First Birthday Party - Worth It?

Updated on January 18, 2010
S.P. asks from Astoria, NY
21 answers

After much hang wringing, my husband and I are seriously considering having baby's first b'day be just the three of us. It would cost approximately $1500-2K to have an "adult" party that we would be comfortable with at a restaurant - especially since many people would be coming out of state and we'd want to have a nice affair. Is this very unusual? Just wondering if others have decided to get the kodak moment of baby and cake, but forgo the actual affair.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thanks to all that responded! So helpful, and I feel much better about my decision.

Suppose I left out some pertinent details. I LIVE IN A SMALL APARTMENT! Not possible to have more than a few (and by few, I mean actually three) other adults maximum as guests. Also, none of my friends have children, and there are just two younger cousins ... so it really would be an adult party.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'd skip it. That money would be better spent in a 529 for a college fund.

We did have first birthdays for both of our kids, and it was way too much. For our son, we used it as an excuse to have people over. Just a cook-out type thing. For our daughter we scaled it down to 3 couples and their kids. Even that was more than we really wanted.

Your child won't know the different.....you can get the Kodak moment and have an intimate affair without having to go through all the hassle - the memories will be just as fond.

Good luck with your decision.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.N.

answers from New York on

skip it. make it a fun day for you and your hubby and child. not worth it. the idea of putting the money in savings is great.
2nd birthday, different story.
happy birthday

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.G.

answers from Houston on

You would be crazy to have an adult party for a one year old.
What will you do when the baby is over stimulated by the crowd, the noise, the activity and all the excitement? Baby will have a meltdown and there you are, stuck in a restaurant.
Think of all the times you see kids start crying at b-day parties.....it's too much for a baby and they may end up over stimulated and breaking down.

I think a perfect baby's first birthday is immediate family only. And a good nap that day :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.P.

answers from New York on

Why are you limited to choosing either end of the spectrum? Is your house too small or are you overwhelmed by the work? Maybe your parents or your husband's parents want to throw a small party? I would not spend the kind of money you are looking at for an "adult party". Why not have a small party with the immediate family and skip the out of towners. It doesn't have to be a big deal but I think something more than just the three of you. For my son's first we had my husband's family over one day with some balloons, pizza, and cupcakes and then the next day we went to my parent's house and had about 15-20 people there. I know it was not cheap but I don't think they spent over 300-400 dollars. I spend less than 50 dollars to have my husband's family over the day before. I considered doing just the three of us too but honestly, I love looking at the pictures because our son looked so happy and was not overwhelmed at all since we worked it around his nap.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.J.

answers from New York on

My sons first birthday party was with me, my mother, and my sisters and nephews and nieces (his father was never around). I personally thought that if he is not gonna remember it, why spends loads of money on it. We took him to the park, we bought him gifts, took alot of pictures and ate cake. It was nice and non-expensive. Good Luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from New York on

Don't you have some local family or a few close friends to celebrate with? have them over for cake and ice cream and tell them to bring their cameras. if they are close family and friends they want to celebrate your LO birthday with you and make it all about the birthday kid. No reason you can't have fun on a tiny budget AND get the "Kodak" moment from several angles when friends bring their cameras! Forgo the big budget blowing party and go for the small close party.

Just a note: buy or make your birthday kid their own "mini" cake to play/eat. After seeing what my 2 oldest did to their cakes even I didn't want to eat it!!!! A.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from New York on

Hi S.,

There is absolutely NO need to spend so much on a first birthday party. Why don't you have it at your house? That is what we did for our daughter last year.

We made our own chocolate covered pretzels, in pink of course, went to the dollar store for decorations, and got a birthday cake from Shop Rite. Many stores give big discounts for first birthday cakes - you just need to take in your child's birth certificate.

To entertain the adults, I made up muliple choice questions about our daughter and posted them on the wall. It was cute to see everyone try to see who knew our daughter the best. The prizes were small bags of m&m's that we ordered from their website - they had pictures of my daughter on the m&m's along with happy birthday messages.

