Fraternal Twins Seem Ready to Drop AM Nap at Different Times

Updated on June 22, 2011
A.T. asks from USAF Academy, CO
7 answers

I am confused about how to transition my fraternal twins from two naps to one nap per day, when one of them is showing clear signs of being ready but the other probably needs more time. With my work schedule and the fact that they share a room, having them on different schedules is not an option for us. My goal is to find a balance between keeping them synchronized while allowing for their individual differences. I don't want to push either one too hard, but I also need a semblance of routine.

My twins, a boy and a girl, are 14 1/2 months. They are on a pretty good schedule of two naps per day, one at 9:30 and one at 2:30, usually for about an hour or a little longer. Although my daughter seems to need a little more sleep than my son, they share a room and have adapted to each other's schedules. Recently, they are taking longer to wind down for both naps, and sometimes they'll play and talk for up to 45 minutes before falling asleep. This might happen for morning nap, afternoon nap, or both. My son seems to be the ringleader and I get the sense my daughter is more tired and would happily sleep if left to her own devices. This afternoon my son barely napped at all (he played in his crib for 45 minutes) while my daughter slept for over an hour. My question is, how should I deal with transitioning them both to one nap, when one of them seems ready but the other doesn't? They share a room, and with my work schedule, having them on separate routines is not an option for us, as much as I want to let them do their own thing. Should I try to shift their morning nap to later and later and just hope for the best? I want to reach a compromise but not push either one too hard. I would very much appreciate any advice you all can offer.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for their helpful suggestions. I have decided to ride this out for a little while, and let my son have "quiet" (ha!) time in his crib while my daughter naps, as that seems to be working for the moment. I should have clarified earlier that I work from home with minimal childcare help, which is the main reason why synchronizing their schedules is so important to me. I'll give it some time and when my son is truly ready to give up the morning nap, I'll try to slowly transition them both. It won't be perfect, but then again, neither is parenting twins! :)

More Answers

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

14 1/2 months seems young to end the morning nap, although, I'm sure many kids do. However, many don't, so if your daughter still needs it, it seems like you should let her have it. I know you say it's "not an option" to have them on different schedules, but you can't force kids to sleep (no matter how hard we try!), nor can you keep them awake if they're tired. My sister has twins, and from day 1 everyone says, put them on the same schedule. But, it's important to remember that they are two different people. If you had them 2 years apart, one would probably have a different napping schedule than the other.

I'm not sure what your work schedule has to do with it, since if you had one child, you probably would not be trying to change what his/her body was naturally trying to do. Especially since most 14 1/2 month olds still take 2 naps. One can still nap when the other doesn't, even if they share a room. Probably better to get them used to that now, so that if they continue to differ later, it won't seem strange for one of them to nap without the other.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

My twins dropped their afternoon nap at 15 months, but they still slept like champs in the morning. It made for a loooooong afternoon/evening. Try slowly adjusting the morning nap by making it 15 minutes later every few days. Really, the only thing you can do is try it out. I completely understand where you're at. Our twins share a room and having them on different schedules is NOT an option in this house!

M.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Blast! I have 4 friends with twins, all born within 3wks of my son - 3 of them fraternal and 1 with identical. The babies always had different nap times until they got down to one nap, then they were and are napping together. Such a struggle! One mom had seemed to have a solution, when her girls went down to two naps, but using the 1-2-3 method (go down for nap 1 hour after waking in the morning, then down for nap 2 hours after waking from first nap, then down for the night 3 hours after waking from second nap), but that only lasted a few months. Good luck!

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J.J.

answers from Allentown on

Well my daughter was napping two times a day at 14 months and she continued to nap once a day from 2 to 4 years. She finally stopped napping at about 4 and half years old. My son dropped to one nap around 13 months old and dropped napping totally by 2 years old. They are not twins but they sound similar to your twins in what their sleep needs were. I went a bit crazy for a while with differing schedules, but finally got used to it. I would initially put my son down for a morning nap around 9am, then my daughter would go for her only nap around 1pm, and my son for his second nap around 2pm. Then when he dropped to one nap, I had them both going around 1pm, but then he would need to be in bed by around 5:30 to 6 pm, and she would be up until 8 or 9pm. It drove me crazy. It finally worked out best when they both stopped napping, and she would go to bed around 8 and he would go to bed around 7pm. That happened when she was 4 and half and he was 2. Now she is 6 and he is 3 and a half and they are still pretty much on that schedule. I also have to add my kids have always shared a room. They are not twins but we live in a two bedroom house, so I didn't have much choice. And yes it was crazy and there were times I put one kid on my bed to nap(or I would throw the crib mattress on the floor in my room), in desperation to get them to settle down(this only happened when they were taking a nap at the same time, it was actually easier to get them to sleep when they were at different times because they were in the room alone). Anyway, I didn't have twins but I had two kids who had to share a room on very different schedules. And had they been twins they still would have been on different schedules because they napped so differently, my daughter always needed more sleep than my son. I would say drop your son to one nap a day and put him to bed a bit earlier and let your daughter take two naps a day. She may be ready to drop to one nap in a few months, at which time you can get them back on a similar schedule, but you may find that it is easier to get them to nap when they are alone and that is sometimes more enjoyable than putting them in together. The other alternative is to continue what you are doing and let your son play in his crib while your daughter naps. And then you can let them have different schedules while you maintain a similar one for you(both kids in bedroom at same time, but one taking two naps and one taking one nap). Otherwise just let your son out to play while your daughter naps in the am. And actually if he is good with just the afternoon nap that his sister also takes then you could still keep their bedtime the same, and just keep him up for that first nap. Either way I am not sure why they need to be on the same schedule. I had two kids in the same room on different schedules and I am not sure a work schedule would impact that. If you are working from home and you need that hour in the am, you could put your daughter down and have a quiet play time in a pack n play or something else similar for your son at that time. I am a single Mom and managed to work it out with no help from a hubby or a sitter or anything. I am not saying it is easy but I don't think there is much in parenting that is easy. I hope I was able to offer some helpful options. Good luck!

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, A.:
Their schedule will unfold on it's own.
Just keep observing for signs.
Good Luck.
D.

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K.L.

answers from Erie on

I can't remember when our twins went from one nap to two, but I do know that their afternoon nap lasted longer after the change. I also know that one of ours tends to be the ring-leader for staying up longer, but he is the one who prefers to sleep later (that whole "different kids need different amounts of sleep" wasn't as true for us since both of ours had similar activity levels and eating habits). I think that either riding it out or switching to one longer nap could work, as long as the total number of sleeping hours is enough for them... aren't twins the best?!?

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I suggest that what you're doing now is working and so let it be. It's OK for one to have quiet time while the other sleeps. I suggest that the one who plays instead of sleeps may end up sleeping anyway. 14 1/2 months is too young to stop napping twice/day. I suggest this is a stage that will pass and he'll sleep.

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