Getting Out with Two Children

I had 5 in 6 years, and took them all over. I had a Hand On The Stroller rule when walking--everyone who was walking had to have a hand on the baby's stroller--and the kid leashes were totally worth the comments of woof, woof I heard as we went by. You just get used to traveling in a unit.

I have 6 children. I put the baby in a sling or front carrier then I have greater freedom of movement. You might also try outings where there are defined boundaries i.e. a friends backyard, kid's gym,or chuck e. cheese. Another fun option is MOPS--Mothers of Preschoolers. They have a website and groups that meet all over the country. They have fun childcare for the little ones and then an opportunity for you to connect with other mothers of little people. I would also forget about a nap schedule or feeding schedule. My kids all fall into a pattern around the family schedule and there is give and take involved. Sometimes the baby sleeps in the sling or the car while we drive from here to there and sometimes everyone else has to wait to go because the baby is eating. In my opinion strict nap and feeding schedules are highly over rated and cause more stress than they benefit esp. if you are doing the whole crying it out thing.

I definitely agree with the sling idea. However, if you don't care for that, why can't the 4 month old sleep in the stroller? Mine did, and he learned to sleep through noise and commotion, and ended up being a better sleeper at home because of it.

I so feel your pain about the older one running off. I once chased my 2.5 year old through a parking lot while dragging along my infant in a baby carrier! I'd say either take them to a contained area to play or invest in one of those harnesses for toddlers with the "leash" (I hate that word, but what else do you call it?) for when you're in an open area. I also strongly agree with joining a Mom's group or playgroup - that way there are other Moms around that you trust to keep an eye on the baby if your two year old needs chasing, or to watch your two year old if you need to change the baby's diaper, etc. I've made some of my best friends through involvement with a playgroup, and so have my boys.

Good luck! It will get easier, I promise!

Hi Victoria. First, you are not a wimp. My first child just turned one and I still sometimes find it hard to manage just him!

I used a sling with him and he loved it, but he has been a big baby since birth and my back really couldn't take it much past six months.

I thought I would recommend hiring a "helper" if you can. There are many qualified "mother's helpers" in our area that I found on the website, sittercity.com. Even if you schedule someone for only a couple of hours twice a week to go on outings with you and your children, it would at least let you get out of the house and still have peace of mind.

Good luck!

Maybe the park is too big a place to venture out to just yet. Try other places with smaller areas for the 2yr old. Some places that have bounderies so he can't go but so far from you. And be firm and consistant. Teach him now that if he wonders off and Mommy has to come get him then he goes home. AND STICK TO YOUR WORD! That means if you don't want to go, go anyway. It will only take so many times before he will get it. I promise you!

I hated those things that look like a leash for a dog. In fact, I had to eat my words when I said, "I will never have one of those on my kids!" I am a SAHM with 3 boys and I only have 2 hands. So if I get one child in one hand, the other child in the other hand, the third child is gone! So I learned that safty was more important than what I felt I looked like. We have the monkey one from Wal Mart. It's a back pack that we put snacks in for him and the tail is what I hold onto. He feels like he is "free" and I know he is safe. This is great for walking especially when I have my sister's baby with us. I learned to get everything packed and to plan ahead for just incases. I take food, snacks, drinks and clothes every time we leave the house. As for naps, when they sleep in the stroller or car carrier, it counts as a nap. All of my boys sleep on the go and maybe that's because we did it on purpose. I don't know. If you need to get home by a certain time, then be sure to get out earlier.

You go mom! You can do it! There is nothing that can hold you back but you. And there is always your yard for those days that you don't feel like going anywhere. Pack a brown bag lunch for you and your little man and eat out in your yard. They love it! And the vitamin D from the sun is so very important for all of us.

Keep up the good work! They will grow up fast so be sure to enjoy the journey.

Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 12, 8 & 2 yrs old and married to my Mr. Wonderful for almost 15yrs. I love to help moms, who want to become SAHMs, reach that goal!

