Getting a Young Boy Ready for Kindergarten

Have you thought about Alternative Kindergarten? It is only for kids with summer birthdays. Teachers say that it is like a gift they wish they could give to all kids, and those who do it have leadership skills that help them in Kindergarten. I am sending my son (who will be 5 in June) to Alternative Kindergarten (AK). The more people I talk to, especially teachers, the more I hear to wait on all-day Kindergarten for boys with summer birthdays.
Think down the road too, when they are in 9th grade and the youngest in the class. Personally, I would advocate waiting or AK.

Hi H.! I had my son attend a summer program at his school 3 day's a week. He got to know the school, kid's, and some teachers. So when the big day did come he did GREAT! Good luck!

Hi H.
If you are worried about him not wanting to get up. I would start trying different bed times and see which one lets him wake up on his own at 7 or whenever you think he should be up to get ready.
If you are worried about him not liking school you may want to put him in preschool or at least a preschool playgroup so he starts to understand you are not the only people he needs to listen to. If you have more ?'s feel free to contact me Good Luck :) T.

Hi
I have some great books to help get your son ready for school. You can view a full ____@____.com/T2427

I started with my son about a month before school adjusting to the new routine. Getting to bed earlier and on time, waking at the same time, providing a list/chart of chores that need to be completed in the morning (get dressed, make bed, eat, brush teeth/hair ect.) By adusting bed time and wake up time by 5-10 each day won't make it seem like such a big change.
Talk about all the fun new things that he'll be doing/seeing, and new friends that will be made.
Good luck

I suppose it depends on what your exact concerns are, but my oldest will be 5 in Auigust, and he will start kindergarten this year as well. I thought for a moment about waiting a year, but there seemed to be no overwhelming reason to do it. He'll have to start eventually, and I don't think he'll really be any more ready in a year. Academically, I'm comfortable with where he is; we've always read a lot, and he knows his letters and can count reasonably well. He's not in preschool, but I do day care and have started using this curriculum with the kids: http://www.letteroftheweek.com/index.html It's designed for homeschooling parents, and we're not planning to homeschool, but it's just right for the academic kindergarten preparation, learning the pre-reading skills. There is also a series of books he loves, called "Get Set for Kindergarten." They each discuss a different content area (like science or reading or geography) and have exercises you can do with your child. He's enjoyed the activities as well as the chance to talk about what life is like in kindergarten.

We had his registration in late February, and we had a chance then to meet the teachers and the principal, see the classrooms and walk around the school. If you have specific questions, I would definitely recommend calling or emailing the school principal; ours was very helpful with all kinds of things and said we can come by during the day as well to see what it's like when students are there.

As far as the morning routine, I have naturally early risers, but we don't have much of an established routine, so I'm definitely going to be trying out the other parents' suggestions!

Good luck!

H.! That is so exciting! I am a big proponent of play. You could build it into your own schedule- and call it school time. You could invite stuffed animals, or his other friends and do things you might do at school. You could have his bear be the teacher etc... start of with just a 1/2 hour and then grow the time a little. You can tell him you are practicing for REAL school.
There are books at Target that are numbered for level of reading. We have one called Biscuit goes to school- my son loves to talk about going to school. Positive and clear communication with your kids pays off! It gives you a reference point for when they do come to the magical moment of going to school- you already have a conversation started and you are in the drivers seat instead of all the emotions that come with the transition.
However no matter how much you talk it up or spin it as cool, there will be some heart ache and transition.
Do you ever leave your son at a friends house, to start him knowing how to separate from you? also the summer is coming up, does your community ed have any little kids programs like soccer or book clubs that he can do on his own?
Also, you may want to find your own support because you will go through a lot too- missing him etc... Your kids can see straight through you and if you are scared, they will be too. He's going to be looking to you for absolutely every ounce of guidance and modeling his attitude towards change.
An older mother once told me, you can't protect your kids from the world, you can only help them have the skills to cope with the world as it is.
Good Luck- He's going to do great! and so are you.

