Getting Dressed and Undressing

Updated on April 08, 2008
C.M. asks from New Orleans, LA
22 answers

Hello! I have a two and a half year old little girl and she is having trouble learning how to dress and undress herself. She never went through the whole stripping down to the bare bottom phase. I guess she was to busy getting into everything else. At her two year old check up the doctor mentioned that it was time for her to learn how to get clothes off and on. I have been trying hand over hand but she is just not intrested. When she does try she gets very easily frustrated with it. Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks so much!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for the responses! I was feeling the same way as alot of you when it comes to her being to young. It makes me feel alot better to know others agree. I am going to take all of your advice and just play with the idea with songs and ect. but wait on her to be ready to do it on her own. I really want to thank you all agian!

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D.L.

answers from Tulsa on

DON'T sweat the small stuff. Every child develops differently and 2 is an average. I definitely don't remember my son dressing himself at 2 or 2 1/2. Make getting dressed a game every day and let her do as much as she wants and eventually she will be doing it on her own. Just like potty training every one is different. I have never seen a healthy kid enter 1st grade in his pj's and diapers. lol. good luck

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M.B.

answers from Lawton on

Why do pediatricians always think kids need to develop according to some arbitrary schedule? Don't worry about it, she'll get the hang of it in her own time. My oldest daughter got very frustrated with getting clothing on and off around that age, but she put it aside and picked it back up a little after her 3rd birthday. At that time, she didn't have a problem with it. All kids learn and develop on their own schedules. She'll be able to put her own clothes on eventually. What's the rush?

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T.R.

answers from Little Rock on

Hi C.. I agree with most of the posts here in that you shouldn't push your child to do something she isn't ready for just because the dr. said she was. My first daughter started dressing herself and was fully potty trained by 20 months; however, my second daughter is 28 months old now and shows no interest whatsoever in either. All children develop at a different rate. I don't think it's a bad idea to try to teach her, but don't get frustrated with her or be pushy about it. Having said that, we got a "learn to dress yourself" type of doll for my oldest daughters first birthday that was kind of neat. It has buttons, snaps, zippers, lace ties, and velcro places on it and you can also take the pants and shirt off and on. Maybe something like that would help. It is a fun way for her to learn.

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L.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

Two and a half seems like a terribly young age to be dressing oneself! I've never heard such a thing. I wouldn't worry about a thing like that for at least another year.

Probably if you talk her through the routine, after a while she will want to do it herself and be a big girl. Because she is resisting right now, that probably means that she does not feel ready and it is probably intimidating for her - which, at 2 1/2, is completely understandable. The stress of pushing such things will cause for her, and how that stress can express itself more generally through a day (or interfering with sleep routines), probably won't be worth it to the family.

And here's something to get you through the frustrating moments, whatever shape they take. In Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, Becky Bailey points out that at such a young age, till about age 4, children are so absorbed by just figuring out all of the colors, shapes, sounds, simple concepts, interactions and the vast array of stuff they're being bombarded with that comprise daily life, that it can be hard to get them to focus on a specific task. We adults are so used to it that we forget that it's a whole lot to process. Their minds are already so full of information and everything is so new to them, so as frustrating as it can be, Bailey recommends using a lot of patience. It'll be easier on you, too!

Good luck and have fun with your little one!
L.

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T.P.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

Hi,
I'm a marine wife with a 2 and a half year old. I kind of disagree with the doctor. 2 is a little early to learn dressing. Undressing is definitely easier, but don't push it if she's not interested yet. Many kids just don't have the hand strength and coordination until they are around 3. Another important thing is to really get excited about success, but pay no attention to failure. Otherwise she'll be frustrated and want no part of it. We have started with shoes and socks and pulling down pants for potty-training. My son recently got his first crocs and he can actually put them on by himself...he LOVES that! Some pants he can pull down, but others he can't. Just keep in mind that some kids mature faster than others, and some develop interests at different times. She will likely become interested in the next year or so. If you think she's having too much trouble with her hands (can't hold crayons or breaks them easily or can't use a spoon) mention it to your pediatrician so you can be referred to an OT (occupational therapist) or PT (physical therapist) for strengthening.

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J.H.

answers from Dothan on

Everychild is different. My ped never asked this question. My now 5 1/2 year old just took a large intrest in clothes about a year ago and changes herself on her own, sometimes. But I do have to say she did play with dress up clothes aroun 2 1/2 and 3 we never focused on the whole clothes thing. It just happened. Play clothes could be a huge help large socks, hats, large button shirst, large tee shirts and skirts. Anything goofy you havein the back of the closet or you find at a garage sale make for dress up clothes. I wouldn't pull my hair out over this. Just make it a fun new adventure for her.

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J.C.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

My twins will be 4 July 25, they just within the last couple of months began dressing themselves. They had the undressing part down by age 3, but just not the dressing. It just takes some kids longer to figure it out and get the fine motor skills needed to dress and undress themselves.

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S.S.

answers from Lawton on

Encourage but don't push. When she's ready she'll let you know.

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K.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If i were you i would try ot make up a song to sing that has to do with putting on her clothes and seeif she can sing it with you and do as the song says as she singing it and if she likes music and dancing before you know it she will be dressing and undressing in no time. Then maybe you could make up another rhyme for when she gets her clothes on and she can dance to it. I just suggested that because my 3 children love to sing and dance and i used that to help me with a lot of things especially cleaning up their rooms. They don't like to clean up and before they knew it their room was clean and they hadn't even realized that they had cleaned it up all by themselves.

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Y.E.

answers from Jackson on

Enjoy dressing her while you can. Once she gets the hang of it it will be"I do it myself mommy!" The being a girl she will want to change all day long! Then you will wish for the day you dressed her. Even after she learns there will be days she will just want you to do it.

