From a Moms Point of View

My kids are 9 & 7 (girls) and 5 & 3 (boys). I am blessed to be able to provide financially for them to have toys that they enjoy--but I'm also thankful that they haven't started asking for things like iPods yet! LOL!

My kids do not know what they are getting until Christmas morning, period. I think that telling your daughter that you got a "cheaper" item before Christmas just ruined her surprise, and threw a bit of water on it as she may not have even noticed the quality issue. You are under no obligation to buy the most expensive product for your child--even if you can afford it. Things like iPods are *extras*, and our children should understand that they should be grateful for not only being provided the necessities in life (food, bed, clothes, lots of love), but especially for extras.

This may sound harsh, but if my kids would be so ungrateful as to complain about not getting the "best and brightest" Christmas present, the item would go right back to the store, to another child who would be more grateful, or at least be taken away from the child long enough for them to reflect on how they should respond to gifts.

Hi, It is hard knowing what to do sometimes isn't it? I feel for you. My two boys are still little, but they still ask for things that are too expensive or things that we just won't buy them period. I am honest with them. I tell them that it is too expensive or that we aren't willing to get it for them for whatever reason. Yes, they sometimes get upset, yes they sometimes don't understand. Life isn't fair and they AREN'T entitled to whatever they think they should have. I personally would be very disappointed in my kids if they acted that way about getting what they wanted, just not EXACTLY what they wanted. I would be tempted to not get it at all. We have to teach them that it isn't about getting everything you want. It isn't even about getting at all! You did what you thought was the best way to be senisitive to her. I think I might have talked it over with my husband first to get his opinion first, but it is over now. I don't think what you did was wrong, it just didn't turn out to the best decision. We all make choices like that from time to time. Dont' beat yourself up...you did what you thought was good. What more can we do. We're only Moms....not perfect moms, just moms! Hope you AND your family have a great Christmas.

I agree with you. My daughter is almost four and wants the rose petal cottage. it is way to big for our house and too expensive. we've tried to help her understand that she doesn't always get what she wants and that's ok. Kids should be happy to receive presents and try to understand that not everyone is going to get them exactly what they want. It's the giving and the love that matters not what you got or how much it cost. The sweetest thing I ever saw was a friend of hers, when asked what she wanted people to give her for her birthday she said it didn't matter that she would like whatever they got her. And she did. She was very gracious and loved everything. I think that is how we should all try to raise our children.
Take your daughter to a soup kitchen on Christmas eve and let her start learning that there are many people out there who won't even have a warm place to sleep, so she should be very thankful for everything she has.

I don’t think there was a right or wrong way to handle that situation. Each child and each family is different. You were simply trying to keep her from being disappointed on Christmas morning. I probably would have discussed the concepts of not getting exactly what you want, being appreciative of the gifts you do get, needing to watch the budget etc without specifically talking about the ipod.

I am sure the disappointment will eventually pass (I don’t have any lasting scars from not getting the Barbie dream house I requested 5 years in a row LOL), but if this turns out to be a sore subject for all of you maybe you could find a way to compromise. You could turn it into a lesson about budgeting and saving for things you want. For example, you could offer to return the ipod and put the money aside to buy the more expensive one. Your daughter could do chores to earn the extra money needed for the one she wants. Of course, that means she would be without an ipod for that period of time. It may be that she decides the cheaper ipod isn’t so bad after all.

Good luck to you and best wishes for a beautiful Christmas.

You really shouldn't have even brought it up. It is your job as a parent to instill in her the values of family and being thankful for what you have, not worrying about what you don't have. It isn't good to be materialistic like that. Also you spoiled the surprise. She is also more likely to think your gift is stupid, if you are explaining to her that it is, but it's all you could afford. I am sure there is nothing wrong with the gift you have chosen, and you should have left it a surprise, and then, if she reacted poorly to it, you could handle it then. If my son were to say his gifts were not as good as another kids, I would tell him he was ungreatful and should be ashamed of himself. Think of the values you want your daughter to have.

I think we as parents put too much importance on the stuff. I include myself in this, and find that children seem to be happy with what they get. It is the parents who want their children to have THE gift. My sons are 9, 7 and daughter 4. This year has been really tight with money and I have been so worried about Christmas. After a very small Christmas, my 9 year old told me this was the best Christmas ever. He also believes in Santa (although shows doubt, question, etc.). I would not have told your daughter, but that is my opinion and I don't think you did it for any other reason that to do what you thought was best for your daughter.

Nine is a funny age. It's the time when kids are on the edge of Santa...or not Santa. I have always walked a fine line with this one, telling my girls that Santa is the spirit of Christmas, and keeping the myth alive with seperate special wrapping paper for the "from Santa" stuff. I have always told my girls to only ask for one item from Santa as we have so much (each other, plenty of food, a home, family & friends) and there are so many children in the world that aren't so lucky and need Santa's gifts more. As my girls have become older the challenge was to keep the oldest from taking Santa away from the younger ones...but I am lucky and I have good, kind children (at least when Mom let's them know it's really important).

In your position I wouldn't have really discussed with the child that she was getting the "cheeper" one. In fact, at 9 I wouldn't have considered it a viable present. I would have gone with purchaseing her a nice inexpensive mp3 player. They are easy to use, easy to load with your own music, and good to learn responsibility with. With an explaination like, "Well Santa wants you to practice with this til next year so that your sure thats what you really want and understand how to take care of it and use it. Now open up another present honey." You probably could have avoided any complications. All three of my girls would LOVE a ipod...but they are too expensive to purchase, maintain and upload x 3. We bought my oldest a really nice mp3 player for $70 that she takes everywhere and loves. So we are planning similar purchases for our other two daughters. This is an ideal time to teach that "name brands" aren't everything and there are other items that are just as good, if not better out there. But then again, this is only my opinion...and I hate buying name brand expensive items just because they are there...Best wishes & Happy Holidays