Friends - Anoka,MN

Hey wana be my best friend? lol
Im in the SAME situation :)

I lost all my friends when I started having babies. Well the ones I thought were my best friends.
I also moved from chicago to ohio.
So here I am, in ohio....
I'm a 25y/o SAHM to two kids..and besides my siblings, (who all live in different states) I have NO friends...
Well I have my hubby, but thats pretty much it.
So far I think I just have bad luck or bad taste in friends? I dunno, all i know is that the people I thought were my friends out here, totally blew me off and haven't talked to me in over a year or more. Yay?

So, I don't know lol Maybe I'm too weird for everyone around Akron, oh. lol Totally kidding...kinda :)

Don't give up...there is someone (other than your hubby) who would love to be your friend. But you are going to have to put yourself out there.

Are the qualities you listed things you may not like about them or you? Sometimes when I don't like someone it's usually a quality about myself that I see in them that I don't like.

I'm not trying to be mean here...just keeping and making friends is a two way street and compromises have to be made. Did this person who emailed you, have a totally lame excuse or could it be possible that it was the truth and you could try again?

I know it can be hard, so big hugs! I have some of the same problems but you have to get out there to make friends. You can't sit at home worrying about if they really like you, do they really want to be friends, what they're saying behind your back, etc. Those questions might still run along the back of your mind when you're with your friend, but ignore them. I have made the mistake of pushing so many people away because I was so worried about what they thought of me. I have missed out on a lot of wonderful relationships because of that.

I have met so many people through my Church, the kids play groups & classes, parents of my kids classmates, volunteering around town, etc. One of my close friends I actually met at a park near my house. I watched her with her kids for weeks before I finally had enough gumption to actually talk to her and now I kick myself for not doing it sooner! LOL Your friends don't have to be exactly like you! You can't have a set of guidelines. You might find someone that matches that list perfectly, but still hate them! And sometimes they're so opposite you that you wonder what you actually have in common and why are you friends? But at times, they're the best because they're exactly what may be needed to pull you out of the doldrums as well as encourage you to do something or experience something you might not otherwise do (I'm not talking illegal here).

So bigs hugs again. Send another message to your friend and set up a different time. If she keeps blowing you off, then go in another direction. But do give her the chance. You never know!

Are you in a position that you can go back to school? Even if you just take a class at a community college in something that interest you, it could be a good start. Think about it:

1. You are doing something that other people find interesting as well.

2. You have to go at least once/twice a week, so you will see the same people consistently each week, so you can get to know them better.

3. There is less pressure to maintain a friendship that you are not comfortable with, at the end of the semester, you either move on, or...

4. If you have made a consistent friend with someone, find out what other courses they are taking and join them!

I'm sure things will work out for you. Try not to take it personally if it doesn't, just keep trying! Good luck!

First I would stop saying x has Y problem so I wont hang out with her. That isn't going to get you anywhere in the friends department. For one thing they could be saying things about you like "She's a snob because of Y."
I have many friends whom at times I don't like them because of XYZ, but they are human and you can't fault them for it. Now if it's a very negative thing, then yeah, be picky and don't be involved, but if it's something small, meh. Get over it.
For example, I am more of a "natural" mom. I cloth diaper, I eat meat sparingly, the meat I eat is humanly raised and no hormones. 98% of my friends on the other hand are all meat eating fiends who would rather throw reusable items away so that they don't have to deal with it. It bugs me to know end, but hey, it's their life choices not mine.
I'd suggest going to a local park and meet the mom's there. That's where I met half of my new mom friends. Do it, you wont be sorry!!!

Friendships are never easy because we can all get hurt and be dissapointed. All I can say is that you have to let your guard down a bit to give someone a chance. I would try to get involved in some activities you like doing where you might meet some like minded people.

I have always wanted my husband as a best friend. They end up knowing so much about you each day. I just love myself and keep myself strong and people gravitate to me. I really don't care if I am close with any of them but I do go out with them sometimes. I just tend to put all of my passion into my family.

