From Professional to SAHM - Help with Transition

It was a difficult transition for me. Now that my son is in first grade, I choose to work 2 days per week.
You'll be amazed at how much less money you will spend.
Also, be prepared for the most challenging job you ever had. I work (and worked) in marketing/advertising for nearly 20 years, and always thought it would be a breeze to be home with a child---WRONG!

Good luck! I made this transition 5 years ago and LOVE my life now. The time I was able to devote to my children was precious to me. I started a part time home business to keep my income and still have some professional time. I help other families earn from home.
There is an event tomorrow night, Mon. March 22 in Lewisville that may be very helpful for you. It is at 7pm at Lewisville Estates, 800 College Parkway, it is FREE and open to the public. There will be 15 mom owned businesses represented and many local mom support groups. You will have the opportunity to meet and network with other sahm and wahm moms.
Blessings to you,

You cant possibly keep your "own" identity. Your identity will change to, wonderful cozy warm homemaker and full time kisser of boo boos and cuddle machine. Your new identity will be the most important job any woman could do. You are raising the next generation. You are the main teacher, lover and influence of your children.

You get to provide a loving, caring and fun atmosphere for your little ones. A lot of this can be done in the comfort of your jammies. Wah hoo.

It does take a little while to figure out your at home groove. Some things have to be scheduled and organized. DON'T over stress too much about housework or you will never get any time to enjoy the kids. You will discover all of a sudden there are even less hours in the day than there were before. I don't know now how I ever worked a full time job and still did my home and mommy stuff.

Play the first few weeks by ear. You can try things and omit things as they come up. I've been home for 3 years, and I'm still trying new things.

I plan dinner meals each week, this has made shopping cheaper and easier. I clip coupons. Try this site athriftymom.com, she is fabulous. You can do all sorts of fun outdoor stuff for free. I utilize the 2nd hand stores in my town. You wouldn't believe the nice name brand stuff I've found for only a few dollars per item.

I try to get up the same time everyday and to bed at night the same. I get up every morning and fix my husbands lunch and coffee. I like to get up before the kids for some much coveted alone time with my love.

Make sure you try to go outside at least once a day. It gets so easy to just stay indoors and sometimes this gets a little crazy and annoying. It's okay not to fold the load of laundry on the couch and take a 10 minute walk with your kids instead.

It absolutely can be done. My husband has a very very small salary, we have 5 children, we own our house and cars and have no debt. I try to save money wherever possible and we save for things we cant afford right away. Staying out of debt is a major necessity when you're penny pinching.

And, make sure you don't get into the SAHM rut where you nag your husband and insist he help with housework. There is nothing harder for a man working hard to provide than an unhappy wife who doesn't appreciate him. It's so easy to let the stress of the day come out toward him, BUT DON'T DO IT.

We get our children at home for about 20 years tops. And then it's over. 20 years is such a short time in out lives. I love being the one to help my kids live it. When they are grown and gone, I'll go back to working outside the home.
Congratulations on raising your own children. What a blessing.

The time with your children is so precious and what a gift being a SAHM, and also it is realistic thinking to remember who you are and that some days it may make you a little crazy. I made this transition about six years ago when I was 32 and I kind of got resentful towards my husband, felt like I was loosing Brain strength, and did not feel quite as empowered and somehow less sexy.OK, fast forward to present, I have become involved with the kids schools and the other mothers, do yoga, play golf, dance with my kids often,stay up on current events, and make a mommies only run/lunch date each week and make meals without nuggets,noodles, or peanut butter, we have culture nights, the kids decorate, help me cook and Of course presto Mommy and Daddy get Moroccan dinner night or france night with wine...ooooh la la!Please enjoy and it is ok to not always love being a SAHM because you will always love your kids.

I Loved everything Sherry K said! especially the part about NOT always liking being a SAHM:) When you think about your life professionally now, I am sure there are days that You don't always like the job or coworkers, I know that is how it was for me.

It is easy to compare your life, professionally vs. SAHM but they are almost like apples & oranges b/c You will work 5 times as hard in the motherhood, and receive Very little gratitude but the results are AMAZING! I made the transition at age 32 and being my child's number 1 teacher is GREAT!

