Getting Baby to Sleep on Her Own

Updated on February 27, 2008
E.S. asks from Utica, MI
16 answers

I have a 4 month old and she sleeps wonderfully at night in her crib, atleast 8-9 hours, but only when we rock her to sleep. We have been trying to put her down drowsy and let her try to fall asleep on her own. She crys for 5 minutes, we go in, soothe her, then wait another 10 minutes, then another 10 minutes and she usually crys herself to sleep within 30 minutes but it is absolutely breaking our hearts to hear her cry, any suggestions to make it easier? She goes to daycare in about 4 weeks and I want her to be able to put herself to sleep as I know the childcare center can't spend an hour waiting for her to sleep in their arms.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

I am happy to say that we are on our 5th day and our little girl falls asleep on her own, she has learned how to self-soothe herself. There really is no secret to it, we just put her to sleep drowsy every night, keeping up with our typical routine (cereal, pj's, then bottle) and the first couple of nights it took her 30-40 minutes, but now on our 4th and 5th day it only takes between 5-15 minutes. AND the best part is no more 5:00am feeding, she sleeps until 7:30am. They eventually figure it out, the roughest part is on the parents. We just kept keeping in mind that when she cried, it wasn't because she was sad, but because she was PROTESTING, and I kept that thought in the back of my mind the entire time (it helped to get through the heart wrenching crying). It was as if she could talk and was saying, "No, I don't want to sleep by myself, come and rock me now!" Thank you to all for your advice.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Saginaw on

Don't worry about what other caregivers do, unless you have standards for your daughter's care that you think they aren't going to live up to. Then, you have a completely other problem.

What kids will do with strangers they have no reason to trust is very, very different than what they need and what they will expect from their parents.

Be assured... rocking a child to sleep is a simple pleasure for everyone that hurts no one in any way and you will miss it before you know it's gone. My very clingy 'baby' is now 16, and she has a great deal of independence and has absolutely NO interest in being anywhere near me when she falls asleep.

Don't hurry your baby out of babyhood. She'll be an adult for a lot longer than you'll be the mother of an infant.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Detroit on

She is far too young to let cry to sleep. I really think you need to rock her. I had the same concerns with my son when he went to day care at 3 months old. He learned to fall asleep on his own, as a matter of fact day care helped with that. They do not have time to rock them all, but they also do not want one baby waking all of them. If you have a good day care, they will do their best to get her down.

Be thankful that she sleeps as well as she does. My son only slept 5-6 by the time he went to day care.

They grow up too quick, love her, rock her, do what feels best. She will learn to fall asleep on her own, but when she is a little older.

As far as the woman who regrets it, I am sorry for her. There will come a point when you will have to cease rocking her to sleep. You will rock her until she is drowsy, then put her in bed. There are several books out there that discuss getting your baby to sleep without crying it out.

I wish you the best of luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.T.

answers from Detroit on

Hi E.. Babies are just so wonderful! Have you tried taking her to her pediatrician? My now six year old daughter did the same thing when she was a baby. It turned out she was colic and had a little bit of acid reflux. I used a vibrating bassinet by Graco to soothe the colic a bit (a good reason she liked being rocked), and rolled recieving blankets stuffed UNDER the head of the mattress. This helped the acid reflux. Babies with acid reflux, don't like to lay completely flat! Their spit-up milk contains acid from their stomach, and while laying flat, it burns her throat(again, another reason she likes being held. Her head is elevated while she is in your arms)! Try elevating her slightly while she sleeps. Best of luck! Enjoy, because they grow up so quick!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.W.

answers from Detroit on

E.,

My daughter is 4 mos and I put her to sleep the same way. Usually she will wake aup briefly when I put her in the ccrib. She is also at daycare and they will rock her or hold her if necessary to get her to sleep. They love to hold the babies (assuming there is not another child with an urgent need). You will also be surprised that children kind of adapt to daycare (I call it "baby school") and will slept better/eat better there than they will at home sometimes.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.Y.

answers from Detroit on

I have a 9 month old boy and I started letting him fall asleep on his own around 3 months. He would of course cry for about the fist week or so but each night it would get easier and easier. This has been the best advice that I give to moms! Its so nice when your child can be laid down and fall asleep on their own. He usually goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps til 6-7 depending if goes to daycare or not. I know its hard to let them cry it out but believe me its all worth it when you lay them down, walk out of the room and have some me time!!! Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Learning to put themselves to sleep is a skill babies need to develop, so it might take some time for her to learn how do it. She might be a little bit young, I didn't stop rocking my son until he was about 6 months old. Maybe wait a month or two and try again? I wouldn't think the daycare would give you a hard time for needing to rock her...you are paying them to care for her after all! Although I have a friend who has twins and they have been putting themselves to sleep since they were born...she doesn't have time to rock them between feedings so I'm sure it won't hurt her either.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Though it breaks your heart to let her cry, remember that her crying is not necessarily that she is sad or that you are neglecting her in some way by letting her cry for a little while. Babies communicate by crying. Sometimes it is to communicate something is wrong. Sometimes it is because they are not getting what they want. Or sometimes, of course, it's just the diaper or hunger. You are not neglecting her by putting her to bed at the same reasonable time every night. Though it may take a while for her to get the picture, in the end, you and her will both be happier once this difficult time is over. The hard part is giving her what she needs, and not what she wants all the time. Remember, you know what is best for her as Mommy and you call the shots. Even when she is a baby. Hope this adds some light to the situation. I don't claim to be an expert or to have all your answers. Every circumstance is different.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.T.