I hear ya.....I have a 3yo and 9mo and am VERY hesitant to take both out together. The 3yo is for the most part extremely well behaved and listens like nobody's business but I just don't want to be out and about and have that one instance of her not listening and be chasing her through a parking lot with the little one on my hip.....I as well was much more active with just the one and she and I would run errands etc together but with all the nap scheduling, feedings, etc etc etc we've been somewhat of shut-ins. It is temporary though as I'm sure we'll head out more some day. Everything's temporary right?? :-)

I was exactly the same way. For about the 1st year after my second was born...I tried to stick to the house as much as possible. It seemed any outing was such a chore! I was lucky though, my toddler liked to be at home playing. When you aren't up to going out, and your little one gets a bit antsy, maybe you could look into purchasing some new activities that would help keep her occupied. And maybe save those special toys or activities and only pull them out at that time. You could also try to make the day more structured for your 2 year old...such as reading time, movie time, craft time...things like that. It will help keep her day moving forward to help stop her desiring to go out and about when you are not up to the challenge....and yes, it is a challenge. It will get better though.
K.

Hi there. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and an 8 month old. I found it difficult and intimidating at first to go out alone with both, but you will get used to it. As your baby gets older it will get easier. The nap thing bothered me too at first, but in my opinion it never hurts to let them get off schedule once or twice a week. The way I look at it, if they get used to that, it will make your life easier when they have to miss a nap in the future.

I have a double stroller, and that has been my savior. I too have had to chase down my 2 yr old, (running after her with the stroller)!

And I agree...the toddler leash is totally worth it. People laugh but it is great. My 2 yr old went through a stage when she refused to hold my hand. So if I couldn't use the stroller I would put her on the leash, carry the baby and I didn't have to worry about her running off.

You are not a wimp! It is hard. It is not only good for your kids to get out of the house, it is also good for you!

Good luck, I hope this helped...and trust me I know how wonderful, but hard it can be!

K.
http://littlemomentsfrozenintime.blogspot.com/

Hi Victoria,
There are lots of good suggestions here already. I used the double stroller a lot for outings and often went to confined playgrounds, play areas, and playdates with friends at eachothers' homes. MOPS or MOMS groups are also a great idea.

I found it difficult to get out during that first year after my daughter was born (with a boisterous 2-year old boy needing to get out and play). Be encouraged that it does get easier and lots more fun!

Do you have a front or back pack for the little one? If you do activities in the morning, they may well nap in the sling or front pack while the 2 year old does their thing. My daughter got to go to my son's nature activities and slept through many of them but also learned about nature while there. This may not work as your 4 month old may be too big and heavy for your back to sustain carrying them but if you can, it works well for containment purposes and your movement lulls them to sleep.

I have two boys that are 26 months apart. I know how you feel! I had a hard time at first, but then I started to feel stir crazy. Have you looked into baby carriers? There are a lot more out there than the one's you see at Babies R Us. I would suggest the Ergo or the Beco Butterfly carriers. When we go out in public for the park or quick trips, I strap the little one on and the older one is good to go. I also keep it in the stroller since sometimes little guy just wants to be held, yet I still have to push the stroller. It's been a life-saver!! My sons are now 3 and 1, and I still use my Beco carrier.

That's what I was going to say! I really like the Moby Wrap sling, it's comfy! I have a two year old and one month old. If I didn't have the sling I'd go stir crazy too!!

Try out a baby carrier. My little girl loved to sleep in it when we went places. And if you are in a tough spot it may be worth getting one of those backpack with a leash on it for your two year old. I laughed at them before, but my daughter will be 21 months when my next baby is born and we need to use one.

Hi. I have a now 2.5 and 1.5 year olds. When our second came along I found it so much easier to buy a front carrier. The ones you wear and it holds the baby up so your hands are free. Of course a lot of the stuff you have to time just right or cut the time short (say if you take them to the park, just don't stay too long). Mostly for me it was about timing everything. How long could I stay out with them before one needed a nap? If I go here, how long will I be? What will I need if my time over runs itself?? I even did this with doctors appointments. Scheduling just right. I still do it today, since our youngest is still on a nap schedule. It takes work, but you can do it. Biggest problem is when they both are walking and you take them to the park. :P one wants to go that way and this one wants to go this way, but you still have time before that happens. Good Luck. ;)

I hear ya Mama! I was the same way--wondering how all these moms were out and about with their kids. Well, the answer is they just push them through naptime or the kids sleep in the stroller. That never worked for me. I had to have my kids home and in the bed or life was HARD for me. All I could ever manage was a brief outing in between naptimes. I fed the baby as soon as she woke up, gave the big boy a snack and Bam! the timer started and I had about two hours until we had to be home for lunch.

It gets better with time.

Hi Victoria,

The other mom's advice about "wearing" your baby is good advice. It certainly will improve your mobility and allow you to keep up with the 2 yo. Also there is a good chance that your little one will be able to nap in the sling with very little difficulty.

Also, I don't know where you live, but check with your local Parks and Rec. Dept. I know that in my area (King George) they have a great toddler hour at the gymnastics gym every Thursday (we actually go an hour later because that one is for older, home schooled children like my 6yo) but my point is that many communities organize things like this. The one we have is a great place to allow an older child to play while mom is watching the little one. My youngest is 13mo so I understand the difficulties you are having. But try to find something like this to do at least once or twice a week, preferably something indoors in a safe environment so you don't have to feel pulled in two directions and you can let your 2yo let loose.

Also, 2 is old enough to understand basic concepts like "please stay close to mommy so I don't worry" or "please stay where mommy can see you" or "I can't leave the baby, so I need you to be my big helper and play safely where I can see you"...something of that sort. Enlisting your older son's help will make him feel more grown up and gradually it'll sink in for him and you will have an easier time of it.

Good luck!

I too must recommend a sling or other carrier. I have a sling and a mai tai and I still use them for my 11 month old to get her to go to sleep some nights when she just wants to play. There are many affordable options out there and eBay is a great place to start. I recommend an unpadded sling to get the most wear out of it since the padded ones usually have a lower weight limit. I have a Maya Wrap ring sling that I got with my first that I've carried everyone from my stepson when he was 4 and sick and couldn't walk to my youngest as a newborn and beyond. You can google "babywearing" for lots of great resources online. There's just too much good stuff to list here. The baby carriers are a good hands free option so you can keep a hand on the toddler and the baby usually will fall asleep snuggled into you as you go about your outing.

Lots of great advice here, Victoria. I'm just going to add one big-picture thing I've learned from several friends with two or even three kids close in age: Now is the time to get out, because when your younger child wants to start crawling and walking, taking them both out may be much harder, not easier. While your baby is portable and can just stay in a stroller or carrier, at least you know where he is. Chasing two who are both up on their feet is tougher and you may feel much more inclined then to stay home! So do as some folks below suggest and get the baby acclimated now to sleeping in the car, in the stroller, etc. Remember library storytimes and just plain old library time too --you can read with your older son while the baby sleeps or, well, just hangs out--before he can get away from you!

How about using a sling for your 4 month old? That way if you need to chase down your 2 year old, you don't have to worry about leaving the stroller out of your sight.

throw that baby in a backpack and go!
not only will you and your 2yo feel much better for having adventures, but you'll be doing your baby (and yourself) a huge favor if you acclimate him to sleeping in odd places. let freedom roll!
:) khairete
S.

Not sure where you're located, but here are some indoor play locations with open gym time as well as classes. Some (Romp & Play) have classes for mixed age groups, which is great!:

Little Sprouts, http://www.littlesproutsplay.com
Romp & Play, http://www.rompnroll.com/germantown
Funfit, http://www.funfit.net
Kidville

There's also the library, but it is easier if you go in one of the reserved rooms so it is enclosed. Why don't they put doors on the childrens' area??

Good luck! :)
Debbie

Try taking them to places that are mostly child-safe, and that are contained. I leave in your area, and the best places I found are play areas in the shopping malls. My favorite is Lynnhaven Mall in Va. Beach. Also MacArthur Mall has a pretty good one, but parking costs! That way, you can let the 2 yr old run mostly free and not worry. I also had a child leash for my son because my Mother watched him often, and she couldn't run to catch him. Never worry about what someone else thinks of a leash. Your child's safety is what matters. Good luck!