I think you are doing yourself a disservice by being picky about finding someone who shares the same values and interests. I say this as a person who has pushed away people due to them not having the same interests and values and now regret it. There was a lady in my old neighborhood who seemed to really be pushing for a friendship, but I was reluctant because she was very conservative and religious, and I am not; she had much more conservative ideas regarding child raising than I do; we didn't share very many interests (or so I thought). We have since moved and I am her friend on Facebook. If I would have given her more of a chance, I would have learned (before I moved away!) that we shared a TON of interests. She might not have become my BFF but I think if I had been open to it, we could have been pretty good pals.

I think I have since learned my lesson. I have been lucky enough to reconnect with several old friends from school. 1 of them is married with kids my kids' ages but has very different religious ideas than I do. Another is single and again, different religious ideas. Another has similar ideas, kids the same age, but wildly different ethical choices...you get the picture. It hasn't held us back from being friends.

I think you should try again with the friend who canceled last time. I also think your best bet is to meet a variety of people on a regular basis and see which friendships develop into something closer. Some ideas: join a book club or see if some of your aquaintances want to form one; try a fitness class, enroll your children in some activities where you might meet other moms, take your kids to the park, see if there is a local playgroup you can join, take a cooking class, go back to school, ask your husband if he has any coworkers he likes that might want to go out for drinks or come over for a BBQ.

I stuggle too. The last friend I had stole my job, and got me fired. So its hard to let someone be my friend. I don't want to go through that again so just eaiser not to have any.

My oldest is 5 and I haven't made a close friend with kids the same age. I've met some other moms I say hello to in playgroup or story hour but that's it. You could see if there is a MOMS or MOPS group in your area. If you have the chance you could try and take a class or join a group for yourself. It is probably harder for you to find friends your age because you had your kids younger than most. But then you will also be younger when they are grown. (Having babies later has a different set of pros and cons.)

I'm still close with some of my high school and college friends but we are not all on parallel life paths. A few are, but my best friend says she will never have kids.

Wow, I was actually going to write a similar question on here, because I'm going through the exact same thing. It's too bad that we don't live in the same state! :-) Unfortunately I don't have any advice on what to do, but I can relate. I lost touch with all my friends from high school when I went to college, and then I had my kids early, too (I was 21 and 23). I stopped keeping in touch with my college friends, and we've moved around a lot since my husband and I got married (five times in the past 8 years) which also has made it difficult.

We've been in our current city for almost a year, and I've made some casual acquaintances, but no one who could be considered a close friend (not even close). I'm really shy, and I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I don't consistently get out and talk with others, so I've been frustrated with your same problem. I do the same thing you do--I start to think of reasons why I can't be friends with someone. I did connect with someone, but then haven't heard from her since before Christmas, so I was really discouraged by that. I guess we just have to keep trying, keep making connections, and hopefully one day those casual friendships will become close ones. Maybe it takes years? I'd love to hear other people's opinions and experiences on this topic, it would help a lot. Thanks for posting it!

From middle school to after high school (until 20sh) I had 2 best friends. I got pregnant at 20 then had my daughter, we have drifted over the years, ever once in awhile we talk, never like it was then... I have met a lot of friends, never as close but pretty close. I have friend of all ages, ethnics, regions, it has amazes me the people I've met in my life. I would say my jobs and just moving state to state has opened up the doors. I know my personality makes it easy to become friends with people. I think what you are willing to do for another is what you will get back in return, if that makes sense. I've never looked for a friend, just start talking, have something in common, then it just developed a little more. I do have a strong belief in God and I think he has filled my life with wonderful friends. Also, I have a lot of women who are older than me and I've learn so much from them.

Put yourself out there, open up, I never say too much until I get to know someone, but life is a blessing, let someone bless you! You don't have to do or think the same on everything, look at their character, enjoy them for who they are. I have some sassy friends, sweeter than butter friends, all kinds and l love each of them for who they are.

Try to find friends that you may have overlooked due to age, race or income. I have a close older lady friend that I pick up monthly and take her to the church;s food pantry. We sit in the long lines and chat with other seniors. Then we stop for take out and get odds and ends at a drug store before I take her back home. She does not drive.

Another guy I befriended is a younger guy, a loner, former co-worker. He and I discuss how the friends that we had on the job were kiss butts. Lol.

Another guy I met via mutual acquaintances. He is not in a rest home but his mind in sharp. I take time twice a week to drop in on him and chat about politics and our county.

I do not spend a lot of time with friends as I find it less stimulating and more judgmental on both of our ends.