answers from Detroit on

Hi E.,

To be honest, I still rock my son who is 8 months and I have a very hard time thinking about giving it up because it is our nightly bonding routine. We usually put him in his crib sleepy but still awake and he then falls asleep on his own. At this point, when he wakes up at night he sometimes is able to put himself back to sleep and other times isn't. I have found that there is no one way that is best, and all babies are different. My daycare provider rocks him for naps sometimes during the day, and other times he goes in his crib and falls asleep on his own. He kind of marches to his own beat :) All I can say is enjoy the time you have with him now, and don't worry about daycare, they will do what YOU ask of them and rocking your daughter to sleep is not a big deal for them. Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.V.

answers from Detroit on

I think you're doing great. One option is to use a swing....that helped with us (in getting more sleep & keeping from having to rock for 1/2 hour or more), but then you might lose some of the progress you've made wiith the 'cry it out' method. At that age, I would recommend to go ahead and rock her, if that's what you want to do. In my opinion, she is too young to cry it out - they are learning/developing trust. As a mom of a nearly 2 year old, I rocked my son to sleep until he was a year old (or rocked him then put him in a swing). Then worked on crying it out (still rocked him before bed). Now we just have cuddle time before bed, sometimes rocking, sometimes not. They grow so quickly, cherish every special quiet moment or routine you can with your precious little one!! As far as the daycare goes, I agree with the comments that they are being paid to rock/soothe her....so if that's what it takes, so be it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.O.

answers from Detroit on

hold that baby and rock her to sleep.

any good childcare center will hold and rock babies.. that is what you are paying htem for.

she will eventually learn to fall asleep on her own.

but she is too young.

at least stand by her crib so she knows that you are there.

they grow up so incredibly fast = rock her while you still can.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.L.

answers from Detroit on

E.,

Your baby is way to young to cry it out. She does not know that she is "crying it out" to get a good night sleep. She just knows that she wants to be held and rocked and no one is there. My son is 9 months old and I still rock him. When I go to set him in is crib he sometimes start to cry a bit but I just rub his tummy and tell him it's okay (not that he knows what it means ) and he realizes he is safe and falls back asleep. Also, I have music that I play while we are rocking and while he sleeps. During naptime I play the Baby Einstein lullaby music and at night I have a cd that a family member made that is fabulous that I play for him.

OH! Another thing I learned is that it is easier when his room is almost fully dark. I use to keep the lamp on next to the glider (because I read him at least two books before sleepy rocking) but he wasn't getting drowsy. Once I turn that light off he realizes that it is time to sleep.

I will rock him as long as he wants to be rocked. My husband loved being rocked when he was young. He rocked before bed until he was 6 or so. He knew that is what he wanted to do before he went to bed and I think it is because his mother rocked him before bed when he was a tiny baby. People are RIGHT, we do need to cherish the chances we have to cuddle and rock. If it is cutting into your sleep maybe start rocking earlier so that you can still get to bed at a decent time. I am a person who goes to bed late so my son does as well. May God bless you and your time with your baby. And Good luck to you!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hey i have a 21/2 year old boy and a 5mos old girl. My boy is an excellent sleeper. The best thing for a child is routine. Bath, brush teeth, read books, pray, sing, kiss, music. That is my childs routine. He asks to go to bed now and he is an excellent sleeper. Did i let him cry it out, some what. You have to have a good balance. Best book advice for nursing and sleeping is whispering baby by tracey hoeg. My 5mos old same has a bed time routine and puts herself to sleep for bedtime and all naps. Read this book please it has been a great help to me.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Detroit on

My four month old still prefers to be swaddled during naps at daycare and at night. I use swaddleme by kiddopotamus. It velcros so I don't have to worry about her in her crib. Hope it helps! http://www.kiddopotamus.com/p_swad.php

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from Saginaw on

This worked for me it took a while but well worth it. When you lay your child down to sleep, stay in the room make no eye contact just stay in the room. Every night position yourself closer to the door, after a while you'll be able to walk right out the door and they will soothe themselves to sleep...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.R.

answers from Detroit on

I would love to say hold her and rock her to sleep. That’s what I did and I regret it. I don’t regret holding her; I regret not teaching her how to fall asleep on her own. My daughter is almost 20 months old and I still lay with her to get her to fall asleep for naps and at bedtime.

My advice is to teach your baby how to fall asleep on her own. It will be so much easier for both of you in the end.

Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Lansing on

I have a 10 month old who just started putting herself to sleep about three weeks ago. Up until then, her father and I rocked her to sleep everytime she was ready to sleep. It wasn't even rocking. She never really fell for that. We had to sit and stretch our legs out and then lay her (on her stomach) on our legs and rock her. Granted, it was annoying, but she felt comfortable and slept great. I never rushed her to do anything. We only began letting her fall asleep on her on when she satrted showing signs of wanting to do (i.e. Laying on the floor around nap time or coming to us and laying we head on our laps). Once we realized she was ready, we began laying her in her crib with her head propped up (drinking while laying flat can give babies earaches) and giving her an 8 ounce bottle. It works like a charm. She goes to bed every night at 9 and sleeps through the night as she has done since she was three weeks old. Babies will let you know when they are ready for the next big thing. I think that uahing them and letting them cry it out only makes it harder for everyone involve. Plus, they get so big so fast you are going to miss it when they won't LET you rock them to sleep anymore. Enjoy it. I miss baby being small enough to rock in my arms. I may be super liberal on the whole baby thing, by it he worked for us. If anything, indulge yourself and continue to rock. Good luck.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches