Friend Sleepover Sleeping Arrangements in Home Ideas?

Updated on September 08, 2018
M.S. asks from Warren, NJ
19 answers

Hi Moms,
Could you kindly share ideas on how you do sleeping arrangements for sleepovers.
My teen son ( new 14) will have a friend ( 13) from out of town sleepover so they can attend an all day function for a friend in the morning and I didn't know best sleep situation? Do I use a blow up bed and place in his room (not even sure if it would fit and concern his bedroom is right next to his younger brother who is a light sleeper) or let them use 2 bedrooms in basement or let guest use basement bedroom and give them a curfew time. It is carpeted and fully finished so not that basement creepy feel. I am re-doing basement rec room that was once the play room and dont have large sofa so that is more a bare carpeted room with tiny sofa. I could put blow up bed in there I guess along with loveseat sofa as one idea?
They actually know each other from summer sleepaway camp and have been known to stay up all night or chat away till 2 am at camp. I do not know this boy or family personally. They have an out of town early morning affair for another camp friend and I want them to NOT stay up all night.
Curious how other moms do sleeping arrangements for sleepovers for boys or even teens?

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Featured Answers

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

sorry - you are wwwwaaayyy overthinking this.
They are teenagers - let them sleep on the floor - blankets or sleeping bags in the basement.

7 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

sleepovers for teenage boys- or any boys- or girls, i suppose, for that matter- don't require this degree of overthinking.

we started sleepovers WAY younger than this. all we've ever done is throw tons of pillows and blankets and sometimes sleeping bags into their room or the living room (depending on how many were staying over) and let them build their own nests.

sometimes if it was just one friend they'd just both nod off in the bed. when my boys got separate rooms they each got queen beds so there was room for both, and usually a dog and cat or two.

when there were boys and girls we just had a no-closed door policy. they still slept in puppy piles wherever the movies and snacks or games happened.

khairete
S.

6 moms found this helpful

More Answers

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

At that age, they are old enough to figure it out and choose sleeping arrangements.

If they do stay up all night, they’ll suffer the consequences the following day.

Don’t overthink it. Keep it simple.

9 moms found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I had to read this a few times because I just didn't understand haha!
My girls did sleepovers for years, other than my very strict rule about keeping quiet after midnight they have been left to figure it out for themselves, especially by the time they were teenagers. This was a regular part of our lives through scouts and sports, well into high school.
If they forgot to bring a sleeping bag I gave them a pillow and blanket. They usually ended up on the floor of whatever room they were in :-)

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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

They are teenagers! throw some blankets on the floor or give them sleeping bags. They don't need a blow up mattress!

Give them a hard line time for lights out and ensure everyone knows the rules of the house!

4 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I'd put them both downstairs in the basement bedrooms with a firm lights out time and let them know you'll be getting them up at what ever early time you set.
At 13 and 14 - it's possible they will be up all night - but then they'll deal with the consequences of being tired next day.
They are young - they'll burn their candle on both ends every once in awhile no matter what you do.

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My son and his friends slept on the couch and floor in the family room. I just threw some sleeping bags, pillows and blankets at them and they were good to go. My girls usually preferred to be in their rooms with friends, but again mostly they were on the floor with a few on the bed. Beyond making breakfast I didn't really go out of my way to set up anything special the way I would for adult guests. Lucky for me my kids and most of their friends were easy going and didn't need to be fussed over.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

Let them decide. I have two boys that are a year apart and we had many, many sleepovers with one to six guests at a time. They are good at figuring out the logistics and how they want it. Often times, it was quite a convoluted ordeal to get set up, but in the end it always worked out. You'd be surprised at how easily a teen can fall asleep happily in all sorts of conditions and really have no need for blowup beds even.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I let my kids decide. They're old enough to sort this out...let them know what the options are and they'll figure it out. When my oldest was at this age, they used to crash on our basement seating. None of it seemed large enough or comfortable enough for a good night's sleep but that's what they chose. My younger boys are now 12 and 14 and their sleepovers usually take place on the sectional in our family room. They share a room so sometimes the one sleeping over and his friend will take both beds in the bedroom and the other will take the couch but usually they just crash on the couch, or put the cushions on the floor, etc.

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R..

answers from San Antonio on

I would ask my son 13, almost 14 where he wanted his friend and himself to sleep.
He maybe more comfortable upstairs with the bed and air mattress or find being in the basement an adventure.

So, let him have some input and don't expect much sleeping to be done they will probably visit or want to all night. Just let it be known that if they choose to stay up too late you won't tolerate grumpy boys in the morning. I hope they have a terrific time.

