Getting Pregnant at 45 Yrs of Age

Updated on October 25, 2009
A.L. asks from Las Vegas, NV
37 answers

Hello,

I have a friend of mine who has been trying to get pregnant "naturally" as IVF is too expensive and they won't go that route anyway... It's been about 2 1/2 yrs now and so far NADDA..
Yes, she knows the stats about women her age getting pregnant... probability... defects.. etc etc.. but she still continues to try and get pregnant..
with that said.. any women out there or who know women who are in their 40s and have conceived naturally.. would love to hear your stories.. and since we know the stats.. please just send in the positive stories.. my friend is just looking for a little hope..
Thanks ladies!!

2 moms found this helpful

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W.M.

answers from Sacramento on

My aunt had her first pregnancy at age 40, the second was at 42. Both children were normal and healthy. Her second did have some very mild learning issues, but was in regular classes.
W. M.

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi there - I have 2 friends who had children at that age! It 's not that unusual. I had my daughter when I was 40, which is not too far off from 45.

Good luck!

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

My mother had my brother when she was in her early 40's, he is a happy, healthy, intelligent 17 year old now!

My mother-in-law had my husband when she was 40. He is just fine, no problems there either =)

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M.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My husband and I tried to get pregnant on our own. Personally, I don't think we were trying at the correct time even though I was using a test to see when I was ovulating. We went to fertility, tried Chlomid) then were about to try the shots when the doctor said I would not be able to conceive (less than 15% chance). As we were signing up with adoption agencies, voila, we became pregnant. I was 40 when I conceived and 41 when I delivered my healthy baby boy. Having said that, I think I was lucky and there's a chance she may not conceive naturally but I wish her luck!

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J.H.

answers from Salinas on

Hi A L
I got pregnant naturally at the age of 41, it was a surprise, I thought I had the flu. It was my only pregnancy.
Best wishes to your friend.
J.

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T.P.

answers from Sacramento on

had a friend who tried for years. suggested switching to organic, pasteurized (NOT homogenized) milk. she was pregnant within a few months! Homogenization does something to change the chemical structure and our bodies can't process it properly. Pasteurized only is the kind that has the cream on top. Trader Joes has one and so does Raleys and Whole Foods.

Best wishes! Parenthood is great!

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K.L.

answers from San Francisco on

It's definitely possible!!! Don't give up and try to relax about it. After 3 1/2 years it happened for us -- in our 40s. If she's already had a baby then it's actually statistically better for her. If she doesn't have the money for IVF, but has a little, then she may want to have her tubes checked/flushed. I did and the next month was pregnant naturally. It's definitely possible. We have a happy and healthy little one. Good luck to your friend!!

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G.B.

answers from Boise on

My freind finally adopted at 42 and then at 43 conceived! Murphys law, hu?

Have her (and hubby) take cod liver oil and take iodine daily (Idoral).. it helps with fertility. And stop all soy intake which reduces fertility.

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L.H.

answers from Sacramento on

I was 42 when my little girl was born. It was an easy pregnancy and she has gone through school (college now) well above the 4.0 GPA She is very well founded and socially accepted everywhere she goes. Tell your friend we are very excited for her......hope it works soon.
L.

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C.L.

answers from San Francisco on

My husband and I tried to get pregnant for years. When I turned 40, I figured it wasn't going to happen, and I didn't want to go to extraordinary means to get pregnant. Well, lo and behold, the following year I got pregnant naturally at age 41.

When our son was almost 2, we tried again, and now I'm pregnant at age 44, naturally. Baby is due in one week! It's when we stopped stressing about getting pregnant that it happened for us.

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D.H.

answers from San Francisco on

There is hope! I got pregnant naturally (and by mistake, was even using a diaphragm) for the first time at 42, had a very easy pregnancy and a healthy little boy with no issues or defects at 43. He was breach so I had a planned c-section and the recovery was much easier than I expected, no real issues, even at this age. I have a cousin in medicine who jokes that we should be playing the lottery because the chances of me getting pregnant at my age and using birth control were something like a million to one. So although it may be difficult, it's definitely not impossible!

