First Day of Kindergarten, MISSERABLE!!!!

Updated on September 09, 2011
H.X. asks from Los Angeles, CA
18 answers

first day of kinder, my child cried!!! he did not have a good day, kept wanting to know what time it is to see when i'm coming back. He cried a few times, but did have fun throughout the day, so the teacher says. He was THRILLED to see me, best behavior all the rest of the day!!! we leggoe'd, had dinner, read a book... Lovely afternoo...we spoke about the day, he kept mentioning that he's scared because he doesnt know anyone.... my heart breaks for him... What can i do? is this gonna get better??? is he gonna hate school forever??? i hope tomorrow's a better day :)

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answers from Houston on

My daughter started a preschool program 3 weeks ago and this is the first week she didn't cry when I was getting her ready. She has been home with me for 4 years so I know it is an adjustment. Every morning I wake her up and we talk about what fun things she might do in school that day. They will go to recess, and play in centers, and she loves to do art. I do my best to pump her up (even though it breaks my heart to think of her missing me) It might take him a while but he will adjust. Just don't let him hear you say that you are upset or nervous for him. Also, try the book The Kissing Hand. My daughter loves it.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

It will get better! As he gets to know other kids and learns the daily routines, I imagine he will begin to love going to school.

3 moms found this helpful

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answers from Seattle on

It will get better - he'll make one friend first and then another. His teacher can help if she knows he's worried about this (be sure to tell her privately when you see her next). Also - do you have a copy of the book "The Kissing Hand"? It's wonderful - about a little raccoon who is afraid to go to a new school and instead wants to stay home with his mama. She shares a secret with him (that HER mother shared with HER) that makes everything better. :)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Milwaukee on

It is a huge adjustment. There are kids who have been in daycare almost their whole life and still cry the first few days. It is a new place/room, new people, and can be overwhelming. Keep encouraging your child, it will get better for your precious boy.

Maybe try to teach him how to approach a kid during play/recess time.. role play "Hi my name is _____. Would you like to play with me? What do you like to play? Can I play with you?" Let him know if the other child says no that it is ok and try to find someone else to play with... usually at least one kid will be open to play.

If you get to drop your child off in the classroom stick around for just a few minutes, if possible. Point out something that other kids are doing/playing with that your child likes and encourage him to go over and play with the other kids. After a minute or two give him a big hug and kiss, tell him you love him, let him know you will be back to pick him up at a certian time in a certian place and leave. Do not turn around, or wait around after you say bye, this will help your child transition and learn to trust the teacher who he is with.

Do you know if there is a clock in his classroom? If so teach your child how to tell time on that type of clock. Maybe even draw on a piece of paper the important times, like school starts, snack time/lunch time, pick up time that he can keep in his pocket. This gives him a better sense of control in a new enviroment, it might help ease his fears a little bit.

Also talk with the teacher and see if there are any other things that you can do to help him. Many teachers have great ideas on how to help lesson the fear of school. Ask her if he is hanging out with certian kids and then you can talk about what your son did with those kids during the day.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

Did he ever have any preschool or day care before or was this his first experience being away from you in classroom setting with other kids and another adult for an extended period of time?

Even if it wasn't, based on tons of other posts on here the past few weeks, it's a huge adjustment and you can't make a judgement call based on the first day. You can acknowledge that it can be scary at first, but he's going to be fine. It will get better and he will not hate school forever. He just needs to get used to it. Might take more than 1 day, might take a few weeks, but he will get there. Millions of children have gone to kindergarten and started school and have been FINE.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

We went through the same thing. The first few days he cried. Now he cries for one minute and is OK. and stays for the whole time.

It is hard for the momma. based on your all's advice and those of my friends, i realized that it is good for him to learn how to deal with such situations. And, that he is in a good place for him. that is, it is important for him to be with other children etc.....

Tomorrow will be better. every day a little better.

HTH. Good Luck. Jilly

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Redding on

My first day of kindergarten was miserable too.
I cried my head off because my mother wouldn't let me go by myself. Including the two block walk there. What did she think I was? A baby?
Kids adjust to kindergarten in different ways, but they do adjust.
I think the best thing you can do is keep the fact that your heart breaks for him to yourself.
Acknowledge his feelings. He doesn't know anyone, that's okay. He will make friends soon.
He will like getting to play with the other kids.
Just be positive and try not to let him pick up on your tension about it.
He really will be fine.

My son just turned 16 and is a junior in high school. He loved kindergarten, but every single year since then, he grumbles about school. Summer is over. Back to the drag.
It lasts a couple of weeks and then he's off and running and back in the swing and happy.
My son doesn't hate school at all, but he sure grumbles about it at the start of each new year. He could grow up to be a college professor and he'd still probably grumble about the start of a new year.

