Friend Support When Starting Home Business

Updated on March 10, 2012
C.M. asks from Beloit, WI
23 answers

My current job is really slow right now. So slow in fact that I just had to take 2 weeks off and possibly more in the future. I have 2 small children and my husband is very slow at his job too (on average 20 hours a week). We are struggling a lot and some weeks its hard to even buy groceries. So I decided to start selling Lia Sophia Jewelry to make up for the lost income. I've been asking some of my friends to help me by hosting my first 5 parties (your first bookings) and I've gotten a number of no's for one reason or another. 2 of them in fact ran a home based business before (lia sophia in fact) and understand how it is to start a business. And I've also gotten ignored as well. Yes, I do plan on calling and talking to those ignored people directly but I was wondering, I'm I being unreasonable to think that my friends would want to help me and support my new business? I realize some people aren't home party people and some just don't have the money. But I would hope that some of my friends would realize it's this or not feed my family and help me out a bit. Thoughts?

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So What Happened?

Nothing like an eye opener seeing what an awful person you are by hoping your friends would support you. Especially since I have and would always support them in the exact same way. I guess ignoring people is no longer considered rude.

I have searched for a new job and even with the little amount we make, we are not destitute enough to qualify for support. Medical bills don't count.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I would not appreciate being volunteered to help sell MLM jewelry. Sorry. It's not that I don't support my friends, it's that I don't want to literally have to support their livelihood by hosting a party. I have things going on in MY life, too. I don't have time to throw people jewelry parties. I certainly don't have the energy to be volunteered into it. I'd much rather just buy her groceries, or pay some bills.

I'm sorry, I just wouldn't feel comfortable being responsible for putting food on my friend's table, by hosting a party!

9 moms found this helpful

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Back in the day I did Pampered Chef. I asked, they said yes or no we moved on. You hold your friends accountable for not wanting to deal with at home parties you are going to lose or at least be avoided by a lot of your friends.

Yes you are being unreasonable, starting your business is your responsibility not your friends.

Why did you pick Lia Sophia anyway? Unlike most other parties you almost can't leave without either buying nothing or spending a hundred. No one wants to go to them.

Read your what happened, I hope you don't treat your friends like you do us, having a temper tantrum because we didn't tell you what you wanted to hear?

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B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Friends are friends and business is business...never the two shall meet.

I would be put off by a friend pressuring me to host a party. As for calling the people that have ignored you. Please listen and listen well. TAKE THE HINT!! You are on a crash course to lose a lot of friends if you keep pressuring them. They did not create this situation for you and it is not up to them to bail you out. You might get a better response asking for donations although I would NOT recommend this either.

My recommendation would be either you or your husband take on a part time job until things pick up and keep your friends your friends.

11 moms found this helpful

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I understand this is sensitive and you want your friends to be supportive, but in this case... my opinion...

Yes, you are being unreasonable. There are many home businesses out there. If your friends are truly interested in your business then it is great if they want to have a party, but you are unreasonable to feel they are not supporting you if they don't want the jewelry or don't want to have a party.

I don't think it is fair to depend on your friends for that type of support. I DO think it is fair to expect them to be positive about your new endeavor and happy for you in your new venture.

Imagine this. You are on a budget, but five of your nearest and dearest decide to start a home business this year. You have absolutely no interest in the businesses. Should you have 5 parties to support your friends anyway? And what if your husband works for Starbucks. Should your friends go there and buy Latte's even if they don't like coffee? See what I mean?

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

I don't want to appear insensitive, but your friends don't owe it to you to have a party. I have several friends that have home based businesses and I cringe every time they ask me to host. If I say no (and I hate home selling parties, so I do say no) and they persist, I do start ignoring them because it really bugs me that they feel entitled to making money through me. I actually had one friend claim that I didn't care about her since I declined making a huge order from her vitamin company. I avoid her at all costs now because she only sees me as part of her paycheck and she really does think I owe it to her.

I am sorry that you are struggling and I wish you the best in your business! I do want to point out that it's not a choice between Lia Sophia or not putting food on the table. You can work at a retail store, a grocery store, a coffee shop or even McDonalds until things start to turn around for you.

Edit* C., you asked and we answered. No one here was unkind and warrented a snarky answer from you. Your friends can support you in other ways than finances. It doesn't matter if you would do it for them, they are not you and that's okay. If you don't change your attitude, then you might lose some friends over this. This will probably make you even angrier, but it's your responsibility to put food on your table, not your friends and that's the way it is. Sorry that the truth sometimes hurts. I don't mean that in a snarky way at all. The truth does sometimes hurt, but having friends avoid you because they don't like the pressure of hosting a party ALSO hurts. I hope that you can take our advice as something constructive, not as an offense. It certainly wasn't intended that way!

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

Many of us don't have budgets to support our friends in such endeavors. Not only are yiu asking the host to provide food and drinks for people, but then you are asking them to ask their friends to buy things.

