First Weekend Trip Away from Baby- and Not Quite Weaned...

Updated on November 03, 2008
C.R. asks from Derry, NH
12 answers

I am taking my first weekend trip away from the baby in 3 weeks (she will be 16 months old). Here's the thing, my daughter is still nursing- before her nap and upon going to bed at night, and upon waking first thing in the morning. The one in the morning is really the only one where she still drinks a lot. At this point, I am wondering if it is worth it to buy another breast pump (my old one is broken), just for those 2 days I am gone. I guess I am open to weaning soon- but I wanted for her to decide when she is ready to let it go. So, to pump or not to pump? Or, is it worth it to try to wean before the trip, or just leave and pick up where we left off when I get back? Anyone else had a similar issue? As an aside, I am excited for my trip, but feeling quite guilty about leaving my daughter with my husband for 2 days- she is going through a bout with separation anxiety right now.

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So What Happened?

I'm enjoying reading the responses so far- and appreciate each mom who has taken the time to offer insights from their own experience, that is why this site is so great! So, thanks! I like the idea of the hand held pump- I had a Medela one, and it never worked again (lost its seal) after I put it in the dishwasher once- I probably should have hand washed it. I know there were a couple suggestions on brands- and if you are still writing in- please tell me which you liked best. BTW- I'm meeting up with 3 of my college girlfriends for the trip, it is an annual tradition we have been doing for 12 years now (they all stayed with me last year when my daughter was only a few months old.) It will be strange (and great) to be going on a trip that doesn't involve packing a baby, husband, large dog and a ton of bags! :)

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M.F.

answers from Boston on

I'd try to rent a pump. I agree with letting her wean on her own. Good for you for breastfeeding for so long, you are doing her a great service!

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S.I.

answers from Boston on

I can't believe someone guilted you for leaving on a trip!!! Please! GO!!! You deserve it.
The guilt you feel about considering ending breastfeeding is internal, NOT ultimately based on your child's health and well-being. I've seen too many mothers make themselves sick with guilt over this issue. People have gone too crazy with the MUST BREASTFEED OR MY BABY WILL SUFFER FOREVER side of the issue. Please! There is an entire generation ahead of us that almost never breastfed and they are doing just fine. I think it is more about what we as women face giving up: the closeness, the comfort, the treasure of a little person, and physical contact that we may get from partners, but may not. Take a close look at that side of the issue to determine what you are really reluctant to give up.
And the separation anxiety will be there whether you are present or not and it may actually help strengthen the relationship of your daughter and husband. You have done an outstanding job breastfeeding as long as you have.
Sorry to sound harsh, but it really riles me when women swing the breastfeeding pendulum so far to the left.

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S.O.

answers from Providence on

I wouldn't try to wean before, it will make her clingy-ier and make the trip away harder. I recommend borrowing a pump if you can. or getting a hand pump. I've been out of the market a while, but ameda and avent were the best hand pumps available.
Seriously though, I would consider borrowing a pump from a friend. That way you can pre-pump some and leave milk for her too.
Have a great trip. It's a wonderful and weird thing to go away, but it renews me for my time back with kidos. Hope it does for you too.

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

Hi C.. I hope you enjoy your trip. I had an inexpensive evenflow pump that worked well. It was battery operated and came with a plug too. It was cheap and worked well for the few times I used. I stayed home with my little guy so only needed to pump once in awhile. If she isn't ready to wean just yet pump while you are gone its only 2 days you should be fine if she's ready to wean than let her. You are an amazing person for nursing as long as you have whatever you decide don't let other mom's on here make you feel guilty about your decision. Have fun.
Rachel

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

iwould rent a pump instead of buying one,unless you are planning to have more children,they rent them from isis materenityor hospital

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B.L.

answers from Boston on

I definitely wouldn't wean her before you go. From the time he was about 18 months, my son and I were apart regularly overnight and for weekends (his dad and I are divorced) and he continued nursing until he was 3. He always wanted to nurse immediately upon coming back, and your daughter might want to as soon as you get home, regardless of time. It's a very good way for them to reconnect with you. My daughter has also spent several weekends with grandparents or friends while her dad and I were away without much of a problem, always happy to nurse again when we were reunited. She weaned at 3 years 3 1/2 months, when my milk dried up due to my current pregnancy. You might feel a bit full -- depending on how important it is to you to maintain your milk supply you might want to rent or buy a hand-pump, or you can just hand express for comfort whenever you need to. That's what I did for the last year or so of nursing with each child, though before then I definitely needed to pump... from the amount you say your little one is nursing now, you probably won't get too engorged so hand expressing will probably do.

