Financial Assistance

Updated on November 18, 2005
S.G. asks from Carrollton, TX
10 answers

I'm wondering of where I can go or what I can do to get some financial assistance. My husband and I have gotten to the point where we can't even buy the simple things like food or gas for our car any more. Every week we have to pay bounced checks and every pay check goes to paying the bank back. Our family's wont help and it's to the point where it's hurting our marriage and we are on the verge of a divorce. I never thought I would ever have to ask any one out side of the people that know me but I am desprate at this point and need to be able to provide for my son and save my marriage.

What can I do next?

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B.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S. what county do you live in? I do social services and can provide you with some referrals. Are you in collin county?

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

S. -

Your first order of business is to throw the word divorce out of your vocabulary. You think it's expensive now???

I have been where you are. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise. Believe in that.

Now, you need to set up a meeting with your husband. Get a babysitter. A free one. If you do not have one, I will gladly volunteer. This meeting requires some prep work. I want you to get your bills for the last year. Paid or not, doesn't matter, get them all together. Then get a spreadsheet going. I want you to list out each and every bill with the amount and what category it is. You are going to go back in time and recreate your budget from the past year. Once you have all your expenses in - don't worry about grocieries, etc. let's just get your basics in there - then add them up by month so we can determine what goes out each month. Remember to include paid or not. And I also want you to include all late fees you have paid - bank fees, etc., as a category by itself.

In order to figure out where you're going, we have to figure out where you've been. You must do this. If you do not open your eyes, you won't see it, and you'll continue on this path.

Let's not even talk about income yet, and we're also not going to cast blame on your husband's spending, or any other such nonsense. You're in it together, you'll get out of it together, pointing fingers just prolongs the agony.

At this meeting, you will learn nothing more than determine what you've spent money on in the past year. Then you will divide up some work for your next meeting - where you will plan a future budget.

The homework for this meeting for one person will include a calendar that shows when each bill is due and when each paycheck is received. That is one person's job (I have a template of this I can send you if you want).

The homework for the other person will include trying to figure out where the rest of the money currently goes - what is spent on groceries, baby care, etc.

Then when you meet for this meeting, it will be way more productive. You will be looking at the calendar and looking at extra expenses and figuring out where the problem is with bounced checks. Is your electric bill due 5 days before payday and always getting you in trouble? Solution: call up electric company and change your due date.

Oh! There is so much advice I can give you - I can continue to write forever. If you're really serious about saving your marriage and creating a better financial sense of security, I will help you. Completely free of charge. Ask me any questions you want, I will share all my knowledge, from where to get the cheapest diapers, to generating extra money, to cutting current expenses, to making cheap meals, to getting a raise at work, etc.

S. - do not give up, and stop crying about your situation right now. Crying does not pay the bills. Neither does worrying. Get past these two obstacles and you'll instantly feel like you can do this. You will get through this. And you will do it the right way, and the good way, and someday you will be able to look back and wonder how you made it through. And you'll know how. Hard work and determination.

Please email me with questions, or concerns, gripes, fears, etc. I will meet you for lunch, for coffee, whatever - I will help you create your budget, etc.

You hang in there. One day at a time. And after you finish reading this, you need to call your husband and you need to tell him you love him, and everything will be alright. You've got a plan.

S.

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D.W.

answers from Dallas on

Call Scofield Memorial Church. ###-###-####. They MAY be able to help short term w/ finances. They have a wonderful associate Pastor- Neil Curran- who can help you get a long term plan together. Tell them You posted a request and D. W. refered you.
I KNOW hard hard this is. Hubby and I had to file bankrupcy after a long hard struggle with banks and bills and and and!
Please feel free to e-mail me!
D.
[email protected]____.com

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L.B.

answers from Dallas on

dear S. - are you a member of any church in the area? i know that church's are especially sensitive to these type of situations and usually most of the bigger ones have programs to help you out until you can get back on your feet. they will donate food, clothes and other services. i'm a member at Fellowship Church in Grapevine. you can go to that website: www.fellowhshipchurch.com and look for 'ministries' or call them is the best bet for assistance or direction. we are without ANY income right now, my husband has been out of work since july and i have since my daughter was born. we are praying for an opportunity soon as we are running very low on funds now too. so i do understand. please don't let Satan get the best of you and your marriage right now. Trust in the Lord to provide, make some phone calls to your church or one in the area for help. in the meantime, i'll be praying for you and your family too. take care. L.

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N.B.

answers from Dallas on

Do you need debt counseling/consolidation or are you in need of financial advice?

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

I'd start with the local WIC programs. Call ###-###-#### for clinic locations and appointment information.

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K.G.

answers from Boston on

so sorry to hear things are not going well, you may want to try the local food pantry, churches in the area, and the Salvation Army for the holidays for gifts and food, hopefully that helps a little

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.,
Hang in there. I would start at a local church or your home church if you have one---they can probably help with food and maybe a few bills for now. For a long term plan, I would suggest the following:
***Pay only cash right now---if you don't have cash don't write a check---try to use a credit card or something else so you can get out of paying those ridiculous fees to the bank.
***My sister uses CCCS to try to get on her feet and it has worked. She will be debt free in one year---she went through a divorce (not due to finances) and was struggling. I posted a link below so you can see if they can help ASAP...

http://www.credit-counselors.cc/?OVRAW=CCCS&OVKEY=ccc...

Have Faith and Pray----one day at a time is all you should work on right now.

K.

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D.L.

answers from Dallas on

S., You might try going to one of the churches for help. Most of them will help you out with food or money for a short period of time. You can also call Texas Dept. of Human Resources and they can assit you with food stamps, etc. You might also contact some of the local charities and ask if they can help or know of some that will. You might consider moving to a smaller place, keeping kids on the side. You might just ask the mamsource moms if someone needs any extra help on running errands, etc. Good Luck!

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C.

answers from Dallas on

S.,
Congratulations for being brave enough to ask for help! I would try the Assistance Center of Collin County. I guess that you live in Dallas County, since you are listed in Dallas, but the CCAC may be able to refer you to a similar organization for your area. They provide a number of services including help with bills. Please see their website, http://www.assistancecenter.org/. There are also some good tips and advise at http://www.daveramsey.com/ as well as encoraging stories. You can listen to Dave on the radio at FM 100.7 in the afternoon from 2-4pm. I hope this helps!
Blessings to you!
C.

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