Getting My 5 Month Old to Sleep in a Crib

Hello,
I am a grandmother to a 5 month old girl, born August 19. Anywho, she was having a difficult time sleeping in her crib as well. We raised the mattress on the one side to create a higher level. This was she felt an incline. Later we learned she has acid reflux and by lying on her back flat she was uncomfortable. She is also peaking the charts at 90% growth. Her last weight was 17 lbs in Dec. I hope this helps you.

CINDY

I sort of had the same problem as you. My daughter would sleep fine in the crib at night but would not take a nap in the crib. She would only sleep in the swing. So for a couple weeks we had her sleep in the swing right next to her crib with the room set up just as if she was taking a nap. Then we moved her into the crib but still allowed the swing to play the music and rock. And then finally moved the swing out. It had it's ups and downs but she ended up in the crib.

I too have a 5 month old baby (little girl) and she has been sleeping in her crib since she was 3 months old. What i found that works is to try to put him in the crib when he is slightly groggy and then he falls asleep in his crib.. We also have ocean wonders by fisher price and that helps my daughter fall asleep...Also maybe on the weekends try to put him in his crib and play with him so he can get used to it. I hope this helps.. if any other questions feel free to ask.

H.

I know you hate the thought of it, but we found the best solution was to let our children "cry it out." He has to learn to find methods of soothing himself, as well as learning to sleep in his own crib. It was heartbreaking at first with our first child...those first 5-10 minutes felt like hours...but after a two or three days, she grew accustomed to being in her own space, and being able to go to sleep on her own. We followed the same method with our son, and both children (4 and 2) are happy and good sleepers!

my daughter never slept in her crib. she slept with us until she was about 1 1/2 then we put her straight into a toddler bed.
You could try to put the crib matress directly on the floor and lay with him, then creep away when he falls asleep. Just be sure to use a gate to block off the door and make the room safe for him even though he is not crawling yet, they can get into stuff! Also he is only a couple of inches up if he would roll off the matress he would not get hurt.
Good luck!

Have you tried putting his bouncer in the crib? My daughter four the longest time had to basicly sit up when she slept. But she has out growen it. She also was a big child. between 6-9mnth she wieghed around 23lbs. Best of luck!

As other moms have said, he likely prefers the upright position and being slightly cuddled by the bouncy and swing or your arms. this could be because of digestive issues or he may have ear infections which are more painful when laying flat. We put lifts on one end of our sons bed for both reasons and it seems to work well for him. it is only about an inch or inch and a half compared to the other end, but it is all you need. once he starts rolling around and moving in his sleep, you may want to take them out though. keep trying, try not to let him fall asleep in your arms either, but wait until he is really drowsy and when you lay him down try to stay as close as possible before removing your arms from under him. best of luck. it will happen soon.

When my sons would fall asleep on our shoulder and we would try to do the transfer into the bed, they also woke up but we figured out it was because the bed was cold and it sort of "shocked" them. I took a heating pad (on low of course for safety) and warmed up the matress. After the heating pad warmed up the surface,I removed it and laid my son down on the nice,warm sheet. Of course you have to make sure that the surface isn't "hot" and make sure you remember to unplug the heating pad once it is taken off of the bed.

Does he have a "lovey"? That might help with the seperation. Also maybe try getting him use to the surroundings of the crib by putting him in his car seat or bouncer in the crib. Then work from there.

I know it's hard, but you gotta let him cry. Put him to bed awake and then if he starts to cry, go in and check on him every 10-15 min. Touch him and talk to him til he calms down. Tell him it's ok, your only in the other room. DON'T pick him up. When he calms down, leave the room. Repeat this until he falls asleep..... he'll start to learn to self soothe. I did this with my daughter when she was only 3 months old. The first night she cried for 3 hours. The second night only an hour, then it was basically over. She is 15mnths now and goes to bed and down for naps GREAT!!

I actually had the same problem with my son. What someone suggested to me that actually worked was a heating pad!
I found that he liked the warmth of my arms and the "surrounded" feeling which he gets in the bouncy seat or swing. So I would put him to sleep in my lap with a heating pad in his crib making it toasty warm so when I put him in he stay asleep! I couldn't believe it worked(don't forget to take the heating pad out of the crib)
But now I am also thinking-It could be Acid Reflux(my friends daughter had this problem) and when you lay him flat thats when it hurts, but in the bouncy seat or swing-it keeps his head raised enough that it doesn't hurt.
Good luck

Hi S.!

I totally agree with Tina A! I think that it’s not that your son doesn’t like the crib, it’s that he likes sleeping in a semi-upright position. When he is in your arms, the swing and the bouncer seat, he is not lying completely flat. When in the crib and pack-n-play, he is laying completely flat. It could be something digestive, like Tina suggested, or it could be more of a tactile issue--- he may not like the difference in pressure between sleeping flat and sleeping semi-upright.

This is a temporary solution, and a little on the pricy side, but I know that there is a hammock bed that they make for infants--- as-is, it only works up to 25 lbs, but you can buy an alternative spring from the company that will work for up to 40 lbs. That will get you several more months of semi-upright sleeping for your baby. By the time he’s 40 lbs, he will be big enough that you can give him a pillow or two to sleep with in his crib (or maybe a bed by then) so that he can sleep with his head and shoulders elevated. You may be able to find a hammock crib from someone you know--- a lot of kids DON’T like to sleep in them and then they never get used; I know there are a lot of “used” hammock cribs out there that have never actually had a whole night of use! Here’s one place that sells them new: http://store.babycenter.com/product/on+sale/nursery+on+sa...

Good luck!

I completely sympathize with your situation. I have 5 children (ages 6 and under) and my first put me through the ringer when it came to sleeping. I have to admit that I did every thing you shouldn't do...nurse to sleep, rock to sleep, walk to sleep and after I got too exhausted she would just spend the rest of the night in bed with me and my husband. When I found out I was expecting twins (my oldest was only 12 mo. old!) I just about died! I was already sleep deprived and now twins on the way...desperation set in. I asked everyone I knew with kids what they did to get their babies to sleep and my step-brother's wife (who we lovingly refer to as the "sleep nazi") had the best advice. She told me about a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Mark Weissbluth and it became my bible for the entire pregnancy. I followed the "2hour rule" for the first 6 months of the twins life and they were and are awesome sleepers. My 4th and 5th children are pretty good too. The bottom line is put your baby in his crib when he is tired but not asleep. For most babies up to 6 mo. that means being awake no more that 2 hours at a time...the book explains this in much more detail and gives lots of great advice. Gook luck!
T. M.

I recommend the book, 'No cry sleep solution'. Sorry, but I'm forgetting the author off the top of my head. Its a very popular book tho. It talks about transitioning your child slowly to the crib without crying it out. It is a much longer process that may take some endurance on your end, but it may be what you are looking for. A second option is one many moms don't talk about, but many do. My pediatrician actually told me to do this with my 9 month old, which worked. I gave him one dose of Benadryl before bed and then did his bedtime routine. He will cry, but become sleepy and learn to fall asleep. The key is ONLY 3 nights in a row and after that, he should not cry too much and then fall asleep without it. This is a huge obstacle with many parents. I wish you the best of luck and encouragement that one day soon you will meet your goal!

It sounds like he is having problems adjusting to lying flat. You may want to try elevating one end of the crib mattress/crib. You can put a couple of phone books under the end of the mattress. This is perfectly safe and is recommended when your child is congested to help with drainage and easier breathing.

Though it could be nothing other than preference on the part of your child, please bring it up with the pediatrician. I don't think it is anything for you to worry about and don't want to scare you but it could be an indication that there is something wrong. Like I said it is probably nothing but it is better to let your pediatrician know and let him take a look just to be sure. When my little cousin was a baby, she would scream when anyone laid her down flat when she was sleeping. It was the only thing that really came up as any kind of symptom. When she was a little over a year, they found out that she had a hole in her heart which she had surgery to correct at 18 months old. She is doing fantastic. She is a happy healthy teenage cheerleader now. As I said, I don't want to frighten you but I would have him checked if he was my son just to be sure there wasn't anything medically going on to cause him to fuss when he is lying down. When they would lie her flat, it would cause a buildup of pressure on the heart which would make her scream. My aunt slept with her in a rocking chair or put her in her swing for about the first year of her life.

As I said, it is probably just a matter of preference (cold sheet, flat surface, means it's not Mom) so try the phone books but in the meantime, bring it up with the pediatrician at his 6 month check.

Sorry if I've scared you at all. I don't mean to. I just know from personal experience that sometimes the most innocuous looking of symptoms can actually mean something horrible or NOTHING at all.

Oh, and please do not follow the advice of anyone telling you to put stuffed animals or pillows of any sort in the crib. This are a SIDS danger and definitely NOT worth the risk.

Good luck.