She is learning so much and I am too. In terms of identity, many folks in the professional world view motherhood as a "lack of professional identity" ....Until you are there, THEN I realized that THIS IS A JOB TOO!
I teach, clean, encourage, cheer, keep finances, shop,cook etc. etc. I don't get paid for it or have many (if any) vacation days, but just as with my job as a Social Worker I am making a difference in the life of a child...MY CHILD and that is priceless!

The years will go fast, my baby will be 2 in 2 weeks, and I know that the professional world will still be waiting for me when I am ready to reenter. However, I can not get these days back and I am like you I want to be with my kids. One new way to stay connected to my profession was to seek out ways to Volunteer with my baby. Recently I volunteered with an inner-city social service agency and I helped oversee the play group while the moms were in a support group. My child got to come along for the fun, so she benefits too.

I also periodically go to trainings to keep up my needed CEU's for my Social Work license. You have to be creative, but you wil. find a way to make it work and stay connected to your "professional life" I like the term Stay connected vs. Keep identity b/c there is nothing wrong with the idenity of Mama. It is a great way to identify yourself, and trust me,.. there are MANY professional women who would give anything, even their high powered careers to have that identity.
You are Blessed-Enjoy every minute!

In terms of saving money:
* Contact service providers for lower rates (insurance, utilities, etc.)
* Re access what you really NEED (ie satalite packages, highest speed internet, cell phone packages, etc.)
* Check out this website for local savings www.mydfwmommy.com. It's a little overwhelming when you first start, but if you sign up for their daily emails, it makes it lots easier to keep up with the free/cheap stuff.
* Check out www.familyeguide.com. We mostly feature activities in the Flower Mound area, but it will give you lots of inspiration on finding free & cheap activities in your area (free concerts, movies, storytimes, outings, etc.)

In terms of transitioning:
I would definitely get involved in some sort of support group for SAHM. Many of them are professionals as well. It's a great opportunity to share your experiences, learn from others as you reach different stages in your child's development (or in your own stage as a parent), etc. I'm still friends with many of the moms that I met 8-10 years ago when my daughters were younger. We make a point of giving each other a "break" periodically by swapping playdates, etc. We've also watched each others kids for date nights as well. And we make a point of having a Moms Night Out at least once a month (we also get together once or twice a year to have a girl's weekend (stay at a hotel in the metroplex and just have fun). It's important to have friends who are going through the same stages as you. Here's a great list of support groups in the metroplex: http://www.burbmom.net/moms-groups-dallas-fort-worth-metr....

Good luck!
www.familyeguide.com Free guide to affordable family activities in Lewisville, Flower Mound, Highland Village, and the surrounding area.

Hello!
Congrats!
I made the transition over 3 years ago. It was very tough in the sense I was very wrapped up in my career, which was not necessarily a good thing. But I loved my job, just not the stress it put on mye and my family. I am so glad I did step off the fast and furious career track b/c you can never get this time back with your kids. You are doing a smart thing for you and your family.
My advice is not to bite off more than you can chew. I had grand plans that I would keep up with their scrapbooks, paint their room, go on fun excursions weekly, etc. Try and get on a schedule, but also blend in some non-scheduled days where you just decide as you go what you will do.
Great free activities - library time, story time at area bookstores, visit a park, ride the troller in uptown.
With the additional time on my hands I was able to shop around for our car/home insurance and get our premiums reduced. Look at all your bills and see where you can shave. Sometimes just asking for a discount is easier than you think - ie, we get the newspaper and I told them we were cutting back on things and they gave me a discounted rate just to keep our business. Phone bills you can shave money off of. It takes time to call and research, but in the long run you can reduce your monthly bills.
Personal identity - volunteer for committees at their school, community organizations that need help with things that can be done at home. I have found ways to still use my background and get some sense of giving back and using my skills.
Enjoy the moment - they are fleeting. I quit when my boys were 2 and 4 and I remember how sweet it was to just sit outside and watch them play in the morning instead of rushing out the door to get to work and get them to daycare. They are now 7 and 5 and I really wonder where the 3 years went, but I remember every outing and really have never looked back....Best of luck.