Hello H.,

When my son turned 4(April birthday) I sent him to preschool. It was only half a day and to tell you the truth, I had a harder time of it and I cried(alot). Everytime the bus came to pick him up I turned around to walk back to the house and I would start to cry. My heart was elated when the bus would come back after school to drop him off. I wanted to jump for joy as my baby got off that bus. To him, he had wonderful times at school and couldn't wait to go every day.
The post that JenniferM O wrote has wonderful info in it and another tip is to let him help you lay out his clothing at night so he just has to put it on in the morning. If you forget and don't lay it out, you may need to help him in the morning because you will throw him off.
My baby boy is now 7 yrs old and we still do the same thing, but he lays out his clothing by himself now and gets up with an alarm clock. My clock is set 10 minutes earlier than his so I can be dressed and fully aware if he doesn't get up when his alarm goes off. Give yourself and him plenty of time in the morning so you are not rushed. We even study in the morning sometimes. Turning on the tv for 15 minutes is a treat before school, but don't get sucked into it becomeing a habit.
I also set my timer on my stove to go off 15 minutes before the bus is due so if I am not paying attention, this will grab my attention. ( he is also learning how to tell time and may get ready right before the timer goes off)He gets his outside clothing on and goes to play outside but will be waiting for the bus.
It's all in routine.
Getting to bed early and rising early. Plenty of hugs.
I have the privelege of sending my daughter this coming year(she'll be 5 yrs in November)She will be an OLD preschooler and I wish I could have sent her this last year but her birthday was after the cutoff date. SHE is TOTALLY ready for kindergarden this year but we have to go by what the schools policies are. I know I will cry when she goes off to school too but that is just reality.
I have heard that for us Mom's, we take it harder than the kids do. For me, so far, that's true.
I agree with the summer programs and getting him used to not being with you. Even if your church has a child care area. This will help to let him know you will see him again.
There is tons of great information that these Ladies have here.
Just remember: Getting to bed early and rising early. Plenty of hugs.

Good luck and great question.

L.
SAHM, married 9 yrs w/ Boy(7yrs in April), Girl(5 yrs in Nov), Boy(3 yrs in April)

I'm really enjoying all the responses to this post because I also have a summer birthday 4yo who is eligible for K this fall. I love all the tips people have and we will definitely be visiting the library.

While we are still trying to decide if our son will go to K this fall, I am getting tired of people who simply say that we should wait because he is a boy. Here is a link to a very well written and well researched article that looks at the "myth" of redshirting (holding a child back a year) and the reality. http://journal.naeyc.org/btj/200309/DelayingKEntry.pdf

I think it is really important to move away from these blanket statements and look at each individual child as well as the way we are teaching kids.

It seems to me that the poster wasn't asking if she should send her son to K, but instead how to best prepare him for the transition.

I apologize if this is a repeat since I admit I didn't read all the responses. We used to read "The Kissing Hand" to the children on the first day of preschool. I think the author is Audrey Wood. The book is basically about separation anxiety and shows how the Mom and boy say goodbye in their own special way. Not sure if that is part or your concern or not.

As for the morning routine...you can set up a checklist using pictures with the words underneath to show him what he needs to do each day. He can easily check the list to make sure he's ready. You can also pack the backpack the night before (maybe have a spot near the door where he can place it so he just has to grab it on the way out). You can set out clothes the night before. Some parents even have the children choose their clothes for the week and put them on shelves or in baskets labelled for each week day. This cuts down on some of the morning "battles."

"Froggy goes to school" is a great book. Another one is "Spot goes to School." There are loads more that you can either do a quick search for online or ask your local librarian to help you find. They are usually more than willing to help find books on specific topics.

I would also suggest you get your son into the routine of going to bed at a certain time and getting up at a certain time several weeks before school starts. That way he has the routine well established before school starts.

You could also ask his future Kindergarten teacher for suggestions. They deal with this concern every year :)

Best of luck.

One advice if not ready for school in the morning. When school started, if our boy wasn't out bed a certian time. I put clothes in his packpack including a jacket and shoe. I carry him to the car with the packpack. Drove to the school and park the car. He was carry to the prinple office with his pajams on. Check to see if this is acceptedable. Since that day he is been getting up every morning and little reminder of the prinple.
A.

I am stay home mom with one in Kindergarten and 2nd child about 17 months old.

Hi,
I think it is perfectly normal to have these fears, but remember your son can sense what you are feeling. If your worried about it, he will be owrried about it. Everything new is a transition. Think about all the differenct phases you have been through and how well you got through them. Talk it up, make it seem like a fun and exciting new thing to start. Help him make positive connections with something else new he has started like preschool, a sport, a new childcare provider.

There are some great children's books (picture books) about Kindergarten and the first day of school.

S. G

Good luck!
S. G

If he will be five this coming August, don't send him! Boys need more time to mature and school is not what it was when you and I were in Kindergarten. Better he be just six and starting school, then he doesn't have to struggle and strain to stay with the pack.

SAHM of seven, used to teach public K-1, have homeschooled 15 years

The transition to kindergarten can be stressful for some kids, and others welcome the opportunity to get out of the house. You will know right away how excited he is about it based on how hard it is for him to transition.

Although there are plenty of books about kindergarten at the library, consider your strategy up front in the event that he is unhappy once it starts. I would suggest being flexible about whether or not he goes every day... giving him a day off now and then once the first full week of school is over and he has settled into it.

Also, stay on top of activities he will be doing in school. Some activities will give him a lot of incentive to get up and go. You will, however, find that some days your children won't want to go to school no matter what they may miss. They just need a day off - much like us adults!

The two weeks before kindergarten starts, I would have him start getting up at time that he would have to go to school and keep your days structured so he's used to following a schedule.

All my children started preschool at age 3 (though the oldest didn't go when he was four) and so were already familiar with the school and the morning routine.

As far as other helpful info, my kids' school puts out a list of "Basic skills that would be helpful when children enter kindergarten". These things are great ideas for things to work on before he starts school.
-Self care skills, such as fasten/zip coat.
-Ability to say first and last name and parent/guardian's name
-Ability to say complete address and phone number.
-Ability to say birth date and print first name.
-Recognize 4 basic shapes: circle, triangle, square, rectangle.
-Ability to say/sing alphabet and recognize some upper and lower case letters in random order.
-Ability to count from 0 to 20, recognize numbers 0 to 20 in random order.
-Ability to speak in complete sentences.
-Ability to listen.
-Ability to follow a sequence of two-part directions.

K. - Mom to two boys, ages 7 and almost 6, and one girl, age 4.

I made a chart for my daughter in the morning. She would put a sticker next to "brush teeth", "get dressed", "brush hair" etc. She still has a chart to this day...she is in 1st grade now...and she still loves doing it. If you go to your local library, there are several children's books about the first day of school, also. I know for sure that Froggy has one, and I know there are others, I just can't think of titles at the moment! Also, go over the day with him before hand so he'll know what to expect, with the major events of the day. "First you will get up and get ready for school, then eat breakfast, then you will wait for the school bus. When you get there you will listen to your teacher and play with other kids, and eat lunch, have a rest, and then get on the bus and come home!" Make it sound fun. If you sound worried, he'll be worried. They pick up a lot by our emotions. So sound happy and excited as if you were going somewhere special. Good luck!

My son turned 5 last June, and he started Kindergarten this year, and he has done wonderful! He enjoys it, he's excelling, and I have no regrets sending him as a 'young 5'. I would have had serious regrets if I had listened to the pressure around me to hold him back, because there was no reason to hold him back. Being a 5yr old boy isn't a medical disease, and Kindergarten teachers know this. My son has a kid who turned 7 in January in his class, and also two little girls who were 7 in February, and from volunteering in his classroom they are disruptive in the classroom, they are TOO OLD to be in Kindergarten!

I realize your son wouldn't turn 7 in Kindergarten, but if you feel he's ready, then send him! STart a morning routine in early August. If he's never been to a preschool program, then start one at home. Get him to write his name, numbers, letters. Practice with puzzles, coloring books, counting with little objects (my boys LOVE buttons!) and working on shapes and colors! At 4, he should already knwo his alphabet, colors, and numbers to an extent, so just build on that. Don't drill him, but make it fun, and he'll be ready for Kindergarten.

I really do think that a year of preschool is very important for kids to get a good start into Kindergarten, because they have that exposure to the classroom setting. So if he'sn ever been in a preschool, then I might consider doing a yearof preschool before Kindergarten. But if he has has preschool, then go for it, send that boy to Kindergarten!

There are all sorts of great books for getting ready for school. If you go to the library and tell the librarian what you are looking for she can give you a whole list of them. One of my children's favorite's was Froggy goes to school. They liked it because it was so silly. We have a bunch more, but I can't think of the title. Once the end of summer comes around our library usually has a whole section set aside for going back to school.

If you don't think he's ready by the summer- then hold him back another year. September is the cut off date for OPS I believe, so you son would be one of the younger ones in his class. It really wouldnt hurt to wait another year.

my son is in all day kindergarten and his birhtday is may 2nd. i don't regret sending him to all day but i did send him to preschool at the age of four. is there a camp around you that might have half day camp. that would be a great start to get him warmed up for all day school!!!

If your son is not turning 5 until August I would wait another year. Our son turned 5 in May and we waited until he was 6. Here is the reason: First, my husband was adamant about him starting late due to the athletics, etc. issue. I wasn't completely sold on this. My husband stated how much bigger and stronger he became his first year out of high school and always wondered what opportunities he might have had if he had started school when he was a year older. Good point... but here is what convinced me: We had 2 older daughters at the time. We had our son's speech tested when he was 4 because it was hard to understand him and he wasn't as fluent as our daughters. Well, the testing revealed that he was completely normal FOR A BOY. Every one of the speech patterns that they tested a boy masters 1 1/2 to 3 years behind when a girl masters it. That did it for me. If speech is effected by the gender, what about all other learning and developmental areas? I believe we were right about this. Another example, in 2nd grade the kids are expected to know 150 sight words. After the first quarter my son only know less than 20. I wanted to make sure we jumped on this and didn't get behind. After talking to his teacher, she said wait until after 2nd quarter. Well, at that time, he had masted over 120 words!! Something clicked. If we would have started him when he was 5 (a year earlier) he would have already been placed on a remedial track and labeled for special education. He is now an almost 6 foot 7th grader, with great grades and already saying how it will be "cool" to be able to drive earlier than his friends.

If you feel there will be any kind of struggle at all, you shouldn't be sending him to school yet. I work in a school system. I have seen so many children who have summer birthdays struggle because they are socially immature compared to the rest of the class. Sometimes this doesn't show up until the teen years. I am against sending children with birthdays after June to school. I think it hurts them more than it helps them. I do have two kids with August birthdays. My daughter would have been fine going at the age of 5, but I didn't send her. In 7th grade,She now excels in every class, sport, and even scored at the college level on the basic skills. My son needed that extra year, mature wise to be ready. He is now in 1st grade and tests in reading at the 4th grade level. You may want to consider waiting a year, if you are having these issues. It almost sounds as if you aren't sure you want to send him.

I would say start getting to bed earlier and up earlier that way you wont have to deal with the getting up time issue about the what to expect, has he had any type of schooling, like preschool or daycare? if not you might want to do some kind of structured thing over the summer to start getting him used to that

If you can visit the Kindergarten classroom and building where he will be going, take him to see it a couple of times before the school year starts, so he can get used to the surroundings beforehand.

For morning routines, start now. Do as many of the morning activities as you can starting tomorrow. Do them in the same order every day, and he will know what to expect. Get up, get dressed, eat, brush teeth, etc. Make a photo or picture graphics chart of each morning step that he can follow. The day before school starts, do a "dry run"- do the routine by following the photos, then drive him to the school building and be really excited that "tomorrow when we do this you get to go INSIDE the school and have school all day!" If he'll be riding the bus, pretend your car is a bus and imitate the bus driver.

My son is only 2 yrs old, so we have not gone thru all this yet, these are just ideas I have read in parenting magazines, but this is what i plan to do with my son when we get to that point.

Having said that, not all kids NEED the extra security of doing all those things. My son is a lot like me, he needs to get acclimated slowly and take the time to get used to and familiar with things before he is comfortable. But his cousin of the same age is a fearless, jump-right-in child and his mom will be able to drop him off one day at Kindergarten with no extra preparations.

You know which type of child yours is, so tailor your plan to fit his needs. (of course if he is easy-going and you aren't, you just need to figure out how to best keep yourself calm!

what we did was every morning we went through the (what would be the morning routine) for when they started for school...we used a stop watch (the kids loved it) we started the first week with getting up a little bit earlier...if they got up at 8:30, every morning we movedit up by 15 minutes...until we reached the time they would have to get up for school, then we tweaked it depending on how they were in the morning, i have one that loved to get up and another that didnt AT ALL!!! SO with my youngest that didnt like to get up, we gave him an extra half hour to just be until it was time to get ready...we then showed them how the routine would go and we'd mark on a chart how quick they got ready correctly (breakfast, brushed teeth, got dressed, ...and they got a prize if they could do it 5 days in a row...

I know it sounds like a lot of work, but it saved so many headaches in the morning...

and we had them lay all of their things out the night before...

Good luck and enjoy this exciting time...

Deb

ps. i have a recipe for a school bus cake if you'd like it!

I'm a Kindergarten teacher myself. I always tell parents one of the BEST things you can do for your child is to read to them, daily! This should go on even after they're reading for themselves. I know it seems obvious, but it's one of the easiest, most helpful things you can do for your child.
Other things would be to help him gain independence. Tie his shoes, helping pack a bag for swimming, zipping his coat...just little things that he can start working on and helping with by himself. Also, as it gets closer to school, help him adjust his morning routine, if he's a late riser.
Things like singing ABC's, pointing out colors, writing his name and holding a pencil, counting as he sets the table, folding laundry together and making it math related (daddy has 3 shirts and you have 5...who has more? how many all together?). This way he's starting to get into that school thinking without even realizing it!
The last suggestion would be to visit the school, so he can see what it will look like and what they might do every day. This could prompt some questions on his part that you can answer ahead of time.

My daughter started full day kindergarten after turning 5 years old Aug.29th... Her birthday is right on the border.

I really regret sending my child and should have waited til she was 6 instead she's very bright, in the gifted program etc., she just had a very hard time adjusting etc... But that's another topic.

Starting in August give him a full month to adjust start having the whole house wake up early whatever time he'll need to be waking up for school and start a early bedtime.

My daughter was coming home exhausted and would fall asleep all the time between 6-8pm sometimes missing dinner.

That is tough...I have a 4 yo boy who turns 5 in May and I have decided to wait to send him to full day kindergarten until he is 6. He will go to 1/2 day optional kindergarten in Grimes next year. I just feel another year of prepping would be more beneficial, he doesn't seem as ready as my older daughter did at that age!

Is he on a regular schedule now? If not, start a schedule . . .every morning get up at the time he will need to be for school. Practice getting dressed and go to the library for story hour or anything like that to get him in the routine of getting up and out every morning. Also, call the school and see if they offer a time when he can come to school and see everything. Many schools offer a "kindergarten for the day" type of program where the children actually go to kindergarten and check out everything even the busses. If your school doesn't offer this, see if they will let your son meet his teacher ahead of time and explore the room. This will help him feel more comfortable in a new situation.
I am sure you are already working on him printing his name and recognizing it, colors, alphabet, etc. Perhaps you can even do a mini-kindergarten at home to get him used to school routine.
Lastly, if you are really nervous he will be so RELAX he will have a wonderful time! My husband took our daughter to school for the first day and he was so worried about her when they got to school she said, "Bye, Dad" and HE cried all the way home! :-)

If you are worried about the adjustment because you think the change may be to much of a shock to him and he is not quite ready, I would wait a year. I think holding boys back on the border is a good thing in most cases because of many of the reasons others have said here...physical size as they get older, learning differences between boys and girls, ect. I do not believe you can do any damage by waiting a year, but I think it is possible to do "damage" by sending a child too early.

My daughter is in full day kindergarten right now and I will say it has been a real adjustment for her.....and she was more than ready. Academically and socially I could have sent her to kindergarten a year early. She was use to getting up and being away from me during the day since I work. She was use to do school work since her day care provider did work things. She also was in dance, gymnastic, swim classes for a couple of years so she was use to structured sitting. Our district has a 4K program that is two full days a week. Even with all that going everyday all day has not always been easy on her--and with a November birthday she is one of the oldest in her class.