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K.W.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Stop worrying about it. If you stress about it she will stress about it and that is never a good thing. Just because the Dr. said she should be doing it doesn't mean she is ready to do it. She will start doing it when she is ready, trust me. I would walk away from the issue for at least a week. When you think she is ready you can try something like letting her pick out the outfit and helping with the pieces you know she will get frustrated with. Then hand over the pieces she can do herself. Don't be surprised if one day she does this fine and the next she does not even want to try. Don't push it because then it will become a battle of the wills. You could then try laying out the outfit she picked out then "have to leave the room for a minute" and see what she does, she may just start trying to do it herself. I don't know if you pick the outfits for her but if she gets to help pick out the outfit she will probably be more willing to put them on. Remember the most important thing is that she will do it when she is ready, so don't stress. Good luck

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J.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Don't worry, my son was almost four when he learned because he just wasn't very interested. She'll pick up on it when she's ready.

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L.J.

answers from Birmingham on

She'll figure it out and I would do whatever it took to not make it frustrating for her. I dressed my children for years and helped them to pull off clothes and pjs. It would have taken extra time and loads of frustration for them to take more effort and time than that is worth. They'll learn and will be doing it alone in no time. Do whatever is best for them at the time. Ignore the dr. on this one.

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H.S.

answers from Baton Rouge on

lol. I love all the suggestions. My 2 1/2 yr old daughther picks out her clothes and says, "Mommy do it". No luck with her and shirts/shorts, but she can do shoes. I'll be trying the song... that helped with brushing teeth, so maybe it will work again.

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L.C.

answers from Birmingham on

My son was the same way. Showed no interest and got frustrated really quick. I gave up and let him do it on his one time - when he wanted to. At about 3 1/2 he could dress and undress himself and it was not a battle. My daughter (2 1/2) took interest in it really early and can do it now. I think it really just depends on the child and what they find interesting. I would not worry about it!

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C.T.

answers from Fayetteville on

My daughter is 3 1/2 and still wants my help some of the time. While she was learning I tried to make sure the tops were roomy and would talk her through it rather than doing it for her, which is so hard, sometimes I felt like i had to sit on my hands. You can let her pick out her clothes (if she doesn't do that already) and leave her alone for a few minutes to see if she will even try. You could find some fun "dress up clothes" to practice with, like vests (easy to put on) and fancy shoes and hats that will give her confidence in her dressing ability and make it fun. You could also take her shopping and she could pick something out and you can tell her "this (dress, shirt, etc) is a special dress, since you picked it out-only you can put it on, this dress doesn't want mommy to put it on you" something silly like that (I taught pre school, most kids like that kinda stuff!) I've also found that off is easier than on-particularly if she likes bubble baths!

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S.W.

answers from Tulsa on

just keep working with her, but don't push too hard. different kids develop at different rates... when she's ready to do it on her own, she will... just enjoy where she's at right now.

P.S. Just because your peditrician says she ready for soething, doesn't mean she is... pediatricians are hired to guve health/medical advice (because that's what they're trained in)... not parenting advice... trust your own mama instinct.

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S.S.

answers from Fayetteville on

One reason to learn how to get clothes on and off is learning to be totally responsible in the toilet. They aren't really potty trained unless they can get themselves there and go by themselves. Which means getting partially dressed and undressed on a regular basis. I agree not to push it (getting dressed and undressed or potty training) because that can lead to resistance on her part. If you talk to her while you are dressing her and show her how things work, she may take an interest in trying parts of dressing and undressing her self. You can say thing like 'This is how the zipper works: you hold this part and pull it up and down' while you 'demonstrate.' Sometimes it looks like so much fun to make something work, they want to play with it. You can also tell her whatever else might help her to know how to dress herself as you do it. 'When we put on your pants the label goes in the back; then we put in one leg, then the other, then pull them up.' Or if you have buttons, 'we start at the top, (or bottom) and put the button from this side through the little hole on the other side, see?' Talking about it and showing them gets children interested in how things work. And if she is interested, she might want to try to do it herself. Do not expect perfection. I still need help now and then with things that fasten where I cannot reach them, or I'll ask someone's opinion about whether or not things 'match' with each other. It also helps her to be interested in dressing herself if you let her choose what to wear. I agree not to push it; there is plenty of time to learn this.

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M.E.

answers from Jackson on

You are just in time, loose summer clothes are easier to learn on!

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A.M.

answers from Fayetteville on

One of the best ways to teach children to get themselves dressed and undressed is by playing dress-up. I have a HUGE tub filled with all sorts of cool clothes that my daughter loves to try on, but she knows that if she wants to wear the pretty dresses, she has to put them on herself. This is also what I did when I taught preschool to help my class learn the same skills- they always loved it!

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

There's no set age for a child being able to dress and undress herself. And a lot depends on the clothes - my daughter got the hang of t-shirts, elastic waistbands, and zippers pretty easily, but the fine motor control needed for pushing buttons through buttonholes, lining up the two sides of grippers, belt and shoe buckles, and tying shoelaces took a little longer. Also, jeans are harder for little fingers to button than shirts, simply because of the heavier fabric.
I found that when I started taking her to the store with me and letting her pick out what clothes she wanted to buy (subject to my approval of course) and then let her put together her own outfits in the morning (even if they didn't match), getting her dressed was much easier and she started learning to do it herself.
Even after she knew her left from her right, she had difficulty telling which shoe was which, so we took a Marksalot and put R and L inside her shoes so she could tell them apart.

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S.C.

answers from Texarkana on

I am so glad to hear that your daughter is doing the same thing! My daughter will not be two until May, but she has NO interest in taking off her clothes. I try to get her to, but she is very unconcerned. I believe that if she really wanted to she could do it....but she just doesn't care for changing clothes in the first place!!

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