Getting Pregnant - Milford,CT

Hi S.,
Have you thought of invitro? I am 45 years old with 2 1/2 year old twins. I have 2 other daughters 24 and 23 years old. This is a second marraige and my husband did not have any children of his own. We went to Woman and Infants in Prov. After going through test the doctor said that there was no reason why I could not get pregnant, but we could do invitro to speed things up. At that time I was 40 years old. After almost 1 year of invitro, I got pregnant! The doctor put back 4 eggs. He said my chances of twins were slim with my age. We low and behold 2 eggs lived! I was quite shocked to hear twins! The pregancy went well, I delivered by C-section at 36 weeks! (another unbelieveable thing at my age, said the doctors) I have a boy and a girl. (yes at 41 I finally got my first son!) They are both very healthy, and I would not change a thing! At 45 I have 2 1/2 year old twins, a 5 year old granddaugter, a 4 year old granddaughter, a one year old grandson, a granddaughter on the way in Oct. and another grandchild due in Jan. It is pretty funny when people ask the older grandchild if the twins are her brother and sister and she say's no my Aunt and Uncle! People look at her strange and I just say "yes she is right" I would not change a thing. I enjoy the twins so much. I think you mellow out with age, I don't think I could of handled it when I was in my 20's. Hope this helps. Any questions you can email me at ____@____.com. Website: www.noahsarkworkshop.com/kathyjaglowski1126

Hi S.~ I think it is great that you are itching for another baby, and I think you should go for it. I tried for years to get pregnant, and when I stopped trying I got pregnant...I am only 27, but I know that I want more children, and if that means that I am 42 when I get pregnant again, so be it....Good luck

S.,
You didn't say how old your kids are. I am 40 with a 3 year old and a 12 year old boys. Both are healthy and wonderful. I always told myself when I hit 40, no more kids. I love having just these 2 crazy guys. It makes life easier when it comes to travel, birthdays, after school activities,COLLEGE..............
I think at 42 you should be 110% sure you are ready to commit to a new little one. Will you be able to give each child all the time needed for hugs,kisses,rides to soccer.......
Also,be able to afford to give each child the very best financially in terms of health care(BRACES-my 12 year old is already at $10,000 and more to come!!),college......If you decide not to have more, I highly suggest your husband gets "snipped". You don't want to be 52 and find out you're pregnant.
If sure, then GO FOR IT!!!! I became pregnant after years of trying by lifting my legs high against the wall. After sex, I had my lower back against the wall with my legs and rear straight up. I was in that position for 45 minutes. IT WORKED!! I just hung out and watched TV. My husband laughed when I did it, but he was VERY happy with the out come.

Hi S.,
I would like to respond to this question..but in a much more personal email. If you can send me your email address that would be great. Mine is ____@____.com. Please send me your email, because I am facing the exact same issues.
T.

http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/1808_1904.asp

That site helped me find my fertile day last time. You are 41 and there are plenty of people your age still makin babies. You ahve to listen to your heart and what your partener thinks as well........and then go for it. You are old enough to know the risks so if you think they are worth it............nothin to it but to do it...literally.

My step-mom had two kids in her 40s - she had healthy pregnancies and both children are healthy, wonderful kids.

For getting pregnant, i'd recommend the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". It tells you how to keep track of your cycles naturally so you know which days you're most likely to conceive. Cheaper and probably safer than drugs, etc.

I am not a doctor, but at ypur age I suggest you don't get pregnant. They chances of it being a high risk is too high. Anyway consult a doctor

Hi S.... some serious thought went into responding to you and I'll ask that you don't take this the wrong way. I would have no problem telling you to have another baby if you were 100% sure that getting pregnant is what you want. Things are different for women now and having a baby at 42 is "normal". However, I find your doubt somewhat troubling. Let's be honest, having a baby is not something you should be continuously changing your mind about. Have you thought that maybe you are just trying to fill some other void? I don't want to sound harsh, but have you considered the possibility that you could just be missing something and searching for something inside of yourself and so you've decided that having a baby might be the answer? Maybe you're feeling a bit of the "empty-nest" syndrome because both of your kids are in school now (you never said how old they are)? These are questions only you could answer. I would suggest that you and your husband speak to a family planning counselor before you make a final decision. Good luck to you and your family. I hope I was a little helpful.