My son just turned 4 in March. He is so much different than my daughter....best way to describe him is that he is all boy. He to does swimming and gymnastics and has been in daycare, but with him I could see more prep was going to be necessary to get him ready for school. This year I have him in 2 half day preschool classes. Next year he will do the two full day 4k classes. So hopefully by the time he is all day kindergarten he will not drive the teacher to early retirement.

If you think he is ready for school, what I would do this summer is get him ready for the schedule by keeping bedtimes and getting up times. Since you are a stay at home mom I am not sure how much he has been exposed to being away from you....I can see that the seperation has been a real issue for some of the kids in my daughters class. Enroll him so summer courses where he has to be away from you and with other people.

If you have any doubts at all if he is ready, I do really think holding him back would be a good thing. Enroll him in a preschool program a couple of days a week, so he gets use to the idea of going some where.

Good luck.

Hi H.,
Kids are usually very adaptable to schedules. I had the same problem when my kids (I have 4) first started kindergarten.
Before my oldest went to school, I worked evenings and they were used to sleeping in (so was I). I had to change our bed times and getting up time, so we could be ready for school. It was hard. Now in August, I make them get up early, and go to bed a little earlier, so when school starts it is not such a shock.

If you want to get your son ready academically, the best thing you could do is read to him everyday. Just learning to sit and listen is a skill they need to have. Also, have set aside time just to color or draw. Good luck and I hope he does great.
V. A

Hi H.,
Try making the day more scedualed for your son this summer, have "story time" (get him used to sitting and listening during story time and ask him lots of questions about the book like "what do you think will happen next?" or "Why did Jack need to sell the cow?") and have "snack time" and "recess" and "coloring time". You can also buy him a lunchbox and serve him a packed lunch from it. If he has not attended pre-school, look into some organized group activities such as a summer day camp (though many are only for older children) look into the programs that you local library offers, learning to sit quietly through story time with other chilren and learning to participate in group activities is so important. You can also spend time practicing the alphabet and learning to write his name, those are some of the first things that he will need to know in kindergarten. My older daughter went to kindergarten this year and I was surprised at how academic it has become! She has learned to read, she has spelling tests, and her school really emphasises science and the natural world so she has been learning all about birds all year. Recognize the fact that even when school is fun, it is also a source of stress, esspecially now that such young chilren are expected to be in school from 8-3 and learn things that we didn't have to learn until 1st grade! When you son is home you can help him release some of that stress through physical activity (like playing outside, running, climbing, jumping, or if the weather is bad doing exercises in the house like dancing to music, or even areobics or yoga or taichi) and you can make him feel safe and happy by just having some cuddle time and doing activities that he enjoys doing with you, baking or playing with blocks or whatever you two like to do together. Good luck, it will be a big challenge for you and your son when he starts school, but you will be so amazed by his capabilites and all that he can learn and do now that he is a "big kid"!

Does he do any programs outside the home now? I would be more concerned about the routine than the academics. I had my son in all day preschool this year, and he has been in home day care prior to that. During the summer, we do a ton of Community Center sponsored activities. It's just getting them in the routine of doing and socializing during that time. Find things that you can do with him during the summer. The drop offs are the worst. I hated the tears, but they made an easy transition to all-Day Kindergarten.

And don't be afraid to hold him back if he isn't ready. There's nothing wrong with being an older Kindergartener, especially for boys.

Let me preface this by saying every child is different, as we all know. My son also has an August birthday, and we waited until he was 6 to send him to Kindergarten. We debated a lot because mentally he was very ready. My peditritian said you need to consider 3 factors: mental, social and size. Even if he's only behind in one of those areas it could really make things difficult. I do believe some kids are ready at 5, (and I'm talking about the younger 5 year olds with a summer birthday) however, from everyone I've ever talked to you can do young children a great disservice by sending them to early. Kids mature significantly in one year. I've only heard people say "I wish I would have held my child back for a year." Never "I wish I would have sent them earlier." With that said, if you are going to send him at 5, I would definately try to get him on a schedule of waking at the time he would for school (at least by mid-summer). Which also means a consistant bedtime. And hopefully he's had some preschool experience so he knows what it's like to be away from you and taking instruction from someone else. Best of luck with whatever you decide!