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C.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello,
Just read your request and I had to respond. Never say never. My younger sister at the age of 44 gave birth to a beautiful healthy boy February of this year. She has always been healthly, no drugs, or smoking. My nephew is now 8 months old. He's a happy, healthy baby.
I say go for it as long as both parents are healthy and prepared for all the work that is involved in raising a baby / child.

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H.D.

answers from Redding on

Hi, I had two babies after 40. It was hard and it took a really long time. Also I had two miscarriages between the viable pregnancies. Good Luck. P.s tell your friend be careful what you wish for, lol. I am now 44 have 2 kids under 5, separated, going to school full time and permanently exhausted!! Having babies when you're older kicks your butt!!

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Just another recommendation for the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" (www.tcoyf.com). I also recommend taking Evening Primrose Oil supplements. It should help her tell when she's about to ovulate.
Best of luck to your friend!

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V.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi,

I think your friend should have acupuncture to help her conceive naturally. I've had difficulty with pregnancy and acupuncture has seen me through one healthy succussful pregnancy and am currently pregnant with my second. If your friend lives in Mountain View, have her see Dr Henry Lee on Castro St. His phone number is ###-###-####. He is amazing and has helped many childless couples fall pregnant. Have your freind check her FSH levels, if they are too high he can get them down to normal and who knows what may happen next.

I hope she pursues this and good luck.

V.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Dear A L,
I can tell you about 2 women I know who didn't think they could get pregnant due to their ages and irregular periods which they believed to be the start of menopause. They both already had children....in high school!
Neither of them were trying to get pregnant and I think that seems to be the key in many cases. Some couples try too hard. One of my dearest friends went through IVF numerous times and saw specialists all over the country. She was finally told she would never have a child. So, she and her husband spent the rest of their savings on a new house, new cars for each of them, went on a cruise. They didn't figure they'd ever have to worry about a college fund, so they went on a spending spree like you wouldn't believe. Guess who ended up pregnant a few months later.....They have a perfectly normal and healthy son. The kids of the older moms, both girls, are perfectly healthy as well.

So, my advice is to hang in there and ease up on the idea of "trying" to get pregnant. Your friend should just enjoy her husband and relax a little about it.

I wish her well. Miracle babies do happen!

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S.S.

answers from San Francisco on

hey there -
i just wanted to join the support network of your 45 yr old friend who is trying to get pregnant: she could be me, as i am 41 yrs old and am considering trying to get pregnant again in another year or two...
the mix of support and opposition (even my own!) i'm faced with as i make this decision has caused a real up-and-down ride of optimism and despair -
my heart and love go out to your friend and i applaud her bravery and full engagement in this wonderful life :)
love n peace n all that good stuff ;) i say take the leap of faith! keep trying until it doesn't feel like the right thing for YOU to keep trying!
cheers,
S.

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Y.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello - I actually did conceive natually at the age of 40 and had our boy when I was 41. Although it took time (roughly 2 years), we didn't really start "trying" by monitoring my cycles until about a year after we started trying, so it took approx. 1 year to get pregnant once we were more diligent, and once I just relaxed and let nature take its course. We actually were about to fill out adoption paperwork when we found out I was pregnant! We have a healthy 4-1/2 year old boy now. Please let your friend know she can contact me directly if she has any questions about our experience. Email address is [email protected]____.com fingers are tightly crossed for her!

-Y.

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K.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Some advise from a BTDT older Mom. I would have your friend go to a great OB/GYN who will test all her hormones especially her FSH level (this lets her know where her ovaries are in the progression of fertility moving to menopause). Also check her estrogen and progesterone levels.

If all checks out well - she can try acupuncture to increase both her fertility and that of her husband. It is wonderful to hear all the success stories but since your friend has been trying for two years - they are not her success stories. I am saying that out of caring and someone who was in her shoes.

That being said - as a veteran of 6 failed IVF's and 2 pregnancy losses, I also recommend she did what I did at 42 and sit with herself and decide if being a Mom OR being pregnant are more important to her.

For me and my husband - being parents was more important than the monthly stress of getting my period or not, whether the latest high tech fertility treatment worked.

