How old were your kids when they learned about the Holocaust?
In what context did they learn? How did they react?
And, of course, I'd be happy to hear from non-Jews too. I'm not trying to be exclusionary! But for my personal purposes, rather than "We're Christian, and this is how my kids found out about the Holocaust," it would be meaningful to me to learn things like "We're African American, and this how my kids learned about slavery"; We're Irish, and this is how my kids learned about the Famine"; "We're Armenian, and this is how my kids learned about the genocide"; etc. Does that make sense?
We're Catholic, but my son first started asking about it while reading a kid's version of the Diary of Anne Frank in 4th grade. We didn't go into depth, but enough that he was very, very sad about how Anne's family died. The discussion will go on as he gets older.
Sort-of parallel situation - we are going to Pearl Harbor this year, and we are starting to talk to my 7 year old about the Japanese bombing that took place there. It is hard to explain though, because he doesn't even understand what war is. I do think it's important to teach him about this, but I too am struggling with how.
So, I can tell you he's going to learn at age 7, but I don't know how exactly that's going to happen. I will be looking for good ideas on this thread.
My kids have been hearing about the Holocaust since they were young, 3 & 4. In fact, it is a huge part of our daily life because my mother was in a concentration camp before she came to the U.S., so they hear the story of grandma's life quite a bit. My kids understand how blessed we are to live in the U.S. and call ourselves Americans. They understand their heritage and we are teaching them to be grateful for what they have.
We're Jewish, and our children learned early in life about the Holocaust. By early, I mean early grade school, generally, in limited terms they could understand at the time.
But, it wasn't all in one big lesson. It came in bits pieces and was determined by their age and maturity levels and the opportunities that came through "teachable moments."
Maybe it was something in the news that sparked a question from one of the kids, and we'd talk about it. Later, one of the older kids might be reading something about the Holocaust in school , and we'd talk about it as a family, including the younger children, in terms they could handle.
Our youngest, now 8, learned about it when he was preschool age. Part of this is because he is the youngest, and he was there for some of these family conversations. When he was an infant and young toddler, we could talk pretty freely as the other children were preteen and teens. We'd adjust the tone of the conversation as the youngest became more aware and verbal.
Another part of this is because we'd be at shul, and the Rabbi or a Survivor might be speaking about Yom HaShoah, and then later about Yom HaZikaron and Yom HaAtzmaut. As a family, we'd also attend the community celebrations, so we'd briefly and simply explain about remembrance, Israel's independence, etc.
This part may be a little unusual, but we're a big Broadway-loving family. Once while watching The Producers (the youngest, about 3-4 at the time), started asking questions. We said that there was a very bad man who hurt a lot of Jews. (We related it in terms he could understand----like the stories of Purim, Passover, and Chanukah, which he knew about---where other "bad guys" were trying to hurt many Jews. He's been watching The Prince of Egypt since age 3, so he got the idea). We did not get into details like the numbers of people who were murdered during the Holocaust, but we answered whatever questions he had at the time. His biggest concern was whether Hitler could still hurt Jews. We told him, that no, Hitler is not alive and cannot hurt anyone ever again. That seemed to answer his questions at that time.
Over the years, his questions have become more detailed. He now knows that many Jews and other non-Jews died during the Holocaust. These topics are discussed in religious school as well as in our family.
Last summer when he was 7, we visited Pearl Harbor, another layer was added, as we stood over the remains of the Arizona and on the deck of the Missouri where the US and allied forces accepted the surrender of the Empire of Japan. It all came together, from those bits and pieces and questions from years before. I'm sure more layers will be added, just like with the older kids, as he reads accounts of Survivors and other literature about the Holocaust.
We've often used these family discussions to teach about anti-Semitism and also to broaden the discussion to include the topic of slavery, oppression, prejudice and discrimination and how we must fight against those things in order for all people to be free.
At each stage of learning, I think the kids were able to accept the information because we presented it at their level. They did not seem to be overwhelmed because we answered the questions but didn't get into unnecessary detail. As they were older, they were able to incorporate more information and processed that information without undue distress.
The youngest has not yet seen images of the camps, however. Even I have difficulty with that. I have never been able to read the last few pages of the Diary of Ann Frank. I stop when I know what's about to happen. Even after all these years.
I'm sure in the next few years, we'll be watching more films and reading more books about the Holocaust with the youngest. As open as I am about history and to questions, I do find it difficult to see those images and talk about the horrible details, but it is an important thing to do.
Hope that helps.
