Friends with 15Y Olds Girl Friends Who Is NOT "Girl Friend"

I thought the question was obvious...

Anywho, I'd just make sure you're smiling always and joking (until you get to know her). With my kids' friends, I started off joking and smiling and teasing them (and my own kids) whenever they were here. This served two purposes. The first was so that, heaven forbid, I had to get stern with them, they knew I meant business. Secondly, it put the kids at ease. Most of my kids' friends think I'm just a big kid with authority over them. Whenever one of my kids' friends need advice, and they're afraid to go to their mom and dad, they come to me.

Start off with that, and see if her thoughts change. If they don't, chances are she thinks most adults are "mean and scary" or your son is saying that so that you stay away from her.

Your son probably exaggerated. Not a terrible thing though. Teenagers should have a bit of fear when it comes to adults. It keeps them in line. LOL!

Next time you see her just try to smile when opportunity arises. You were probably all business last time.

It might not be because of anything you have said or done in front of her. This could be in reference to something your son has said to her about you. If you are more strict than her parents, she may think you're mean. Scary could just be that for whatever reason she's intimidated by you because you're an adult. She may not be comfortable with adults or even someone trying to engage her in conversation bc she's not used to it.

Keep doing what you're doing

Sorry, what's the question here?

One of my SD's friends thought we were scary for a long time. No idea what caused it. She was always very very quiet around us. I asked SD if we were scary and she just said her friend was weird. Hasn't stopped the friend from coming by and I just kept being myself around her. I am so not scary.

Before the kids got their own phones, there were actually friends/classmates that wouldn't talk if an adult answered the phone. DH's response was "Well, then I want to meet him/her. Invite them over." DH wanted to know if it really was a shy kid or someone who shouldn't be talking to his 12 yr old daughter.

How do we talk to them? Usually like they are regular human beings. Hi, how are you? Etc. If they are intimidated by you, then don't be overbearing but ask what you need to know, and if you get answers from your son instead, that's OK. Sometimes one kid will talk for a group.

Oh don't take it personally!

I know most all of the kids at my kids' school. I work there part-time.
Some of them think I am mean and strict and scary. They tell my kids. So what. My kids tell them I am not.
The kids who are friends with my kids' know me and know I am fine.
Whatever.

Some kids thought my Dad was mean and scary. He wasn't.
So what.

Just invite the girl in the house.
She's your son's friend-girl-buddy, right?