Getting Rid of the Pactifier

Hi A.,

I think my kids were somewhere between 2 1/2 and 3 when we gave the paci up. At about 1 1/2 or 2 it was only a bed/nap time thing. But, when it was time to give it up we took them to the store for a special toy to trade for it. For my son, it sat on the shelf for weeks before he was finally ready to throw away the paci himself so he could open and play with the Henry train he had chosen. My daughter, couldn't wait to get home to throw hers away so she could have her new Strawberry Shortcake doll. It worked great for both of them and they had something to snuggle (not that a train is very snuggley. Ha!) in place of the paci. Just try and be calm and casual and stress free about the whole thing and try and make her think the whole thing is her idea. Good luck!

My Dr. told us as soon as the kids cut their first tooth the pacifier had to go, so they did (at least with they youngest 2 the oldest never took a paci) my son was 4 mo old and my dd 6 mo old. THe longer you wait to make the paci disappear the harder it's going to be, find them all throw them out and be done with it. Good luck

15 mos is rather young to take the paci IMHO. Both my kids gave it up at closer to 2.5 years with just a little nudge from me. I don't believe in yanking loveys from kids and telling them to deal with it, there are times to be firm and unyielding and other times to help them transition with a little more love.

For me, we cut the tips of the paci's so they were 'broken'. Both kids kept the paci's in their rooms as their loveys but didn't put them in their mouth. It took them a few weeks to let go, but they did it with no tears or objections and were actually quite proud of themselves for being 'big kids'. And they didn't resort to sucking fingers or thumbs.

Every child will be different, but for me it was much better to wait until my daughter was older and I could explain it to her, especially since she had a baby brother who used it. She just barely turned three and I had been telling her for awhile that when she turned 3 she wasn't going to use it anymore. I let her have it on her birthday, but the day after was when we started. She also only used it for sleeping. I just found something that convinced her, for her I think it was telling her, her teeth would get bad. Then it wasn't even an issue, she didn't cry for it at all, and her teeth look just fine. She's even proud of the fact that she doesn't use it at all, because we make such a big deal out of it. I wasn't even going to attempt it at a younger age. I sucked my thumb for a long time and had fine teeth. I think a lot of the time it is more of a genetic thing. But I could be wrong. Hope that helps.

Hi A., with my son, we told him the story that the pacifier fairy was coming to get it so that other babies could use it. With your daughter being alot younger than our son was at that time, you could also try what my sister did. She would snip off with scissors a little bit of the pacifer every day. There is really no suction and they lose interest in it pretty fast. Her daughter was off of it in a couple of days...

I have three kids and with the first two I never used a pacifier. I used it with my third and I think it is the greatest thing. When he started walking I would not let him have the pacifier. He only got it at night and for naps. I let him keep it until he was 2 years old and able to rationalize a little better. I told him that he was a big boy now and needed to get rid of his mimi (that's what he called it). I went and got him another favorite toy to sleep with. I got him a really soft lamb from Bath and Body. He still has the lamb but sometimes he just wants to take a hotwheel to bed. It may take a little extra love and attention for a while but she will get over it. That is how I did it. I have had friends who cut the end of the mimi off and then gave it to the kid. Other friends told their kids that the garbage man needed one. You just have to go with the temperment of your child.

My daughter was 3 1/2 before we got rid of the paci. I tried earlier, but it seemed the more I tried to get rid of it, the tighter she held on and the more dependent on it she became. We cut the tips - she sucked on them anyway! My daughter is extremely strong willed, independent and at times, defiant. It truly had to be her idea before it happened. One day she just decided it was time. She threw it in our pond (with a big ceremony) and a couple days later the paci fairy came with the toy she had been asking for. She never once asked for it after she decided to give it up. She was finally ready and never looked back. I think every child is different. You can take everyone's suggestions and ideas, but you know your child best - her temperament and personality. Do what you feel is best for her.