We chose to adopt and our daughter was born 6 days after I turned 45. She is now 5 and I am 50. I will add that I feel like I was "pushing the envelope" in having a child this late in life. I feel I am a great Mom as I have the patience I did not always have earlier in life but some days wish my energy was higher. Now dealing with peri-menopause with a young child can be a challenge too.

I am all for mid-life Moms -- I run a Mid Life Mom's Group which is a sub group of the Redwood City Mother's Club.

I just want to be the voice of reason as someone who spent 6 years trying to get pregnant. Relaxing, diet and other low tech methods can only go so far in conceiving when your body is moving into another phase of it's reproductive journey.

If your friend ever wants to talk to me about being an adoptive parent - have her contact me at [email protected]____.com

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K.M.

answers from San Francisco on

acupuncture really works. After trying for two years, I was pregnant in two weeks of acupuncture. I'm 41. Also, "Fertility Wisdom" is a great book that teaches you how to gain control of your fertility through meditation type excersises, diet, qi, feng shui and other philosophies of Eastern Medicine. It's great for taking control of your health. We tend to think health issues and sicknesses just happen to us, but we actually have control of our bodies. Best of luck. I Love being a Mom at 41. I mean, I really Love it.

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M.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello,
We tried for nearly five years before conceiving our son "naturally" - I was 39 when he was born. I got pregnant again "naturally" at 40 - I was 41 when our daughter was born. Both pregnancies were easy and issue free; both children are perfectly healthy. We tried so many "techniques" to get pregnant (NOT IVF or any kind of fertility treatment) , but it took years before it worked. Unfortunately, we have no idea why I got pregnant when I did, after so many years of struggling.
I realize your friend is slightly older than me, but I thought I would share my story as a mother of "advanced maternal age." It CAN work. I wish I could explain how...
Best of luck (and lots of empathy) to your friend...

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

My friend got pregnant at age 44 naturally, and gave birth at 45. Her daughter now 9, was a healthy baby. They do amnio which I think is required at that age, but everything was fine. Pray for the best! Good luck to your friend!

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E.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I got pregnant naturally twice while in my early-mid forties, as did my good friend. For us both, it was perfect timing in every way. This is a great point in my life to dedicate my attention to motherhood, my energy is high and positive, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. Good luck and have fun trying!

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C.L.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi the positive stories I know about were with young men. Even if your friend does not want to do IVF maybe she could still get one of her eggs screened for abnormalities. The test is called Array Comparative Genomic Hybridisation. It was used in the UK. Regards, C

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

my friend did ivf for several years with no luck.....she didnt do ivf for 2 yrs & opted to try accupuncture & 3 months later she conceived at 42.......then woops at 44 she conceived again & had a 2nd healthy baby boy at 45......my dental hygentist also went to an accupuncturist, after several yrs of trying & did ivf too with no success, got pregnant aftet seeing an accupunturist.......but both went to true chinese accupuncturist........best wishes......

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My sister did IVF unsuccessfully last year at age 43, then got pregnant on her own. Tell your friend, if she's not already using the book "taking Charge of your fertility" run out and get it now.

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W.E.

answers from Sacramento on

My great-grandma had her last child when she was in her mid-to late fourties and starting menopause. she didnt know she was pregnant! she had been to the doctor and he told her it was most likely a tumor. After she had the baby, she took him to the doctor's office and told the doctor "Here's your tumor. ever seen one like this before?" My great-uncle is a awesome guy, smart, healthy. she always said it was 'cause she had finally lost some of the weight from the 8 other kids she had and that's what she got as a reward!!

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E.M.

answers from San Francisco on

My aunt got pregnant & had a healthy little girl naturally at 43 AFTER a tubal ligation reversal, so miracles do happen! She did have a couple miscarriages but my cousin is now 8 years old and a total sweetheart. Best wishes to your friend.

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K.A.

answers from San Francisco on

My biological clock never went off until the day the day I turned 40. We spent the next year mulling it over, and decide that we would never spend time, money, effort and agony over in-vitro, but we would always regret it if we didn't at least try to concieve naturally. So we spent the next year just enjoying a barrier-free sex life, with no expectations. After a year, we were ready to assume that nothing was going to happen... and that's when it did! I had a beautiful healthy baby at 42. I did gain a LOT of weight and had borderline pre-eclampsia, but all that went away after giving birth(with a lot of dieting help).

