Getting Daughter to TELL ME When She Has to Go Potty!

Updated on March 12, 2010
O.K. asks from Buellton, CA
10 answers

I am on week 2 of potty training my 2 year old daughter, we are doing rather well as far as going in the potty. She has (except for twice) gone pee/poop when I put her on the potty and we have had way less than one accident per day averaged out (this evening was a bad one, we had only had one accident up until now *sigh*) I have been unable to figure out how to get her to tell me she needs to go so I have been putting her on the potty every hour or so - except for tonight we have had MAJOR success with this.

She has a FIT if I try to put a diaper on her during the day and cries and says "dirty mommy, clean me" when she has an "oops" so she is very gung-ho about the whole adventure. She has made it through the past 2 nights without even peeing her diaper!

I am just absolutely STUMPED on how I can get her to tell me when she needs to go! She detests being wet, always has, used to make me change her constantly or she would take her diaper off (figured out how to undo the sides at 7 months) so it isn't as if she isn't "into" the idea of staying clean and dry - it is just the PRE-mess as opposed to the POST-mess that we are stuck on - any magic tricks ladies???

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So What Happened?

*sigh* I was hoping for a "magic trick" but it looks as if I am just going to continue with put her on once an hour(ish) and see how it goes - on the bright side we had another night with a dry diaper in the morning :)

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C.T.

answers from Denver on

I've heard there is such a thing as a reminder watch that kids can wear that you can set to whatever time interval you choose. When the alarm on the watch goes off, they know to try to use the bathroom. She may be too young right now but it's an option to help her gain control of her own body and elimination.

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A.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

She is still learning! Give her more than a few days to get the hang of it. My daughter has been fully potty trained for 6 months and i still have to tell her to go sometimes. She will learn her body cues the more she goes. I say, keep putting her on the potty every hour for several days and then give it a try. If it gets to be 2 hours or more since she last went then simply remind her. I would bet in a month she"ll have it down.

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H.V.

answers from Las Vegas on

My 2 year old son has been potty trained for just over a week. I, like the other person who posted, threw away ALL diapers and he's been in nothing but underwear since. The first day he had 3 accidents right off the bat and I told him "You need to tell Mommy when you have to go potty." Then I would tell him every 10-15 minutes all day long, "Tell Mommy when you have to go potty" and eventually, even on the first day, he did! No timing, no telling him to try...just told him to tell me. That way they're sort of "taking control" of their potty situation rather than going on demand. She may also be confused by the diapers or pullups...she might be forgetting when she has one on or when she doesn't... If she really hates peeing herself and it's running down her legs, she'll figure out the signs of when she needs to go so she can tell you.
I used a method by Lora Jensen - it's a 3 day method of nothing but your child in underpants potty training with you by her side. It was a lot of work, and I know there is still plenty of time for regression (my fingers are crossed!) but I am SO crazy happy with the results. He had 2 wet nights (the 1st and the 3rd) and an accident on day 4 (when daddy was on duty - haha) but nothing but dry undies and bed since then...and NO poop accidents whatsoever. I'm about to have another baby and will be saving the booklet for when it's time to train her! You can find the method online...it's such a simple plan, but might contain the magic trick you're looking for. Good luck!!

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K.N.

answers from Houston on

My son's teacher is wonder. She uses the words, "Push the poo". Although my son doesn't want to tell me either. I have to make him sit on the potty. Also, the pull ups are good. And sometimes I just have to turn off the tv, take him by the hand (or feet) and walk him into the bathroom. This is not an easy, as I do this I tell him that he is a big boy now and this is what all big boys do. One day he will get it.

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M.K.

answers from San Diego on

This sounds normal for being in the early stages of learning how to use the potty. I might suggest more frequent trips to the potty at this stage -- every 25-30 minutes. This seemed to work well for us, and is what my daughter's pre-school does when they first start.

It sounds like she is doing really well so far. In my experience, you can expect an accident or two on some days for many weeks and then an occasional accident for months.

Good luck! Potty training is hard work, but it's so fun to watch them learn to master it. They are so proud! Keep a lot of changes of clothes around and try to keep a sense of humor!

C.S.

answers from Charlotte on

Tell her when your going, maybe she'll start copying you

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

It takes them a very long time to start telling you. My daughter is brilliant about it when we are out in the world, but at home she gets easily distracted. I think part of it too is that they think they can hold it a bit longer. My daughter does this thing where she goes, "go after X." She keeps putting it off and then she has an accident.

Learning timing is very, very hard.

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

From my experiences with my kids, getting them to tell you they need to use the potty takes time...a long time. I think it was a few months for my kids. I would keep putting her on the potty at whatever intervals you have chosen. Wish I had more advice for you.

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

She's still learning, give her time! Until she starts initiating on her own, just remind her to go every so often. She likely won't 'tell' you she has to go, she will probably just start taking herself. Until she does, just remind her.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Good Morning O. (Cool Name)
There are no tricks, Two things reward and discipline, and NO DIAPERS, by putting diapers on her, you just confusing her, every time you put a diaper on her you are sending her the message that it's OK to poop and pee on yourself, because that's what diapers are for. When I tool my 3 out of diapers between 19 and 20 months old I never went back to them only used training pants (Not pull ups either) over the past 13 years I have successfully potty trained dozens and dozens of tot's all before age 2 with training pants and reward and discipline, all my daycare parents were so grateful that their tots were potty trained with out stress and distress. J.

Updated

Good Morning O. (Cool Name)
There are no tricks, Two things reward and discipline, and NO DIAPERS, by putting diapers on her, you just confusing her, every time you put a diaper on her you are sending her the message that it's OK to poop and pee on yourself, because that's what diapers are for. When I tool my 3 out of diapers between 19 and 20 months old I never went back to them only used training pants (Not pull ups either) over the past 13 years I have successfully potty trained dozens and dozens of tot's all before age 2 with training pants and reward and discipline, all my daycare parents were so grateful that their tots were potty trained with out stress and distress. J.

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