First Time Mom --- All Alone and Lost

Here's a great big hug for you!!! I am so sorry you are having all these problems.
First - you need some tender-loving care. You are depressed and you need to take care of you so that you can be the best mom you can be. I have had ppd with all my kids. Get some help for that from your doctor, or some kind of support.
Second - If you want to breast feed your dd, you need support there as well. Seek out a consultant or the La Leche League. The hospital you gave birth in will have consultants you can call. Get her to nurse any way you can. Pumping will not increase your supply, nursing will. Eating oatmeal helps; fenugreek, blessed thistle, mother's milk tea - all herbals that will help supply issues(www.kellymom.com)
Third - there are a lot of parenting websites out there - www.babycenter.com is one of my favorites - they'll send you monthly e-mails regarding development, etc. Find ones you like to get you up to speed on your little one's development.
Lastly - if you can't nurse her, don't beat yourself up over it. Your daughter needs her mama happy and healthy. If it causes too much stress then just stop, knowing you've done the best you could.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! Email me if you need to and I'll give you my phone number, you can call me any time.
God bless you and keep you close,
L.

Sweetheart, You do your best for your baby and sometimes breastfeeding is just not in their best interest our yours... It is ok. The fact that you have tried for 3 months is AWESOME!!!
I breastfed my son for 6 weeks then my milk dryed up due to stress...
Please just enjoy your little one. Love her, play with her, hold her.
And get help more with depression than with anything. That will help to.
You are not alone!

I had MAJOR problems with breastfeeding and a lot of depression because of it. I think one of the hardest things about having a new baby is that no one tells you that BFing isn't always easy or that something may happen to keep you from being able to do it (like an insensitive doctor) I know the disappointment you are feeling but just remember that you did what you could! Don't be so h*** o* yourself. Plenty of babies are formula fed and grow up healthy, beautiful and brilliant!! That being said I know how much of a hassle formula can be and the fact that you aren't getting a regular dose of relaxing oxytocin (released when bfing) probably isn't helping your mood. I began feeling better around 6 months ( I think my hormones started evening out) YOU WILL FEEL BETTER even if it doesn't seem like it now. Try joining a new moms group or Gymboree or something to meet other moms with new babies. You may find that you aren't the only one feeling this way. My heart really goes out to you...you are not alone!!

As the other posts attest, you are not alone. I had a lot of problems breastfeeding my oldest daughter. What ended up working for us was I would breast feed her for 10 minutes on each side (any longer and my pediatrician said it would wear her out), then give her a bottle. For a while I also pumped to increase my milk supply, but it didn't seem to work so well and was taking up way too much time that I could have been enjoying her so I quit. At the point of my deepest frustration when I felt like a failure, my husband (in desperation) called our baby class teacher from the hospital and she gave me some wonderful advice. She said that the most important thing for your baby is that you're happy. If that means breastfeeding, then great. If you can't breastfeed, don't waste your time fretting about it; she will be just fine on formula. When my second and third children were born, i was much more relaxed. They would both nurse and then have a bottle, and never really minded the transition. I'm not sure how much breastmilk they actually got, but I enjoyed spending that time with them.

I wouldn't waste your time pumping. If you really want to breastfeed, try to nurse her at each feeding, then give her a bottle afterwards to make sure she's getting enough. And...if breastfeeding doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world. Talk to her, sing to her, play peekaboo with her - that's the important stuff.

Also, you might want to think about joining a mom's group to get out and get the support of other moms. MOPS, Moms Clubs, or a mom and baby fitness class are good. Or check out www.moms.meetup.com to find mom's groups in your area.
If you live near Allen and would like to meet at a park or chat on the phone, send me an e-mail (My youngest daughter is 14 months.) You don't have to do this alone! There's a whole world of mommies out there to help.

First off, hugs to you. I'm so sorry you are feeling so depressed and emotional about this all. Secondly, I think it's wonderful that you want to figure out how to breastfeed your baby. I think it was very wrong of your doctor to pull you off breastfeeding, and I can completely understand your feelings of frustration and upset over that. Doctors actually aren't trained in regards to breastfeeding (unless they choose on their own to train themselves), so I find it irritating when they give advice on it.

If there is any way at all, contact someone from the LeLecheLeague and see if they can help you. I know in some areas they have classes you can go to. They would answer your questions.

Keep up the pumping. Pump every three hours at least, every two hours if you can stand it. Remember that just because you only pump out 2-3 oz doesn't mean that is all that is being produced. A breast pump doesn't work as well as a baby. Also, maybe try the supplemental nursing system. This is where you have a bottle of milk around your neck, a tube by your nipple, so when the baby latches on to your breast, she's stimulating your breast to make more milk...and she's also getting nutrition. Here's a random link to one:
http://www.affordable-breastfeeding-supplies.com/medsupnu...

Try taking fenugreek (spelling?!) because that will help increase your milk supply. Also, avoid caffeine. Remember that boobs work in a supply and demand type of way. The more you demand from them, the more they will offer a supply. Drink lots of water.

We had issues with my daughter after she was born. She had open heart surgery and had oral aversion issues as well as a cleft of the soft palate (which we didn't know she had until she was 11 months old). It was an incredibly difficult and emotional time trying to get her to nurse. My heart goes out to you and all the feelings you are dealing with! It can be amazingly emotional.

