Financially Freaking Out!!

Updated on June 16, 2008
A.B. asks from Olathe, KS
11 answers

Long story short,I have many issues right now. Here's what I need help on.
1. MIL just informed me that she will not be able to watch my son while I work part time outside my home(8 hrs/week). (I also work from home about 8 hrs./week but I can do that while my son is sleeping) I really need to keep working at the office but HATE, HATE, HATE the idea of anyone but family watching my son. Any ideas of a person who would love my high needs (not physically- he's just a lot of work) 1 year old as much as I do, be willing to keep him 8 hrs./week, is able to devote much one on one attention to him, and work for really cheap? I would prefer to stay at home, but we really need the money. I have girl cousins locally that might be willing to watch him- if so, what should I pay them per hour?
2. We used to live in low income housing (Westerfield Townhomes in Olathe). We only moved out b/c we had other living arrangements set up-which fell through (long story) So we are needing to move back into low income/HUD housing. We've put up fliers 2 times at Westerfield, but nobody is moving out. Does anyone know how to find out if there is other low income housing around here? Or does anyone know of someone moving out of Westerfield Townhomes?
3. My husband will only get health insurance through the end of the year. He is looking to start school for firefighting in the fall. So eventually, he will have insurance again. But until then we need insurance! Does anyone have personal health insurance not through work? What kind and how much are premiums (it would be for me, my husband, and 1 year old)? I've also thought about working part time at Starbucks on nights and/or weekends because I heard great things about their benefits. What are your thoughts?
4. I am going to try real hard to be a SAHM as much as possible. We don't have cable, internet is paid for through my work, we don't spend a lot of money or live frugulously, and yet we are still tight for money. I know if I worked full time things would be different. But I would much rather make a ton of sacrifices and stay home with my son than work full time; however, I have to be practical. (Ok...the tears are REALLY flowing now!!) If anyone has any ideas of how I could make money and still be a mommy first- I would LOVE to hear them. But please no Mary Kay, Arobonne, etc. That works great for some people, but I don't want to sell a product I have to buy!
5. Last but not least if anyone has been through similar experiences...I'd love to hear how you got through them! I could really use some encouragement.

Thanks for reading this and sorry it was such a novel!

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T.O.

answers from Kansas City on

I have heard that Jefferson Place Apartments in Olathe and Quiviria Place Apartments in Lenexa are both low income. Also, I agree with everyone about Healthwave through the state, my nephew is on it and my sister in law said it has been so helpful. Also, Aldi's has super cheap groceries and most of the stuff actually tastes pretty good.

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N.R.

answers from Kansas City on

Re #2:

Look up Cottonwood Park in Shawnee. I know they have income restrictions, and it's a pretty nice complex...my son's father lives there.

Good luck!

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B.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Dear A.
My girls said their friend gets $30 dollars for watching
someones child for 8hrs a day. Could you go to the office
2 days a week and work instead of one day at the office.
also does the copany you work for have insurance agent that
you could talk too about getting insurance short term until
your husband can finish firefighting school. Keep checking
with the low income places because people will start moving around next month also check with realtors they might know
of someone who has something for rent. I live in Wellsville
if you need someone to watch your son I would be glad to
do it . My cellphone number is ###-###-####.
I hope I have helped you out. B. Kramer

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M.W.

answers from Kansas City on

13 years ago, I was in your shoes, only I lived in a more expensive city. I was determined to be a SAHM. I had no marketable skills, my husband and I were high school grads. He had tried to become an actor, which didn't work out the way he had planned. We were destitute. What I did was in home baby-sitting and also did clerical jobs for people, such as mailings, etc. I always made enough to put towards rent and groceries. We had our 2nd child when our first was 20 months old.
providing in home child care for one or two kids is what saved us. It provided an outlet for me, a social opportunity for the kids, and led to me eventually entering the health care field. Being a SAHM made me competitive because I was always home. So, try it out.

