Final Straw for Day Care?

Finding a good day care can be hard. I am not sure I would be so upset over the stuffed animal issue though, most schools I know of do not allow any toys brought from home, unless it is show and share day, because things can get lost or damaged and the care providers have to many things to think about to be concerned about what one child did with a toy he brought from home. I am surprised they let him bring it at all. Fact is, children are not going to get the kind of one on one care you know they deserve in a setting were there are 5 to 10 kids for every 1 adult. Rather than send him in long sleeves and expect them to change his cloths, maybe send him in short sleeves with a jacket or sweatshirt over top? You complain that they only want you to bring in certain types of food, yet the other schools do not allow you to bring in any food at all, so is this better? And when it comes to the toddler room, as mothers we often want to keep our children babies, he may have been closer to ready than you give him credit for. The TV thing is totally your right to control as the mother, but I can understand why the staff was a little frustrated with it. If they put on a show it is usually because they need to set up, clean, or prep something, or just get a short breather from caring for so many kids all day (we all get a break or 2 at work, but day care providers do not), but now they can not use that time because they have to take your child to another room and find a way to entertain him. Choosing the right daycare is a personal choice of course, but from what you say I can find very little wrong with the one you have except your view that your son should come above all the others they also have to care for. That special one on one care has to come from you, not his day care. You could try to find a small at home day care, with a provider that takes in no more than 5 kids, than your son will get more special attention, but you should be prepared for the additional cost as well.

Wow! What an awful situation to be in. You want the best for your child, but you're just not finding it! What about in home care? Someone who does daycare in their home? The benefits of this is that your child is not with 20 other kids. He/she is just with maybe 4 other children. You can also send packed lunches with him. It's more one-on-one. One other option, if possible, is for you to possibly stay home? Many women think they can't afford to stay home, but in most cases, they can. I have had to sacrifice my career, a bigger home, nice cars, being able to take more vacations, "work" clothes, going out to eat, etc. We are on a very tight budget. But, I am home with my kids. I feed them what I want to feed them. They sleep when they are tired and not by a clock. I teach them what I want to teach them, limit TV time as I see fit, etc.
I know that some people can't do this because of single parenthood, mom being the "bread winner" (whereas maybe dad can stay home), finances, etc. If this is really really bugging you about not finding perfect care, maybe it's worth reconsidering your own career goals. You can always go back to work, but you can never ever have this time back with your kids while they are little. Is it more important to have that bigger house or a well adjusted and healthy kid? I have no clue of your finances, but in most cases, people can make adjustments that allow mom or dad to stay home. Just a thought.

Daycares make dietary allowences for medical reasons. If you talk to the day care supervisor and provide a note from the doctor, they should allow for you to send luch in with your child. They have to allow for food allergies, so why wouldn't they allow for medical reasons?

I can say personally that I would not leave my child anywhere if I had concerns. You child is too young to tell you what goes on when you are not around, so you need to follow your mommy intuition!

I would change daycares. I really don't get the T.V. thing at all. Why would it be necessary for the daycare to turn on TV? My daughter's preschool doesn't have a TV in any of the classrooms. Quiet time is story time. The eating thing is frustrating. My daughter's school has started serving much healthier snacks , although, not all the time. If you look at the USDA's suggested meal plans for daycares it is full of the same junk they serve at schools. It's crazy! I can't imagine eating frito pie, tacos, burritos, hamburgers and pizza for each day of the week.

Good luck. I hope you find something!!!

That would really bother me.

I would switch him to a smaller, more involved daycare or see if you can put him with someone you trust and pay them to watch your son.

Best of luck

I agree that you might want to look at inhome child care. They will work with u:)

It would be my last straw as well.

I'd suggest you tour more daycares. I know it's a giant pain... but if you can squish in 1 per day or every other day for the next couple weeks I'm sure you'll find the right one. I know I went to over 50 (ugh) before I found *perfect*. There were 3 or 4 that were great and that I would have been willing (aka met my requirements of "safe, fun, interesting"), but the last one ended the search. The most amazing place EVER.

I too would move my child out of that daycare. I don't know your area & options though. We are spoiled by my daughter's daycare. It is on an Army post & is regulated by the Army's rules. They have a nutritionist that lays out their meals every week. I don't think they let them watch TV until the preschool room, and that's just on Fridays & must be educational (I send Signing Time for them to watch sometimes).

My sister sends my nephew to a very pricey place that I don't agree with. They sit the babies in front of the TV with Baby Einstein on! And a bunch of other stuff that I wouldn't be happy with, especially for what they are paying! (They pay more than double what we pay!)

So I guess my only suggestion would be to join the military or get a civilian job on a nearby post so you can get into their daycare! haha :P

But definitely seek out your options until you find something you are comfortable with!

I completely understand. I've had issues with my daughters daycare as well. Since you can't bring your own lunch would you be okay with him eating vegetarian meals? That way he would not have chicken nuggets, hot dogs, etc? I have a couple friends who are vegetarians and their daycare works with them and provides their kids with vegetarian meals. Or lie and anything you don't want him to have just say he's allergic and they'll have to provide an alternate. Kuddos to you for providing your son with such a healthy diet! I hope everything works out!

Just wanted to note that home daycares that are licensed would be following the same rules set up by the state to not allow outside food.

It sounds like your ready for a different daycare. I would suggest that you consider looking into a home daycare type place instead of a center. A home daycare is more likely to work with the special stuff your looking for. Food wise it is wonderful that your on top of everything he is eating but it may be hard as he gets older to track every bite. Most centers move children each year according to a specific date they have set. A lot of them are September 1st. So if they are say 2 by September first they get moved up. to next room. If he is in the baby room there is someone to feed him but if he is in the toddler room he will be feeding himself. hence the food that they can pick up rather than be fed. the layering of clothing is a separate issue. maybe put him in the short sleeved shirt but have the heavier one in the bag. in most preschool / daycare centers you have one lead teacher and one assistant to each 12 to 16 kids over the age of 2. more people in the baby room. A daycare home will have less kids. Good luck

Consider a home-based daycare. They're much more able to accommodate special requests and you can develop a more personal relationship with the provider. Ours also babysits our kids and is like one of the family. We love her! Like the centers, you need to check around, check licensing and references to help ensure a good fit. Ours used to be a preschool teacher and does do educational activities with the kids, taking them out for walks in the neighborhood to look at plants & flowers and doing circle time, singing and art.

Good luck! There are some really great daycare providers out there, so don't lose hope.

I think you should switch centers for your song. If your big problem is that they serve food why don't you send him in with what you want him to eat? The things you said your current center is doing is just wrong! I would change as fast as you can!!

I have worked in several day care centers in N. Wilmington and unfortunately a lot of them are like that. As soon as the parent leaves it's a whole other center. You need to find a place that they allow you to spend time at so you know what is going on. Most places want the parents out asap though.

I agree with the other posters. I would be switching him. I would consider a home daycare. More one on one attention and someone you can actually talk to that really knows your kid. I toured centers and home-based daycares for my kids, thinking I was going to go with a center, but after seeing the way they handle kids went with the home.

First, I think the daycare does not sound great. I worked in daycare for years, and I'm horrified by the daycare staff "stealing" your son's lovey as well as the moving of your son and the T-shirt thing.

I am also big on making sure my son learns the right way to eat. If you cannot find a daycare you like at all, you might consider an at-home sitter or a home-daycare. You can still find a state-certified home-daycare provider, although it is more difficult. Or you may have to drive a little further to find the daycare of your dreams. I think it's worth it to keep looking, because I don't like the sounds of your options right now.