First Time Mom Seeking Mom's Advice About Labor/Childbirth

The only thing I can say that others haven't really concentrated on in their posts is to read and research FOR YOURSELF as much as you can about the side effects of an epidural. WebMD has a section on it (http://www.webmd.com/hw/being_pregnant/tn9762-medinfo.asp.... I personally wouldn't want to run the risk of having a spinal headache (the epidural catheter can make spinal fluid leak, draining the fluid around the brain, basically making it too uncomfortable to sit upright for days), or it only numbing half of the body, which is also possible. Also, it ups your chances for preeclampsia (elevated blood pressure, which will automatically make you have a c-section in most hospitals). But then again, you very well may not have any side effects at all. Ask yourself if intense but COMPELTELY temporary pain is worth the risk of drugs to YOU. Only YOU as the laboring woman can answer that.

Yes, childbirth is painful, think of all the stuff that's going on- muscles and ligaments are moving your baby out, bones are separating... it's one big rubber band ball down there... but, the beauty of this pain is- IT SUBSIDES! It may seem like the worst thing in the world (all depends on your pain threshold- I tolerate pain quite well, so childbirth for me- with no drugs at all, except a local for the stictches for a small tear in my perineum) but it will end when you hold your little miracle. I PROMISE you that.

I'm due this Saturday with our second, and I'm going completely au naturale (with a midwife and Birth Center instead of a hosptial and OB this time) because I have the confidence that I did it once with nothing, so I can do it again... True, you don't get a medal for doing this without drugs (which I think is bogus), but I'll have the personal satisfaction that I trusted my body to do what it was designed to do.

Please email me if you have any questions!

Hi D.,
I never thought I could be as terrified as I was when i walked into the room and the nurse handed me a gown and told me to get into bed. It was then I realized, Oh my gosh, this is happening!!!! i won't go through my whole story, but the most important thing I learned is to get the epideral early. People were always telling me that it would "run out" if I got it too early. Not true, it is a constant drip they can turn on and off. I opted for another pain reliever first, can't remember what it was called. It did help, but only for a couple of hours. I went from being fairly comfortable to miserable in extreme active labor in about 10 minutes. Getting the epideral when you get into painful contractions ever 2.5 minutes is hard. They kept telling me to relax! How was I suppose to do that??!! Anyway, after the epideral, life was wonderful. I slept the whole afternoon while my husband watched to contraction monitor as saw my contractions getting bigger and bigger! The whole time, I wasn't feeling a thing. Get is soon and you will have a wonderful experience. There is contradictory studies on epiderals and lenght of labor and c-sections. My experience along with all my friends showed the opposite of an earlier comment. My dialation was going very slowly until I got the epidural. Then, I was so relaxed, I went to 10cm (pushing time) within a couple of hours. I really don't think not being able to walk around affected me or my babies movement at all, but every experience is different. Just one more thing to realize is that you will also get a cathader after the epideral takes affect. This to me was also a good thing because before that, I was wanting to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes.
Really, get the epideral and at least pain will be one less fear you need to deal with and you won't have to worry about lamaze. After that, you just hope that a c-section won't be needed. Good luck!

Hi D.,

As a mother of two and a doula I am responding. Pain is very subjective. What one person considers pain another may consider strong pressure. When labor starts on its own, it is a slow build up of pressure. Eventually that pressure gets much stronger. Comfort measures such as sitting on a birth ball, moving around, getting in water (either a tub or a shower) or swaying side to side can have a profound effect of the way labor feels. Many women who plan to have an epidural end up being able to wait much longer than they thought they would, using these techniques. The recommendations are to try to get to 4-5 cm before receiving an epidural. Using these comfort measures make that pretty doable task. You can receive an epidural at any point including 10 cm.

Try to keep an open mind so that you can keep the fear away. Just let your body do what it was designed to do and trust. If you do then you'll flow with it and know at what point in time to ask for your epidural.

If you would like further information or some instruction, let me know.

I'm sure you'll have a wonderful birth experience.

S. Mills (DONA)
Touched By An Angel
Childbirth Services, Inc
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Hi D. -

I completely understand why you feel you need to get as much feedback from other moms on labor and delivery...when I was first pregnant, I craved the same information. As you gather information, please remember that just as ALL pregnancies are different, ALL labors are different too.

There are some constants like the rolling pain of the contractions and the extreme, burning pain of the "ring of fire" - a.k.a. when the baby's head starts to crown, but other than that, the actual laboring can be either very long or very short. For first time moms, the labor is usually 14 + hours (mine was 12, but I only pushed for 15 minutes and paid dearly for it by getting torn by my son). For my second delivery, I labored for the same amount of time and pushed for 30 minutes - a feat considering that it was a vaginal delivery, I was completely numb in my legs from the Epidural, and she was over 10 lbs. I was also torn during delivery. My third delivery, which just happened on October 5th, was very quick. I labored for 3.5 hours, got a shot of Epidural, but didn't really need it because within minutes, my baby's head was crowning. I literally only pushed for three minutes, tore myself again - this time twice, but once I saw my 9.9 pounder, I was in Heaven and all the pain went away.

That's an important note too...whatever pain you felt during labor and delivery will almost instantly vanish when you see your new baby...it's God's way of making the memory less vibrant so that you'll do it again. :) In fact, with all three children, I was so enraptured by the sight of them that when the doctor was stitching up my tears, I didn't even notice. Of course, healing time varies too. I healed very quickly with my first and third child, but with my second, it took me three whole days to get out of bed. Of course, if you have a C-section, your healing will be a lot longer than with a vaginal delivery.

Oh yes, and not to get too graphic, but this is something I wish I was told before I actually gave birth...the actual pushing and the sensation you feel from it feels exactly like you're making a bowel movement, albeit a very LARGE one. If you can move your bowels, you can definitely give birth.

Regarding Epidural, take it as soon as you can because once you're past 7 cm, you can't take it (hospital rules). Also, you should know that Epidural only takes the edge off the contractions, not the pain of the actual birth (crowning of the head, pushing, etc.), NOTHING, other than being put under, will take away that pain. Sadly, this is why many women today opt to schedule C-sections instead of going through a vaginal birth...they want to avoid the pain. The trade off for the pain, however, is a quicker recovery period. Personally, I would never opt for a C-section if I didn't need it...that's MAJOR surgery, not a minor procedure. Back to the Epidural, it is a useful drug because it gives you a chance to rest in between contractions...you'll need the rest to push effectively. If you're being induced, take care and expect that your contractions will be a lot harder and quicker. I was induced all three times with the drug they call Pitocin, which I call "liquid fire," and had I not been on it, I know I wouldn't have needed to take an Epidural. My contractions before the Pitocin drip were very manageable. Pray that you don't need to be induced.

On that note, take care and blessings to you for a smooth and safe delivery.

Hi D.,
I am a mommy to four and a doula. :) Why do you have in your mind that women suffer a lot of pain during childbirth? Have you seen a birth first hand, aside from a Baby Story? What options have you considered in helping you deal with the pain? Have you researched what each one will limit you to do or what their benefits are?

What do YOU want?

Do you want to be active in your decisions during your birth? Do you want to be able to move around which usually helps the baby to descend quicker? Do you want to let your doctor to decide everything and manage your care?

Have you researched the epidural and it's risks? Did you know that it can not work completely, or at all in some women and that it limits your ability to use the restroom, walk around, (this is very important if you are having back labor)?

None of these questions have a right or wrong answer per se. Only right or wrong for you. :)

I'm not going to tell you what I chose, only tell you that I had four wonderful births that my body handled well. It was labor, which is work, I had a great support team and I knew what I wanted and asked lots of questions and had great success in being satisfied with my births.

I've heard from many women about their dissatisfaction after birth, because they weren't empowered and in charge.

If you'd like to talk about anything feel free to contact me.
Take care and God Bless you and your new little one to come!
N. White, CD(DONA)
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D.,

Just relax...let childbirth happen. It hurts...it's suppose to. Listen to your nurses and Doctor...tell them you want the epidural, they will tell you when it is time to get it. Just take each contraction as it comes, each one gets you one step closer to holding your baby. When it comes time to push don't be scared just do it...before you know it it will ALL be over and you won't think of it as being that bad I promise as long as you stay calm.

You're going into something new and it's very scary to you. The problem with hearing stories is fear amplifies pain. You may want to try learning to focus on your body, relax and let it do it's job.

I made the mistake of letting the doctor scare me into induction with my first. Average first time moms deliver at 41� weeks but my doctor said past 40 was "late". Induction didn't work and I had a c-section. With my second, I was so scared that anxiety was holding me back during labor. I got an epidural to help me relax after I had been at 8 cm for a couple hours. They turned it off at 10 cm so I could feel to push. With my third, I used a hot tub to relieve pain, had the baby at home with a midwife, focused positive thoughts and no medications. It was by far the best labor and delivery of all 3.

When you get an epidural, not only are you confined to the bed, but you can't get up to work through the contractions. You can't move around to help the baby's head get lined up just right. It can prolong labor and doubles your chance of having a c-section.

Good luck to you. Women of every species have been doing this forever.

Hi D.,
My name is K., I am almost 27 yrs old and have 2 beautiful babies. My daughter is almost 5, and my son is 2 1/2. Like the others keep telling you...it will be painful, but God only gives you what you can handle!
I had Crippling Scoliosis and I have a steel rod on 3/4 of my spine. I tried to get the epidural but it hurt so bad, they couldn't do it...when I finally had my daughter, I realized having them try to do the epidural hurt so much worse. I had both my babies completely natural...and I would do it again! The first wasn't as bad as the second. My daughter was born on time, 7 lbs 15.4 oz. My son got stuck for an hour (ouch!!!) he was 2 weeks early and already 8 lbs 2.7 oz and 21.25 inches long. All I'm saying is everyone is different...so research as much as you can...you decide what's best for you. I would have had the epidural if I could get it...I had no choice but I am glad I didn't, with an epidural you are in bed for a while...natural you can get up as soon as you feel up to it! Plus your back hurts a lot. I have a couple of friends who had them...looking at it you can't do much if you can't feel it. I had to do all the work, of course my husband and the nurses and my doctor helped as much as they could. Good luck with your birth, I hope you figure out what you would like to do. I hope it turns out wonderful for you!
Congratulations on being a new mommy! ~K.

Hi D.. You are exactly where every woman who has given birth has been. It's normal. I highly recommend a doula and/or a midwife. The beautiful thing about a doula/midwife is that she stays with you through it all -- no leaving you alone to go care for another patient. She also helps Dad help you and a good doula wants Dad to feel that he's as important to the experience as Mom is -- not that he's a by-stander. I could go on forever (I'm a doula myself, though currently non-practicing), but I'm partial :).
Nothing you hear from anyone else is going to be remotely like your experience. I've witnessed lots of births (and, well, I've had a few of my own) and it's normal to be scared. Just remember that millions of women have been having babies since the dawn of time and they've all been scared, too. The moment you see your little one -- it all goes away. In a couple years, you'll even be thinking about doing it again (heehee)!
Congratulations...motherhood is the biggest blessing life offers us as women and you are about to join the club!

Hi D.,

I've had 3 kids and each birth experience was better than the last. I started with the standard LaMaze/Epidural/Pitocin hospital birth and my last child was a totally natural homebirth/hypnobirth. LOL, my last one was so much fun, I'd have another just to go thru labor again!

My best advice to you is to read up on the Bradley Method - even if you don't have time for the conditioning excercises, this method does alot to help explain what you'll go through mentally during the birth process, so you won't feel as scared..

And definitely get a doula, especially with a first time hospital birth. Sometimes the doctors and medical staff tend to put their own needs first instead of looking after the person who needs it most - you! A good doula will help make you feel better, explain what's going on and help you deal with it, and make sure the hospital staff cares for you properly.

Your body was made to have babies, so just listen to what it's telling you and you'll do fine.

I've had four children and every labor/delivery was different. Asking for advice can be a double edged sword. Some people will scare the pants off you and others act as if it like getting a pedicure. I've had everything from a super easy delivery to one that the epidural didn't take. Through them all I stayed calm. That is the ticket. I had our first child at 20 and the lady in the next room was screaming and making animal groans and scared the pee out of me. Just remember that if you stay calm even when it doesn't feel great - it's much easier. When your body gets upset it tenses up and that makes everything harder. It's a wonderful thing and just keep thinking about the end result - your beautiful baby. If it were something I couldn't handle (even without any pain reliever) I wouldn't have continued to have more. Children are a blessing. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless.

D. I AM NOT A GREATGRANDMOM BUT I WELL REMEMBER BEING WHERE YOU ARE NOW. WE HAD THIS OLD OLD BLACK LADY WORKING FOR MY FOLKS AND WE ALL LOVED HER AS A FAMILY MEMBER AND SHE SAID WHEN YOU START TO HAVE A PAIN LOCK YOUR EYES ONTO SOMETHING AND THINK ABOUT IT. IF IT IS A CHAIR WHERE DID IT COME FROM WHO MADE IT SO ON. ALSO THINK IN YOUR HEAD ONE STEP CLOSER ONE STEP CLOSER AND COUNT. IF YOU CAN CONCENTRATE ON SOMETHING HARD YOU THINK LESS ABOUT THE PAIN AND FOR SURE YES EVEN IN 1951 WHEN I HAD MY FIRST THE SHOT HELPED ME. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND ONCE YOU HOLD THAT LITTLE BLESSING IN YOUR ARMS FOR THE FIRST TIME YOU WILL SAY PAIN? WHAT PAIN?

I was nervous my first time too. Take the epidural. I was nervous about the epideral but the nurse and dr's told me 99% of the women they see, take the epidural. Some people can handle the pain without it and they are amazing. You will do fine.

Hi D.:
Just remeber this...no matter what your birthing experience gives you or how much pain you go through as long as in the end you're holding a beautiful, healthy baby all the pain will be forgotten. I know it is hard to believe now, but it is true. I just had my son in July after 24 hours of labor, an extremely troubled delivery, and finally an emergency C-section and all the pain that goes along with that afterwards, without a doubt I can now say that I would do it all over again to have my beautiful little boy. Take care, T.

I have a couple seeds of advice to add to the others. I would get the epidural as soon as possible. I waited a little bit and by then my contractions were pretty painful so it was harder to hold still while the DR was putting the epidural in. Therefore, my doctor had a little trouble getting in correctly(also probably b/c i have a bony back).
Another thing that happened to me was right before my 9 lb daughter was about to come out, my doctor got called away to an emergency c section and i had to wait for 20 minutes (with my daughter crowning and i felt a lot of pressure) I didn't think there was anything wrong with this until my tailbone hurt so bad for the next week that I could barely move. So don't think that taking breaks towards the end of pushing will be totally beneficial! Little breaks probably won't hurt, but i believe that 20 minutes is what killed me! Other than that, the epidural works wonders and i really didn't have a lot of pain. Afterwords I told everyone that it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be! Good luck!

I'm 9 months pregnant and am due on the 16th, so I've been thinking about labor and delivery a lot lately too. I've had two previous births, so I'll tell how mine went.

My labor didn't start out extremely painful. They start out as cramps... like menstrual cramps. They keep coming regularly and have started in the middle of the night with both my pregnancies, so I couldn't sleep. Over time they get progressively more intense as you get closer to delivering the baby.

My first pregnancy I had a lot of intervention... I think I went to the hospital too early. I was in labor for 24 hours. I wasn't progressing, so they gave me pitocin. Then an epidural and in the end the doctor used forceps. It was an awful experience.

Because of this, I decided with my second pregnancy to wait longer and let my body do more of the work. My cousin had actually talked me into doing it natural. As the contractions came, I just concentrated on relaxing. At the hospital, I didn't let them give me pitocin this time... just let my body do it's thing. After a while the contractions got too painful... it was crazy and I couldn't take it so I got an epidural. I don't know how my cousin deals with doing it natural, but I couldn't. I do have big babies though, so that might make it more painful. Anyway, I feel absolutely no pain once I have epidurals, so I rested and it was wonderful relief and it was time to deliver the baby about an hour later and I just pushed him right out. It was great.

They put him in my arms and I nursed him immediately... he knew just what to do.

I plan on doing things about the same with this pregnancy... I'm definitely going to be ready to get an epidural, but I'll probably wait until I really need it. I feel like the epidural was given too soon in my first pregnancy and I was just laying on the bed the whole time, so my labor wasn't progressing.

Good luck!

I won't lie. It's painful, very painful. Take the epidural, it's a beautiful thing that will help you get through it! The good thing is that after the delivery the pain goes away and you are so in awe of your baby that you pretty much forget about it. But trust me when I say to take the epidural.

Hi! First, it's completly normal that the closer it gets, the more fear you feel. I know everyone says the pain isn't that bad...to be honest, it is bad. That being said, it is SOOOO worth it. I tried to do it natural, but my son was too big and was grinding his shoulder on my hip bone with every contraction and every push. NOT WISE FOR ME. I don't handle pain that well either. In the end, I was SOOO bad that the dr did an epidural and there was no pain after that. I even had a C-Section on the epidural and was awake and didn't fell anything. STOP FRETTING! IT IS GOING TO BE OKAY. Most women completly forget any pain once they hold their baby! I personally only remember that it did infact hurt, not the pain itself! You will be fine, and you will do wonderfully. Remember the breathing, and bring something to use as a focal point, it's gona be GREAT!
much luck and much love!