Hopefully others will give good advice. I think maybe try tossing the bottles and do the SNS system. That will help her be more interested in continuing nursing as well. Good luck.

I went threw something similar as what you are going through and I know its tough...hang in there...it will get better! When I was trying to get my milk to come in, I took some drops that my daughter's doc recommended call "A Mother's Milk" (you can get it at Whole Foods). The drops taste awful but they helped me and I would have done anything to nurse! I know how you are feeling and you are not alone (even though it feels that way!) You can always try to find playgroups in your area. What part of Dallas are you in? I live in Lake Highlands and we have a great network of playdates for all ages. It is a great way to get out of the house and be around adults but its still centered around your child. Let me know if you live close to Lake Highlands...if so, we could have a playdate sometime soon! You can e-mail me at ____@____.com
:) J.

I promise you it will get better. Having a newborn is OVERWHELMING!!! I was clueless when I had mine. Just go with the flow, take it day by day, and you will realize you know so much more than you give yourself credit for. About breastfeeding: I did not breastfeed my son, and guess what, he is perfectly fine. We have an amazing bond, and I do not feel it has hurt him at all. He is a beautiful healthy two year old now. I know breastfeeding is good, but sometimes people put too much emphasis on it, and if its not working for you, save yourself some stress and let it go. There are other ways to give them nourishment and bonding. You will be in my prayers in the weeks and months to come, and please feel free to email me if you ever need anything, or just to talk.

Oh, Sweetie! I know what it's like to have no family in town. Our daughter was losing weight so fast at birth, too. She went from 7 lbs. 4 oz. at birth, to 5 lbs. 7 oz.. She finally gained weight (1/2 oz!) at 3 weeks, which kept us from having to do anything special for her. But even after she gained a little more weight, she was still not that interested in eating, and my supply was suffering. My OB's nurse gave me something to help, but I wanted to do it on my own, without devices; so, I contacted my Ped's office. The lactation consultant suggested gliding the side of my hand downward (toward the nipple), while she was eating to help the milk along. It worked! She gained more weight and was interested in eating. And...I didn't feel like I was nursing ALL DAY!!! lol

I don't know much about PPD, but I know that you DO need a support system, whether it be in person or online. You NEED to know that it's normal to feel the way you do. You NEED to network with other Mommies about baby, you, life, whatever. If you're tired, it's okay to leave the housework for later.

Is there anyone from church or your neighborhood that is willing to help? You're going to need breaks, and maybe you and your husband can figure out a schedule for them.

I will be saying a prayer for you. Take care, dear!

As a previous post said- sometimes breastfeeding doesnt work out. I nursed my first DD for her first year and was confident that the same would happen for my next. However my second DD was not the same. I nursed her for about 4 months and she continued to lose weight. She nursed every couple of hours but she would only do it long enough to get just enough to satisfy- she wasnt getting full. After tests and blood work on my little one, my ped decided she just wasnt eating enough and they wanted me to try formula. I cried and cried but when she was given that first bottle she sucked it dry in no time! It worked so well for her and she started putting on weight immediately. I was hurt but it was the best thing for her. Maybe nursing is not for your little one either. It is okay and it may relieve some stress for you.
As for the PT job- if it takes too much of your time evaluate if the extra money is really worth it or if you can cut back on something and do without the extra money. It really takes some sacrifices to stay at home, but its worth it. Feel free to message me if you need to talk- I will be glad to listen. Good Luck!

DOn't beat your self up about this! She got exactly what she needed from you as soon as she was born. I had to quit nursing much earlier than I wanted to bc ny little girl at 2 mo. old got a kidney infection and was hospitalized for four days. I was stressed out and everytime I would latch her on, they would come in and take her blood (poking her foot) or doing her vitals. Needless to say--she quit nursing and I lost all my milk that week. I just had to remind myself that my intentions were good and feel good about that. Good Luck and just hang in there! :)

I am so sorry you feel so depressed and alone and unsure. I know that feeling. I was just the opposite with my first daughter. I have been around children since I was 16 yrs old and even if I didn't know what to do, I figured it out and I really didn't feel unsure of myself. Until she got sick and I had to take her to the hospital. She had meningitis and it took her hearing. She's been deaf since she was 6 months old. She's 9 yrs old now. I know how you feel. There were times I didn't know what to do, how to deal with what's she's going through, how to teach her to communicate and how to communicate with her. I felt overwhelmed, just like you do now. And sometimes you're going to really want something, but it may not happen because it's not really the best thing at the time.
I breast-fed all my girls. I know how important this is to you and what a wonderful experience it is, but if it's causing you too much stress or it can affect the health of your baby, maybe you should back down and just enjoy the time you have for being with her.
Also, if you really don't want to give this up, it may be the stress that's causing you to not produce enough milk. Take a break sometime; just an hour or so, just step away and take a deep breath. Sometimes when you're right in the middle of a problem it helps to just step away for a while.
When I had my second daughter, I didn't produce very much when I was pumping, but when she fed, it was more than enough. I think our bodies know when it's a machine and when it's a baby and reacts accordingly, so it could be that way for you, too. If you want to breastfeed, I say keep at it, but above all, do what's best for your baby. And if you're a religious person like me, pray. Ask Heavenly Father to help you know what to do. He will answer.
I hope this helps you. Let me know how you're doing. I'm here if you need to talk.