Getting My Kids Out of My Bed

My son also slept with me until he was almost 3 1/2. Then I got pregnant and tried everything to get him to sleep in his own bed. Racecar bed that is. Still didn't work. When I had my babyshower at work several of my co workers pitched in and bought my son a new scooby doo comforter and sheet set as well as a large scooby doo stuffed animal. When he saw it he was thrilled and that was the first night he slept in his own bed and every night after that.

I think what you are doing is good. You just got to stick with it. I'm a mother of 10 year old twin boys. They have always done everything together.

V.,

I am a recently single mom with a 3 year old son and 1 year old daughter. Both children have slept with me since day one. When my soon-to-be ex-husband lived here we bought extra beds for our son. I was pregnant at the time, and my ex didn't want two babies in bed with us. His first bed was a firetruck toddler bed, which we put beside our king. At the time, he was just over 2 1/2. The only thing he liked to do was play in it, and I quickly figured out that a toddler bed wasn't comfortable for a pregnant mama. Later, we bought bunk beds that came with a twin trundle. The bunk beds went up in our son's room with bedding that he really liked. We put the twin trundle beside our king, and tried laying with him there. He still didn't like it. I am very AP and do NOT believe in cry-it-out so I never forced the issue. Soon after, my ex left for other reasons so I just continued co-sleeping with both children.

Last week I was babysitting a five year old boy who had never tried to sleep away from his mom or dad. He was upset about going to bed alone so my son offered to sleep with him. He spent half of two nights in his own bed after that, and all of the last three. His birthday was in June, so he is not quite 3 1/2. I know this is long. I guess my point is that your boys will go to their own bed when they are ready. If there is that much resistance obviously they still need that time with you. My son showed NO signs of wanting to sleep alone, and just did it all of the sudden. I'm sure it will happen for you soon. Good luck!

B.

You definatly have your hands full. I had the same problem with my daughter, now 3, and luckliy got my son in his own bed now, he's almost 1. Anyway, you might try a reward system, that's what I did with my daughter. Kids love to be noticed for good deeds and really like to get rewards. I put up a calender above her bed and everynight that she slept in it, by herself, all night, she got to put a sticker up for that day. After a week she got to watch a special movie, then she had to do it for two weeks and once she hit that she got to do another fun activity. I then went for a whole month, and she did it, which in turn she got to go to the store and pick out a new, small, inexpensive toy. By the time she hit the first week or so in the month it wasn't a struggle and once we hit the month mark, we stopped using the chart. I now have more problem with her going to sleep, she thinks she will miss something. Hope this works, but if you have questions about it, let me know. P.S. Since you have twins they may compete to see who can do it better, and it may work to your advantage.

Hi V.!
I had that problem with my two girls so what I did is about 9:30pm I would turn all lights off in the living room with just the t.v. on and I would sit in the middle with each one of them on either side of me. When they went to sleep I would carry them to bed and leave the t.v. on in their room but with little volume. Then after doing that for a while I was able to say "ok time for bed" and I would help them to bed in their rooms. For right now because they are young I think it helps my girls that they sleep in the same room, but of course different beds. Good Luck.

Hey V.. My advice is probably the opposite of Bridget's. I have 2 boys- 2 and 5 months. My 2 year old slept in our bed until he was over a year (my 5 month old is co-sleeping also). I didn't know how to get him out of the bed either, and I felt awful about making him cry. One day, friends of ours were over until late, and they have a little girl the same age as our son, and my friend said, Just let him cry it out. I was really reluctant to try it, but it helped having friends there to support (and sort-of distract) me. I don't think he cried for 10 minutes before falling asleep. He still sometimes cries when its time for bed (I think he thinks he's going to miss something when he's sleeping) but he will willingly go to his room and lay down in his bed. It never takes long for him to fall asleep.

Also, your boys are much older, so talk to them and explain that this is mommy's bed, and these are their big boy beds. Play with them in their rooms during the day and get them used to their beds, and they'll be more willing to lay down at night. Do they share a room or have seperate rooms? I know that a lot of times, twins do better together, so maybe if they're together, they can soothe each other. Even if they end up in the same bed in their room- they're still out of your bed. Hope this helps!!

R.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. I HAVE 4 EACH SINGLTONS SO NO TWINS. ANYWAY WE ALWAYS PUT THE BEBIES IN BED WITH US. WHEN MY OLDEST WAS 6 WE FINALLY GOT HER IN HER OWN BED, OUR SECON WAS 4 BUT SHE HAD TO BE IN THE SAME BED AS HE SISTER, MY 3RD WELL HE IS 6 AND SOME NIGHTS HE WILL SLEEP IN HIS BED MOST OF THE TIME IS IS CUDDLING DADDY, AND MY 4TH SHE IS 1 AND I AM NO WHERE NEXT TO LETTING HER FLY SOLO. MY POINT, IF YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THEM, IT ACTUALLY DOES MAKE A CLOSER BOND BETWEEN YOU AND THE KIDS I HAVE FOUND. THEY FEEL SO SECURE WHILE BEING WITH YOU, BUT IF YOU DO WANT THEM OUT I FOUND WITH MY OLDEST TWO, A NIGHTLIGHT IS A MUST, MAKE SURE THE DOOR IS OPEN IF IN THEIR OWN ROOM. IF IN THEIR OWN ROOM MAKE SURE YOU STAY UP WAY PAST THE POINT THEY FALL A SLEEP THAT WAS THEY STILL HEAR YOU ARE UP AND REALIZE YOUR IN THE NEXT ROOM AND DURING THIS TIME PEEK IN EVERY 15 MNUTES. IF THE BEDS ARE IN YOUR ROOM (THIS IS HOW WE STARTED OUT) LET THEN HOLD YOUR HAND. WE ACTUALLY HAD OUR BED AND HAD THE GIRLS A FULL SIDE BED AGAINST OURS AT A DIFFERENT LEVEL SO THEY STILL FELT THEY WERE IN OURS, THEN AFTER THEY MADE BUDDIES WITH THAT BED, WE FINALLY MOVED THE TO THEIR ROOM. I KNOW I HAVE RAMBLED BUT HOPE SOMETHING YOU READ WILL HELP.

V.,

To get my daughter to transition from a toddler bed to a twin size bed, I let her play a huge part in her room design. She got to pick out her bed, her sheets, her decorations, and where everything should go. She felt like a big girl and as a result, wanted to sleep in her bed. Even though starting off, she would only sleep for a half a night in her bed and the other half in mine (until she was 4), she fell asleep in her bed. This may help your sons want to sleep in their own bed!