I did the same thing. Most of your money saving will come from the lack of expenses you had while you worked (lunch, gas, dry cleaning, childcare, etc). You will be amazed that the money is still there. You will just shift priorities in spending. I have always been puzzled by the question about retaining identity though. I'm not quite sure how one loses their identity just b/c you stopping working for a paycheck. You will still be the same person with the same values and morals and personality, you just won't be leaving the home to work. Keeping up with your friends and maintaining adult conversations will help you feel better connected to the 'outside' world. You've embarked on a journey that you will never regret! Have fun...

Don't know how old your kids are, but try and join some groups and organizations where you can make your self useful, so to speak, and even be on the board. For example, PTA if they are older or if you have babies/toddlers then join groups like the International MOMS Club (www.MomsClub.org) or other organized mommy group that has board members. You also didn't say what your job/profession was-- try and find a way to still do some of it on the side, whether for money or volunteering, even if it's just one hour a week or a couple of days a month. This will not only keep you sane, but give you something to put on a resume when you decide to return to work.

Money saving tips... It's really super easy to find yourself out for the day with the kids and they are hungry. It will add up if you keep buying snacks and lunches out, so ALWAYS pack snacks and drinks when you leave for the day, and a lunch if you'll be out all day.

Call the customer service number on ALL of your bills (phone, cell phone, utilities, etc.) Tell them your family has had a change in income and you'd like to know what they can do to lower your bill. They may have options for bundling services, you may have extra features or services you are now paying for that you can really live without, or they may do you a favor as a loyal customer and lower your monthly rate even just for a few months. Every bit counts and you may find you can save around $50 a month total by doing this, maybe more.

Obviously clipping coupons helps with the grocery bills, but pay attention to store fliers and shop around for good deals on pantry items that you can stock up on, like buy-on-get-one-free deals.

Make a menu for the week and try to stick to it. I try to base it on what the specials are at the store. I include breakfast, lunch and snacks..

Have a calendar and write down free or almost free events coming up that you and your children will enjoy attending. Keep a small Ice chest in your car so you can take cold drinks, fruit and snacks. I also kept a blanket, sunscreen, and change of clothes in there for just in case.

I still made sure to get together with friends. I volunteered a ton at our daughters schools and met tons of great people that way.

Some moms will start a book club a Bunco group or other activities so that they could have some adult conversations..

It is a transition, but you will not regret one minute. Our daughter is now in college and I miss her, but I know that we had a ton of fun together and I know she is going to be fine. .

Hi E..
There are a hundred things I could say, but really, just be patient with yourself. You won't feel comfortabale for a while, because everything will be so new. You'll feel bored and overwhelmed at the same time. You'll feel like you have no one to talk to. But it's just a transition. Find a mom's group that you can meet with (check meetup.com - there are a TON of groups there). Also, find a hobby that you enjoy, or continue a hobby you already do (like yoga or photography or scrapbooking, etc.) Make sure you make time for yourself onced a week for a few hours, even if you have to hire a babysitter to do it (but hopefully your husband will be willing to be the "babysitter").

Mostly, you may wonder from day to day if you ever accomplish anything... well, that's how I feel a lot, anyway. And the answer is YES! Although the laundry is a never-ending cycle, and as soon as you finish the vacuuming someone will walk through the house with muddy shoes, the work we do IS important. There is no one to pat us on the back for a job well done and no end-of-year bonus check. So, no tangible rewards. But you'll get paid in hugs and fingerpaint drawings.

Good luck to you, and welcome to the trenches!

-G.
http://www.texanmama.com

I am currently working full-time outside the home, but I just started with another company part-time to bring in extra money. Right now, it’s helping us save money on some of our expenses and bring in extra income. My goal is to some day work from home exclusively so I have more time to be with my girls. This may be something you could try during this transition to help ease into your new role AND save money on your monthly expenses. Send me a private message if you want more information and I can help you set up an interview. Congratulations on this big change!

One of the most important things I can suggest, that will be able to help you with every transition from working mom to SAHM is to find a support group. LUNA Moms Club is a great way to connect with other moms, many who have done the same thing you are doing. I am involved in the one in Arlington, but I know they are all over the metroplex. You can search for them on meetup.com :)

I was a teacher for 10 years and this is my second year as a SAHM. I love it and one thing that has really helped is that I got involved with a moms group at our church. We meet on the 2nd and 4th Mondays of the month and then have playdates and moms nights outs in between. This was a good way for me to be able to stay connected to adults and get great ideas, wisdom and advice from other moms.
Hope this helps.