I also printed out 12 pictures of our daughter - one from each month of her life to that point. We posted the pictures on the mantle. The guests had to put the pictures in order from youngest to oldest. The winner got a personalized m&m bag.

It was a blast. There is no need to go overboard. Time the party so it does not coincide with a meal time, and you can get by with munchies and sodas/drinks. It only needs to be an hour and a half to two hours, unless you have a clown, or something else like that scheduled.

Then, the relatives from out of town can go out to dinner that night with you, your husband and your little one. Everyone can be responsible for their own expenses. Still nice, but saves you the headache and the money.

It's funny how the tradition of extravagant first birthdays still carries on. Just do what you think is best for you and your family.

If you decide to just have a small affair with the three of you, that could be wonderful too. Afterall, it is all about that picture with the cake! :)

Whatever you decide, HAVE FUN and do something that you can enjoy every minute with your little one.

Good luck,
L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Binghamton on

Our first and second birthdays have only been close family. I think it is a wonderful idea.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Buffalo on

your 1 year old will not remember the party...get the kodak moments, and post them on fb. save yourselves the time and $. no guilt, may you be blessed with many more birthday celebrations to come in which your child will want themes and chucky cheese:)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi S.,
WHy not consider some middle ground? Personally I wouldn't have spend a couple of thousand dollars on a first birthday, a fancy restaurant party is a party for the grownups, you could have that same party without the baby even being there.
I'm guessing your baby's birthday is coming up soon. When my kids each turned one, I had a backyard party - family and a few close friends, maybe 30-35 people. Both times, I had food catered from Ground Round, it was excellent. I know things cost more nowadays, and it was still several hundred dollars - food, drinks, decorations, papergoods, bakery cake, but not over the top. I would think about a party at home or a community center with catered food, grandparents, the baby's aunts/uncles/cousins and any friends with similar aged babies.
Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from New York on

Hi S.,
I don't mean to be rude, but personally I think having an adult party at a restaurant is insane and absolutly ridiculous. This is a child's birthday party.

Why can't you just have a few family members (who live nearby) and a few close friends over to your house, or maybe your parents or hubby's parents if your home is too small. You could make it as simple as just cake and coffe and a few other munchies - or you could serve a meal. Why only adults? Are they any other children in your family (any ages) or friends with kids?

Of course, there is nothing wrong with just the 3 of you celebrating together.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from New York on

Define 'Worth it?" Is it worth it for the child?...they wont remember it. Is it worth it for the parents?....that all depends on what is important to them. I had a party of about 20 people for my son at the house and we had a great time He turned 2 this December and we had another party for him and this time he really enjoyed it because he knew what was going on. The first birthday party is really for the parents. I know I personally would have been disappointed if I didnt have a party for him. Your child turns 1 once and you wont have the opportunity to do it over if you make the decision to not have the party...so it all matters on what is important to you. If you home is not big enough to have a party there and you are having it at a restaurant than you may want to consider either decreasing the guest list or finding a place that is inexpensive on a Sunday afternoon. I am in Smithtown, NY and we have many Chinese food buffet restaurants that offer all you can eat for as little as $20 per person and they have party rooms and the food is good...just a suggestion.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.T.

answers from Rochester on

No, it's not worth it! Your child is not going to remember it. Even with pictures! And will probably not enjoy all the people and fuss anyway. Save the big parties for when the child is old enough to remember them. And more importantly, will enjoy them. Have simple birthday parties at home with mom, dad and baby and maybe a couple close family members or friends till maybe around 5 years old. Very few people remember much from when they were younger then 4 or 5 anyway (except for what they have been told happened or see in pictures).

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from New York on

I think just the three of you sounds perfect. The only thing the baby will ever know about their first b-day party is the picture. So as long as you have a self-timer on your camera to take a photo of the 3 of you in party hats, I think you're all set. That $1500-2000 will go much further in a bank account for education! I have two kids- two first b-day parties- just immediate local family- no big deal. And it's been great. Now I'm planning my son's 4th- and he has his definite opinions on it- gotta be at a pool. So...save money while you can!!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.E.

answers from New York on

I have always kept my kids partys on the small side and I have never been sorry and they have never complained (my son is now 14 and my daughter is 11). I can't tell you how many times I hear other people complanining about doing the bigger partys. My one good friend did the whole big restaurant thing and she said she would never do it again. The baby was overwhelmed and cried the whole time. I say keep it small and this way you are stress-free and can enjoy the baby non-stop the whole time.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.F.

answers from New York on

I picture first birthday's being about memories you create for the child to see later. You take loads of pictures of the little darling with family and friends that are simply wishing your little one the best.

The cake eating/wearing picture is classic or in our house one of the children actually fell asleep in the high chair face in cake. That picture is classic. I love it. You don't have too and shouldn't spend much money. Things you will need a great tasting cake, some festive plates and forks or spoons a little something to wash the confection down and camera's with great batteries, working flash, and loads of memory or film everything else is basically optional. For the people local perhaps you may want to invite them over for cake and ice cream and stagger the times of arrival. Make a window of three hours or so. 1-4 or 12-3 or 2-5. Hope this helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.G.

answers from New York on

Do what you want.. I had a big first b-day for my daughter and now she is 2.5.. We had it at Singleton's on hempstead turnpike in bethpage.. It was really nice and reasonable.
But, If i could do it again. I would of just had a small dinner at a restaurant or at the house w.
I did have a b-day for my 2 year old and we had pizza's at house, dora theme and had close family and some neighbors
Drinks and cake from costco..
It was nice..
but, I also have an 8 month old and she will be turning 1 year in May and I am not sure what we are going to do..
I think I also will be at the house.
Good Luck
also look on LIparentsource.com for ideas .. cheap...
Barb G.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.D.

answers from Albany on

Out of curiosity, why does it have to be one or the other? Just the three of you or some huge get together in a restaurant?? I would NEVER pay that much money for a birthday party at any age! Just invite some local family and friends over to your house and order pizza...let the other kids run around and play. Get the Kodak moments. I have three children and another on the way and that is all we've ever done and people love our gatherings. Nothing fancy, no stress, doesn't cost an arm and a leg, but lots of fun and great memories.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Albany on

We have 3 children and had a very nice birthday party for 2 of them at our home and one at local park since she had a summer birthday party and we invited our friends and their young children. I made the most of food and had the rest of it partially catered. I spent way less than the $1500+ that you quoted by doing this. You can have a very nice affair without the huge cost.

Good luck deciding what to do.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.M.

answers from Elmira on

Hi S.,

Just my viewpoint but the baby will not remember it so it would be exclusively for yourselves and guests. I have two boys and didn't bother with all the hoopla for either. I feel birthdays are for them, not us. I of course made a cake, decorated, took all the pics, enjoyed my boys as they grew. When they got old enough to remember and enjoy I made more intricate cakes and decorations, invited a few close family. As they developed friendships in school, their friends were invited and then we'd all go somewhere for an event like bowling, paintball, etc. It's all about them, not us. Just my thoughts. Don't waste the money and enjoy the day with just the the three of you.
nanc

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.P.

answers from Orlando on

Why not have it at home for say, $150 tops? Serve something small (or just snacks), string up balloons and ribbon, and voila! One baby party. Don't give baby a whole cake to mash--give him a slice of cake and get ready with the camera and the hot, soapy water.
Even though this party is mostly for you, since the baby will not remember, you don't need to impress anyone. Believe me, you'll need that extra money for future b-day parties when every kid in the neighborhood and from school comes over and you're preparing goody bags, as well as buying the more expensive gifts once they know what's going on.
Our sons' first b-day parties were at home with close friends and family--the ones who love you and don't want you spending loads on them, particularly with a new baby, who will be growing like a weed in the next few years.
This should be fun, so mostly--ENJOY!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions