Getting a 13 Month to Sleep All Night

Hi A.! You definitely need a full night of sleep, and it doesn't sound like you've had one in over a year. My kids are 3-1/2 and 12 months, and we love Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth--lots of good advice to fix any sleep problems. We got our baby out of our bed and into a pack and play in our room at 7 months, and moved her into a crib in a room with her big brother just a few weeks ago. For us, that timing worked well, and the transitions were painless--no tears, never had to do cry-it-out. Some people want to do a family bed for a long time, but if you don't, take action before it gets harder! This book should help a lot--it is possible. Good luck to you, A.!

That is definitely comfort nursing! My son did the same thing, only he was only 4 months old at the time. As for the sleeping in a crib and not your bed, at 13 months old I am going to have to say you will either have to let her cry it out or it is not going to happen. My son woke up in the night until he was a year old and we would go pick him up and rock him and such but it would only somewhat work. We were getting poor sleep and so was he. After the doctor told us he was basically feeling rewarded by crying and us coming to hold him and such, we grit our teeth and let him cry. We would only go in to tell him it was alright and to go to sleep and pat him down but not pick him up! After a few nights he slept through the night like a champ! He was happier and so were we. Good luck but don't expect it to happen overnight, it can take a week and sometimes longer!

I had the same problem, and I tried the crying out and it was always the wrong time, and I was so confused by all the books and advice. We have only just sorted it out and he is 20months old. I will tell you what we did.after 3 nights, when you are supposed to see some improvement I was still wondering whether if I was doing it right. But then on the 8th night,he slept from 8-7. I was astounded, and he has done it every night since... about 2 months.
It's really hard listening to them cry, but he is so much happier now, and I knew what I was doing would ultimately the best for him. Imagine how you would feel if you were up a couple of times in the night and didn't know how to get yourself back to sleep!! It's just a case of helping them to unlearn their bad habits. and they learn quite quickly.

Firstly, you have to be sure they are not genuinely hungry in the middle of the night. So need to make sure they have strict 3 meals a day, no snacks and not too much milk.

Then set time for bedtime/bathtime routine.It is supposed to help if they spend extra time playing with you in their room/cot, then after the last feed, you really should put them down awake.I think that's a difficult one, but I think it helps with the sleep association. then kiss goodnight and lay them down. then leave! You decide on how long you can leave them crying,say 5 minutes, then go in and check on them, if he's standing up, lay him back down, say goodnight, comfort a little, then leave again. However long you first left them for add 2 minutes,so 7 minutes before you check again, then 9 and so on.This was the bit I was unsure about as i am not sure they can really distinguish between 5 and 7 minutes!
Eventually they will fall asleep.When they wake up again repeat the process, starting at 5 minutes or whatever your first interval was.I found that going back in upset him more so it was easier to leave him a little bit longer. If you give in at any stage they will think that however long they cry for you will give in!! They are very clever.And I always thought if I give in now all of his crying will have been for nothing, that's what made me stick with it. Then you have to follow the same process for naps. Any change in the process will make them think there is a chance to get their own way. If it helps it is better to do it now, rather than when they are older and they are shouting Mama! Its heartbreaking.
The most he ever cried for was 15 minutes, so maybe i was lucky, cos you hear nightmare stories about them crying for hours, but I think if you go in regularly they are a little bit reassured. On the 7th night, we had a stand off and he cried about 5 times in the night for about a half hour.
It's exhausting but hopefully at the end there will be a good night's sleep for you all. good luck.
I really hope this helps!!

S.
x

Every child is different on how much sleep they need. My son will be 14 months on the 16th and he sleeps 12 hrs over night than takes a 2 hr morning nap and a 2 1/2 - 3 hr afternoon nap most days (on occasion he skips the morning nap and goes down for an early afternoon nap which lasts 3-4 hrs).

Have you tried getting her to bed earlier? When toddlers are over-tired they tend to be more restless and wake more throughout the night. My son goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:30 (depending on when he woke up from the afternoon nap).

As for the overnight wakings, I recommend cry it out. You don't have to do the full blown letting her scream crying, but you could let her fuss and soothe her without nursing, if that's more comfortable for you.

Another option would be to offer an ounce or two of water instead of nursing. We did this with my son when he was much younger...it only took 3 days of water instead of formula and he stopped waking!

