For Mothers That Have 4 Kids or More. TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!

Updated on June 06, 2011
M.. asks from Nashville, TN
16 answers

Hello Mama's

I want to start out saying that I'm sorry because I know that this is going to be TMI.

For those of you mama's that have had 4 or more kids by vaginal birth, were you left with your girl parts
down below all streached out and open and not the same anymore?

If this is hard for you to answer then a yes or a no will do fine.

This is not a joke question.
I have 4 kids and my youngest is almost 7 months old and I am not the same down there anymore and that upsets me and I just
want to know " Am I alone or is this normal?"

This is not the kind of question that I think that I would want to ask anyone in person.

Thank you Mama's

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answers from Washington DC on

I only have two kids, but even after giving birth to the first one I would never have been able to recognize my own "lemon" in a line up. I remember looking down there with a mirror WELL after delivery because I was just afraid to look, and I was all "damn", when I saw what happened to it... haha. It even changed color.
Good, albeit, crazy question :)

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answers from Columbus on

I have 4 and my youngest was a "surprise". I hadn't noticed a huge difference after my third (who was 7 when #4 was born). Anyway, I figured with the vaginal births, once I got older, I may have some bladder issues due to the pregnancies. Well, about a month after my fourth was born, I noticed a "weird feeling" down there. I had a look (which I had never done before) and was mortified! I basically freaked out. Soooooo not normal! Well, I got in an appt with my midwife, who was very laid back about it. She said eventually it would probably go back...up? I should do kegel's and in a few months or so, should be back to normal-(whatever normal is for me at this point. ) She was right, after a few months, I no longer had the fear of finding my uterus lying in my underwear. *I will admit that with this being my 4th child and a very, very busy schedule with the older kids, I did NOT take it easy after the birth. In fact, since 2 days after my daughter's birth was Easter, we were out of the hospital within 24 hrs. I hit the ground running. Maybe I should have rested a bit??

Now, while things are better down there, I still have issues. I went to a surgeon who said he could do a more temporary fix for me, but I would probably be back within 5-10 years. Or, a more permanent fix, but I would be laid up for at least 6 weeks. I have a toddler and a new job, so that would be a I can tell when I've been on my feet too long, when I've done too much lifitng, or basically "overdid it". It gets painful and I have to lay down. Just last night this happened. I worked an extra 10 hours this week, ran around for 4 hours working the concession stand at my son's game - and I felt it! Also, my periods can be more uncomfortable, so I went on birth control (hubby had vas). It could also be that I'm closer to menopause.....yay! LOL! Now, for even more TMI - my BM's.....can be SUPER painful! Not like hemorrhoids, but inside. Ouch. Almost brings me too tears some days. I assume it's due to all the organs lying on top of each other and certain passage ways not standard anatomy anymore.

Basically, yes, things are different. It's unfortunate, that after all the pain and misery we sometimes go through during the pregnancy and birth, we are still left with such.....scars :( It will get better. You can lead a completely normal existance while having a prolapse. (I'm assuming you have at least a mild one at this point - midwife told me most women do after giving birth - to varying degrees) Kegel's will help. Plus time. If you are really active (what mom of 4 ISN'T???? :) you may notice it more. I'm a runner, too, so I deal with it on a daily basis. If it gets worse, I will go back too the surgeon. But, for now, I tell myself it's the price paid for 4 beautiful, wonderful children. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Ha ha :)


*I apologize for the TMI, but I would have loved to know of someone else who had gone through what I was dealing with, so I just put it all out there!
** My midwife said that there have been some women who's uterus actually follows the baby OUT of the body with the birth. It has to be pushed back in. I felt very lucky after hearing that.

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answers from Allentown on

I've delivered 5, the last one about 5.5 months ago. No noticeable differences going on.

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answers from Tampa on

The vagina is a muscle... it WILL go back to original shape. Do keigel exercises and have regular sex. A permanently stretched out vagina is all psychological - not physical. Unless you had a grapefruit stuck in your vagina (peeking out like a baby's head crowning) 24/7 for a month then your vagina is just fine, normal and ready to be used for fun again.

If your husband is complaining... you need to realize penile tissue DOES get smaller as they age, so it's partly his problem. He may also psychologically think 4 vaginal births will cause stretching... but it does NOT.

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answers from Houston on

you arent alone...thats why there is such a thing as vaginal rejuvenation surgery

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answers from San Francisco on

i only have one kid, and i don't think it's TMI. it's a great question, and i think you'll get some good responses.

i am just chiming in to say that there is the other extreme, which is to get stitched up so tight that sex is painful for years. that was my experience. so although i don't know what you're experiencing, i might rather be more "open" than too tight.

good luck with your issue.

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answers from Washington DC on

That happens with your GYN - they can help you with things....

Rectocile - where your rectum (the bowel) pushes into your vagina from the other side? yea - not fun. There is a procedure that can fix that.

Kegels do help. Exercising so that you have a solid core helps too. Talk with a personal trainer and ask about getting exercises that will help you develop a stronger "core"....

DO NOT be embarrassed to talk with your OB/GYN about this. They see it often enough and if you aren't complaining about it - they don't ask....bring it up and say GIRL I CAN'T STAND THIS!!! HOW CAN WE FIX IT!!!

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answers from Orlando on

I have had four all natural, vaginal childbirths. My kids were all about 8.5 lbs. Things look different down there but I am still "tight". If I had to think of one thing that might have contributed to that, it would be that I have always done a lot of kegel exercises down there. I will say that I have issues with feeling like I have to pee a lot (no leakage, just the feeling like I have to pee) but otherwise everything is okay down there, just looks a little different (which does not bother me at all)

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answers from Houston on

I don't think this is uncommon at all. If it is like a prolapse, where the muscles are collapsing, you can definitely get that fixed. If it is just a lot looser, you can do Kegels to help tighten the muscles back up, although I hate doing them!!! Vaginal birth can take it's toll, talk to your dr bc there are options. I am definitely looser after two babies and am now prego with #3, so if it became a problem after this birth I would just go and talk to my OB. Good luck, I don't think you question was TMI, that is what this site is for ;)

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answers from Houston on

I don't think it's how many you have, more the size, and your delivery speed that makes a difference - the first one can stretch it out good and proper!
I have 2, one c section, one normal. My normal was 7lb 10 oz, not huge, but I tore because it was a fast delivery (45mins) and I have never been the same since, even my orgasms are weak. yukky.

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answers from Detroit on

Have you tried doing the kegal exercises? I have had 3 and don't have any issues I did those before I gave birth and after, not to mention I am old LOL. You can do them while you are watching TV, driving or anytime. You should ask your OB/GYN at your next check up.

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answers from Honolulu on

I only have 3 but I have heard of this happening. It runs in families (if it wasn't from your mom's side, look to your fraternal grandmother...) and is more likely to happen with each pregnancy, esp. if you are having them close together (that means getting pregnant before the youngest is 2 years old in this case) or out of shape in any way (come on, who isn't out of shape after having kids? I don't have time to REALLY exercise like crazy before we get pregnant again!). Talk to your OB, they have surgeries that can be done, mattering on have sever this is, you can do it out patent.

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answers from Sarasota on

I know I don't look the same as I did and wondered if I had developed skin tags on the bottom part of my vajj. I asked my GYN and he said, no, that it was just the way I healed after delivery, that it was like a flower opening ;) He said there is corrective surgery available if I felt strongly about it but I'm ok with it.

I also had a prolapsed bladder after giving birth which is better now, thank goodness. This article helped me a lot with exercises that made a big difference.

I had trouble with orgasms for a while and I think part of it was wondering if there was something wrong with me. Once I felt reassured that all is healthy and normal I am more relaxed and comfortable with my body. I don't have that problem anymore.

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answers from Los Angeles on

I have known 3 women with this problem, my mother and 2 friends. I can't remember the exact term at the moment, but it does happen to women who have given vaginal birth multiple times. In all 3 cases surgery (for another problem like a displaced bladder) helped as the doctor was able to tighten up muscles while operating.

Check with your OB/GYN and see what he or she can advise. God bless<3

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answers from Los Angeles on

i have had four kids but mine got torn with my second birth, in a way that will never allow it to be the same again without reconstructive surgery.
the lip tore sideways! in half. yep. it still hurts sometimes, i need to get it taken care of as soon as im on insurance again!

but it is normal to feel stretched out. definitely do keigals! they helped me A LOT.
i like to pretend i am holding in my pee, then i try to see how long i can hold it and keep doing that to strengthen the muscles down there

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answers from Houston on

Have you ever heard of labiaplasty? It's very common for this sort of thing.

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Next question: Vaginal Weights? *TMI Information If You Want to Avert Your Eyes* ;)