Gift Ettiquitte for Twins

Updated on October 22, 2009
L.S. asks from Phoenix, AZ
21 answers

Hi all,

My son has been invited to a birthday party for some girl twins in his class. They'll be turning 5. They are fraternal twins and very different in terms of appearances and temperament.

My question is, for those parents of twins specifically, how do we handle the gifts? Should we buy 2 of the same things? 2 entirely different gifts? or combine the money we would have spent for one gift they can share? What do ya'll think would be the best option? Any ideas would be appreciated!

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone! Yeah, I thought a joint gift wouldn't be such a good idea, but just wanted to see what others thought as well. I will definitely get them each a gift. Now I have to figure out what to give. I really appreciate everyone's insight on this.

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

I'm not a twin and I don't have twins, but the twins that I do know have always complained that growing up they got one present to share. I couldn't imagine if my sister and I had to share a birthday and share one present. I would get one for each girl. You can get them similar gifts, but different. Ex: different barbies or different each a different my little pony. I know a lot of people have suggested movies, so buy two different movies. The most important thing to the girls at such a young age is to have a present to open and something to call their own.

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V.A.

answers from Dallas on

from a mom of 18 yr old twin boys...ALWAYS, ALWAYS get a separate gift for each twin. How well do you know these twins? Believe me, I know twins can have very different interests. Customize the gift if possible. But each twin needs a gift. They are 2 separate people-even conjoined twins are. Therefore, separate gifts are necessary.

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A.A.

answers from Dallas on

I have twins, but never thought about this question. I guess I would say either option is fine. My first thought is to buy a DVD or a board game, or bedtime story books. These things could be shared (and less the mom would have to find room for...lol)

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A.

answers from Tallahassee on

Do not share the gift. Give each one gift specific to them if you can 'cuz obviously they have individual tastes. The best is if you can find gifts that are similar to each other, but different say like a My Little Pony (pink for 1, blue for the other) or games (trouble for 1, chomp for the other) or a jewelry craft (bracelet for 1, necklace for the other).

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B.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I agree--I have triplets and it's always so nice if there are three gifts. Multiples are often forced to share everything. But everyone wants to be the special person on their birthday. I think it's nice to view parties for multiples as seperate parties. Each birthday child should have the opportunity to open a gift and express his/her appreciation.

On the flip side, when we are invited to parties, we always take three gifts--one from each of the triplets.

www.thosecrazybeans.blogspot.com

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

As a mom of twins I would say separate gifts for sure. If you know them well enough to get specific on the gift even better. How about a gift card for each in a small amount?

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

I'd definitely do 2 gifts. All of my friends who have twins give & receive 2 gifts when they have/go to parties except 1. The 1 friend who doesn't want to receive multiple gifts for her boys will actually only put one name on the invitation so the guest knows which twin they're buying for. And then she keeps track to make sure each will have the same quantity of gifts (and always has a spare gift just in case it's not equal). But even still, she either sends 2 gifts when her twins go to parties or if it's a close friend, she'll buy a larger gift from the two of them.

As fas as what to get, I always like to check with the mom for ideas. Esp. at this younger age, many parents do or don't want their child to have certain characters (Hannah Montana & Spongebob seem to be the controversial ones for whatever reason - some moms are totally fine with it, some are not). It makes it easier for me to shop if I have a couple of ideas of what the children are interested in.

HTH!

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi,
I have fraternal twins that are 7 years old, and we always appreciate different gifts so we can share. I will say gift cards to Wal-Mart or Target are always a great option, and then you don't have to worry about the choices. If the twins are different personalities, then most likely, they life different things.
L.

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R.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L.

I am a mom of triplet girls and this has been an issue I have discussed with my husband. We have decided that when it gets to the inviting friends birthday that each girl will be able to invite 3 or 4 friends and the invite will come from them...so we would expect for the parent to buy just for that child to make that child feel special. Now again this is how I handle it..

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E.T.

answers from Dallas on

Last year, I bought two different game-type toys for twin boys we know. Each boy opened a game, but the purpose is that they play them together. Mom liked that a lot!

1 mom found this helpful

G.W.

answers from Dallas on

I agree perfectly with the other two so far....My twin boys just turned four over the summer and recieved several gifts that were identical like huge water guns and Star Wars light sabers then they received the almost but a little different like games and cars. I know it's a pain to buy two gifts but just spend less on each one. Believe me, you will be saving the parents major headaches later and they will love you for it! :-)

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H.G.

answers from Dallas on

I have twin boys, and our friends always buy two gifts. I prefer that they be different. Don't feel like you have to spend a fortune, as we realize that its a double buy.

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K.F.

answers from Dallas on

It looks like you've gotten some really good advice so far, but I thought I'd still throw in my perspective . . . I'm not a parent of a twin, but a twin myself. My sister and I are identical in looks but totally different in personality and it drove us nuts to be lumped together when we were growing up. We had to share EVERYTHING and had very little we could call our own (we didn't mind sharing OUR things so much as not having anything that was specifically ours). I think it would be totally appropriate to even check with their parents to get ideas and see how they would like it handled, and even see if they can suggest a preference for each girl. Just because you get one a Little Pony doesn't mean the other one has to have one, too, unless that's what they really want (no offense to the poster that suggested that, for some twins that would work). Good luck, HTH!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L.. I give manners advice to parents for a living, and this is a question I have never had before, but a great one. I would say if this is a financial decision, I would split the money that you would typically spend on each, and get them separate gifts. You could even go to a dollar store, and fill a gift bag up with stickers, little toys, etc... Have your child help pick out all of the items (if he or she is old enough), and that would be a great gift. I hope this answer helps. Would you mind if I put it in my weekly column in Dallas? I do not have to use your name if you do not want me to. Thank you. E. McVeigh

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

As a twin allow me to respond. There are TWO CHILDREN, just because they share a birthday doesn't mean you only
bring one a gift or you bring one gift to share. Each
child needs their own gift! Many times we received the same thing for each of us, which is fine. Depending on what the gift is, you might buy one in one color and the other in another so they can tell them apart. BUT YOU NEED TO BUY EACH CHILD A GIFT!

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J.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hey L.!

I have one year old twin boys and would get them each something different. Of course my guys are only one but that is 2 new things for each of them to share and play with. Their personalities are already so different they pick different toys to play with at different times. I don't think the combined gift would be a good idea either. I would just act like its 2 girls who happen to have the same birthdate.
Hope that helps!
J.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I don't have twins but have attened parties for twins. I think that either way is acceptable. If you got them a movie that was for both, that would work, assuming they both like that type of movie (meaning if you got High School Musical and one loves it and the other hates High School Musical, then it's not a good dual gift). We have usually gotten 2 gifts b/c if we went to two separate parties, we would have brought gifts to each child. In fact, the twins that my son is friends with usually bring a gift to my son, one from each of the twins...I don't know if I'd go that far, but I usually treat it like I was going to 2 parties. No reason to do a dual gift unless it's something they would both enjoy and maybe a bit more money like a Wii game or something.

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hello,
I have 3 year old twin girls and they hate to have to share their toys with each other. In addition, at this age, they always want what the other has. So, I have to say...give the same gift.

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V.D.

answers from Dallas on

I'm a twin. We always fought if we had different gifts. Buy two of the same thing.

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

I would get the same item but in different colors or types. As in types: the playdoh set in the monkey and one in the icecream parlor.

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

I love the ideas here. I think something like little walkie-talkies that they could do together, but each have one of their own, would be fun, too.

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