I've never been comfortable with this stuff and when friends have asked me to buy unnecessary things because they are starting a business, I tell them no. Might as well just ask me for cash. It feels like the same thing.

8 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I do not mix business with friends.

I would have been one to decline your idea simply because I hate parties like this and when you send an invitation to a party such as Tupperware, Pampered Chef, Mona Vie, etc... you are basically sending an invoice, asking for money$$$

I almost lost a friendship with 1 friend (only acquaintance now) because she would not stop pushing MonaVie on me and trying to recruit me on her team. We didn't speak for months when I told her I respectfully decline her offers.

Yes, I would have declined politely instead of ignoring you. Hopefully you are not putting these friends' on the spot and making them feel obligated to you. If you are not financially able to have your own parties and network then maybe it is in your best interest to seek other alternatives to earning money. Why should your friends financially get you started? Businesses are not run on the funds of friends.

I tend to run for the hills when I hear someone talking about a party of some sort and selling things I don't want or need.

I'd probably just write you a check for the amount of stuff I would have been expected to purchase at this party. Your friends do not "owe" you.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It's not their home business.
But you want them to "Host" your first 5 parties. In their home.
It is not their business.
But you want them to host it.

You can also research WIC in your city, or social services or food pantries as well. And research State funded medical insurance programs for you/your Husband/your kids. And see if you qualify for all of these.

Or find a part time job... your Husband as well, and work nights or weekends.

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P.H.

answers from Dallas on

I don't blame your friends at all. I had a friendship end because all she did was continually push Mary Kay on me. To me that is very disrespectful. If people don't want to have a party or buy your products, that is their choice. I think after you ask once, don't ask again!

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H.M.

answers from Denver on

You really don't make a lot of money doing those parties - you'd be better off getting an evening part/time job and working as a waitress or something - then you wouldn't have to ask your friends to support your side business and have cash on hand.

Sorry - I sell Jockey clothes and we were doing it for fun (my gf and I) and it was so hard to get people to host parties - it's just not that fun and alot of the items are expensive...

Good luck

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L.N.

answers from New York on

i have many friends who do pampered chef. i personally hate pampered chef, not necessarily for the products, but because for every possible event, these moms want to host a pampered chef party. whoever has a bday, or a celebratory event, or bridal shower or you name if, they insist on doing pampered chef. people who have these businesses have to understand their products are expensive, how else would you be making money? i have been to a lia sophia party and i couldn't get out faster even if i tried. 120 bucks for a bracelet? in whose world? not mine. so i totally understand your friends and if i were you i would back off. if they are showing no interest, then the message given to you is clear.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

I agree with everyone else so far. There's moral support which can be expected from friends but you're looking for more tangible support via time and money and that's not fair. A good friend of mine is doing the selling jewelry thing. I really like some of the stuff and can afford it so have been her best customer. But she had to invest in inventory etc and it's not paying off at all. I think she regrets it now. And she keeps going back to the same well so to speak. How many times can her friends buy jewlery? In her case, it's annoying bc she's a spender so expects everyone else to be as well but in not so many words I've told her - they may have money to spend but it's bc they dont' blow theirs the way you do yours so don't expect them now to bail you out. Not saying your situation is the same at all but in general, it's not working well for her and it cost money upfront she hasn't earned back in well over 6 months. I wouldn't do it nevermind the friend issue.

ETA: you may be so stressed you're not seeing this clearly. Everyone so far thinks you're expecting too much but you disagree. Honestly, if a friend was in that bad circumstances, I'd rather just give her money. That's basically what you're asking them to do but via a lot more work for them than just handing you money. In addition, they may be balking bc they don't think it's ultimately worth the effort for you. I want my friend to do well but I could have seen this coming a mile away - she's lost money, not made money. Do any of your friend have a business that you could work for even if they don't really need the help? Or babysit their children for money? Likely they don't realize how tough times are for you as well as just hating this whole home party thing. Some peopel think it's fun and others hate it. If you've thrown parties for their similar businesses though, then yeah, they should reciprocate.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

It sounds like you should be working at a big box store for a few hours at night and weekends until things get better.

People who sell the jewelry line you have usually have money to set themselves up properly. You can't expect your friends to help you with your business because it is your business and you have to work it -- they don't. They gave your answer by not responding honor it and move one.

If you have to do it find something that they all use and like that would work.

Good luck to you.

The other S.

PS Never count on friends or family to help you with a business. They say they will but they won't.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

You're not unreasonable to hope your friends will support your new business... but what you're forgetting is that not only are you asking your friends to give up an evening, you're also asking them to spend their money, and invite THEIR friends who will have to spend money too. So basically they do the marketing for you and have to spend money.

