Getting My Son to Take Shorter Showers

Updated on May 20, 2015
M.D. asks from Napa, CA
28 answers

We live in drought-stricken California. My 16 yo son takes his shower in the morning. He has an early flight class so he is up and in the shower by 5:20 or so. When I get up at 6 he is still in the shower and usually until 6:15. So he is taking a shower that is almost an hour long!

I have talked to him about the drought and how we have to cut back water use. Hasn't made any impact. Any ideas on how to get him to cut back on shower time?

Second question of the day - a record for me :)

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

F.B.

answers from New York on

there are shower heads with built in timer devices. this model reduces the flow to 1/3 after 11 minutes, which gives you enough water to rinse with, but not enough to continue to shower. It also has a 5 minute interval before you can re-set and shower again. so it really puts a stop to lengthy showers. I imagine there are other products out there to this end.

http://www.showermanager.com/conservation-store/shower-ti...

just what is he doing in the shower that long?

best,
F. B.

13 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Tell him you're going to remove the bathroom door from his bathroom. If he feels like someone might walk in on him (let's face it, he's not in there deep-conditioning his hair all that time ;) he will probably be done with his shower in 5-10 minutes like all the rest of us!

6 moms found this helpful

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Move the shower to before he goes to bed then set a timer and leave it on the sink and he has to get out when it goes off. That way you are home and can monitor it. Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

Shut off the water supply after 5 minutes.

...and yes, I giggled when I saw the age of your son because he's TOTALLY not in there that long for the hygiene!

...you could also have a picture of you plastered on the wall of the shower so he can see that....that should cut the time way down too.

15 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My 17yr old son would stay in the shower all day if given the chance. If it gets too excessive, we say (loudly so he can hear us) "We're shutting off the water in exactly 10 minutes. You better be done by then." Then, another heads-up at 5 minutes, then if he's not done, we shut off the water. That only happened once. He still takes long showers, but not nearly as long as before.

Of course, a few years ago, we had to BEG him to take a shower at all. Amazing.

13 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Turn off the water heater.

ETA: It doesn't take a teenage boy an hour to masturbate to climax.

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Tell him to masturbate in his bed. ;)

LOL Queenofthecastle, that should do it! Thanks for the laugh I needed it. How To Get Teenage Son Out of a Shower: Put a picture of mom in there. Ha!

7 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

We have a shutoff valve on our water heater. If the boys are more than 10 minutes, off goes the hot water.

6 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Me to kid: Hey, man, water bill is killing us. Can you try to keep your shower down to 10-15 mins?

Next day, if he doesn't, then you cut the water supply.

Me to kid (after he flips out that his shower stopped): Well, I told ya, everyone else can manage in 15 mins, so can you.

Also, he might not even be IN the shower the whole time it's on. Found out my oldest turns the shower on, THEN sits on the toilet. Grrrr. That was an interesting conversation! Waaaah?! What do you mean water's not free?! Me: yeah, no, it's not free, also it's not endless, wasting water is stupid.

:)

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would set a timer. If that doesn't work, then tell him that he has x minutes for a shower. If he goes over, he owes you money toward the water bill. My SS used to take very long showers. We changed to a smaller water tank and suddenly when the showers weren't so hot, he took shorter ones. Or DH made him take showers AFTER everyone else so he didn't use up all the hot water.

I wish I'd known about the timers in the shower heads!

I might also make him do a research paper on the effects of the drought. Not just on your wallet, but on the environment and economy.

ETA: I fully realized that it was probably not strictly bathing, but with 5 people in the house and one water tank, SS had to cut the showers shorter. He was down to more like 30 minutes when he moved out. When I realized I'd had solar showers while camping that were more enjoyable than the showers I got at home, that was the tipping point for me (and DH...because I was grouchy).

I also agree to ask him what he's doing beforehand. Like how long does he wait for the shower to warm up? So much water is wasted that way. You might also say that if he cannot trim the time down, he should take a bath. When the water gets cold, he'll get out.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Turn down the heat on the hot water heater so he'll run out of hot water sooner...he'll get out much quicker.

Or set the timer on the dishwasher after dinner for 5:30am, start a load of towels or sheets are 5:30am on hot water, use it all up before he gets in it.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.F.

answers from New York on

Turn down the temperature on the hot water tank and unless he likes cold showers they would be much shorter.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Houston on

10 minutes and then shut the water off. That will make a statement.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

The main thing that jumps out at me is total disrespect for your rule and the need to conserve water because us Californians are in a serious drought.

We have 5 in our household and we are all taking 5 minute showers and cutting back in so many other areas. It really pisses me off to hear that others in our state are not taking the drought warnings seriously.