I am 35 years old and just had my second child. Sometimes I think I want a third (which is surprising since the two can drive me crazy some days).
I read an article in Oprah about the 10-10-10 rule in making decisions. How will this decision effect me in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years?
I am sure you know about all the health risks of having a baby later in life. You certainly don't need a lecture about that (certainly from someone who also falls into the category of "elderly primigravida" - the official diagnosis for women pregnant at the age of 35 and older) I think it's really how this child will fit into your family and into your life long term. Do you want to be 60 years old and putting your last child through college? How will a third child impact my other kids (with less attention/time or money for their college or family things)
If you decide to go for it and end up on Clomid watch out..... you could end up with two little bundles of joy.

Good luck in making your decision.

Hi S.,

I would like for you to REALLY be sure that you want that baby before you get pregnant.

I don't mean to say being 42 should stop you from getting pregnant because, I know from my african background that you can get pregnant even in your 40s. And in Africa there are no IVF procedures or reliable OBs in most remote areas where pregnancies in the 40s occur.

How is your emotional bank? Are you ready, at this age and in this country, to give equal attention to the baby you want and to the rest of your children/family?

Overall, it is a lovely, cuddly idea. And in case you'll DECIDE to go ahead and get pregnant, good luck and enjoy your pregnancy and your baby.

God bless you,

I am 39 and my daughter is almost one. I am itching for another and have recently started charting to help me get pregnant again. Don't let these young moms tell you that you can't or shouldn't do it. There are a million benefits to having and being an older mom! Send me a message if you want a buddy.

Hi Sylvia, when I read your letter, It felt like I could have written it. I'll be 39 in January. I have a 15 year old daughter who went to live with her dad last October and chooses to not speak to me. That's a long, sad story. But, I loved being a mom. I loved spending time with my daughter. I was always happy with my one daughter. For the past year or so, I've been pondering the idea of another one. I'm in a better place in my life, definately more financially secure. I only work 3 days a week now. I have plenty of time and more patience too! There are definately days I want another and some days I don't. I talked to my Dr. about this. She said it's not uncommon. She said if you really feel that way, just stay off your birth control and see what happens. I would truly be happy either way. I would not go into fertility treatments, but if it happened, I would be happy too. My husband feels the same as me. He could go either way. So, we'll see what happens. We are not too old, that's for sure. email me and let me know how it's going.. ____@____.com
Take care, S.

Hello S.,

Please don't take this wrong, but I would say not to. I have two kids myself, and I planned on my kids young. I am 25 now, so when I am 45 they are out of the house! I am free to live my life, and enjoy any grandchildren, and that is the way I like it.

Becides the fact that you would be in your 60's before the new child would be out of your house, there are health risks in getting pregnant over 35. Down's Syndrome is much more common in children born to mothers over 35 years old. My sister has a downs baby, and I love my niece dearly, but the poor child has had so many health problems! She has had to have open heart surgery, a feeding tube in her stomach, she has been in and out of the hospital, she is 3 and only just starting to walk, she has to wear corrective glasses, and if that doesn't work, she will have a surgery on her eyes, or else she will go blind. Ally will need someone to take care of her forever, as does all down's children. Yes it varies, and yes they often are able to live in assisted living homes, but is it really worth the risk?

I am not trying to be mean, I am just telling you out of concern. Like I said, I love my niece dearly, but the poor child has been so sick, and it will never just go away.

If you want another child, have you considered adoption? You can adopt an older child, if you like. You won't have to worry about pregnancy complications, the possibility of a sick child, and you will be giving a child who is already in the world a home that s/he desperately needs. Or else there is also foster care.