Hi D.! Having a baby, especially your first is always exciting. Congrats! I have two boys (5 & 1) my first son was a pretty tough labor. It was 24 hours of hard induced labor. I take that back, it was 20 hours of hard induced labor and 4 hours of I'm in heaven labor. I was one of those women that said "I'm not going to take meds, etc.. Yadda yadda yadda." And you know, to each his own if that's what you decide to do. But when 20 hours had passed and I was only still 3 centimeters dialated with a c-section right around the corner, my no meds theory went right out the window. They gave me an epidural and I SAW THE LIGHT! :) I immediately felt relief. I also almost immediately went to sleep (still 3 centimeters mind you). 2 hours later I woke up to be checked and guess what, I was 10 centimeters and ready to push. I pushed for almost two hours because he was so big, but I did not feel a bit of it. I was a new epidural fan! What was happening was I was so tense and in so much pain that I wasn't allowing the baby to come down or myself to dialate. He would have eventually come, sure. But the epidural made me relax and everything just went real fast after that. My second baby I tried to go with no epideral unless I felt that I was starting to not be able to relax myself, at which point I got one. My labor went from about 12:oo pm to 5:46 pm. So much faster. And again, it all really sped up when I got the epidural.
My suggestion is to see how it goes first without the epidural, but if you start getting into to much pain, don't hesitate to get the epidural. Overall and either way, you will do wonderful. Us women have been doing this for years:) You are no different. I did not believe people when they would tell me "you will forget the pain." But it is true, at first you will never want to have another baby as long as you live. But in about a year you will be asking for another one. Wierd huh? So just get ready and know you will do fine no matter what. Labor is only momentary, your baby is your joy of a lifetime!

I am not really sure what kind of advice you are looking for. Does it hurt...oh yeah it hurts. Would I recommend the epidural...oh yeah definitely. I had it and loved it.

My labor was totally in my back. I did not have one cramp or any discomfort in my abdomen area at all. However the seizing/cramping in my back was absolutely amazing. When you start cramping be it in your abdomen area or your back and it is knocking the wind out of you and happening on a regular basis...say every 4 minutes or so...you probably need to go to the hospital.

I was so worried that I would end up getting to the hospital and they would send me home that I waited until I was about 3 minutes apart on my contractions, I then had a 45 minute drive to the hospital. I would not recommend this. My labor was relatively short especially for a first baby from what I have heard. My labor lasted from start to end about 8 hours. I went into labor at about 3:00 in the morning, got to the hospital about 7:00 in the morning and my daughter was born at 11:48 a.m. and that was after they gave me an hour to rest after giving me the epideral. I actually went through transition while they were giving me the epideral (also do not recommend this)and so technically by the time they were done giving me the epideral I could have immediately started pushing. Instead, being the wonderful nurses that they were they let me rest for an hour before I started pushing. I pushed for about 15 minutes and my baby girl was born.

Good luck and you will be fine. One way or another that baby is going to come out and no matter how it does it it is going to hurt but when they put that baby in your arms for the first time the only thing you will be able to thing about is that baby.

Good luck and congradulations.

Congratulations!
sure, don't be a hero - get the epidural (make sure you need it - some women are really fine without it depends on how long you are in labor) - but maybe try a walking epidural first as a full epidural can prolong labor.
As for pain, well - I think it is different for everyone and everyone copes differently. The best you can do is accept that it will hurt - have some strategies for diversion - labor coach, music, candles (get one of those candle warmers as you can't have opn flames around the O2)... a good book (if you can't read it have your coach read it to you) - whatever works for you.
One thing that works for pain, passes time and speeds up labor - walking! You might feel like you can't possibly - but you can and will feel much better!
Let us know how it all works out for you - maybe you will have some coping advice for others :) Good luck and (this may sound silly because you are feeling some apprehension right now) but enjoy it! It will be a fond memory later (no matter how awful it might seem at the time). Oh, and get lots of exercise before delivery - the better shape you are in (and don't forget those Kegels) the better it will go!

Labor truly is so different then you could ever expect. I took all of the classes as well and when I had my daughter 17 mths ago the labor was more painful then I could ever imagine. I was determined to not get the epideral for 2 reasons 1-I am scared to death of shots and 2-I did not want to start my daughter's life off with medication. I know everyone has different views but I did everything possible for my daughter to be healthy while I was pregnant (i.e. no cold medicine when I was sick etc) thus in the last few hours of my pregnancy I did not want to give my daughter a strong pain medication. But trust me I was so close to changing my mind during labor, that I totally understand why people do get the epideral. I did get the medication that they give through your IV and I can tell you it does not relief any of the pain but it does relax you and helps you sleep in between contractions. I think this medicine was great because it helped me relax inbetween contractions without having the whole epideral procedure. Things don't normally work out as you have planned. I had all of these pain relieving techniques in mind like walking etc but instead I was confined to the bed while they flushed out my uterus and gave me medication to speed up my contractions. I was fortunate because I delivered my daugther within 3 1/2hrs. They also had to cut me because of my daughter's head being large but I wouldn't have even known if I hadn't seen the look on my husband's face and that was with no pain medication either. I took a shower the day I delivered and was in no pain except when I breastfeed. I can tell you this, nothing anyone says will come close to labor and your experience. I was prepared for a lot of pain but my image of the pain did not come close to the actual thing. I was one of those ladies in labor that was actually screaming when I had the contractions to push. My husband kept telling me to be a little quieter, boy did I want to hit him at that moment. When my daugther came out I told my husband that next time we are going to adopt but by the time I left the hospital I wanted a second child and I am now due in December. The pain is hard to deal with but in the end you have the most precious thing in the whole world in your hands and trust me you don't know love until you have a child. Don't expect a lot from the baby either. My daughter cried most of the first day she wouldn't take a pacifier and I was so worried because she seemed so unhappy but in the end it was probably all of the stress of birth. Congratulations and just relax and enjoy the sleep you get right now because everything will change very soon.

Hi D.! I gave birth to my first child, a son, last september. Like you, I was also nervouse about the delivery because I don't handle pain very well. I'm not afriad to admit that I'm a whimp! I went into labor at about 3:00 am, with contractions every 2-3 minutes. I wasn't due for another 2 weeks so I was very suprised and overwhelmed. By 11:00, my contractions were 2 minutes apart, and very painful so I ordered an epidural. People will scare you when they say it's this big huge needle put into your back, but you don't even feel anything. The rest of my labor was great, I felt discomfort but nothing compared to before I had the epidural. I pushed like 4 times and @ 4:35 pm gave birth to my baby boy! Don't let anybody scare you or let you feel like less of a woman because you chose to have an epidural. There are 2 ways to have a baby, with pain or without it. The outcome is the same, so why suffer if you don't have to? I give props to all the woman who do it naturally, but it's not for me. I have a healthy son, and good memories about labor and delivery. I'm not scared or firghtened to do it agian.

hi there.. well congratualtions on your upcoming lil' bundle of joy.. i am also a young mom, i'm 22, and i have two little girls. a 2 year old and a 13month old. i had 2 completely different labors as well. my first, oh, i was a basket case. i must've had the corvette of cervixes b/c i dialted really quickly. which i wasnt prepared for b/c i had heard that first time moms kinda take a while. but since i was dialating so quickly, my contractions were extremely severe. they were, at least felt like, non-stop and beyond painful. they thought i wouldnt have time for an epidural, so i was given demeral. which helped a little but wore off quickly. but luckily, the anethesiologist got there in time. well, i was already at 8, so i definitely went through the brunt of the pain. after i got the epidural, i fell asleep. i got a little 2 hour nap. before i woke up to having to push for an hour and a half. my first baby was a big one. she came out 8lbs.14oz. so definitely not an easy challenge to undergo. but in all honesty, the pain immediately goes away. so it was tough but it really just stops. as soon as the baby comes. its an amazing feeling. to know you worked so hard to bring your baby into the world. you almost totally forget anything that happened. i sat right there and said, wow, i cant wait to do this again. now, with my 2nd. i was taken completely off guard. my first came on her due date. and the second was 2 1/2 weeks early. i was in the mall and my water broke!! i was completely beside myself. i think the stat's on having your water break before any labor begins is like 10% of women, and then of that 10% its even fewer that the woman would be in a public place when it happened. i never thought my water would break before i went into labor, b/c they had to break it right before pushing with my first. anyway, when i got to the hospital, i was only dialted like 2, and it took forever for me to dialte. i was on pitocin for 29 hours! before i was ready to push her out. and then pushing was really only like 20 minutes. she was 6lbs 7oz at birth so i had no problem pushing her out. and the lamaze did really help. i tried to hold off on the epidural till i really needed it. and i was kind of sitting on the bed rolling my hips and really concentrating on breathing through the contractions and it really does help. you know how when you take really deep breaths over and over you kind of get this real cleansing, light headed type of feeling? well thats what it was like. if you really dont focus on the pain and concentrate solely on breathing and doing whatever else takes your mind off the contraction.. it will help. i was rubbing my husbands back when he'd sit in front of me as i was breathing. the hurses thought that was funny b/c it shouldve been him rubbing my back.. but for some reason it made me focus and the constant runbbing made my hands feel better and took my mind off each contraction. but when i realized i'd be there forever i went ahead and got the epidural. just so i could rest.
so two totally different births from the same mom.. and if i try for a third, who knows what to expect. but i'mm telling you, there's nothing in the world like it and soon enough you'll know for yourself. its the most amazing thing i've ever been a part of. get to know your nurses, they'll be your best friends. and if you have any concerns or requests dont hesitate to call on them. they are there to make you comfortable, so dont feel bad. surround yourself with loved ones, and make beautiful memories.. i hope everything goes well for you and i hope you have an enjoyable birthing experience.. good luck.. and let me know how everything turns out!! i love swapping birth stories! as a mother, its the one thing we have that nobody else can touch ya know.. God Bless!!

You are getting ready for one of the greatest adventures in your life and one of the most rewarding. I once heard that women remember birth. I is true I am 62 and I can tell you almost every detail of my births. I think the most important thing you can do is be informed about the pros and cons of having a epidural. As a doula I have seen it work just fine and I have seen it not work. It is especially hard for a woman when this happens as she is expecting a "pain free" labor. Labor that is just what it is hard work! Some woman experience more pain than others and fear is a factor in the whole pain issue. When you understand what happens during labor and birth and what you can do to help (walking, shower/tub, squating - being active basically)it will help you to have an easier labor. I highly recommend a doula to help you. She is trained to support a woman during labor and birth and has many ways she can help you. One thing a doula does not do is decide for you what you want during birth. If you decide to have an epidural it is your choice. there are many doulas that do not charge if you are unable to pay. Contact www.DONA.org for information. I would feel amiss if I did not mention that you also need to be informed about circumcision since you are having a boy. Circumcision is PAINFUL for the baby; your pain is nothing compared to what babies experience during this unncecessary procedure. PLEASE check out the info at www.nocir.com. Best wishes for a wonderful birth. Children are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Proverbs

I am a first time mom of a 16 month old girl. I too, was very nervouse. I told myself that I would go as long as my pain tolerance could handle it before I asked for an epidural. The night before I delivered I was up alot due to labor pains. That morning I asked for an epidural becuase I hit my pain tolerance. I knew there were risks involoved, but staying relaxed and resting before I needed to push was more important at the time. I had a great experience with it. Once you get it, you can't get out of bed. However, I was so drained that I slept and watch TV until it was time to push. I felt no pain. When The time got closer I felt presuure so I knew when to push and when not to. Everyone is different, you just have to trust your own gut. I hope this helped. If you have anymore questions about anything please feel free to send me a message.

Hey...you will be fine. For me lamaze was a waste of time! We saw videos pf ladies in labor, taking a shower, hanging out. Not in my case! My water broke at home, I got to the hospital about 45 mins later...I was 5 cm. They put me in bed and didnt let me move! I didnt even have time to set up my cd player, or get out all the books I brought! They wouldnt even let me go to the bathroom! Halle was out 2 hours after my water broke, and I only had to push 4 times! My dr barely got there in time! Good luck!!

I am a first time mom also. I had my son in July. The only advice that I can share with you is to keep an open mind. Don't go in saying that you don't want any drugs or you want this one particular drug or you will be disappointed. Not only is everyone's labor and delivery different, but everyone handles pain differently. I had the same concerns as you as i got closer, but the woman who taught my lamaze class told me to keep an open mind and in the end you won't be disappointed. I took her advice and had a pretty easy labor and wasn't disappointed about anything that went on during my labor or delivery.