It's great being a mom in my 40s, but I've learned I MUST protect my energy levels and get enough sleep. Burning the candle at both ends is not a lifestyle I can sustain without consequences at this age. Caffeine is no substitute for sleep!

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

My grandmother had her 7th and last child when she was in her mid-40's. My uncle is a tall, handsome guy who is very intelligent. Not a thing wrong with him!

My aunt had her only child at 48 years old. She did go the IVF route, so it wasn't a natural conception, but her daughter is beautiful and healthy (now 7 years old). One benefit of my aunt's age was that she was able to take an early retirement and stay home with her daughter. I wish I'd been able to do that!

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L.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My mom became pregnant with my brother at the age of 44. She had just completed a fast and was in really great shape. Diet and exercise can dramatically affect fertility...but so does heredity. Best wishes to your friend!

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M.J.

answers from Redding on

I would like to hear the stories too!

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M.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Don't worry, because one of my friend get a 16 years old daughter, and then got the second one a boy on her 50 years old. Everything is fine with her and the baby.
If you are a Catholic pray Rozary every day.
Good luck.

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C.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi,
Ms. C. here. I am presently 58yrs. old. was married for 11 years before I had my child. I was 45 yrs. old! 3 months pregnant and didn't even know it. I was still wearing my regular clothes; didn't get morning sickness or cravings. I went to the doctor because my nipples were sensitive and I wanted to find out why. I thought I was going into menopause. The nurse came back saying "Congratulations"! I was in shock. Because of my age, they watched me pretty closely and they did have to induce labor, but my boy is now 13yrs. old. He has always been a happy baby who never cried unless he wanted to eat. He has no health issues as we know of and is doing VERY well in school.

To tell you the truth, I don't think I would have been ready for any baby before my age because mentally, I wasn't ready. But having a baby did wonders for my character and I'm so glad my pregnancy happened when it did! I think if your friend takes good care of her health and stay active, because you must be active to handle children, mentally and physically. I'm sure your friend will be fine and I hope my experience helped.

Take Good Care!
Ms. C.

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K.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Hello,

I got pregnant accidentally at 39 after running out of birth control pills. That one ended at 20 weeks - the baby had downs syndrome and brain tumors and severe heart issues. Pregnant again at 40 naturally and I have a beautiful almost 4 year old boy. I am not sure why some people have no issues while other have many.

C.P.

answers from Sacramento on

Well as I am not in my 40s yet I cannot offer any thing for the age issue. I did want to put out there a really great book that helped my husband and I concive naturally. It had been well over 2 years since I had a miscarrage and my husband and I started trying as soon as the doctor gave us the ok. I had made an appointment with a fertility clinic and upon visiting my Chiropractor and talking to the receptionest (we used to work together so we were friends) she informed me about this book called 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility'. I got the book that same day and started reading it. It just really made sence so I canceled our appointment and gave this book a try. Well after only two months we had sucess!! I highly recomend this book! I spoke several times to my OB about maybe my cycles weren't always the medical norm. Well after tracking my cycles I did discover that my cycles were 34 days long and I was not infact ovulation on day 14 like my OB would have liked me to believe but I was ovulating on day 20. In this book it discusses other ways of telling when you are ovulating (most of them you have to be comfortable with your body and exploring) but it is very simple and straight forward! So nothing like what you learn about your body from your mom or OB! If only this infomation was given out or known by more women maybe there would be more hope and knowledge. I hope that, with spelling errors aside, you find this info helpful! I wish your friend all the luck!! Oh, also she might consider going to the natural food store. There is usually someone there who is very informative on natural supplaments for her and her hubby that may help in this department. Also one more item to consider. My friend and her hubby have been trying naturally for almost 3 years now and with no success. Her husband did have himself tested to make sure his little swimmers were healthy and that he didn't have a medical condition that was causing a problem. His insurance covered the urologist appointment. Just another thing to consider!

Again good luck to your friend!

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P.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I had my first child, a boy , at 38, and my second, a girl , at 41. Easily conceived,great births!!!!
I did check via amnio to see if all was okay and it was. Tell her just talk to God.
P..

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