These are just some things to think about. If you do decide you want a child of your own, good luck. I hope all goes well for you. But you don't sound like you are really sure about this decision, so just think about my suggestion. Maybe you will decide that is the right way for you to go!

good luck
liz

I think its wonderful you want another child, and I don't think age should be a factor. As long as your healthy and take care of yourself, shouldn't be a problem! Talk to your doctor and see what he suggests.

maybe get one of those ovulation kits like EPT brand to see when you're "ripe". I don't think it's crazy to conceive at 42 as long as you feel you have the energy for it! My grandmother gave birth the last time at 43 & my paternal aunt gave birth the 8th time at 42! there was nothing wrong with any of their children. I keep reading that after 35 your baby may get down syndrome, but people gave birth after 35 for eons before they came up with that, so as long as you're healthy - go for it! God bless!

I'm almost 45 and yes there are times when I think of having another baby. I have two boys 8 & 7.I have so many goals thought that I realistically wouldn't have time for another child. I'm just getting my life back. To fulfill that urge I visit people who have babies when I have time and hold them for a little while. That does it for me.

In terms of getting pregnant even when I was 35 I had trouble. The two things that helped me was 1)going to a chinese herbalist. The herbs to balanced my body and make it stronger and more fertile. 2) My practice of Buddhism helped me stay focused, hopeful, relaxed and positive.

If it's something that you really want then it will happen
Best of Luck,
T.

Hi, have you tried talking to an OBGYN? There could be something he/she could prescribe or mabeye give you some great advice. My friend tried for more that a year and then was prescribed something. She was in her 30's though. I think its great you want to have another baby.
Take care and good luck,
K.

I know that trying to conceive can be very difficult and emotionally draining. I have a reproductive anomoly called uterus didelphus...I have 2 uteri! I am a freak of nature! LOL!

But on a lighter note, I can help make your conceiving experience with your husband be more fun again...because I know it can be very stressful. You should try to have fun with sex again and let nature take it's course. I sell sensual oils, lotions, creams, lingerie, and adult toys. You can even have a passion party in the privacy of your own home...give me a buzz! Good luck and I will pray to the fertility Goddess for you! :)

PURE ROMANCE BY N.
email: ____@____.com
website: noreenrequijo.pureromance.com
cell: ###-###-####

S.,

I run the second largest single mom by choice organization in the US (international really, but most of the members are in the states). This is a big topic that dominates our groups. Most choice moms are around 40 when they first decide to conceive because they've held out for the relationship or the career, then realize they're about to miss the boat on having kids. Here's the deal with having a child at 42 (which by the way I'm planning my second for 42 as well and have concerns) Once a woman hits 35 her fertility begins to decline rapidly. The decline basically doubles every year past 35 with higher risks of Downs Syndrome each year as your follicles dry up and your egg supply is exhausted. Many women at 41 or 42 can no longer produce viable eggs without the assistance of drugs and fertility treatments. The up side to this is that it is still possible with medical support, the down side is, conception becomes a bit precarious. Many women don't have issues at all. Much of it is genetic. Either way I wouldn't recommend trying to get pregnant at 42 naturally without working with your OB, and a good fertility specialist. What you want to do is have a fertility workup done. Once you do that you'll know where your body is, if you have viable follicles and healthy eggs, or if you should be taking an agressive route with fertility drugs like Clomid or going the IVF route. The bottom line is at this age you don't have much time and if you truly want to get pregnant you need to get the ball rolling with your doctor and approach now.

I need you to know that the older you are, the older your eggs are, meaning, that there is a greater risk for all sorts of gentic abnormalities. You have to take this into consideration, because if you do decide to get pregnant, and something does happen, then that will make the birth, and raising of the child even more difficult. Does your husband know you are trying? You might want to talk with him first, because he may be planning your retirement and all that alone time with you, which will be altered if another child is born. Also, you may want to consider that your desire to have another baby may be hormonal and may actually be caused by the change in hormones in perimenopause. This is something you have to think through.

