Genetic Disorders & Abortions

You know, this is one of those questions where I just don't know WHAT I'd do, too big for me to grasp. Too many variables to think about. I can't really say def one way or the other.

Like you, I certainly do not judge anyone's decision. It's too personal.

:)

I know someone who did this when they found out that their child would have a severe birth defect, but it wasn't for me to judge. I really don't know what I would do. I know my husband would be totally against it. It's a difficult and personal decision.

I agree that 3boysunder3 is judgingin the worst way! Calling someone a murderer and then saying you wouln't judge. A cleft pallet is nothing compared to a genetic mutation where the child is born without the ability to grow and will be in sever pain (there are disorders like that) thats why late term abortions exsist, not for someone with a kid with a minor mental or physical abnormality, but for the ones so severe that the baby would be born in horrible pain and live a very short and unhealthy life. I used to attend Pro Life rallies, I marched in them, and as odd as it is, after I had my daughter is when I changed my mind, because if she was raped or was deemed to have that horrible of an outcome where she or the baby would die and have ohrrible problems, I would want her to be able to choose, and not someones religous views make the desicion for her. I could never unless the physical or mental issues were so bad that they would not live a happy life (I don';t consider most forms of mental diasbilities or physical to fit in this category) but if I was to have a child that would be in pain and never progress I can say I would be heartbroken but would probably opt for an abortion. Also I feel that decision shouldn't be come to lightly abd noone should be able to judge for we have not lived their life, and can not completely understand this hard decsion some people have to make. GOOD QUESTION=)

My problem with the testing is I don't believe that anyone knows what they can handle until they are forced to handle it.

If someone had told me that Andy was going to have Autism when I was pregnant with him I would not have had an abortion but I also would not have believed I could handle it. As it is, it is easy, not always but in aggregate it is easy.

One of the gifts my less than perfect divorce gave me was I realized every limit I have ever placed on myself was self-imposed. My divorce was ugly, he attacked everyone I loved including his own children to make me hurt enough to go back to him. Crazy I know. I kept hitting my limit and yet every time I found something in me to keep going. After you do that about ten times in three months you realize unless you limit yourself there isn't a thing you can't do.

Maybe it is just my personality, I don't know, but I think a lot of people are denying themselves a lot of love by ending a life that could be the best thing that ever happened to them.

There is one, and I know it shows in ultrasounds, the child always dies within a year and I can't for the life of me remember the name of it, that I may consider, but I really can't even say that for sure without actually facing it.

I could not abort. Mainly because of my beliefs but I have been in a similar situation. My 7 year old (now) was diagnosed via ultrasound when I was 18 weeks pregnant with bladder/kidney issues. They looked to be so severe that I was advised that I needed an abortion. If I chose not to go that route I would either miscarry or he would die within hours of birth. Devestating to say the least ! I went for a 2nd opinion the next week. That doctor saw the same issues, didn't think they were as severe, but did say it would be a hard road for my baby as we couldn't see any genitals or blood flow to that area. And we should have seen all of that with the ultrasounds we were doing. I continued the pregnancy. This child was born with genitals, and yes - some urinary tract issues that have resulted in a couple of surgeries but he has no issues at this time. Is healthy as a horse for the most part and you can't tell there are any problems. What a blessing I would have missed out on if I had taken that 1st doctors suggestion ! This has cemented my beliefs that I could never abort - no matter what the testing showed. I would just have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

Hi queen-

I read this question earlier...and have waited to post 'my' response...as it is extremely personal.

One of my twins was diagnosed...in utero...with severe cardiac defects. Because it was a twin pregnancy, they recommended amnio to see if the 'twin with the defect was compatible with life...and when to intervene on behalf of the good twin'...

I quote exactly from the doctors notes.

I had at the time 5 other kiddos...and never had had an amnio. I am pro life for myself.

The amnio merely ruled out trisomy 18...but also ruptured the 'good' twins sack....resulting in the premature birth of both my girls.

I had been offered an attempt to abort the 'challenged' twin...but I feared for her sister...and I am glad that I really had no chance to 'make' a choice...as they were both delivered via emergency c section at 29 weeks 3 days.

I was told...upon shannon's birth...to make her comfortable...and 'let her go'...as her prematurity in conjunction with her heart issues rendered her 'in compatible' with life.