Hi D., my name is C., I'm a 36 year old mother of two. I had to be induced with both of my children, so I had to have the pitocin drip. Each birth was a little different, but I did have both vaginally and each went very well.
My advice to you is this: I remember very well how truly scary the first time is. If you're anything like me, I'm sure you're going through a variety of emotions, fear being one of the biggest ones. Don't be afraid to be afraid!! It's a natural, normal emotion. It's OK, but just be sure to trust in yourself that you will go through this with flying colors. Just make sure that you don't forget that you are the most important person (other than the baby) in this whole process. It's your body, and your experience. Doctors and nurses and friends and family tend to forget that and want to give you all kinds of advice and tell you what to do and how to feel. Remember to stand up for yourself. As it comes nearer time to deliver, and when you get to the hospital, don't worry about being a pain and bothering people, if you are scared, or upset, or confused about what is going on, you make sure you ask questions, lots of them if you need to. Be sure to tell your partner and birth coaches how you are feeling, both emotionally and physically. This is YOUR day! If you need something from the nurses, tell them, if you are feeling something you're not sure if it is normal or not, ask them. It's their job to take care of you and the baby. Since you are going to lamaze classes, they should explain all the different types of pain management (and the risks associated with them) in class. You will know when the time comes how your pain tolerance is, and what type of pain management to ask for. I personally, with my first child had demeral first, which took the edge off a little bit for a while, and ultimately ended up having the epidural. I also had an epidural with my second child. Both were great. Just make sure you talk about any questions and concerns you have with your doctor, and they should be able to help calm some of the fears you have. I hope you have a wonderful birth. Congratulations, you're about to start the best (and hardest) job you will ever have. Good luck! Let us all know how it goes. I'll be thinking of you.

D.,

Hi! Congrats to you on soon to become a mommy. I have had 2 children. My first birth was natural and I did have the epideral. The second birth was an emergency c-section. For the natural birth, I was numb. The only thing I felt was the contractions before the epidural struck. Contractions can be bothersome. But all women are different. I personally do not like pain but the birth of my daughter naturally was a breeze. The recovery was fine. As for the birth of my son. I was very scared, having to be rushed in for an emergency c-section was heart stopping for me. The overall procedure went fairly quick and recovery was, for me, very tough. I was in alot of pain but I didn't take any meds other then ibprophen because pain meds make me ill. For you being a first time mom, I would just relax and enjoy the birth no matter how your child enters this world. All births are differnt and everyone handles things differently. Just take it easy and enjoy.

One last note, Yes childbirth is painful but don't think if you have the epideral that medication will affect your baby, it doesn't harm your baby at all. Not sure where the other message may have heard that from.

Good luck and Congrats,
S. 28 year old mommy of 2

Good luck!
I did not care as much about "empowerment" or such as much as I wanted the baby OUT and for me and baby to be healthy... with as little pain as possible.

GO with your instincts... it will kick in.

I'm now pregnant with my 4th child and each pregnancy and each labor have all been completely different. The first was emergency c-section due to placental abruption. Second started on it's own on the due date, but needed a little pitocin after a while for not progressing. I got the epidural and didn't feel a single thing after that. They used a suction cup to guide him out. The last was much bigger and past the due date, so they induced from the beginning. I got the epidural again thinking it would be the same as before, only it wasn't. It took 7 tries for one doc to get it in, then it only worked on half my body. So a couple hours later, I convinced them that it wasn't in right and they got another doc to come do it. That time it worked, but as delivery neared, the entire feeling of delivering my 9lb 9oz baby was very acute. No one told me before that when the pushing feeling comes, it's almost impossible to not push. That was the hardest part. I needed to push, but they were telling me to wait. The second his body came out, I felt such a wave of relief. All the pain stopped immediately. The epidural didn't matter at that point. Do your research. There are so many things that can happen during labor, and with the epidural that would freak you out if you didn't know about it ahead of time. If you do opt for the epidural, know that you will also get a catheter and be confined to your bed for the remainder of your labor.
One thing that helped me a lot, and does with everyday issues too, is saying to myself "This Too Will Pass". Everything in life is temporary. Including the pain of childbirth. It may take a while to get through it, but you'll do it. And you'll be so proud of what you've accomplished once you're done. I truly believe that childbirth is a miracle. You created that tiny little person and you get to bring him into this world to show him all the wonderful things it has to offer. No man can ever compare :o).
And if any woman that's never given birth claims to be unafraid of the "what if's" of childbirth, she's lying. Even experienced mommies, like myself, still get a little scared when thinking about what lies ahead.
But... That too will pass!
Keep your wits about you and be informed, but don't take every horror story to heart. The women telling the stories made it through and so did their babies :o)

Hello D.! I am 26 and now have the most beautiful 4-month old baby girl. I was very worried about labor too, I wanted to do it without pain medication so I also went to the child birth classes, etc. When the day arrived that Emily joined us (a week late) I was sooooo nervous. I labored at home for a few hours (like 10 hours) and decided to go to the hosptial in the morning, after I called my midwife. When we got there the contractions got very hard to handle, I was afraid that I would need the epidural to get through it. I had the nurse explain what they have to do to give me an epidural, it did not sound fun (needle in the back, cathider (sp) in the bladder, no walking) so, I decided NO WAY! The pain was very bad, by the end I was just yelling to get her out. I cried and cried. Walking around the room helped, taking shower helped but nothing really helped for very long. I will tell you, the worst part was not the actual delivery it was all the contractions leading to it. I felt like she was going to come out my butt (but I guess that is normal) She was 8lbs 7oz and I did it naturally and I would do it again the same way. What I thought before and after my labor was this...I spent 10 months watching what I ate, drank, smelled, everything and the day she is born I will not decide to drug myself. I was able to walk after she was born I wasn't groggy or tingly, the pain went away the moment I saw her face. I don't think your body would not give you something you can't handle. I hope this helps! After 4 months I am proud to be one of the few moms that did it naturally, women have been having babies for thousands of years...I promise you can do it and don't worry, the fear of the unknown is totally normal!