However, that caveat being said, I do have an herbal regime that has worked for all three of the women that I have put on it. I am not guarnteeing that it will work, but it has worked in the past and is far less invasive than many of the fertility methods.

I hope that you find the answers you are looking for, but take your time in thinking. If you need the regimine I have it.

L.

Are you nuts??? Enjoy the kids you have and stop putting pressure on your self to have another! You are having trouble conceiving because you're really too old (sorry) to have kids! There- I said it!
If you really feel like you want a larger family- try looking into adoption. There are so many unwanted children right here in CT that you could pour your love and attention into without putting your health- and the health of a fetus- at risk.
If you had a baby now- you would be 62 when that child was in college. Can you retire with a child in college???
It really is a personal decision- and I hate to be so blunt- but you asked! I hope this didn't come off too harsh. I'm not trying to be mean- just truthful.
Good luck with your decision.
-S.

Hi. I'm 42, have a 3 year old and a 15 year old and am an OB nurse. I also have two teen stepkids. My huusband is almost 50 and we had a reversal to have our little guy. I think if God made it possible for us to still have kids it is NOT to late; sometimes though we get babyitis and forget we are blesed with what we have or that sometimes there are risks we have to be willing to except at our age which might entail a little more work and commitment. But if you love your kids like I love mine more power to you. If it's meant to be it will happen. If my husband was up for it I would but I will be thankful for the joy I have. Good luck!

I just posted a note about being pregnant with a 4th. I forgot to mention I'm 41. For me, age wasn't a factor at all and in fact, I just had 2 friends, one 42 and the other 43, who just had their second babies. My friends and I are energetic, young at heart, and most importantly don't feel old. Two things, if you work closely with your doctors and are aware of the things that can go wrong that will help. Second, if you're prepared to love the other child unconditionally, isn't that what really matters?

Hi S.,
I didn't get married until my late 30's so my first son wasn't born until I was 39. I had absolutely no problem getting pregnant with him so when it came time to consider another child, I didn't think that getting pregnant was going to be an issue.

Like you, I also wasn't really sure if I even wanted to get pregnant again. I was pushing 40 and I was perfectly happy with one, but I thought that he should have a sibling.

So I started trying again when I was 40, and much to my surprise, I couldn't get pregnant. Month after month after month and I remember thinking all of the things that you said. I was too old, I already have 1 healthy child so why risk it, that it was a sign from above that one was enough, and did I really want another child anyway.

But we kept trying for a year and it just wasn't happening. I finally went to my OBGYN and after some bloodwork, got started on Clomid. I was giving it 3 months and than I was going to stop! After 2 months, I was finally pregnant. So at 42 yrs old I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy boy.

I am now 45 and my 2 boys, now 3 and 6, keep me busy all day. And I wouldn't change it for the world. I believe that I was meant to have BOTH my boys and they each help me grow every day. So, as far as giving birth at 42, well sure I sometimes wish that I was 25, but that was not the hand that I was dealt, and given the choice of being 42 with no children or being 42 with a toddler and a baby, I would choose the later EVERY TIME!

Well, that's my story. I hope it can be of help to you and your family. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

Sincerely,
S.

Doctors will tell that if you are over 35 and been trying to get pregnant for more than six months to see a fertility doctor. If this is something you can afford ( insurance I think covers it depending on your situation).

I say go for it. Definetly.

I'm 37 and just had my first and would like more.

Because of your age they may recommend more ultrasounds and testing. I had two ultrasounds and some tests done to determine the likilood of there being any health problems with the baby. She's fine. Super healthy!

A friend of ours just had a baby girl. She was pregnant at 44 and gave birth at 45! Everyone is doing wonderfully.

Good Luck. Children are such a precious gift.

Do what is in your heart! What you feel will be the best for you and your family! Be happy with wahtever you do choose. I see age as just a number and I feel that if you really truely want another baby then have one.
Follow your heart.