Have a great trip!

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E.H.

answers from Boston on

if you aren't ready to wean your baby, i'd say pump. you can rent a pump from a lactation consultant if your pump is broken. i rented one from lactation care in newton:
www.lactationcare.com
good luck.

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K.T.

answers from Boston on

If you do decide to pump, call your insurance company b/c they may cover the cost of a new pump or cover the fee for renting one (you don't necessarily have to shell out the big bucks to pay for a new pump). Also, since you're not pumping all of the time, consider just buying a manual pump (which is a lot cheaper).

Best of luck with your decision. Congratulations on taking a trip, please don't feel guilty.

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C.F.

answers from Hartford on

If you want to leave your options open, you can buy a hand pump (Avent makes a good one that is small/easy to both use and pack.) You can always see if your daughter is ready to wean while you are gone, but pump to maintain your milk supply, just in case. I found that pumping while traveling helped ease my guilt and made me feel connected to my daughter while I was away. Good luck and try not to worry too much.

Just read your update: I loved my AVENT Isis hand pump (especially its soft "petals" cushion) and was even able to get more milk with it than my electric. In fact I bought two Isis pumps (I think at CVS for about $30/40) just for the removable cushions to use with the electric. Also, it can go through the dishwasher (just remove the small valve before you wash it. However Babies R Us/Target does sell replacement valves if yours go down the sink like mine did.) Or -- and this could be helpful for traveling -- Medela sells "Quick Clean Breastpump & Accessory Wipes: Hygienic wipes proven safe and effective for cleaning breast pumps" which can be really convenient. Also at BrUs/Target for $8.

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H.Z.

answers from Boston on

C.,

Personally I would wean her before you go. She really does not need to be breastfed anymore and if you leave and don't pump you will get engorged! I speak from experience. When I left my 10 month unweaned baby for 4 days (I had a friend with breastcancer that I was visiting. Three days before I was to leave she came down with shingles so I could not bring the baby.) I ended up manually pumping since after 10 hours I was painfully engorged. I pumped and dumped and the baby survived. Upon my return he went back to the breast no problems...refusing to ever take a bottle again. At 13 months I weaned completely, he now takes a sippy cup of regular milk.

So...if you don't wean now...you will have to pump! Good luck with whatever choice you make.

H. Z. (SAHM 5, almost 4 and 16 month old boys)

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C.P.

answers from Portland on

Hi. You might want to store up a few days worth of milk. It might be a bit of peace of mind to know that she can still comfort with the breast milk, though it isn't in your arms.

I went through the same situation with my little one. The first time I went away, my milk did not dry up, my baby didn't breast feed any less, and her father did fine (just don't ask what they did while you were away :)).

You can get a cheap hand held pump for $20 or less, rather than investing in a whole new electric pump for hundreds of dollars. A hand pump takes a little more time and effort, but it might be a worthwhile fix. I used the First Years hand pump and it worked fine.

As you said, she will decide when to stop breastfeeding.

Take care
:) C.

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K.D.

answers from Boston on

First of all, it will be GREAT for your daughter's separation anxiety to be with just your husband for a while, and it will be great for their relationship. If you are okay with weaning, it is certainly the easiest way to wean. You may be very full during your trip, but I doubt that your milk will go away in one weekend, so you can even resume afterward if you want to. I don't think that buying a new breast pump would be practical at the age of 16 months, unless you know you will have more children and need one anyway. You could also get a manual pump for that period, and it would be adequate for your trip. But do know that your child will be fine if you decide it's time to wean, and also fine being away from you! Have a WONDERFUL trip! You deserve it!
K. D, 35-year-old mother of 2 girls, 5 and 2-1/2, both of whom breastfed

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