Hello A.,

Well, I just took my daughter to the dentist for her first visit when she was 2 1/2. She, like your daughter, only had the pacifier at sleeping times - never during the day. It stayed in her crib or bed once she went to a big girl bed.

I was surprised when the dentist asked me if she used a pacifier or sucked her thumb. When I told her yes, she said that it was already doing some damage to her bite. I was quite surprised. She went on to explain that it's not HOW MUCH the kiddos use the pacifier, it's HOW HARD they suck on it when they do. Apparently, my daughter really sucked on it quite hard. Who knew? The damage is reversible at this point, but I immediately went home and cut all the pacifiers and when my daughter discovered them in her bed, they were "broken." She was kind of sad, and had trouble falling asleep for a few days - she also had trouble when she would wake in the night and not have that to soothe her back to sleep. In a short time, she did just fine, and I am glad she no longer has it.

I was going to get rid of it around the time she was 15-18 months, and wish I had! The transition would have been far easier, I believe. In my opinion, due to the fact your daughter is not super attached to it, I'd get rid of it. By cutting the pacifiers (the suck part), and leaving them in the bed, it was "no one's fault." She couldn't blame me for taking them away.

There are lots of ideas to say "bye bye" to the pacifiers, but I needed to do it as quickly as possible. Find what works for you, but know that your little one may be doing damage already due to how hard she sucks on it, not necessarily how much she uses it.

Good luck -

My son naturally gave it up. We took the gentle approach and it worked very well for us. Why fight it if it isn't doing any harm (which I don't think it is just at bedtimes and naps)? We stopped using it with naps first, and then bedtime. By about 19 - 20 months, he was ready to let go of it. Even if he had been older, I wouldn't take it away cold turkey. But that's just me - I try not to be too controlling with my son. He actually makes pretty good decisions, if I let him!

All four of my children had pacifiers, and they all have perfect teeth. Our son, Brad, was most attached to it and had one for bed until he was about 3. He called them "Twos" and had to have one in his mouth and one in his hand at bedtime. I think he was most attached to it because he had a bad case of the flu when he was just barely 2. He is now this big strapping 28-year-old! I would much rather they have pacifiers than sucking thier thumb (which does have a big impact on their teeth). I don't think it will make her teeth imperfect.

My son doesn't use a pacifier, but I worry about weaning him from his thumb.

Anyway, I have heard a few stories that seemed to work. The first was when the family went to visit a friend, the friend had a large dog that was a bit intimidating. They said that the dog had taken the pacifiers and that he could ask the dog for them back. The child seemed okay letting them go.
Another story I heard was with a blanket, but it seems like the same idea. The pacifier would be traded for another toy that they want, or if they are a "big girl" and don't use a pacifier, the big girl fairy will come and bring them a toy. It seemed to work better when the "stopping" didn't come directly from the parents.

On a Super Nanny episode, Jo used the Paci Fairy. We tried it on our 23 month old and it worked beautifully. My son was in control and made the decision on his own. We had my son put his paci in a gift bag and we put it out on our porch before he went to bed. When he got up the next morning we took him out on the front porch and he found a special present the Paci Fairy left him. He was so proud of himself and his new fire truck. He never asked for it again. We threw all the paci's out that same night so we couldn't go back either. We are planning on doing the same with our youngest son as well. Good luck. Just don't stress about it. Kids pick up on that. Tell your hubby it is a phase and they will grow out of it. It is so hard with the first child!

Cold turkey now is the best thing, your husband is right as later it is more of a power struggle.
Trade it in, take all the pacifiers and put them in a bag and say "bye bye" throw them away. At her age out of sight can be out of mind sooner then you think.
Then take her to a store and have her pick out a new snuggle friend in exchange. Then when she is upset over the pacifier hand her the snuggle toy as a replacement. She will cry, you just have to decide if you can handle it now or later, it may last a night or two or a week but you just have to reassure her they are all gone.
If you are already not giving it to her on some nights then you just need to stay consistent, otherwise it adds to her confusion.

my son was 27 months when my husband decided to take away his pacifier. i was terrified of the fight that was sure to come but to my suprise he let it go really well. no fits or anything untill he found one that e didnt know was around and since he was so easy i took my 10 month old babies away last month with yet again no argument untill he finds one so my advice would be just try and stick with it but be absolutely sure there are none at the bottom of the toy box or anything. Good luck!

You have so many responses! I read a couple but don't have time to read them all so I apologize if this is repetitive.

A friend of mine took her daughter to a toy store and they brought the paci with them. She told her daughter that there are babies who really need her paci and since she's a big girl now she could pick out a new toy if she left her paci at the store. Worked great (although they had 2-3 weeks of fitful sleep and transition issues.) She was also almost 3 so she really understood the concept.

I have a 18 month old little girl who also uses a pacifier at night and naps. I also had concernes so I talked to my pediatrician about it and she said the only way it will mess up her teeth is if she had it in her mouth all the time and it would have to be for years. She also said most kids will just give it up on their own and compared to the comfort it gives them it's not worth giving them the stress of not having it. My first daughter never used a pacifier so I wasnt sure what to do about it but have come to the conclusion that her happiness and great sleeping habbits are worth giving her the pacifier.

We are just starting the cold turkey thing now my daughter turned 2 in December and LOVES her nuk. We have been trying to figure out the "toy" that would get her motiviated to throw it away and nothing worked until last night when a big girl bike was mentioned. She threw them away and has asked for it several times but hasn't thrown any major fits. Night time was a tad harder for her to fall asleep but surprisingly she stayed asleep. I don't think there is any harm in giving it to them at that age during the day or night time. She had it all the time and wouldnt accept it for only sleep time so cold turkey was the only way to go for us. I have the bike in the back of my car now along with a new snuggle cow (she loves cows) I hope it ends up being as easy as it has been so far I was expecting a raging mean little girl. All I know is it is a habit and it can be a very hard one to break. If she doesnt ask for it, its just better to not give it to her and not start the full blown addiction and getting it to end with a 40 dollar bike later.

I can see that I am in the minority here, but I don't think that a 15 month-old who uses the pacifier only at night is a problem. According to my pediatrician and pediatric dentist, normal use of pacifiers does not cause long-term dental problems. Our doc even mentioned that most kids will give them up between 24 and 28 months on their own. My 16 month-old son uses his at naptime and bedtime as well, and I can't imagine taking it away from him at this point. He sleeps through the night alone in his crib every night, and when he wakes in the middle of the night, he searches for his "sucker" and goes right back to sleep.
Talk to your doctor and dentist, or try typing "do pacifiers cause dental problems" into Google to read some research on the issue.

We got rid of paci when my son was almost 2. He only had it at bedtime and naptime and the occasional long trip in the car. I would not count on baby giving it up on her own and naptime is generally harder to wean than bedtime. We went cold turkey and had 2-3 days of having a hard time falling asleep at nap. I have heard the older the child is, the hard it is to take paci away...my son was fairly easy to wean from nursing, bottle and paci, so I wish you easy weaning of your daughter!

We got rid of the pacifier with both of our kids when they were around 18 months old. I do think there is a time before they are 2 when they are a little less stubborn and it makes it easier for these types of transitions. We timed ours for after our last flight for a while since it was useful to not have a recently weaned kid on an airplane.

The technique we used with both of our kids was to use a scissors and trim a small slice from the end of the pacifier. Then you can still give it to them for nap/night but it doesn't work as well. You continue slicing off a small piece until they are either no longer interested or it is basically nothing left. With my daughter this process took about 5 weeks and many "slices" off of the end. With my son it took once and he no longer wanted it.

If you can get rid of the paci in the next 2-5 months I would say it would be easier for you (I do have many friend that tried to do it later and it seemed to be a bigger deal for them).

K.

I am sure you will be getting a lot of advice, but I will share our experience. The pacifier was a HUGE thing for my son. The only "thing" he really loved and was attached to. We finally weaned him to only naps and bedtime when he was 2yo. (You are already ahead of us on that!) By 2 1/2 yo we decided to go cold turkey. We did it over Thanksgiving weekend because we would all be home alone for four days with no outside commitments. My son gave his last pacifier to a little baby in our daycare (6 months old) and traded it for a cool big boy toy. We talked about it all for about 2 weeks before we made the transition. We gave it away after his nap for the day, so his first time sleeping without it was at bedtime (more likely to be tired than naptime). I won't lie, it was extremely difficult. Mostly for us as parents. He had three very difficult nights within a week's time, with some easier days in between. It was all totally over after that, however, and he doesn't even mention it anymore. He only mentioned it once in the month after we gave it away. We are very glad we did it. After we did it with him, we decided that if we ever have to do it again we will do it earlier - like before 1 1/2 because their memories are much shorter and they are not so attached as they will be a year later. The longer you wait the harder it will be. Some kids may give it up on their own - after they feel peer pressure because of it (4-5 yrs) but I don't imagine my son would have given it up before then if we wouldn't have made him.

Good luck! It is not an easy thing, but it is over relatively quickly and it is good to be without it. :o)

PS I don't think teeth concerns come into play until they are about 3-4 yrs or so.

Go cold turkey and throw EVERY pacifier you have in the house away. You don't want her to be attached to her pacifier at the age of 4 or even later. They say it doesn't affect their teeth but it can inhibit their speech. Plus its a little cute to see a baby with a pacifier but a big kid walking around with one isn't that cute.

Though I have not reached this point with my won child my little bother had his pacifier until he was about 1 1/2 or 2 and to wean him from it we put a small cut in the top so it lost its sucking power. We kept taking small cuts off until he realized it just didn't suck the way it used to and he didn't want it anymore. It worked pretty well...

A.,
I just wanted to say that whatever decision you make, you have to be ready yourself for her to give it up. It is so hard as a Mom to see your child cry and beg for the paci. So you have to make your mind up as well to be strong about it. The paci can be a very dear friend to a child and I think every kid's situation is different. My son just turned 2 and is very attached to his. We have been told by the dentist and our Pediatrician that there aren't any issues with ruining their teeth until they are 4 or so. I feel more peer pressure from other Moms than I do from anyone in healthcare to get rid of it. I'm going to wait a little longer for my son to give it up for naps and bedtime so that he can be involved in the decision. I know that he would have been devastated, had it just disappeared on him one day. It would be like you waking up one day and there was no more coffee in the world! (Of course this would only bother you if you were a coffee drinker but you get the point). Good luck with your decision.

Kids do not typically just give up their pacifiers on their own. From experience, I would say the sooner the better. We did cold turkey & it worked just fine. She had trouble going to sleep for a couple of days, and then everything was back to normal & we haven't looked back. Good luck!

I don't think anyone can answer this question for you. It's up to you and your spouse to decide what is best for your child and your family. I think often we worry too much about the outside voices and reasons when we have natural instincts which will guide us to what will truly be best for our child.
Trust yourself.

A.

I think you're doing great! A 15 month old who just has it at bed time is fine. My little one was so attached to her binky. We started with not in public, then not outside the bedroom and then we took it away. We took it away at 2 1/2. Couple reasons. Everytime we thought about it something was happening, either a trip or a visit or something stressful to her. So we decided to wait until we a had a couple of calmer months. We also decided to wait until she had a concept of getting rid of it. I think if you took it away cold turkey for a 15 month old that would be really hard to comprehend. So what we did was we collected all the binkies and put them in a box and then my daughter wrapped them and we left them for Santa with his cookies and milk. He was to give them to all the kids without binkies. For a few weeks she'd get ready for bed and ask for a binkie and then say, Santa. I think waiting until you have a better chance at reasoning is a better scenario for everyone. Good Luck!