A suppport group is essential to keeping your sanity! I have been a member of Mothers and More since my almost 9 year old was 18 mo old. They have been my life safer. There are two chapters locally, Greater Lewisville and Keller. Check out their website and see why they are so different than other groups, they put MOM first in order to take care of the kids best. There are no rules, no right or wrongs, just support for you taking care of your family the way you feel is best! www.mothersandmore.org

I went from a pretty high profile job to SAHM. I found that I needed to (and still do) need to be around other moms who stay at home, who were in the working world at some point in their lives. Join a MOMS Club (visit momsclub.org for local chapter listings) or consider working part time (find a children's day out program at a local church: you can get a break from your litle one and work at the same time) or a home based business (contact me about Scentsy or visit my website A..scentsy.us ) or volunteer in your community.
One thing that also helped me is that I still always wear earriings/watch/ring every day, just like I used to, and most days I do my hair (not much to do-easy style). Sounds weird but just make the effort or else you'll be wearing scrubs in public every day.

I have always hated that so many think your identity is your job. I think it's absured that so many people identify you by what "you do". It's annoying that so many people will automatically ask you, "so, what do you do?". Your identity is who you are as a person...your character. Take joy in being able to be w/ your kids, and forget about what you did to earn money.

As far as $ saving tips. By store brand, they are alot cheaper and most of the time, just as good, sometimes even better. Buy the kids clothes on clearance for the next season. Nowdays it's cool to shop at second hand stores, so that will save alot of $ too. Do free things, like walks, going to the park, etc..

Congratulations on choosng to stay home!!

The most important thing is to stick to a schedule like you had at work. Monday is laundry day, yes some weeks I need to do a few loads later in the week but sheets, towels and the large majority of wash is done that day. Tuesday I iron, Wed I clean bathrooms, Thursday I do general cleaning of the whole house and Friday I clean the kitchen. By dividing it up like that I have free time everyday and I get to everything each week. It also leaves my weekends free. The hardest thing for me to get used to was not the women saying what on earth do you do all day but the men looking lustfully and saying I wish my wife would do that. You will encounter many women who will look down on you because you do not "work", wait a few months and then tell us how much free time you have and how relaxing it is.

Some great advice here. My 2 cents is on the transition piece, I took some time with my kiddos between jobs. It was very helpful to stick to a routine. Wake up same time, scheduled breakfast, scheduled lunch and nap times, outings with friends, etc. Just like "meetings" It was the ritual part of the day that was hard to let go when I was home, so that process was helpful to me during the transition.
I also found time to volunteer and offer some assistance in my professional area of expertise. Nothing huge, just some side projects I could do while the boys were asleep or napping. That helped me feel like I was keeping my skills fresh and was an nice outlet that didn't revolve around my parenting role.
Now that I am back in the office it makes things run smoothly that none of us really got out of that groove. The only thing that has changed is what we are doing.
I do think that much of our identity is in our job and should be. We chose our area of study because we were passionate about it. Choose our jobs not only for $$ but to express that passion. There is NOTHING wrong with having part of your idenity wrapped up in your job or what you do outside of the home. It doesn't mean you are any less dedicated or commited to the family you love more than anything:)
Best of luck with your transition.

E., I am about to say some things that may not set well with you and others of your generation and I hope you take time to think about them before you become defensive.

I am 72 years old and have done the SAHM and the professional bit. The bessing of being with your kids is a given--so moving on---none of the 'friendships' I made as a professional still exist, nor does that 'Identity'. Many of the friends I made as soccer, baseball etc. Mom are still standing, as well as that 'Identity'.

The professional part was good for my ego, what we might call self esteem or identity, however the mom part was good for my heart and my children remember with pain and with joy if Mom was there when they came home from school. (And before I knew it, I was home for the grandkids too! What fun they are!! )

Children grow up so fast that you have many years to work on your Other Identity. (You will actually have many Identities in your lifetime. Even differrent ones to your children.)

As for money saving tips, I have lots of those too but I'm you will get many of our other mama friends.
God bless you and your family.