J. F.
ETA: We've used the same approach to talk with the kids and teach them about civil rights, JFK, RFK, MLK, and 9/11, although the older kids are old enough to remember 9/11. My youngest has seen me crying when I see images of 9/11, and he's also been to the site of the WTC and saw part of the remains of the buildings at the Newseum in DC. So, like with the Holocaust, I take these opportunities to impart the bits of information that will serve as the foundation for further learning about these historical events.
I am actually starting to watch documentaries with my daughter now she is 11 and she enjoys the mom and daughter TV time. I pick them up from the library and during it she will ask questions. She is mixed race. We watched Martin Luther King. King Tut. Adolf Hitler. Caves. It makes her curious about history and all kinds of things. I order a couple each week. I was surprised she didn't find them boring. The Adolf Hitler video was really sad and she had a lot of questions. After it was over we watched something more upbeat to cheer her up. Check out your local library. The video. It helps explain better. We even got to argue about evolution (what they teach in school) and the Bible. I had forgotten they teach evolution to young impressionable kids. So it was a long discussion.
My kids are 6 and 10.
They know about these things. But not as graphically for my youngest.
But they know about it because, we teach them about history, as parents to our children. And in school, they, depending on the grade/age, they are taught about history.
We are not Jewish.
Also, here in Hawaii, there had been MANY horrible, cultural and ethnic, things that have happened in our formation as a State.
Even during the wars, the Japanese Americans... were sent to concentration camps. And everything/their land/their belongings/their jobs... were taken away. They lost everything. Even though they were American and fought in the war for the United States during WWII. They were sent to concentration camps & everything taken away from them just because of their ethnicity.
The Hawaiians, also had many things taken away from them.
We teach our children this, too.
This is such an interesting question! The problem is when something is a part of your heritage it also becomes a part of your culture. So, for us I don't remember ever sitting down and explaining anything at a particular age. There were just many small opportunities to explain slowly with tidbits of information all along. Then Sunday school class contributed in the same way. I think by the time my kids were in 5th grade they knew a good deal about the Holocaust but not detailed horror stories. I think those types of things began to be shared carefully and in gentle ways between 5th and 7th grade. As the kids got older they had opportunities to hear concentration camp survivors speak and tell their stories. Some of their friends had grandparents that were survivors, etc... I see you live in New Jersey. There is probably a Holocaust Museum and if you call them I bet they will give you some guidance.
I think around third grade-there was a book called "Number the Stars"-maybe sooner; there were older family members with numbers tattooed on their arms from having survived being in a concentration camp.
My husband is Cambodian and survived the Khmer Rouge. Our daughter was around 5 when she started asking questions about why Daddy moved to America and why she didn't have a grandpa who lived with grandma. (My husband's father disappeared during that time and it is assumed that he was killed during a massacre.) We have explained in age appropriate ways that there were some bad men who wanted to change things and that they did really bad things.
As she has gotten older my husband has told her some of the things that happened to him (having very little to eat, having to work hard in a work camp, family members who died). It has always been just enough to answer her questions in terms that are age appropriate for her. As our kids get older we will tell them more and some day when they are much older we want to take them to Cambodia. But for now we limit it to answering their questions with just enough information. It is really hard to know how much and what to tell them. I always dread the questions, but it is a part of our family's history.
My oldest is only 4, so we haven't gotten there yet, but that is one reason I've held off showing her the first season of Wonder Woman. I don't want her first view of Nazis to be the bumbling idiots they were in that show.
Unfortunately, there is no shortage of killing and genocide in the world, so I'm sure the topic will come up organically in the next couple years. I first talked to her about 911 when she was 2 and kept seeing the documentaries advertised. She asked what happened and I explained it in terms a 2 year old could understand. Each year, we talk about it in a little more detail.
In the next few years, we'll talk about how a really bad man convinced people that only one kind of people was best and killed people who were different. That millions of Jews, Gypsies and homosexuals had to go far away from their homes and families to escape. Those who didn't get away were gathered up-some were killed right away and some were taken to camps where they weren't given enough to eat, enough to drink, they were worked very hard, beaten if they complained or couldn't work, were kept away from their families and many were killed, just because they were different. That it was the most horrible time in our world and we have to make sure it never happens again by giving everyone the same rights. When she's ready, I'll show her the pictures I took at Auschwitz when I was 16. One day, I'll take her to the Holocaust Museum in D.C.
Not there yet with our son, but we've got a lot of these truths to unveil in time. I hope that we can strike the right chord.
We will aim to teach him that man can be very inhumane to his fellow man; that it is our obligation to bear testament to past injustice, and to speak out against inhumanity everywhere.
We will try to instill a sense of pride in his heritage without unduly burdening him with a legacy of trans-generational victimization/ survivor guilt.
best to you and yours,
F. B.
School social studies class covers a lot.
When our son was learning about it (middle school), we'd talk about it.
The thing is - the kids learn about it from a historical point of view and it's easy for some to just stop and think 'well things are not like that now' - but people being crappy to one another never really goes away.
Slavery, persecution, starvation, terrorism, genocide, war - they still exist today.
Peace on earth will happen when human beings become extinct.
It can't happen before then.
Makes perfect sense. I do not have anything within that realm to contribute, however. I hope you get some insightful responses.
My DD knows a little bit from bits and pieces she's picked up when discussing history. Our neighbor was a survivor and we've told stories about his flight from Germany. DD is only 5 and not Jewish, and it is hard for her to wrap her head around why someone might hate her friends (who are Jewish) and want to hurt them or send them away. So mostly she is confused. But she is young.
I think any heavy subject is something you take slowly. I'm a grown woman, but I can't bring myself to go in the Holocaust Memorial Museum. I know what is there and I've struggled through less intense memorials.
When DD is older, I would like her to read books like The Hiding Place so we can talk about it. I also bought Shindler's List not because I can watch it over and over but because it touched me deeply when I was in HS and I think it is an important movie to be shown when the child is old enough. We also did a study on it in my MYF group at church and read Night by Elie Weisel. Those were some sober conversations.
It's the little things...I saw a display in the Newseum about the attacks in 2001 and the picture of the mother and child on their way to Disney...broke my heart.
These are tough things. May our children learn from them and not have to relive them.
I'm a New Yorker and taught my kids at about 6 about the 9/11 attacks that killed a good friend and my dear uncle.
I also taught my son at age 9 about the Japanese invasion that killed my
Grand uncles in the Philippines during World War II. My grand aunts never remarried and outright hated the Japanese (very old school thinking) and my relatives and I would sit around and talk about within my son's earshot. So I explained that they were soldiers, they were captured and they were killed.
I'm not for fluffing up history. I want my son to be aware. At least with all the gratuitous violence we cannot avoid anymore, my son will grow with perspective. And I control that.
ASAP. My family's quite diverse. My grandfather is Jewish, DH is Asain, my cousin is Indian, and we're catholic. My father was in WWII, so of course the Holocaust is going to be mentioned as well as Pearl Harbor. My uncles were in stationed in Germany during WWII, whild my father was stationed in Japan. I'd say my DS was around 4 or 5 when I started telling the stories, I just didn't go into heavy details until the school had his class read "Number the Stars," which was around 3rd grade. I wanted him to be aware of it before he read about it, so he knew how serious it was. It's a very difficult and emotional subject, but it needs to be taught. I think why a lot of teachers don't like to teach it, is because it's so recent. There's lots of websites online to help out. Here are 2:
My dd learned about slavery and the holocaust when she was 4. I took her to the Children's Museum where they have a section on children that made a difference. There was an exhibit about Ruby Bridges who was the first black student to intergrate a white school in New Orleans. The next exhibit is about Anne Frank. There is a video on Anne Frank and it discusses that she was killed. The last exhibit is for Ryan White.
I had to explain all of the exhibits because she asks so many questions. Our discussion about Ruby Bridges led to slavery. Our Anne Frank discussion, which affected her the most since she died, led to more details about the holocaust. Ryan White was easier as i told he had a diease and he died from it.
If you are a practicing Jew you could tell them what your celebrations mean and then explain that many Jews died for their religious beliefs and bring up the holocaust. I don't think they are too old to hear it. Since you are Jewish I would rather explain to your kids about the Holocaust rather than letting a history book do the job. If you are from different nationalities you already know history books don't tell everything. Good luck!!
I talked with my son at the age of 9 about the 911 attacks.
As a black mama, slavery discussions usually happened after a child is faced with some sort of discrimination or racial prejudice. When my son was about 8, I was getting my eyebrows waxed and he went next door to the dollar store to look around for the 10 minutes that it took me to be completed. He came back and said, mama the lady followed me all around the store and was looking at him meanly. I told him that whenever he shops to never put his hands in his pockets and if he is returning an item to go to the counter first in order to not make anyone think that he got the item afterwards... Then the conversation went on from that point. I would never rely on textbooks to teach personal history to my child or grandchildren.