The working book title I have is 'compatible with life'.

HOWEVER...I would not...COULD not judge other people for their respective choices regarding these very personal and difficult decisions. And I DO feel that everyone has a 'right to choose'...even if those choices would perhaps be different than the choices I might (or have made).

MY choice has come at great expense...not only monetarily...but probably contributed to the failure of my marriage.

BUT...for ME...and shannon's siblings...she has been a blessing...and a LIVING lesson/teacher about compassion...patience...tenacious will to live...and love.

My journey is mine...and I wish others well on theirs...particularly when faced with tremendously hard choices. We all choose as well as we can...

And that is all I have to say on this one!

michele/cat

There is nothing that would make me have an abortion. I feel that children are a gift from God and a human life, therefore, I could never take a life no matter what the circumstances were especially if it were my own child's. I feel that it's up to God to decide the outcome.

I am pro choice. I like choices. I like control over my reproductive ability/rights and I imagine others do as well. Personally, I think I would abort if the fetus were not compatible with life. Probably for both selfish and unselfish reasons. I would not want to give birth to a baby with Trisomy 13, 18 or 22, Tay-Sachs, Canavan disease, cephalic disorders. Most fetuses with those conditions die in utero or very early in life. I would not want to give birth and then watch my child suffer and die (selfish, perhaps) and I certainly wouldn't want my daughter's to watch their sibling suffer and die. If the child were to live with those conditions, I would not be well equipped to provide adequate care (and would not disillusion myself into thinking that an adoption would happen for a child with those conditions). Had my first child been diagnosed with any of those, I don't think I would have aborted. Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome) I do not think I would abort. I would require a definitive diagnosis via genetic testing, not just an oh, we think the fetus may have this based on your ultrasound to abort.

If my child had complex medical issues, that needed treatment and they would suffer ... Yes, I would abort. Before people judge , I have had a child that has suffered medically from day one & I would rather let them go , than see them go through a minute of pain and not understand why. *** I want add this, even though most won't see it*** I've been thinking more about my answer , since yesterday... I may have been to quick to say I would abort. There would be many factors that would go into that decision. I keep thinking that if my baby were to only live a short time, I would want my child to be warm in my arms & I would want to console & be a mom to that child , for their short life. It hurts me to think about my child being alone, & in pain, hooked up to monitors & IV's , having medical procedures that would make it difficult / unable to be held & them know I was there. What a devastating decision for anyone to have to make.

I declined certain prenatal tests based on the fact that it wouldn't alter whether or not I continued with the pregnancy. I almost feel as if you are telling God, thanks anyway, but we only want perfect babies. That said, I would never (at least I would try very hard not to) judge someone else faced with this decision.

I am pro-life. I made the decision long ago to carry any pregnancy to term regardless of probability of disorder. During my first pregnancy when discussing whether or not to have an amnio my doctor just asked me if the results would change anything & when I said no he said then there was really no reason to have one then. For some reason that really stuck with me.
I offer no judgement or condemnation for those that have been faced with that decision - it can't be an easy one. This answer reflects my personal beliefs & decisions.

I am very much pro-choice and feel it is not my place to make a decision for another woman. That being said I always thought there was no way I could abort a child of my own. We had the non-invasive sequential screen done with my first pregnancy and now with my current one and thankfully everything came back negative. With the first I did it because I need information and wanted to be prepared if there was a problem not because I thought abortion was an option. With my second I did it for the same reasons as above, but my husband and I talked about it and if the results had come back suggesting a child with Trisomy 18 or something equally devastating we would have seriously considered abortion. I'm not sure if I could have gone through with it or not, but I think it would have been selfish for me to choose to carry the baby to term if I knew there was no chance of it surviving past age 1.

This decision didn't just affect me and my husband it also affected my current son and I wasn't willing to put all of us through that. The baby would have suffered if it had even survived, my husband and I would have gone through a tremendous amount of stress and grief and probably strained our marriage and the one who would suffer the most is my 2.5 year old. I am first and foremost his mother and I wasn't willing to do that to him.