You HAVE TO let him cry it out. The problem is that you and your DH didn't teach him how to fall asleep on his own, so now at 5 months he expects to be lulled to sleep. Let him cry. He will eventually learn how to sleep on his own. I know this sounds harsh, but in my humble opinion, it's the only way. Good luck.

S.,
Just in case, have you had his ears checked? If there is pressure in the ears it makes it difficult to lie down and be comfortable.
I too struggled with the crying it out bit so I put my daughter on a bed or blanket on the floor and nestled and rubbed her back until she fell asleep that way. After a while we could transfer her from a lying down position on the bed to the crib. Good luck!

Small children cannot communicate with speech yet. If he is crying he is trying to tell you something. He may need to let off steam about his day, may be overstimulated, may just need some closeness. He may be "telling" you that he's had a hard time about something. You may never know what it is and what is more important is that he gets to vent about whatever. Our society is quick to quiet children down and not allow feelings to be stated. It's also hard to listen because we've all been told to be quiet. If he gets to cry with some good attention from you, (and it may be more than 5 minutes), he will probably sleep real well. This will not happen in one day and I don't think you should let him cry alone for too long. That gets to feel hopeless and like you're not there even if you are. You may need to vent to someone else, NOT your son, about how hard it is to listen for a length of time but it will be worth it and your son will grow up smart and strong.

I remember the days! I'm so glad my kids are grown, but I do remember this advice when faced with the same problem. First, while he is awake let him spend time in his crib a little while at a time, when he starts to cry pick him up and reassure him than put him back a little while. do this frequently so he can get used to it and not think of it as a scary place.
The same thing goes for transferring him. Put him in his crib after he falls asleep, when he cries just go to him and rub his back or pat his back to see if you can get him back to sleep before picking him up. Try for a little while (5 minutes minimum) than if he seems to be coming more aggitated, pick him up and get him back to sleep whatever way you usually do. He should start staying in his crib longer and longer as you do this, usually takes about 2 weeks before he will stay in the crib.
Personally, my kids slept in the bed with me and my husband until they were about 18 months, than they camped out around the bed with their blankies. When we wanted alone time and closed the bedroom door, when we opened it, they would be camped out on the other side!
But when they were babies and didn't want to fall asleep in their crib, it was easier to just bring them to bed with us! Nowadays you have to be careful of that though. . .my how times have changed.
Good luck!
V.

You are conditioning him with your response to his crying. If he is not in pain, his diaper is dry, and he has been fed. His fussiness won't hurt anything. He will eventually fall asleep in his bed if you leave him there. Perhaps you could use a soft blanket to comfort him. But if you continue to pick him up everytime he fusses, you will condition him to fuss. My son was similar and it wasn't always easy but you are the parent and must be the one in control.

Hope this helps.

D.

Hi - my son was similar - and all this I started after he stopped breastfeeding and was taking a bottle - I got him to sleep in his bed in steps - first i sat next to him held his hand or he would put my hand on his face until he fell asleep and then I quietly left the room - it's not easy because at first he cried but I felt at least I am in the room with him and I would sometimes have to do it several times a night (at which point I would throw an air matress on the floor and sleep next to him - the point was though that I never picked him up and he got used to his bed and his room - slowly it changed he would sleep through the night. After a few weeks I sat in the room but not next to his bed (again he cried not a lot and after a few nights he was fine). Now I am at the point where I sit next to the door and soon I will stop waiting until he falls asleep and gradually shorten the time I sit in the room. Every transition comes with some crying but I just pick him up put him back in bed - no talking, no cuddling just back in bed.
I think you have to take your time and do it gradually - however you do it and don't stress

The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be. You have let him get used to it. That is what babies do, to try to test things, and see how much they can get of what they want. It's instinct. You have to leave him cry for a bit before he will go to sleep, then after he realizes he can't get his way, he will get into the habit of going to sleep without crying. You cannot give him any attention when he is crying to get his way, or give in. You don't want him doing that when he's older. They just get worse and worse if you give in. As long as he isn't hurting, there is nothing to feel bad about. You can tell the difference if you listen. They are different cries. The attention cry is kind of fake sounding. The "i need something" cry is a little worse, and the pain cry is really bad. If you listen carefully you should be able to tell. You also need to make sure bed time and nap time is the same everyday and night. 7-7 was perfect for my son, with an hour nap in the afternoon.

