite snacks.
4. Yes, but since you weren't formally invited, you don't need a formal wedding gift (like something off the registry). I like the bottle of champagne idea (there are perfectly nice sparkling wines around $10). Think "hostess gift" and you'll probably be on the right track.
5. Yes, and again, something creative or inexpensive is totally fine. The Target $1 bins often have fun little things, or some fun jewelry from Claire's or Limited Too. Your daughter probably has some ideas for this one. Give her a budget and let her pick something out that she thinks her friend will like.

Here's what I would do:
1. Card with McDonald's ($5) gift card.
2. Ditto above
3. your call
4. Card & Small, meaningful gift ($10-20) from BBBeyond or wherever (with a gift receipt, of course!)
5. Yes..gift or gift card

You can do all of the above (minus Father's Day) for about fifty bucks.
Go to dollar store/discount store for cards & bags & tissue paper.

My thoughts!

#1. no
#2.no if you do not go, if you go a nice card is fine.
#3.something to show you care, not expensive
#4.no
#5. does your daughter have allowance? she can get a small gift.

Your not rude at all, if you can not afford these things then do not do it. If your crafty your lucky. I am not and I do not buy gifts for all occasions as we are on a tight budget. The only one I would consider is your daughters best friend. Even for that you can bake her favorite desert.

Good luck!

Yes to gift for fathers day (if husband does for you on mothers day otherwise let the kids pick out something and be done with that one)

no to
5 yr old friend, tuter, 5th grade graduation

yes with qualifications for daughters best friend. if your daughter wants to get this friend a gift she should do it out of her own money.