When I first read it I thought this would be hard to answer, but for me it's not. I don't trust all the tests they give now. I was 35 when I got pregnant and had my daughter (turned 36 four days after her birth). I refused ALL these tests. I told my OB/GYN that I would love my baby no matter what.
My view on abortion may make me sound like a hypocrite. I will not judge others if this is a choice they make. I only live in my own skin and can only make decisions for me. I guess my way of thinking is that I would rather the soul be sent back in the extremely early stages of life and not tossed out like a bag of trash. Not that all abortions are done because they are not wanted pregnancies. Each woman has her own reasons that only she truly knows and she should not be judged by us for them.

The reason I refused genetic testing in both pregnancies, I never wanted to have to decide what to do.

I like to say that I would keep the baby no matter what, my main concern is that I would find out what was "wrong" and then research it to death. Drive myself and everyone around me crazy before I even had the baby.

I know I am two faced on this subject...While I personally am pretty sure I wouldn't have one other than what I listed...I won't condemn others. However, I am very judgemental of those who choose it as a means of birth control or because they don't like the sex of the baby they're having... That is an unnaceptable reason! If I were raped or molested I would have one. Life in danger..I'd have one because I have three other children that are here and need their mother. Birth defects is a tough one for me. I prayed a lot of when I was pregnant. If you could 100% gaurantee that my child had birth defects when I first found out I was pregnant than I would consider it...After I saw the heartbeat and growing baby there was no way I could do it when too much time has passed...There are no certainty with these tests unless you have an amnio. I refused all the genetic and screening tests and put my faith in God. This is tough and emmotional and I know that abortion goes against my faith...so yes I struggle with the issue.

This is definitely one of those questions that has SO many gray areas. I opted to not do the pre-natal testing for a few reasons.
1) I have heard of so many false positives
2)I would always question the test results NO MATTER WHAT
Now for those who do get tests and are told they're child would be severly handicapped, sick, etc Thats their choice to make.
My sister's friend was told early on in her last pregnancy that the baby had spin bifida, and would not survive long if at all if she carried to term. She was "advised" many times that she should terminate the pregnancy. They did many ultrasounds and repeatedly gave her the same diagnosis. She refused to terminate and said she would just accept what would happen. If she only got to hold her baby one time, that is what she will do.

Her baby was born 100% healthy. He just celebrated his first birthday a few months ago, and is beautiful healthy and happy. Stories like that stick in my mind. I have another friend who was told her child wouldn't survive either, and she should terminate. She carried a gene for a genetic disorder. But at the point they discovered this she was 5-6 months along. Had already felt her baby move and kick. She also refused. Her baby only survived a few hours. But that was an experience that she can hold in her heart forever. She can never have any more children because of this disorder, so to her even though it was only a few hours she got to be a mom.
Now I understand the reality of possibly caring for a severely handicapped or ill child may be too much to imagine. And i totally get it. Thank god I have never been faced with such a sad situation, and because of that I'd never judge someone who has and what their decision is.

I could say that I wouldn't abort a baby like that.
The hard thing about saying that though is I have never been in that situation.
So I can say, at this point, I wouldn't abort.

I can't honestly say that all abortions are bad, that would make me a hypocrite.
I was raped and became pregnant. I had all intentions of going through the pregnancy, but I couldn't handle it.
Sounds selfish, and in a way it is. Its such a personal subject.
I do agree that using abortions for a form of BC is really really wrong.
I know a girl that is 21 and has already had 5 abortions. Makes me sick to look at her.

If I knew that I was carrying a child with a major genetic disorder, I would most definitely abort, then have myself sterilized.

My initial response is to say I would never abort. I do see all life as sacred, and if I was carrying a baby, my job would be to love it and care for it the best I could as long as I could.... HOWEVER, I have never been in a situation in which this was a real consideration. So I can't truly comment until I've walked in those shoes....

It really depends on the abnormality and the level of suffering. Its not about what i want to tolerate, its about what i should expect my child to tolerate. They are very different things.

I otherwise would not consider abortion......ever.

Thank GOd i was blessed with three very healthy pregnancies so far

I don't know what I would do. When I was pregnant , my husband and I did talk about this. My husband would never be ok with abortion in case they found any issues (thankfully we have a healthy baby) and I , though not ok with abortion wasn't sure what to do if somebody told M. baby is not going to be normal like everyone else. Maybe the preganacy harmones, but I used to worry a lot.. So this is what I did - I said no to genetic testing. I just didn't want to make any decision.