A successful transtion requires that you be consistent. Once you decide it is time to for your son to sleep in his crib, put away the other options for good and don't give in and go back to them even for one night. I had this same situation with my first born and I should say that I am totally against the cry it out method, I think it is unnecessary and mean. A transition is a gradual change and doesn't happen all at once; it takes a bit of time and a lot of patience. I handled this situation by placing my daughter in her crib and patting her bottom and rubbing her back until she fell asleep. She would often try to get up and I'd just lay her down again and keep patting and singing or humming. At five months you shouldn't be placing him on his tummy, but you can place him on his side a little so that you can pat his bottom. Some nights I'd do this for over an hour and I felt like my arm was going to fall off, but after a week or so my daughter started to fall asleep faster and faster and it eventually got to the point where I could pat her bottom for just few minutes and walk away before she was all the way asleep. The whole transition took about a month, but it was well worth it because she wasn't alone in her crib crying for me and I didn't have any guilt. I also really believe that by staying with her while she got used to her crib I instilled trust and confidence in my daughter which I can see to this day.

I totally understand not wanting to let your son cry himself to sleep, my partner and I struggled with that ourselves. However, as hard as it might be that may be the only resolution to get him in his crib full-time.

You might want to start out gradually by laying him in his crib and sitting in his room (do you have a rocking chair in his room?), he will still probably cry, but at least he will know you are there. He may cry for an hour, but know that it is not hurtung him and he won't remember,(this is how we broke my son from sleeping with us, the first night he cried for 3 hours). The next night you might want to leave him in his room by himself, and let him know you are there by going into his room every 10-15 minutes. The key is to not pick him up, it may be hard but try not to.

I used the book "Babywise" as a reference when trying to get my son on a sleeping schedule, it really helped.

Good Luck and stay strong! Before you know it he will be sleeping through the night :)

Jane was the exact same way. She didn't completely give up her swing until she absolutely had to. She was 10 months at the time she just seemed to be way too big for it. At around six months she started letting us put her in her crib for naps and sometimes the first part of the night. Eventually we just worked our way to longer sleep stretches and recently she just started sleeping the whole night in her crib she is almost 11 months now. All I can say is some babies are great sleepers and some are not...some babies are okay with the crib and some want to co-sleep or they like the snuggleness of the swing.

One thing is you have to let them cry it out. I know that is one of the worst things for a mother to endure! Another thing that I used to do with my kids when they were that age was to get a hot water bottle or a "bed buddy" (found at rite aid (rice filled bag that can be microwaved). Before you are going to put your child to bed, place the warm bed buddy or warm water bottle in the bed. Remove it when you are ready to put your child down. The bed will then be warm like you are and it's not as much of a shock to your baby. And also, SWADDLE your child in a blanket. (PLEASE do NOT use an electric heating pad....if you were to forget to remove it it could cause serious harm to your child!) Good luck!

Mother of 3 wonderful boys 11, 9, and 4.

My first liked her crib, and slept like a dream, right from the day I brought her home, never had a single issue. My second, ugh, I swear the girl could hear my eyelids closing... Funny enough she's my best sleeper now.

Anyway, I'd also made the mistake of letting her learn to fall asleep in my arms, so the conversion to the crib wasn't smooth. When I'd decided I'd needed to correct that, I started out by putting her down in her crib while I puttered about the room, putting laundry away etc, so she got to realize it wasn't a scary place.

At the same time we developed a bedtime routine... same thing, every night; supper, bath, (vanilla in the water, smells like mother's milk and helps them relax) cuddle time and then into bed while still awake. She'd cry, and I'd go visit, soft lights, soft voice, reassuring touches, etc. When she tried to get me to pick her up I would, briefly. I'd hug her and give her a kiss and put her back down and leave the room again. Altogether it took about two weeks to get her into the routine.

My third went straight into the crib from the hospital. By then I was too busy to sit for long.

Hi, i had the same problem with my son...he would sleep in our arms or his bouncer. He wouldn't sleep in the crib. So we bought a stuffed long dinosaur that was a little hard so it would feel like a body was laying next to him. He would sleep straight through the night after that. He just needed the feeling of someone laying there with him. And this dinosaur was longer then him so it would feel like an adult.

I think the idea of elevating one side of the mattress seems to make sense. None of my 4 kids actually slept in cribs as infants, and none were left to "cry it out" either. They range in age from 4 to 9 now, and are all great sleepers.

My first slept in her swing for naps and I went through a similar "how are we going to wean her out of that?" after she was a year old and I was pregnant again (my kids obviously are smaller than your son). For my daughter, then again for one of my sons that I knew I was going to need to bring with me to a 4 day childbirth educator training workshop when he was 5 months old, we worked on getting her/him used to having a particular doll with her when she/he fell asleep. Then it was a bit easier to get her/him to fall asleep anywhere.