It's always so uncomfortable when people ask me to host a party for tupperware or jewelry or whatever. I hate disappointing them, but I just don't have the extra money to spend on something I don't want. And I don't want to hassle my friends into coming either.

I agree with the previous poster - you don't make a lot of money selling stuff at parties. Why not just get an evening job at Target or somewhere like that?

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K.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Might I suggest putting yourself in your friends' shoes for a moment? You are very short on money, so clearly have no extra income to splurge on frivolous items. If one of these 5 friends came to you tomorrow and asked YOU to host a jewelry party, would you?

Having hosted parties for friends before, I know it is not an easy endeavor. You must clean your home, spend time inviting and replying to guests, provide munchies, and dress to impress. And on top of that you pretty much HAVE TO buy stuff.

Clearly, you yourself are not even in a position to host one of your own parties, and yet your feelings are hurt because others choose not to as well? Please try and see it from their perspective.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

In this economy, home-based parties seem to be much more of a rarity. I haven't been invited to one in ages. People are budget shopping and trimming back so it makes it very tough to sell what you are doing. So please don't be upset with your friends.

In speaking about how to keep business and friendship separate...5 years ago I had a lot of friends doing various home party businesses. Some were very good about maintaining a clear line between when they were talking business and when they were not. The ones I didn't resent were the friends who simply let it be known that they were doing the business and then didn't ever mention it again unless they were going to be at a community event or something and then they just sent a note to say stop on by to visit if you want. The obnoxious friends were the ones that would call up and keep trying to convince how awesome the product was and how I just couldn't live without. So keep it low key and look to build the business outside your friend network...look for small fairs you can attend to get your name out there, advertise on craigslist, etc. Also research businesses and pick something that you think is most likely to be popular. I preferred parties that involved books or food items. Find a newer company that not as many have bought from yet. People are looking for unique experiences.

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V.C.

answers from Dallas on

Even though I have a home-based business, I hate home parties and built my business in other ways. Maybe you should find one that has consumable products that people are already buying and could switch brands to yours.
Check out danijohnson.com for some free info and training.

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I do not go to home parties that are selling something. It's too uncomfortable for me. I would feel a lot of pressure to buy something, and I think that if I buy something, it should be because I want or need it, not because someone was pressuring me to buy it.

Also, I don't think those sorts of "home businesses" are a good idea. You just can't make enough money. Too risky.

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D.B.

answers from Eau Claire on

I like that you are trying to start a home business. My problem is that with Lia Sophia its expensive. I know I would never be able to purchase anything at a party. I like others like Pampered Chef, Avon, etc. where they have $1 items that you can buy if you are broke.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I hate to say this, but when the economy is tough and people have to decide what bills are getting paid and whether to get their favorite brand or generic, expecting to make money selling jewelry, which is totally not a necessity (well, for most people anyway LOL), isn't really a realistic thing. If it's an MLM setup, that's even less appealing, because it takes forever to get anywhere with many of those products.

I wish I could offer suggestions of something you COULD do in the off time. Is your current skillset marketable in some way? If things are that bad, find out what social services are available to you so you can take care of your family. Perhaps brainstorm with friends to see what else you can do. Or use the time to look for a new job, just in case.

Good luck!

EDIT: re the medical bills thing, call the people you owe and see if you can go on a payment plan or defer them. I have a surgery bill for my son that I pay as much as I can when I can, but when things were tight, I was able to pay $10/month just to keep an ongoing payment going.

Edit2: If you belong to a church, talk to them. They may be able to help you re. food or something. You never know.

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A.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Wow! You are expecting your "friends" to host parties? It may not be your intent, and if I misunderstood I apologize, but it sounds like you feel your friendship requires them to host parties due to your current financial difficulties. You may have an easier time just asking for donations. Given the current economy, a lot of families are struggling. I have definitely reduced spending on non essentials, which is what you are selling. Maybe you should approach your friends with an attitude of let's have some fun and enjoy company.

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N.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Unfortunately, it can sometimes be the people that we think would be the msot supportive who are the least. Out of my 5 best friends, only 2 are customers of mine, and not even half my family supports me. Try not to sweat it; don't let it ruin your friendships! Talk to people you know more casually, and look for free or inexpensive events to do, i.e. Spring Fairs, etc. Good luck to you!!!

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

wow everyone seems to be really on you for this. Personally, if I was going to start and MLM,yes, I would need friends and family to help. That is what gets the process snowballing to new people etc. If one of my friends became a rep for any of the MLMS and ask me to host a party I would do it for her. Would I want to? Maybe not, it is a pain trying to gather people and host,but I would do it regardless if she was broke and needed the money or was doing this on the side. But dont ruin friendships over this. People are busy. Hosting a party takes a 3 hour chunk out of the day or night. People maybe be broke also. Ive never heard of Lia Sophia, but everyone is saying they are expensive. Maybe find a cheaper MLM to work with. Good luck with your business!

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