3 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

With my teen son, we just throw out blankets and sleeping bags and pillows and let them figure it out. They all always end up sleeping upstairs in my son's room...all over the place. Our rule is you have to go to bed by midnight and they have to be quiet after 10. They are good kids...they always follow the rules and that's why I keep allowing sleepovers!

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C.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Let them stay in the basement room on air mattresses, like Camping out, or in the back yard in a tent, and give them trust and some space. Also give them a consequence if they mess up, like sneak out, or don't get up on time. A wise Pediatrician always said give them a consequence up front and then follow through if they break the rules. In any situation... concerts, parties, sleepovers, etc...

3 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I'd put them in the basement area with the blow-up bed or sleeping bags on the floor. This would put them away from the light sleeper, and give them a feeling of independence. I'd combine a statement about your trust in their judgment with a strong talking-to about their obligation to their mutual friend to get a decent amount of sleep or to be prepared to tell the other people there that they aren't mature enough to think ahead! (I'm kidding - sort of).

If this event for the other kid is a huge deal - some big honor of some sort, that's one thing. If it's his birthday and there will be 20 other kids there, that's a little less important in that all of the obligation isn't on your son and the visiting boy. I'd give my own son a bit of a chat about the last time he was miserable from exhaustion and ask if he wants that again this time. I'd tell him that teen privileges (being left unsupervised, going to certain places that have been off-limits until now, and soon things like a learner's permit) will depend on his exercise of good judgment now. But I wouldn't lecture the other kid about that.

If they are keeping your whole family up late, then you clamp down and separate them.

Have they never had sleepovers before? That could be part of the problem. I'd have a few more without a major event for someone else the next day so they learn the hard way to feel tired and miserable and still have to get up to mow the lawn or whatever. Some people learn by experience, you know? So give your child those experiences!

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E.B.

answers from Honolulu on

If this event for the third friend is a once-in-a-lifetime event with a ceremony (significant religious event, Eagle Scout presentation, the kind of event where the guests are expected to dress and act with decorum), then I'd make sure to put a couple of guidelines into place. Boundaries like quiet hours, etc., making sure the boys are aware of the time they must be ready to leave for the event, dressed appropriately. Be prepared to help with tying neckties, ironing shirts, etc.

But if this is a pretty laid-back event (birthday, end-of-summer family/friends BBQ, etc) where guests can dress casually and where solemn behavior will not be expected, I'd pretty much just accept the fact that the boys won't sleep much, that there might be some noise, that the younger brother might be disturbed a couple of times. Of course you can have some house rules such as not emptying out the fridge (make sure they know which snacks/sodas are for them), not charging up and down the stairs at 3 in the morning, use volume control for music or games, general respect for the rest of the family. They're teens, and if they're going to a fun event, they'll survive even on very little sleep. Let them stay up, have fun, and let them decide the best sleeping options.

If your son doesn't have sleepovers often, use this time to evaluate his manners, his respect for the home/family when guests are present, observation of house rules (no sneaking a beer from the fridge, no off-limits computer use, etc). Make sure to tell him what the general expectations are when he has a guest over, without making it too rigid, in advance. And be sure to tell him that if there's a problem (guest suggests sneaking out, guest brought contraband substance in backpack, guest is making your son uncomfortable) that he can come and talk to you, and you will quietly make your presence known without going ballistic, to diffuse the situation.

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D..

answers from Miami on

If you don’t want them staying up part of the night and waking up the sibling, put the guest in the basement. Don’t treat it as a “sleepover “.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

We always let the kids sleep in the same room when they're having sleepovers. You need to set the limit with a lights out time and a go to sleep time. It doesn't matter if you choose to let them use your son's room or the basement - just keep them together.

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C.C.

answers from New York on

Sleeping bags are fine! Since they know each other from sleepaway camp, they are accustomed to not always sleeping in a luxurious bed!

I think the one rule you can pretty easily "enforce" if you want to is to tell them to stay in the basement so as not to disturb other family members. Just make snacks easily accessible in the kitchen so that they won't need to crash around noisily searching for food after younger brother is asleep.

You can "give them a curfew" but you say that they already have enjoyed late nights of lying awake talking so don't be surprised if they do. But at least a "curfew" might prevent midnight video games or other noisy activities that could disturb the younger brother. If they are just in the basement talking and laughing it probably won't bother anyone.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

We have an air mattress and sleeping bag my daughter’s friends use in her room for sleep overs. Unless you have an egress window or your basement is a walkout I would never put kids in the basement to sleep. The stairs could too easily become blocked in a fire.

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S.U.

answers from St. Cloud on

Our son has the basement bedroom and we put in a chaise lounge that reclines to a single bed, we set a time limit for lights and movies. Same with our daughter, she has an extra bed in her room as well and we set a time for lights out.

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