Don't give up. Each new year will have it adjustments.
Also, don't be surprised if he comes to love kindergarten and then a couple of months later decides he's over it.
I have friends who are teachers and it's fairly typical.

Best wishes.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

I bet it will get better :) How about getting him onto the under 6 soccer team, soccer is starting here on Saturday dont know about your area.. just another area he can get to know his classmates to make the transition easier... remind him you once went to kindergarten too. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

Awwwwww.....I know.

Ask him to tell you O. friends name at dinner that night.
He'll pay more attention in class whole they're all getting to know each other.

Tell him it's going to be more and more fun every day--that it gets better as he knows the routine better. Talk up his teacher. Tell him he's the teacher's favorite. :)

He'll be OK.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

Sorry to hear his first day was not good. Is it a full day day or half day kindergarten? I believe my niece in LA had full day kindergarten. However we are half a day kindergarten.
This is what I would do. Do you have a swing set in your back yard? I would invite all the boys over for a playdate on the swing set. Or ask him what kids he likes in class and invite them over. See if you can help out in class. Reading or whatever. See how you can help him gain confidence with kindergarten. Good luck.



answers from San Diego on

Hello, Your son loves being with you. That is a fact. He will adjust. I have four grown kids, six grandkids, did licensed daycare, then worked in an elementary school while doing daycare before and after school. I have seen kids cry when Mommy drops them off at my daycare, and at school. Three of my kids cried when I dropped them off. I volunteer at a kindergarten class (as well as other classes and programs) where one of my grandsons goes and two have been through. This week we had three different little boys who cried so hard. They all did very well after their parents left. One of the boys sat on the teacher's lap while she started the day and rocked him. It is so hard to see your child in pain. A little girl came into the room I was in yesterday, she came to use the restroom in the class I was in. She fell apart right there. I talked to her and reassured her that her mommy would be there to pick her up. I walked her back to her class and her teacher came out and calmed her more and took her back in the class. I am sure there are caring adults there to help your son adjust. Just keep telling him that you will be there when he is ready to come home. Give him a few kisses in his hand and let him collect them as the day goes by.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.


answers from Los Angeles on

So rough! I'd see about setting up a couple playdates with other kids. Probably one on one at first.


answers from Kansas City on

My first few weeks were pretty miserable at school too. I started with a broken tailbone LOL.

I'm sorry. Things will get better.



answers from Colorado Springs on

Can you homeschool him? I cannot fathom sending my precious, tender 5 year olds off to school away from me all day. It breaks my heart to even consider missing out on their learning to read, understanding math concepts, learning to write. It's a gift to be able to be the one to teach these things. Children do not need institutionalized learning. They thrive best with one-on-one instruction from someone who actually loves them. Follow your heart on it.



answers from Dallas on

I agree with reading The Kissing Hand. Also, can you see about volunteering at his lunch hour? I loved doing that and meeting the other kids in class and seeing my little one in the middle of the day. You can also try to meet another mom and do a little one-hour play date in the afternoon, so your boy wil l"know someone"...and so will you!



answers from Houston on

Sounds like a great opportunity to teach your child how to make new friends.

Of course he doesn't know anyone...its a new school!

I'm trying to understand this...does he expect to just walk into a room and all of a sudden the other kids will come flocking to him just by just standing there? Is he miserable b/c he doesn't have anyone to play with and/or the other kids aren't paying attention to him? Or is he miserable b/c he doesn't like the work, the teacher, etc.?


answers from Denver on

I cried everyday for the first week of school until oooh about 2nd grade. My son last year in kindergarten started the anxiety the second week of school where he would run after me as i would walk off after dropping him off crying but at school he had fun. It gets better momma!



answers from San Diego on

The best thing you can do for him is to talk to him about what he is feeling. Kids don't always know how to express their emotions in words, so you will need to help him identify what he is feeling and help him come up with ideas to handle his emotions. Help him draw on a past experience to help him feel confident about conquering this challenge. "It can be scary when you don't know anyone. I feel like that too when I don't know anyone. Remember when you started preschool and you didn't know anyone there either? That was scary, but then you played blocks with Jake and you guys became friends and you had fun at school? It was a little scary in the beginning, but you kept going and it was really fun after you got used to it" Don't make him feel bad or feel like he should want to go to school. Just echo his feelings and keep it positive. Don't let him see any negative emotions regarding kindergarten from you. You really have to pump it up. He needs to know you are there to support him and believe in him and if he senses you are worried about it, it will make it worse for him. Poker face (I cried for weeks before my son started kinder, but faked excitement about it when I would talk to him about it. If I showed any apprehension, he would get really scared, if I got excited about it, he would get excited about it). Give him lots of hugs and cuddles and let him know he is safe and you would NEVER let him go somewhere that wasn't good for him. Keep talking with him through the emotions and role play with him what to do in the circumstances he is afraid of. I think kindergarten is harder on parents than kids! Best of luck to you guys!

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