I would have one last chat with him and give him another chance. But, during this last chat I would let him know what consequences will be rolled out if he continues to choose to disobey the house rules.

I would then wake up at 5:20 with him this next week to see that he is obeying the rule.

After 5 minutes I would knock on the door to give the 5 minute warning. If he does not turn it off then either I walk in and shut it off for him or the water heater is turned off. Tell him up front that you will be doing this.

Our city has free shower timers that we picked up. Each shower in our house has one. It is just a simple timer that sticks onto the shower wall. Look into one of these or have him set his own timer.

I would also tell him we will start deducting money from his chore money or fun money you give him to help pay for the water bill. Or put him to work to pay for the increased water.

We are being threatened with hefty fines if we go over our allotted water amount. The amount of water allotted to each home is based on 2013 consumption with a 25% reduction. I don't know if your city is threatening this but let your son know it is happening around the state and could be happening soon in Napa.

We are also firm believers in positive discipline as well. Sooo, I would come up with a positive reward for him if he complies with the strict water guidelines. Find something that would be a good incentive for him.

Good luck!!

4 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

He gets 5 minutes. Take away his cell phone for 1 hour for every minute over that. You'll have to get up early, but this talking to him is ridiculous - it's not working. If he is using the long shower to wake up, then send him to bed an hour early - he needs the rest. If his homework isn't done, oh well. Let him explain it to the teacher that he is giving 1 hour to showering instead of homework.

Then make an appointment for him to tour the water department and have a talk with the water resources director.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.R.

answers from San Francisco on

A 20 minute shower let alone an hour is totally unacceptable as we pay the bills. Please tell him when it is his house and utility bill that a shower of any length is fine.

A timer and expensive fees for going over the time limit, say $3 a minute. We have always knocked on the door or wall to let our son know his time is up. He uses a time now.

4 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

He's a 16 yr old boy...it's entirely possible that he's m*********** in the shower every morning.
If that's the case, it's something he can do in his room behind closed doors.

Whether it's your or his dad...maybe find a way to see if that's a part of it.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.K.

answers from New York on

Isn't there a drought in Ca? How, in all good conscience, can you let him do that. Doesn't he know about the drought???

3 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

Make him pay the water bill for a few months, or until he begins taking shorter showers.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from San Francisco on

You might have to get up and force him to get out of the shower and/or turn off the shower yourself after 5-10 minutes. In the same area and the best I can say is set a timer or use yourself as the timer.

I've made my 11 year old get out of the shower with soap in her hair because her time was up. Needless to say that's taught her to use her time a bit more wisely. Not sure the same would work with your 16 year old but he of course is beyond old enough to comply with shorter showers.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Get a timer for the shower head and set it for like 10 minutes. Make sure it does not turn back on for a good hour.

Give him the water bill to pay out of his pocket.

Go in when he is in the shower and turn the water off with him in it. And tell him that every time he takes a longer shower, than the timer of 10 minutes you will be in there.

Good thing he is California and not in Germany where they have coins that you have to use to take a shower and it is about 5 to 10 minutes.

Good luck.

the other S.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

set the hot water heater way, way back. (that would punish me too- hopefully he's a fast learner!)
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Shut the water heater off before you go to bed.

A shower shouldn't last longer than 7 minutes. Get him a timer. If he doesn't comply then let him take sponge baths. If he isn't responsible enough to manage a reasonable shower then he loses the privilege!

1 mom found this helpful

R.A.

answers from Boston on

Put a timer in there. When it songs, he needs to get out.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

You could hand him a bucket and a wash cloth and let him take a sponge bath.
Just kidding! - sort of.
Or get up when he gets up and have his shower timed (10 min).
When his time is up shut off the hot water.

Really - showers waste a lot of water.
Ideally you're suppose to get wet, then shut the water off, soap up, then turn the water on briefly to rinse off.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Boston on

my son when he was young and around that age did the same thing - I expressed to him there were other people in the house that had to get ready too and if he wanted to take a long shower he would have to do so at night-mornings were not the time - he didn't cut back on the time he took in the shower but by taking long ones at at night certainly helped with the morning stress.

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

I would start charging him by the minute, but if the water runs out that wont do any good. Maybe look into some kind of timer that will shut off the water after so many minutes.

I found this article, maybe you should print it for him to read or take a ride through some of these areas where people have no water what so ever. Once a well goes dry it cannot be refilled. I cant imagine living where you do, it must be very frustrating.

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-central-calif...

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Give him an alotted time, then unlock the door and walk in and tell him, his time is up. Better than a photo of you!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions