Getting a 13Month Old Out of the Family Bed into Own Crib

My advice would be to start slowly. So, maybe let her fall asleep in your bed and then put her in her crib. Then, after about a week or 5 days, start to lay her down in her crib. I do not recommend letting her cry it out. You could also put her in the crib for daytime naps so she gets used to it. Where does she nap currently?

I had a difficult time with my son (now 4 years old) and found myself breastfeeing him in his crib (crazy!) So, just be consistent with what you decide to do. Good luck!

Take Care,
F.
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Here is what we did

first we assembled his crib in our room and lined up her mattress with our mattress and left off the drop-side of the crib so our bed just extended into his crib. and we slept there together for about a week while i continued to nurse him during the night. then the next week he still slep in her crib next to us and I didnt nurse him in the middle of the night. this was the hardest week. but we stuck with it and he finally learned to sleep without waking for nursing through the night. once he was comfortable in his crib butted up to our bed, we put the drop-side on and he slep still right next to our bed for a few weeks and then eventually i pushed the crib to the wall, away from our bed, bit still in our room and he slept there for about a week. finally we moved the crib to his own room and he has slept there ever sence.

we are currently working on the same seperation with our daughter who is 8 months. I am at the stop nursing at night point. she is doing well and we hope that it will work the same way as it did for her brother.

hope this helps. it is a long process but well worth the wait.

Hi:

I had to move my daughter to her own crib at about the same time. (She is 20 months old now) I started putting her down for naps in her room, leting her play in there with some of her favorite toys and really focusing on a bedtime routine (at the same time every night she breastfed, brushed teeth and got a story). Over the course of two weeks we made some progress, but she would still end up in our bed. Finally, we ended up letting her cry for a few minutes (5-10 at most)... then pick her up, stay by the crib, let her fall asleep in our arms and then put her back into the crib. It was tuff, but it worked. Now, we tell her it's bedtime and she runs to the bathroom, grabs her tothbrush and I help her brush her teeth, she chooses a book, and then lies down all on her own and goes to sleep.

It was really hard for me, but a little bit of crying was a good thing. I think it's important to teach your children early on that you are the parent, and some structure is a good thing. This will help prepare you too for what is in store for you as she gets more mobile and assertive (keeping her safe will be harder).

Good luck and enjoy being a Mom. It is the most wonderful role!

Hi E., there are a couple of good books that have a gentle way of accomplishing your goal. You may have alreadyread them but I'll suggest them in case you haven't. The first one is The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley & she has a lovely web site too. The second is Good Nights by Jay Gordon. They are full of great suggestions that are gentle & nurturing. I hope this helps you.

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Dear E.,

Tell her in the morning that she will start sleeping in her own bed tonight - then spend the day with her helping you make her own bed very cozy and comfortable, let her baby doll and other toys sleep there today for a nap, and get her to sleep there for a nap to 'practice'.

Just before her nap,(and before bedtime too) read her two stories, and then to bed for a nap (or night sleep). Have soft music playing if you can, nothing jazzy. You might even play classical soft music, that will help .

Then, that night, when she starts getting out or calling you, go in and comfort her again, and put her back to being comfortable. When she cries, then she just cries. This is the hard part, and a warning to wantons - if you let her back into your bed one single more time, you will have hell to pay. It is up to you. Congratulations and good luck, C. N.

Hi E.,

I am a 30yr old mom of a 2yr old baby girl. I nursed her for 15 months and co-slept with her for 11 months until I really needed to get her out of our bed and into her own crib. My husband and I never let her cry herslef to sleep and she also NEVER took a bottle or a pacifier, and she never used a "lovey" like you hear in a lot of advice pieces. We put her in her crib and really explained to her with respect and maturity that she is a big girl and that this is her super cool new bed. Big girls sleep in their own beds and that mommy and daddy will always be there with her. So i spent quite a few nights (months) of walking her before bed, making sure she had a really solid nightime routine so that she new what to expect every night and then layed her down in her crib- she would stand up and jump and cry and i would very kindly but firmly tell her to lay down and sometimes i would even have to tell her that if she didn't lay down that mommy would have to leave the room and let her fall asleep on her own, and of course, she didn't want that. So i would rub her back and sing her songs and then she would fall asleep. After months of doing that i would slowly move closer to the door and stand at the door and tell her, mommy's here, it's time to go to sleep, i love you, good night. And it took a long time but now she is comfortable enough to talk herself to sleep and doesn't have a problem playing until she falls asleep as long as she knows that mommy is there. I tell her that i am always here, and that i can hear everything she is doing through her monitor and that if she needs me at all, i am right here, and i leave her door cracked open a bit and listen to her put herself to sleep. It's been a long road but one that i think was worth it as she got the comfort of co-sleeping and is now learning the confidence of self soothing and enjoys her bed. Another tactic i would use, is i would have my husband and i go in her room in the middle of the day and put her in her crib and let her play in it and get used to it, and enjoy it without it being a struggle to be trying to go to bed. That really helped as she got accustomed to her own space and realizing that her crib was fun.

Hope this helps! And good luck!

My son is 2 1/2 and STILL sleeps in our bed. Part choice, part circumstances. We recently moved his bed into our room to get him more used to sleeping there. Now he falls asleep with us, but we move him to his bed before we go to sleep. He will often wake up around 2 or 3 in the morning though and crawl back into bed with us. We are planning to move him to a twin bed in about a month, in his OWN room. He has been laying/ playing on the bed during the day for about a week now. When we finally make it official we plan to make a big deal for the week before about how "Next time Daddy gets to stay home from work, Isaiah get's his big boy bed, in his Big Boy ROOM!" Then when the weekend gets here, we'll take apart the Youth bed and move him to his new big boy room. (Right now it's my nephews bed/bedroom, but him and his dad are moving out to there own house.) We also plan to put a baby gate at OUR bedroom door at that time, so that he has to wake us up before join us in bed. Then we can choose whether he joins us, or I join him.

Hope it works out for you. Biggest thing I can say is to take it slow. You don't want he to feel traumatized by the transition. You have created an AMAZING bond by nursing her so long and sharing the Family Bed! Having her bed in your room may be an easier solution until you've finished BFing her. Keep it up, you're a wonderful mom! ~J.

I would try her crib, let her cry for only 10 minutes, go in and check on her tell her everything will be okay, leave- let her cry for another 10 minutes and so on. it is important to be consistent. good luck. your doing the right thing for the relationship with you and your husband

Hi,
I highly recomend Dr. Ferber's How to solve your child's sleep problems. I know the movie Meet the Focker's totally made "Ferberizing" your child sound horrible, but it really works. all the mom's i've told about this (including myself) have been totally amazed. It's not the easiest strategy, but it has worked for everyone who has stuck with it for 3 days. I suggest you and your significant other read, make a plan, and agree to stick to it. My hubby and I both had weak moments when we wanted to cave, but it only took 20 minutes the first night, 10 the second, and by the third night she just went to sleep! I couldn't believe it. Anyway, I now have a 2 year old who sleeps in her own bed (and it's a big girl bed not a crib). Good luck!