Hi D.,
I am a mother of five.My first born was very scary and I did not receive an epidual,it was very uncomfortable but very well worth it afterwards,My second came as a breeze no epidural,my third came a little more difficult and had minor complications ,my twins were delivered emergency c-section and was very scary and almost lost one.The recovery was very difficult.The best advice I can give is try to relax,easier said then done ...just look at it as if you are relaxed and calm and breathe that is the best thing for the baby.Babies don't tolerate stress so try to relax....epidural is great! little discomfort for a minute when they place the needle then you just feel pressure for contractions,other than that you will be fine! congrats on becoming a new mommy soon! Good luck!

I also live in Hernando.

H.

D. - I am a mother of two children. Both of my births were completley different. I won't give you the details exactly, but I will tell you that I had a natural childbirth with my first child (not my choice), and although I ended up with a C-Section with my second, I had the epidurhal.

The natural childbirth was extremely painful and while going through labor I swore I would never do it again, however after holding my beautiful and healthy baby in my arms it was all worth it. The pain was immediatley forgotten and I decided (after a few years) to have another child.

I did receive the epidurhal with my second child and even though I only had a small handful of contractions the pain was a conciderable lesser amount.

You should get all the information on epidurhals, so you know all the risks and side affects, but if I were to ever have another child, I would get it again.

DEAR D. HI MY NAME IS M. I HAVE FOUR CHILDREN THE PAIN THE DOCOTORS HAVE MEDICINE FOR THAT IT HELPS ALOT LIKE YOU SAID EVERYBODIES DIFFERENT SOME OF US WERE IN LABOR ALONG TIME SOME NOT SO LONG SOME EVEN HAD C SECTIONS DEPENDING HOW THINGS GO MY LABORS WERE VERY LONG AND PAINFUL CAUSE I CHOSE NOT TO HAVE MEDICINE BUT ALL IN ALL IT'S WORTH IT HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DELIVERY WITH YOU BABY BOY M.

D.....Giving birth was one of the nost beautiful/exciting experiences I have ever been through...maybe if I share my experience with you...it'll help ease things going through your mind :)

I was admitted into the hospital Friday, July 29th. My due date was Thursday, August 4th, but my dr. decided to induce me because my blood pressure started to go up a bit and I was so swollen...so he decided it would be safer to go ahead with the delivery earlier than later..safer than sorry... They woke me up on 4:00 am saturday morning to start my induction process...They gave me pitocin....but the pitocin made the whole labor worse for me...I was given an epidural at 8:00 am Sat. morning which I was 3cm dialated...The epidural never kicked in so they had to redose me every hour. Needless to say....All day I was feeling the pain and there wasn't much that could be done about it...At about 10pm sat. night I started pushing....I pushed for 3 hours and wasn't getting anywhere..Finally my Ob/Gyn came in and examined me and said that the baby wasn't coming out....I had a C-section...At 1:50 am Sunday morning I finally got to lay eyes on my precious babygirl...Makenna Ryleigh.....I hope your delivery goes well :)...And I hope reading all of our posts helps you...Take care!

B.

I used one of the narcotics with my first child and was asleep most of the time and couldn't really enjoy the birth experience. After the labor was very uncomfortable and tired, I didn't want visitors, I just wanted to be left alone for a while. For my second child I had an epidural and even tough it did not get rid of all my pain, it was wonderful to be awake, joking with my husband and nurses. I enjoyed the whole birth and I was comfortable and able to receive guests with no problem after teh delivery. I even went home a day early... It was great. and I bet it would be even better for someone who has an epidural that works the whole way and as for those who say the epidural slows labor, my son was born 2 hours after I got the epidural. Good luck no matter what you choose.

Hello D., my name is Angie. I was so scared also. But I guess since I had so much built up in me from think about the pain I would be in that it didn't seem all that bad! I even had to watch I friend of mine have her child on tape and it scared me like crazy. But when it came to it, it hurt, but it was just a pain that was annoying more than hurting pain, lol. Good-Luck!

D., good luck on your pending little one. Motherhood is the greatest reward in the world. There's nothing like it.
I'm sure you already have had a zillion comments on this, but here's my two cents. First, there just is NO experience that compares to someone else's. I've had 2 kids and everything from conception to birth was different. Labor is miserable, painful, and incredibly difficult... hence its name! After both of my boys what I remember is that it was tough (30 hours for the first, 8 hours for the second... both wound up being c-sections!) but when it was over, I couldn't care less about pain or the time spent getting them here. My beautiful boys were all the result I needed. Just know that NO MATTER how low your pain threshold, no matter what a wimp you think you are, you are ALREADY A MOTHER and you will muster up the strength to labor and deliver your precious boy.
And don't be afraid of painkillers during labor to help out. If you choose to go with the epidural, just be ready for the large needle and the initial pain... things that are not such a big deal when the pain of labor is upon you. It is a great relief, particularly if you wind up in a long labor.
My only other advice is not to allow them to induce you unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary. It increases the duration of labor (in case you wondered, yes, my 30-hour labor was the result of an induction) and increases your likelihood of a c-section.
Hope that helps. Good luck and best wishes.

Hi D.,
I would be lying if I said there wasn't pain, but you forget about it the minute you have the baby. I actually gave birth 5 weeks early to my now 15 month old son. My water broke so they enduced me at 8:00pm. I too wanted the epidural, but they didnt let me have it until I was 3 cm. So I went through petocin contractions until 6:00 the next morning when I finially was given the epidural. What worked for me was this: I actually picked a prayer (if your not religious pick a song or poem) and I said it during every contraction, to keep my mind off the pain. I also kept remembering that it is only temporary, the pain doesn't last forever. You get breaks. I didnt have my son until noon and that was after 3 hours of pushing. I definately encourage the epidural because I didnt feel a thing after I got it!!! It did make pushing a little more difficult, but I had great coaches to help guide me. I would consider my labor difficult because of the petocin and the 17 hours of labor, but when he was here I said, "I can do that again!!" My husband nearly fell out of his chair!! Focus on the end result and you will make it just like every other woman!
Good luck
K.

