Getting Rid of Blankie

Updated on July 16, 2008
C.W. asks from Sacramento, CA
10 answers

My son carries a security "blankie." He's carried it around since he was a little baby. Blankie has to go with him EVERYWHERE. He especially needs his security blanket when he's upset and in order to fall asleep. It really wasn't a problem when he was a baby and we talked to our pediatrician about it. Our pediatrician told us that we shouldn't worry about it until he gets to be around the age of 4. Our doctor felt that it wasn't harmful since our son was getting comfort from the blanket. But suggested that we start to wean him from the blanket at age 4 so he wouldn't be dependent on it when he got to be school age. Well, my son just turned 4 a few weeks ago and he's still carrying around the security blanket! If we just take the blanket away from him, he starts crying and crying and can't be consoled until he gets his blankie back. We've also tried to talk to him about being a "big boy" and how big boys don't carry around blankets. We'd really like our son to give up the security blanket well before he starts kindergarten next year. Do any moms that have dealt with this have any advice to give?

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S.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I would start making it stay in bed... and that it has to stay home

otherwise i personally see no issue.. i still have my lovey from when i was little.. i don't sleep with but have it..

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D.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My niece is 7 and going into the second grade. She still has her blankie. When she started school it had to stay home. So now she uses it at night to sleep and when she is upset. It is very tattered and starting to fall apart. But try to take it away and listen to her scream.

I say "pick your battles". Maybe slowly start to leave it at home when you go out. And get him used to the idea. Its hard when something really comforts them. And tell him now that he won't be able to take it to kindergarten. Maybe find a stuffed animal that will watch it for him when he goes to school. Good luck.

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L.A.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi there! I went through the same thing with my daughter who had to have her "bitty" to go to sleep at night. I actually saw something on Supernanny that worked for us... we started talking to her a couple of weeks beforehand and told her that since she was such a big girl now, the bitty fairy had called us and told us that it was time for her to come and bring all of the bitties to the babies who need them. We also told her that she would leave her a special gift for doing something nice for the babies. On the night before the "visit" she gathered all of her bitties in a bag (the show said it was important for her to do the packing - not us - so she is the one giving them away) and she put them out under one of our trees for the fairy to pick up. In the morning, she was so excited to see that the bitty fairy had left her a special surprise and a note and we played up the big girl factor. Trust me - she wanted her bitty for about a week going to sleep and was none too pleased that the babies now had them, but we kept reminding her that she was a big girl and had done a really nice thing for the babies and just let her deal with it, and she did great!

Good luck!! It will work out!

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C.F.

answers from Sacramento on

I've been doing something similar as some one else mentioned with the binkies. My son is allowed to have his binkie only when he is in bed. When he comes out of bed if he still has it he's told "OK now it's time to give us the binkie." then we put it up high where if he wants he has has to ask for it. If he wants it then he is told "if you want it then you have to go lay down in bed." I agree with some of the others that you don't want to do this straight out (one thing that helped us was that he started preschool where they only allow them to have the binks at naptime so he was around other who only had them at naptime). Start be saying that he has to leave it in the car when you guys go out somewhere, tell him that if he really needs it then you guys can always go back to the car (then get him busy with something), then as he gets better with that tell him that its time to start leaving it at home, then gradually it can only be in his room, then he can only have it in bed. As the novelty wears off then he will work away from it. It may take a bit to get him off of it from bedtime but you have to pick your battles, best to get it so that it's only at bed time and then you can work on that once you get there.

Hope it helps.

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T.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Start a policy that his blanket can't leave his bed. This is how we started to wean my daughter from the pacifier. She could only use it in her bed, so if she felt like she needed it during the day, that's fine, but you use it on your bed. No walking around with it. If he has been allowed to take it everywhere thus far, this is certainly going to cause a lot of objections. Make sure you don't emphasize that big boys don't need blankets, etc, as making him feel bad about it is just going to make him want the comfort it brings more. With my daughter, when she would get up in the morning we would just tell her she needs to put the paci back in her bed, and she would willingly go throw it on her bed, since I wasn't plucking it out of her mouth, she didn't protest much. I had to watch her though, since she would try to sneak it during the day, especially if she was really tired or upset about something. If he is currently allowed to walk around all the time with it and takes it out of the house, you may have to do this gradually, start with it can't leave the house, can't leave your room, then can't leave your bed etc. Since he is older, he will probably protest more, but you also have the ability to help him come up with his own ideas about how to help soothe himself. So you can put it on him (with your help). Say, if your upset and need to calm down, what do you think you can do to help you feel better? Anything like that. You would be suprised how well letting him come up with his own solutions works. Good luck. It is tough to see your child in distress, but better now than trying to transition to kindergarten and losing the blanket at the same time.

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N.D.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi there, I hope this helps: Talk to him about this idea first - and it sounds as though you are already explaining that big boys do not carry blankies but that he can choose his favorite piece of his blankie and help him cut that section off (a couple inch piece) and tuck it inside his pocket. That way, he can know that he has his blankie with him and it will be his secret super power...Best of luck. And don't work too hard! Dear Lord, full time work, school and a young child...I don't know how you do it.

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K.O.

answers from Sacramento on

Okay,So my son has a blanket and he is 4 too. I would never take it away from him because yes it is his security blanket and it very comforting to him. I don't let my son bring it in the car (only road trips). We keep it at home and use it only for naps bedtime and if he gets hurt. So I wouldn't make your son get rid of it. Just have boundaries and let him know its just for home. This advice might not be good, but don't take it away. Its one thing that is secure for him. Anyhow, good luck and all the best.
K.
I am 33 year old stay at home mom with a four year and two year old.

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S.D.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi, My 4 year old son has different security issues (his blankie is me!) ugg! anyway, I have an extra copy of a great book for a blankie issue. Its called "Owen" by Kevin Henkes. This is a link:

http://www.amazon.com/Owen-Caldecott-Honor-Kevin-Henkes/d...

I can mail it to you if you want.
I think it has a pretty good solution.
Good luck!
-Sunshine

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G.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Neither one of my kids is attached to theirs, which maybe a good thing when they start school, but it's kind of adorable to have a special blankey...That said, both of my girlfriends boys carried theirs everywhere. When they started preschool/kindergarten, she promised them that if they left it in the car when they were dropped of, mommy would take the best care of it and have it ready for them when they were picked up (this also gave her time to wash them, as one of her boys protested even that!)

Once they saw they could be without for several hours, the novelty wore off until eventually they no longer wanted to have them at all. Plus, kids can be cruel when they tease and they learned quickly that 'cool' kids didn't carry around their blankies ; )

Good Luck!

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C.W.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with much of what has already been posted about weaning your boy slowly from his blanket. My only comment would be that our daughter kept her blanket until she was 10, and the only reason she isn't still sleeping with it is because we lost it in our most recent move. This still distressed her, but she was able to cope with it. Our method has been to let the child lead any weaning and be as supportive as possible while they are adjusting to the necessary changes experienced while growing up. We have always been very up front with our children about the process everyone goes through when growing into adulthood.

Good luck.

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