My son did the same thing until he was two. I finally decided it had to stop when I got pregnant again and I didn't want to be woken up every night by TWO nursing children. So I decided to stop the night-time nursings cold turkey. Yes he cried, but it was different than letting a little baby cry-it-out because I was right there and cuddled and comforted him until he figured out how to get himself back to sleep. It was a very rough few nights, but he got over it much quicker than I expected and then we both slept much better.

I had read that how babies get to sleep at the beginning of the night is how they will get themselves back to sleep when they wake up at night, so I made a point of not nursing him to sleep anymore. He protested vigorously, but eventually came to accept it. We just changed nursing to earlier in the bedtime routine - before brushing teeth. Then I'd tuck him in and snuggle with him until he fell asleep.

I think you just have to be ready for the fact that it's going to get worse before it gets better while you are sleep training her. Expect some rough nights, but don't let her nurse. My recommendation would be to night-wean her BEFORE trying to move her to her own bed, to minimize the crying.

I have two kids and both slept with me when they were babies until I finally realized everyone eventually sleeps much better in their own space. Will your daughter be upset? yes. will she cry? Yes. But in a couple nights in her own bed she will sleep through the night and so will you. If she is not, take her to get her ears checked for ear infection.

Assuming your daughter has no medical issues, there is no reason that a 13 month old child needs to wake up, even once, to eat during the night. The reason that she continues to nurse 3-4 times a night is because she has learned this behavior. She needs to nurse in order to fall back asleep. So, she needs your help to learn to fall asleep on her own. There are lots of "sleep solution" methods, but which ever one you pick should involve teaching your little one how to fall asleep by herself, without you (other than you being there initially at bedtime to say good night, give her a kiss, sing a song or do whatever you do in your bedtime routine). The cry it out method worked beautifully for both of my kids, but I understand that it may not be what's best for every family. Having said that, I thought the book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems", written by Dr. Richard Ferber, the originator of "cry it out", had some very good facts about sleep patterns and behaviors in people in general. He used good examples to explain why kids have some issues with sleep. So, even if you choose not to use his method, consider getting the book from the library to give you a foundation and help you pick a method that you are comfortable with. I have 2 kids, ages 5 and 3, who both sleep wonderfully in their own beds every night! They've been doing so since age 9 months and 6 months, respectively. I wish you the same success!

I would start with using the crib IN YOUR ROOM next to your bed.
I hadn't thought of this until my sister suggested bumping it up against the bed.
I nurse my baby through the night - pick him up out of the crib and then he goes right back in. I don't even have to get out of bed to nurse/change diapers. I really don't have an issue with sleep deprivation and my baby is only 6 wks old! Because I don't have to get out of bed and it's a quick/easy setup to tend to baby throughout the night...

If he nurses for comfort - I wonder if a binky would work for those times that he just wants to suck??
I just responded to a different mom seeking sleep advice - and was the oddball -sharing my opinion about NOT letting your baby "cry it out"... I just think it goes against your instincts! If your heart hurts when your baby cries, and your instinct is to pick up the baby and snuggle - DO IT!

I have always loved reading DR Sears THE BABY BOOK for encouragement. He and his wife have many children and have insightful and LOVING ideas for things like sleep habits.

At 9 months I replaced my daughter's middle of the night feeding with about 2 ounces of water. After a few days she dropped it- I guess she thought a bottle of water wasn't worth waking up for- I agree that she just wanted to nurse for comfort and not out of hunger.

Hello,

I breastfeed my daughter and pretty much after oneish she was just uses it as comfort! I completely just stop all at once! The doctors say not to do this cuz of discomfort to you but i didnt want to do it as they said(little by little just stop). One thing i would suggest is not so many naps...I have a 14 month old(who takes bottle)who I just did the whole crying thing with and it worked(it took him 2 nights for it to really work). I also switched him to one nap also. I would if i was you....try to push no brestfeeding while napping(start with the no feeding at naps then work to at night) and fit into 1 nap! Thats just a suggestion, hope it works!

given your choices so far and your resistance to CIO (both of which I applaud, btw), I think you would do well to check out Elizabeth Pantley's The No Cry Sleep Solution (http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Throug.... it's not for everyone, but I bet it will speak to you and your issues. there are a number of things you need to address (including bed times; your baby is going to bed waaaay too late for a 13-mo-old, which is going to have a ripple effect... it's complicated, but Pantley does a very good job explaining sleep needs, habits, and what you can do when you're in the position you're in, without necessarily having just to abandon your child to cry in the night).

good luck!