I also had the peridural and I tell you I was worried like you were. I hate pain... no I HATE PAIN!!!!! But I tell you what my son's (first born) del was the best. I was induced. And I had the peridural. The funny story was: My doc to give me the peridural was running behind, so the nurse said he wouldn't be there for 2 hours and gave me a "cocktail" shot in my IV. I was out like a light. 20 min later my doc shows up to give me the peridural. I had no clue I was out. I slept through everything. Contractions, pain, all of it. Woke up when I felt like I had to go to the bathroom (#2). Doc told me I was ready to del. I pushed 4 times and he was out. The doc never had a chance to even cut me. It was over. I highly recommend the peridural for the pain. The only thing I can say about the peridural as far as side effects. It made my legs num. Which felt weired. But thats it. It broke my face out. But who cares. I had a beautiful baby boy, healthy, cute baby in my arms. Well thats my story anyway. I hope it helps.

I would say the one thing that you have to keep in mind is that the actual pain of labor is very temporary and you are a strong woman, keep a cool head my biggest worry when I had my first child was that some kind of freaky complication would happen to me or the baby, and everything turned out fine. hopefully the hospital or midwife center you go and deliver at will let you move around as long as possible I can tell you that was the best thing for pain for me personally the third time around, the first time I had to just lay in bed the second time they only let me walk around and after I got the epidural I had to lay in bed, it was much more empowering as a woman to be able to do it without meds or being told to just lay their. You will know what to do and hopefully your doctor has already talked wtih you about how much freedom you have with it. Also make sure you talk to the nurses if you go to a hospital and ask them what they will and will not allow, hope this helps and congrats on your baby.

D., I have had two children. My first was completely natural, nothing at all for the pain. I have been present at and assisted in several births. Yes, there is pain and that is to be expected. The best advise I can give to you for managing the pain is to listen to the person assisting you wether it's the nurse or doctor. They have been through this many times and are seeing it from a whole different perspective than you are. Following the directions they give you will make it a very pleasant and vertualy easy experience. As crazy as it sounds, how and when you breath is the real key. No matter how well you pay attention in your childirth classes, all of that will be forgotten when the time comes, rely on your medical staff, they will guide you through it. Most importantly, when you are admitted, give the staff time to get you settled in and get thier charts etc setup then there will be time for you to share your thoughts and concerns with them. Do it, if they are aware ahead of time, they will be better able to suite your needs. Remember, to them it's routine, and unless you tell them otherwise, they assume it is for you too. Good luck.

Hi D., you have recieved alot of advice. As you can see everyone is different so don't ever think yours is going to be like someone else's. I have two children. I had my first at the hospital and second one at home. Two totally different experiences. You will never be prepare for child birth until after you have your first child. No amount of reading and advice can prepare you for it. However, that being said you should read, read, read. Buy the books you think are way out there on advice..you know the holistic ones, "Calm Birth", "Birthing from With In"...etc. These women have been helping mothers give birth for years and years they know what they are talking about. Get the current ones too just for you to compare to. If you can watch videos of births at hospitals verses ones at birthing centers it would be great too. What a vast difference. I am sure a birthing center near you would let you watch any videos they would have and not charge you. They are all about educating you. You will think differently about labor after you have your baby. Just think about it, millions of women before you have had babies and they even went through it multiple times. If it's so bad why do we keep having babies? Here is what I learned from my experiences. Stay away from Potocin, it makes your contractions more painful. During your contractions you must concentrate on your breathing. DO NOT LET YOUR SELF GO AND START SCREAMING. It makes the pain sooo much worse. HIRE A DOULA!! She has been there and done that many, many times. Nurses at hospitals only check on you once an hour, a Doula is there the entire time. An epidural does bring great relief, but you do miss out on the best part. However, it does not and could not ruin the arrival of your son. Stay up right and walking, take a shower, sitting on birthing ball, etc. It helps alot! Laying in the bed is no fun, unless you go with the epidural. I have seen them work and not work. It's not good news when it doesn't work, as you are not prepared for that in your mind. Over all I would say it really is all mind over matter. The most educated women seem to have a better birthing experience over those who choose to just let it happen. I commend you for asking for everyone's experience, just don't look at all the bad and scary stuff and focus on it alone. It's a absolutely amazing experience any way you choose to do it. Everyone is right...trust your instincts. Oh yes, buy the way. Do your research on the hospital where you are having your baby the other hospitals in your surrounding area. This also makes a big differnce in your experience. I pray that you have a wonderful birth experience. You're life is about to change in the most wonderful way. Nothing well ever compare to this moment. CONGRATULATIONS on being a first time mom!!!!

Congratulations on the coming birth of your first little boy! Like you, I did the classes, read the books and even asked other moms the same question you are asking. But honestly, nothing could prepare me for the birth of my son. My labor was induced around 8:00pm with pitocin. At my hospital they will allow you to receive the epidural when ever you like so I was all for that. I will say that the epidural worked until about 10:00am and at that time I was 10cm almost 100% effaced. That was the hardest thing for me to deal with. I kept asking for pain relievers and they couldn't give it to me. It was a lot of pain at one time and I was totally unprepared for that. So for you to know, I happen to be one of those people that it just did not work for. My cramping was in my stomach and back, so it was pretty painful. I will let you know, that with every contraction they are just going to keep getting more unbearable. At some point you are going to peak and nothing you do is going to make it any better. Once I started pushing at around 10:30 or so, that made the pain of it more tolerable for me. I will add one more thing, yelling never helped any baby come out any sooner. I tried that and all it did was leave me in that much more pain. Also, make sure to do a lot of research on the hospital you are delivering at. My hospital was the wrong choice for me. They changed my doctors on me 30 minutes before I delivered. They took my good doctor from me and gave me a women who had a broken arm to deliver my baby. I cant tell you what a difference that made in the way I felt at that moment before my baby was born. So, on that note, I will say good luck and enjoy every painful second of it, because when all that work is over you will get a prize at the end, your baby!

T.