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

HI, A.. Finances are the most stressful thing, aren't they- or is it kids? Such a toss up. I think asking your cousins might be a good idea, depending on their age and how responsible they are. You might advertise your need for a sitter at JCCC. There might be some interested students that need some extra money during the week. You need to see what you can financially afford to pay someone before you decide what type of person can watch your 1 year old. Are your outside work hours flexible? Can you work them around evening hours when your husband is home? Getting a full time job is something that would help financially, if you can still afford day care. Once you get back on your feet, you could go back to part time. As a day care provider myself, and a mom of two, I chose to stay home and run a preschool out of my home, so I could do what I love and stay at home at the same time. I have been blessed that I can do this. Do you have the capacity or desire to watch an extra child during the hours you are not working? It could be an option if you enjoy working with children. Lots of moms need part time care for little ones, but have a difficult time finding it. If you have any questions about this, or are interested in this, let me know. It sounds like you are living frugally, and cutting back on things that are extras (cable, etc.) If you still are having a rough time, it might be time to think of working a few more hours. Have you looked into Mother's Day out programs? I think they are cheaper than day care and you might be able to work during the hours your son is there. Good Luck and God Bless.

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R.O.

answers from Kansas City on

You can try Overbrook Hills townhomes in Merriam or Overland Park Estates in Overland Park. They are both hud/income based. They are pretty nice townhomes. But they may have a waiting list, so just go get your name on the list right away. You can also check out this website www.workplacelikehome.com there are many work at home jobs available. I have 3 work at home jobs that have allowed me to stay home and raise my granddaughter. Hope this helps. Take care.

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L.J.

answers from Kansas City on

the important thing really is family and it is great to see you recognize that! I am sorry you are going through this tough time I know it is hard to do, but I would suggest to not worry and let GOD take over and have fun with your family. everything will work out for the best, you just have to believe it with all your heart!! look for the signs and follow your gut feelings. take care and know you are not alone.

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S.P.

answers from Kansas City on

Hello!! I can't say that I have many answers but wanted to share my business with you because it has been a blessing to me and my family. I know you mentioned no Mary Kay or Arbonne because you don't want to buy products you have to sell. Well, I am a Pampered Chef Consultant and we don't have to keep an inventory of products. Being a Consultant has given me endless satisfaction! I am able to avoid Daycare and stay home with my kids, bring in income, earn FREE vacations for my family that we wouldn't be able to afford otherwise, and be part of team that supports me and my business!! That's just a few things, my list is very long :-) I would love to talk with you more. Please contact me by e-mail [email protected]____.com my phone # is ###-###-####. Good luck!!

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K.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I know what it's like. We just got done with my husband being in Law School for 3 years and me being an (unplanned) stay at home mom. We were planning on starting kids after Law School. Anyway, I know how it is with no cable, no going to movies, new clothes and shopping on grocery ads. Have you gone to social services? You might be able to get your son at least health insurance (Healthwave). We were all able to get on health insurance and almost everything was a $2 copay. They also will steer you to other services that you qualify for (we were on wic, and that extra $20 worth of food that I got from them per month really did help). It was great. I felt weird about it, but I think that it is there for people who are getting through harder times and trying to make things better for their family. I am so glad that I took that route and stayed home with my daughters. Good luck, I'm sure you'll do well one way or another.
K.

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A.R.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Check out "The Grocery Game" website. It might work to help with grocery costs. Buy in bulk when things are on sale.

I am a postpartum doula and I used to sell Mary Kay. I have to say I love my job now. I am "selling" a service rather than a product. I am not even trying to convince you to become one yet because it is hard when you have a young one. I am just telling you, in general, if you can provide a needed service, people will come to you once they hear about what you are doing. I still have to market myself because most people haven't heard of a PPD. I help moms at their homes when they come home with a new baby. I really feel that God led me to this job so I would also recommend prayer right now that he would lay the ground work for you. That He would provide the things you need to stay home now since that sounded like what you wanted to do and/or a great job that you can enjoy and make money for your family while you are away. God bless.

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L.R.

answers from Kansas City on

How about Ridgeview Apartments? They are in Olathe off of 119th & Ridgeview. Also, when you are not working and are at home with your son, have you thought about watching a few kids during the week to get some extra $$? Every little bit helps.

As for finding someone to watch your son 8 hours per week, what about a Parents Day Out Program? I know it costs money, but if you need someone to watch him, then you may be forced to let someone other than family watch him.

Or have you thought about doing daycare full time? Just some options.

What about applying for state assistance for health insurance for your son? Healthwave? I know my cousin has her son on that and has been very helpful having it. She had no insurance on herself, but just recently found a job and was able to get her own health insurance.

Hope this helps you out. Hang in there. It will get better. Just think, all the sacrifices you are going through now, you will be very grateful for as you are able to be with your son.

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