Follow up Question to "Shocking Statistics"

I didn't see the original post, but I can imagine it's because I said something about it in a post from myself earlier...

There are literally no more or less psychos out there than there were in the past 20 or 30 years... there are just more overprotective, lacking common sense parents now.

I have not known ONE PERSON, not even a friend of a friend of a friend who knows this guys neighbors cousins friends sister who knows someone who was abducted.

when I was about 12 year old my sister was almost taken- we lived in a small town off the "beaten path" my younger sister wanted to walk to my grandmas house - it was three blocks away and I could see her walk the whole way- she got about 11/2 blocks away and this big brown car pulled up beside her and slowed down- this guy jumped out of the car and grabbed her- I started screaming " run fight and RUN" as I ran toward her he heard me let go and she started running. The car drove away- on the news they said they had caught two guys that had stolen a ladies car killed her and put her in the trunk they were both ex-cons and dangerous- yep those were guys in the car. I think that is where my paranoia with my kids comes from???

Thank goodness no.
But I was molested by my stepfather between the ages of 10 and 13 , and I have three friends who were also molested at around that age, all by their mother's boyfriends. One actually got pregnant and was forced to have the baby and give it away. She was only 15 and her mother refused to believe her boyfriend was the one that did it.
This is just part of the reason I am so adamant in my beliefs around protecting children. The "bad guys" are usually in our own homes, hurting our kids right under our noses, we can't lose sight of that!

When I was 7 and walking home from school, a guy tried to get me in his car. I had MANY stranger danger talks up until that point. I went screaming the other way and pounded on someone's door. They never did find the guy. That experience affected me for YEARS. My parents were never the same. They are still (I am 29) worried about me all the time!

I didn't KNOW the girl, but a girl was abducted and found murdered in my community. Literally, like 2 blocks away. I had seen the girl playing outside plenty of times, and my parents made small talk when the family went on walks. That was terrifying. I was older at that time, but my experience at 7 made me scared to go outside after she was taken. I would literally not step outside without a parent for months. They don't know who did it, it's still unsolved all these years later. They even ran DNA through the database recently, and nothing.

Then, when I was in middle school a high school aged girl about 5 minutes from us went missing. They found her body in a creek. That one was solved years later, after DNA testing was available. It was a sex offender. He got sentenced to death.

What's crazy, is my parents live in a VERY nice area. Middle-class, upper-middle, to very wealthy. Great schools, great families, low crime. Even still, these things happened.

Yes...read my response to the original question.

Previous co-worker, her son was stranger abducted when he was around 6. (He's now in college)...

When they found her son he was dying...had been stabbed, beaten, molested...they weren't sure he'd make it. Now he is in college.

I did a report in 1982 as part of a college class on the missing children thing. One thing I found out was the cases like the Atlanta child killings and Gacy were lumped into all the other statics. They never went into the fact that many of these children who were part of the statics were victims of a serial killer. Another some what shocking static was that it is more common to have a child disappear from a small rural community than a big city, because city kids are more aware. Children in small towns think Mommy and Daddy know 'everybody'; they are more likely to accept a ride from a stranger because they think Mommy knows them. To protect my kids I set up a pass word with them; if someone they did not expect to pick them up came to school to get them they had to tell my kids the password before they got into the car. "Mommy said POPCORN" was the password. My kids knew not to get into someone's car unless they had the password.
Kids also need to understand who is a stranger and who isn't. The man who sits on the bench in the park feeding the birds is a stranger even though you say hi to him daily. He is not your friend and you don't know him. However neighbor "Dan" isn't a stranger even though we don't always see him daily, if he knows the password it's okay.

I remember when I lived near LA and many people were being carjacked at the gas pumps. Everytime I filled up I was sooooo scared someone was going to point a gun in my face and take off with my car and my kids. Yet, I never witnessed a carjacking. Fear on it's own can be crippling. Kids need to have some freedom.

My cousin knew the Wetterling family (Jacob Wetterling is one of the most famous abductions in Minnesota)

My sister was ALMOST abducted, but thank God 1 of her 2 kidnappers slipped on ice and she was able to run away before they got her into their van.

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No, I do not know anyone personally who has been, or has had a child, abducted. The vast majority of abductions are committed by family members or non-custodial parents. The vast majority of children are returned.

Luckily, no.

Added: My response was about "abduction" only.

I know too many cases of various mistreatment of children...all committed by family/friends.

Hi L., I like your question. I think it's good for all of us to hear stories from real live moms, not just statistics.

I think statistics are very interesting in that they apply to every single one of us AS A GROUP, together. However they apply to nobody whatsoever as individuals.

A girl in my 4th grade class was 'taken' while playing in her front yard, by a teenaged neighbor (this boy was actually in my older sisters class). He lead her up to some nearby woods, raped her, tortured her, and eventually killed her. He was taken in the same day, as the girl was reported missing immediately, the police came to question neighbors, and neighbors had seen them walking down the street together. He was convicted.

Statistically, considering this was 35 or so years ago, it's likely he's been a free man for quite sometime.

:(

No, I do not know anyone personally. However, when I was 10, I remember walking home from a friends house one day when I noticed a car was slowly following me. I panicked and ran all the way home. I never told my parents because I was afraid they would never allow me to walk home alone again.

My mother was abducted by her mother from her father 83 years ago. My mother was raised by another man thinking that he was her biological father until she was in her 60s at which time she somehow found out the truth. She was never reunited with her biological father or her father's family. We only know his last name and that he was from NY. My mother now has alzheimer's disease. My sister and I often wonder if there is a family history of the disease on my biological grandfathers side of the family. It would be interesting to know them. But we never will

A VERY distant cousin of mine (like 3rd or 4th by marriage) was kidnapped, repeatedly raped with a knife to her throat, and left for dead when she was around 12. She was found and lived.

When I was young many years ago there were teen girls abducted when hitchhiking near a nice quiet small town. Only one survived.

I personally do not know anyone who's been abducted.

I am friends with a mother who is also a Police Lieutenant is the domestic violence department of a local city. A not-so-nice city. She sees a lot.

We have been friends since our boys hit it off in 1st grade. They are now in 5th. She was/is more concerned about sleepovers. Up until this past summer she would not let any of her boys sleep over at friends houses. Apparently more molestations happen at sleepovers than publicly known, by adults in the house, older siblings, etc. After 5 years we gained access to their "circle of trust" and she let her son have a sleepover at our house. We had a good laugh over that (the circle of trust part) but I have become much more wary of who's house my kids spend time at and which ones they sleepover at.

I do not know anyone who has ever had a child abducted. I do know someone who was hit by lightning (my mom, she was fine), someone who was hit by a motorist while bicycling and almost died and someone who was paralyzed after diving into a swimming pool (he didn't drown because he was pulled right out).