Get Out of My Bed

Updated on November 30, 2006
R.B. asks from Vineland, NJ
11 answers

I have a serious problem with my son not staying out of my bed. He is 4 and every night he comes into my room and climbs in my bed. I do get up and take him back to bed but after a while he returns and this is over and over. I have tried talking to him about staying in his bed but it is not working. He is the youngest of four and the only one who has this habit. Is anyone else suffering through this?

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T.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Did you try rewarding him if he stays in his own bed. Something little that he may enjoy and at the same time he will get use to his own bed.
Just an idea.

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A.S.

answers from Washington DC on

My son slept in my bed until he was three, and my daughter who is now five still likes to sleep in my bed. Does your son share a room with any of his siblings? I have noticed my daughter does this when I have not given her enough of me time. I know it is hard with 4 children and working ( it's like we have to be super mom to get everything done. But you are doing the right thing. Kept it up and he will get the message.

A little about me:

I am a full- time working mother and a full time student with
4 children (2 teenagers and 2 younger ones). Married 6 years. Love to read, and love horror movies (more gore the better).

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H.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I haven't tried this myself but it has worked for others I know. Try putting a nap mat/sleeping bag/kiddie air mattress/some sort of sleeping area next to your bed. Tell your son if he has to come into your room, he can sleep on that for now but that he needs to work on sleeping in his own bed. Sometimes, that baby step helps them become more confident which allows them to get into their own bed instead of yours.

Good luck.

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J.L.

answers from Erie on

Hello! My son will be 4 in two weeks and he does the same thing. It really irritates me. I have RLS so sleeping at night is difficult enough without the addition of a 2 am visitor who is a very active sleeper. I have tried putting him back into his own bed awake but if I do not stay with him till he falls asleep he will just follow me back into my room. I am not sure if maybe this stems from the fact that he did not have his own room separate from me until last July (I had my son in college and was living at my mom's until I was financially able to move out). I can only chalk it up to the fact that he loves to be close to me.

I find that moving him back to his own bed after he falls back to sleep in my bed works well. He never wakes up during the move and sleeps till morning, sometimes later than he normally does! Have you tried that? I have a friend who's son is 8 and still is trying to get into her bed.

I heard a suggestion of putting an air mattress or crib mattress on the floor by your bed and making him sleep there. Tell him that if he wants to sleep in your room he has to sleep on the mattress or go back to his own bed, then enforce it. This suggestion came from a married woman and she said it worked like a charm. In about a week he found it wasn't worth the effort.

It didn't work for me simply because I'm single and most of the time my boyfriend isn't there overnight (he's not my son's father and lives elsewhere). I have a full sized bed so most of the time I have no clue my son is even there until I wake up in the morning. Give it a shot and see if it works for you.

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S.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

I had the same problem with my 4 year old. The problem with me is I guess I'm a heavy sleeper and would never realize that she came into my bed until the morning time. The only thing that worked for me was talking to her about it and giving her an incentive. I told her that if she stayed in her bed the whole week that at the end of the week I'd get her a coloring book. That actually worked for her. She still comes in once in a while, but it's not every night like it used to be. Good luck!!!

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughters sleep habits have changed and she's no longer napping, going to bed later and isisteing on sleeping with us.

I'm not fighting the sleeping with us thing since I figure it'll be temprary and it's not a space issue. Soon enough she'll want more independance so I'm just rolling with it.

Also for me, the late bedtime and lack of naptime (ie time when I can get stuff done)are more pressing issues.

Good luck and let us know what you decide to do.

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S.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi R.,
I had the same problem with my 4 yr old. This may sound bad but it worked. I made it uncomfortable for her to sleep with me. I would put the cheap sheets and the itchy blanket on the bed,toss and turn while she was asleep move the pillows from under her head, pull the covers off of her, pretend to snore really loud, and talk in my sleep. A few days of this and she has never climed back into my bed unless she's had a really bad dream. These measures are a little extreme, but I was so tired of waking up with a sore back because she kicked me all night,one day I woke up with a bruise eye because she was fighting in her sleep and punched me in the eye. The punch in the eye was the last straw!!!!

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A.D.

answers from Erie on

If you get any advice about your problem, please let me know. I am suffering from the same problem except my son (he'll be 4 in January) is getting smarter and smarter about it. He's started telling us that he wet the bed to get into our bed! He tells us "He stept too long"- his way of saying he wet the bed. Any suggestions? Thanks

I am a mother of 1 almost 4 year old boy and have been married for 5 years.

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E.E.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son slept in bed with my husband and I until I got pregnant with my daughter. The only way he would stay in his bed was if I kept the tv on for him. For the first couple of months I could keep the cartoon network on and he would always fall right back asleep now if he wakes up and they are on he will stay up so after he falls asleep I change the channel to C-Span so if he wakes up he gets bored quickly. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Augusta on

My 3 year old goes through phases where he will try and sleep with me every night. We have a sofa in the room that I will let him sleep on for one night. If he tries again the next night I make him go back to his room, and he won't try again for awhile.

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L.N.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi there , R.,

My daughter will be 4 in Dec. She not only goes to bed way late,( I'm talkin she can hang with the best of em, lol ) usually after midnight, but she also gets out of bed at least twice to pee and most nights ends up in my bed while I'm asleep. My boys, now 16 and 11, did the same thing for years. Some days it drives me nuts as I get up at 6:30, but sometimes I try to cope knowing someday she will not want or need me that way anymore. It could be a security issue , which alot of kids go thru, so have some patience, and remember, this too shall pass.

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