So I have a friend that has been in ICU for about a week. We are not close, we have hung out a dozen times, meetup at park occasionally when the kids get home from school, etc. Anyway, her husband has been updating facebook with very cryptic meesages, never really saying what happened or what is wrong. There have been severeal comments about waht is going on, but he posts random updates. I know she was intubated for the better part of a week, so I know it is serious. Mostly his posts are about God, prayers, faith etc. So, my question is, with all that, would you make a trip to the hospital? I do want to show my support and I did send him messages asking if we could pick up his son from school and take him to dinner or somthing to help out. I know it's a silly thought to some, but I do not want to intrude. Should I go to the hospital and bring flowers or something else? Thanks!
If she's in ICU, hold the flowers unless you KNOW she can have them...most of the time they can't in that unit.
Go to the hospital (as a friend they may not let you in to see her since she's in ICU) so you can at least talk to the hubby or family members.
I guess I would wait and see what he says about helping with his son. You could always make a meal and drop it by. Those little things sometimes help alot. If she is in ICU they may not allow visitors other than immediate family anyways. You could also get some of the other moms from the meetup to cook a meal too or just a treat like cookies/brownies/fresh fruit. He is probably overwhelmed right now. Hope she recovers....then give her flowers and more meals as she recovers!!!:) Hope this helps...
you could call the hospital and ask if she is in a condition to receive visitors, i.e. not overly sedated and she will remember you were there. If she is I would go, even if you just visit for half an hour. Perhaps call the dad and offer to pick up the son. I know if there is illness in our house I do not get to a computer for days, so with something serious maybe he just does not have time and is posting from his smart phone as he has time. The son may love some play time to forget about what is happening.
men are just cryptic period. he might not be one for openness on the net. Ask him to get a Caring Bridge website. ITs medical based and easy to use. Only those he wants to notify can see it when he gives out link and passwords. Then not everyone is seeing the post. It might be a problem that is sensitive in nature. He may not know how to express what is happening. Best to call him not read on face book. I would, if you feel you want too, I would go see her. People always say they remember visits, touches, songs. Even when heavily sedated. it might help her perk up and fight harder if she knew more people cared!! when my mom was in a medically induced coma while dying of septicemia, her blood pressure and stats would even out and return to normal when we sang songs, and held her hand. She died anyway but we felt that she knew we were there.
I think you are doing great. Ask him if he thinks his wife is up to having a visitor.
Ask again about picking up the children.. Maybe make the family a meal?
Always offer from your heart. He can then respond the way he feels comfortable.
I would go with the ideas of helping with her son and scheduling meals. When I was in the hospital, I was most worried about my family. I felt so much better when I knew my girlfriends rallied to take care of my family the way I would have.
When my husband was in ICU, only family could visit and no flowers...and honestly, I don't know that he would have liked having anybody but me there :/. I REALLY like your idea of helping with their son. Whatever it is that is going on with her...I'm sure it's been h*** o* her son. When my husband was in ICU, we knew about it ahead of time (he had open heart surgery for a congenital heart defect)...we were able to talk to the kids about daddy being in the hospital...but it was still h*** o* them. I'm not sure if anybody who has 'been there done that' has suggestions on ways to help the son...but I'm sure that would be something she would appreciate!
Well just from my experience in being in Cardiac ICU and how I felt...I didn't even really like when my family came to visit...It sounds bad but I was in bad shape and didn't have the energy to "visit"
Now with that being said once I was transfered to IMC (intermediate care) I loved having visitors, I felt better and was doing better and needed to chat and talk.
Helping that dad out with errands and things is a great help...I loved that my friends helped take care of my hubby and kids when I couldn't it made it less stressful being usless in bed.
I would go to the hospital, if you cant see her, you can at least leave a card to let her know you care. Taking her son is a great idea. The father may need the help. Her little boy could probably use the normalcy of a park day or out with you guys. I am so sorry.
Call the hospital and see if non-family members are allowed to visit and ask if flowers are allowed in her room. depending upon what is wrong - you might not be able to go to the hospital or send her flowers.
I love that you sent a PM to the husband and asked him what you can do to help out at this time! he might not get back with you right away. If you have the house phone number - call him. You can also post on FB and tell him you are willing to help out picking up the kids, etc.
I hope she makes a speedy recovery.
