Fight Getting into the Car Seat.

Updated on March 21, 2010
B.V. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
16 answers

Our 16 month old always puts up a huge fight when put into her car seat. getting the harness snapped is hard work. She does this in all circumstances. We have four seats in the family. it can be for Mom, Dad, or grandparents. When ever she needs to go in a car, it is a big fight. Once on the road things usually go fine. Any suggestions?
For the rest she is a fairly good and happy little kid.

B. v.O.

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K.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree its a phase, but totally frustrating! I feel very vulnerable in a public parking lot with small children, the doors wide open and all my attention focused on what's going on inside the car. I finally convinced my son that I need his "help" to look out for police cars and fire trucks and he would let me strap him in. Is there something that she always gets excited about when you drive? She can "help" you look for pet stores or flower shops or whatever she's into.

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E.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'd try making up a song about it and singing it while the two of you buckle up one of her stuffed animals. Try this a million times then put her in and give it a go with extreme patience. Good luck.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

I tried to be heavy-handed about the car seat fights, but it made both of us miserable. What worked for me was keeping a stamper and ink pad in the car -- and giving him a stamp on the hand when he cooperated.

At first, you may have to give her a stamp after a fight, just to introduce her to the concept. Get out the ink pad and tell her, "Look at you! You're buckled in your car seat! Yay -- you get a stamp!" You might have to do this a few times. After a couple of times, start telling her *immediately before* you walk out the door, "Remember -- if you get in your car seat right away, you'll get a stamp!" At that point, if she fights you -- no stamp. And you'll need to tell her calmly, "Oh well. Maybe next time you can get in the car seat and get your stamp. Let's try again next time." She will learn that cooperating means a stamp -- and she'll be happy to cooperate. She'll start to look forward to getting the stamp.

Positive reinforcement can be really effective! This will also work with getting the shoes on and putting the jacket on.

4 moms found this helpful
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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

I'msure it's just a phase, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with right now:) My kids used to do the 'plank.' They'd make themselves stiff as a board and I couldn't get their butts back in the seat. I used to make a joke about it, and try to put them in upside down or sideways. They'd usually start laughing so hard that I could get them in quick. You've probably tried this already, too: but try to get the leg part done first. Then you can ask her for a favor, to hold something for you, a favorite toy or stuffed animal, or snack. That way her hands are busy and you're more likely to get the harness part on. Good luck, and just think, before you know it you'll be saying "remember when..." !!

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

is the car seat too tight

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

it's prob a short phase, continue to stuff her in her seat, show little or no reaction/emotion, just say "you WILL ride in your carseat", buckle her in, and go on your way. she will figure out that she's going to ride in the seat, and she will stop the tantrums. hope it passes soon!

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A.N.

answers from Las Vegas on

I would check for something hurting her first, like someone suggested the straps being too tight, or maybe there is something sticking into her that is a little uncomfortable. My 10 month old son only does this when we get in and out of the car a lot, like if we stop at more than 2 places, it's hard to get him back in the seat that third time. For him, it's a tired thing (sleep, and just not wanting to get in and out again), if you can figure out what exactly is the issue, that might help solve it. Maybe explaining that you are going to get in the car, and where you are going, before you actually go and do it, might help. Also, is your child still rear facing? My son is and loves it. If your child isn't, you might want to try turning the seat around, it might help for a little while since it's a new vantage point, and the AAP recommends kids through age 2 rear facing anyway.

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Phase. Making funny faces helps.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

its a phase.
Both my kids did that too.
We still have to go places.
Oh well.
She just has to be in the seat.

try tying a helium balloon near her seat.
My son loved that.
Of course somewhere where the child won't get tangled up in it.

All the best,
Susan

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S.O.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I start the car up right when I get to the garage and turn on the CD player with some kids tunes. My son loves the Baby Einstein Playdate Music CD and as long as its on he is very good about getting into his seat. I do notice though if we have to go somewhere short notice, he usually acts up. So I try and save enough time to get anywhere, that way we don't have to rush causing even more frustration. He is 17 months BTW.
Good luck!
S.

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S.X.

answers from Chicago on

my daughter bucks her butt up and screams and when i just take hands off and she slides half off the seat she stops screaming and i put her back in.
If she's wiggling out of control, as long as she won't get hurt i let her figure out what happens if she's not in it. has worked so far LOL

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K.L.

answers from Madison on

Hopefully a phase. It was for us, but oh so difficult while going through it. Tried to make it fun as best we could.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Get her a little purse. Put some chapstick in it.
Tell her she can't have it until she gets strapped in her car seat.
My daughter had a ring of miscellaneous keys, chapstick, her purse, a mirror. She didn't get to have it unless we were going bye-bye and she didn't get it unless she was in her car seat.
My daughter walked at 7 months and by 16 months, it was all about being "big". She thought she was big enough NOT to be in a car seat just like everyone else.
I had her convinced the car wouldn't even start if she wasn't in her car seat. There were a few times me and my parents got out of the car and took her in the house and said, Never mind, we can't go, I guess it's time for a nap. And I took her to her room. At 16 months old, about 30 seconds of that is all it takes for them to know you mean it.
Strangely, my son never fought about the car seat. He loved getting to go too much to try that.
It's a phase she'll get over. You just have to get creative.

Best wishes!

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M.S.

answers from Visalia on

Have you tried making it a game? I usually try to turn it into a kind of adventure for my son and his cousin, which gets better results for me than struggling with them. I hope this helps you!!

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi B., What she is doing is throwing a tantrum, so you have to treat it like a tantrum. It's OK to reward good behavior, but don't bribe her to obey, you are the parent, to give her a purse and chap stick, what the heck is that sopossed to teach her? I have been a mom for 26 years, I've done a lot of rewarding but no bribing. I know the mom who suggested that is only trying to help, but bribing for obedience is not good parenting. Julia

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

hi- if she is able, try asking her to climb in herself, and help you get her arms in. it takes a little extra time, but at least it's not a wrestling match. and before you start out to the car ask her to pick out a book or small toy to take w/ her. good luck.

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