Feeling Guilty for Wanting to Stop Nursing

I nursed my daughter until she was 2 1/2 and am currently nursing my 8 month old son. Have you tried contacting a lactation consultant or your local LLL to speak with someone to help with the latch problem? Have you looked into nipple shields? There are a lot of things you can try to help get the baby back to breast before you give up.
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A true lactation consultant DOES HAVE TO BE LICENSED. They have to go through schooling and do many hours of on the job training as well. If you are being offered services by someone and aren't happy with then find someone else!

If you're over it, then stop nursing. You've given your baby a great start, and plenty of babies never even have breastmilk and do just fine. I nursed both of my girls for about 6 months. Pumping is a real pain to deal with - it is not emotionally the same for you as nursing (I pumped a lot because I had to return to work full-time early on). It's very difficult to continue nursing when you're doing so only through pumping - at least that was the case for me, so I understand where you're coming from.

Don't let this be an emotionally fraught decision for you. Your baby will be happiest when you are relaxed and happy. If nursing/pumping is stressing you out, then don't do it! He will be fine with formula. Plus, with so much stored milk in your freezer, you can continue using that for a while.

No worries, mama, you're doing great!

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about stopping! This is the first in a long line of decisions that others will try to make you feel crappy about regarding parenting, but you have to do what makes sense for YOUR life! It's great you have a big supply of milk, but if you're over it -you're over it! I'm a firm believer that we give our babies as much emotionally as anything, and they pick up on our feelings. I never had a good supply no matter how much I pumped. I nursed my first for 4 months and supplemented the whole time. I finally just got sick of it! With my 2nd I breast fed and supplemented for 4 weeks. I decided having a happy, unstressed and not-nearly-as tired mother was better for my kids and for me! The constant feedings almost drove me insane! Once we went to bottles of formula, I could get 4-6 hours of sleep, and it was wonderful instead of waking every 2 hours. I also have too much to do to sit around breastfeeding all day. I don't care who does or doesn't like that last statement -it's true for my life.

You won't do any harm to your child with formula. You've got a lot of breastmilk stored, so you can feed him that until it runs out. You're also going to have to gradually ease the pumping so you don't become horribly engorged (a sensation I've only heard about). DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! You're a new mom, and that has enough adjustments that go along with it!

Breastfeeding is hard. It took me 3 months with my daughter to get the latch right. It was so painful, and many a day hubby came home to me sitting in the living room crying while my daughter nursed.

But I sure am glad I held in there. Now, with child number 2, we had/have no issues. I am also so thankful for the convenience of being able to nurse.

Only you know what you need to do to make yourself happy. I knew I needed to make breastfeeding work, no matter what. I love the convenience of it. I also love the close contact, and I cried for a few weeks when my daughter weaned. You just never get that much cuddle-time with a toddler, they are too busy running around.

I had hard time with my first and gave up after 1 week. I have couple of friends who had to stick it out crying and in pain for close to 2 months before it became easy. We are 29 weeks preg with our 3rd and I am hoping to make it work this time...... I could not believe how much we spent on formula for the 1st year with each of our boys. Just the fact that it''s free makes me want to try harder:)

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I had trouble with nursing at first - since I was a SAHM I was able to devote a lot of my time to working at it...and there were days when I wanted to quit, but I am so glad that I didn't because the outcome (still nursing at 13 months) was worth all of my tears, frustration and overall stress.

The good news is that babies get better at nursing. The nurse on my maternity ward said that she pumped for 6 months before she was able to get her children to breastfeed. My sister-in-law had trouble with a poor latcher and was stressed out about it until the child grew out of it at around 5 months. Both these women went on to nurse for over a year.

My advice would be to stick with it, but to be forgiving of yourself if you decide that you can't.

Don't feel bad about wanting to stop , you said yourself you have a good supply in the freezer , continue to give him feeds from the supply and then when that has gone switch to formula , nothing to feel guilty about at all despite what some people might say.

My son had difficulty until he was fully four months old. It was a long and painful journey for me, and my emotions were frayed. I had to put him to EACH breast for 20 minutes, then supplement him with formula and then pump. And I did this every two hours and the whole thing would take an hour. I was exhausted. But, with support from lactation consultants I was able to get through it. Check with the hospital where your son was born, and see if they have a lactation department that can help. I nursed until my boy was 18 months, and I hardly remember the time that was so hard. For me, there was something so comforting about snuggling up to nurse with my boy.

A friend of mine suggested that I just take him to bed with me, and let him nurse at will. That didn't work because of his problems latching, but a couple of times he did manage to latch well. I've also heard that just going back to bed with your little one and feeling calm can help you ease into putting him back to the breast.

That said, do not feel guilty if you decide to give up on it. We are fortunate to live in a country where supplemental nutrition for infants is readily available. Guilt feelings rob us of joyous time, the most important thing to have at this time.

My best to you.

I will not give you the whole pro breastfeeding speech... you have heard it all.
I am strongly pro breastfeeding and enjoyed nursing my daughter the entire 19 months.

What I am going to tell you that this is all about how you will feel about yourself, with whatever decision you make.

I would have not been able to let go of the disappointment, had I not decided to stick through the difficult first weeks. I know this, because when I finally weaned my daughter at 19 months, against my better knowledge but under the gentle pressure of my DH and life circumstances, I deeply, deeply regretted that decision and do so still. I was very resentful towards those who put pressure on me, and though I have managed to let go of most of that disappointment, this will forever be a lesson for me, to not let other people tell me how I feel or should feel.

Nobody can tell you how you will feel about yourself if you do decide to quit and "take your body back". I know plenty of women who have no regrets about this. I also know plenty of women who do.
You baby will grow up fine on formula, that is not the point. You will will miss out on a bonding opportunity like no other - and yes, you will bond in other ways - but this is special. Hard to describe.
You know yourself best. Whatever decision you make will probably work out for you.
Good luck!

I quit after a couple of weeks of pumping and feeding and trying unsuccessfully to get her to eat at the breast. I was starting to develop ppd, and it was bad for everyone. If you want to switch to formula, you aren't a bad mom, you're doing what's best for you and your family. Our pediatrician told me that formula is almost as good as breastmilk these days and not to feel guilty for switching her.

And lactation consultants are NOT always helpful. They dont have to be licensed, just to have sucessfully breastfed once. Ours was worthless and said she wouldnt latch because she was tired! The nurses at the hospital were much more helpful and could always get her to latch. The LC was not helpful at all.

Don't feel bad. I nursed for about 9 months, then started to wean my son which took a few weeks. I was the one ready to stop- not my son. I wanted my body back.
You should feel proud that you were able to do it this long. Many M.'s would have given up after him not latching on. You have done a great benefit to him. If you want to stop, then stop. Its probably going to take a couple weeks anyway, cause formula does NOT taste like breastmilk.

I was tormented the whole time (6 months) I pumped/nursed with my first and much happier with it for my second. If you still want to do breast milk, try going straight to the source again. You may find that both of you are better at it.
I also got pretty good at pumping and bottle feeding simultaneously. I know, sounds crazy, but it took 10 minutes to do both, rather than a 30 minute nursing session.
When you want your body back - it's time. It should be something both of you want, and obviously he's okay with a bottle. You gave him 3 months of the immunities and formula is fine. When you do swtich, be sure to transition slowly, even mixing both together in a bottle, for both of your sakes.

It sounds like you have already made up your mind. Kudos to you for nursing and pumping for so long. I think switching to formula will be a new found freedom for you! The last thing you want to do is look back on this time and remember how exhausted, weary and frustrated you were. A happy mom is a happy family. Your baby won't even know the difference...start mixing breast milk and formula for each feeding until your freezer is empty. It will be easier on his tummy than going cold turkey. Again, be your own boss...you know what's right for you and your family.

First of all, it is your body and you need to do what feels best for you. Your child will pick up on frustration and resentment, and that's not going to help things at all.
That said, I had a very hard first week with my first son. I was lucky enough to have at hand the book that saved the day: The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins. The book showed me step by step how to get my son to latch on correctly, so that it wasn't painful, and so that he was getting milk. The hospital I delivered at also had a lactation specialist that I made an appointment with to have a live person to help me and my son get it down. Just a couple suggestions in case you haven't gone those routes.

I believe the recommendation to boost their immune system is to nurse for at least 3 months. If that is the case, then you have only a week to go to meet that goal. I nursed my first for the about 7 months. I only stopped because I was temporarily put on muscle relaxers and would have to pump and throw away my milk for so many hours after taking the muscle relaxer. Since I was going to be taking it for several weeks possible on a regular basis, it seemed easier to just quit. I, like you had a large amount stored in the freeze because I pumped some every day anyway so that I would have some on hand when it was not convenient to nurse, such as in the grocery store. I began mixing 1 ounce formula with 7 ounces breast milk and gradually increased the formula and lessened the breast milk until he was taking all formula. My second son, I was unable to keep up a milk supply that was pleasing to him and had to start supplementing with formula at 4 months to keep him happy. I nursed him with supplements till he was a year old. My daughter, I nursed till she was a year old with only an rare occasional bottle of formula or breast milk. I think you would be ok to give it up. Besides, if it is uncomfortable to you both and your tired of pumping, there is not sense in torturing yourself. Nursing is the best way, but formula has come a looooooooong way since we were babys and is almost as good as breast milk now days. Don't take it hard, you gave it your best.

i nursed the first to 9 months when he decided to stop, and the 2nd at 13 months and she did NOT want to stop.

I think they say the first 6 weeks is the most important and then i think they say 6 months. if you hate it, your baby will know.

so do what makes you happy : )

Here's the deal
The first few months are always the worst.
they hurt b/c your breasts aren't used to being sucked on all the time.
Stick it out it will get better.

See an LC they can tell you what's going wrong and how to correct it.
There are so many things you can do now from creams to breast shields. If you try all these things and it's not better by month 4 then you can say you gave it your best and it wasn't possible.
Now the constant pumping is likely over stimulating your breasts , which could effect your let down and flow rate. The more baby sucks on them your body gets used to what it needs to do.

I breastfed my son the first 2 months and pumped exclusively for 1 month before stopping completely.

Here is the story : My son had a hard time latching on as well from the get go so I had a lactation consultant help me when I was still at the hospital. Then when I got home I struggled for a while before he latched on okay. But I knew he still wasn't latching on correctly because my nipples would get really sore and would bleed from time to time. Until one time my son was burping up blood right after I breastfed him so I figured my nipples were bleeding and I looked and they were. So from that point on I had to stop for a while to let my nipples healed. From then on I started pumping but because I just had a manual pump my supply slowly dwindled away and eventually I lost my milk after a month. I think with an electric pump you can keep your supply going longer.

I know pumping can be tiring and not to mention you have to wash all the pumping parts after.

So don't feel bad about wanting to stop. Some breastmilk is better than nothing. My son had been on formula since 4 months old and he is 11 months old now and he is doing fine and very active. I am glad he didn't have a hard time transitioning from my breast milk to formula. I think the longer you wait, the harder it will be for him to transition to formula because they taste very different.

My apologies this is late... this is a more "don't what-if" advice...

DON'T sell yourself short -- try everything, so you CAN say "I tried it all.." and can feel happy (not "selfish") with whatever the outcome:)

You are doing great! It IS HARD to breastfeed... this is why not everyone does it or keeps up with it... "natural and easy" (hahahahaha!) but you CAN try other ways to make more loving/more bonding, with less time/less pain.

If you have tried creams (pumping made my nipples crack)...

If you tried shields...

If you saw a few Consultants (free at the hospital and East Cobb Pediatrics has a GREAT Newborn/Lactation Consultant ###-###-#### that might offer suggestions or referral Barbara Cossman is AWESOME)...

If you attended a few meetings (free at hospitals and through La Leche)...

If you tried co-sleeping (kept my milk up and my sleep good)...

And NONE of these things or others work for you and your boy, THEN you'll feel great for having done all in your Mama-power to do.

I nursed both children until 15 mos while working fulltime, pumping and supplimenting 25% formula. It was hard, and both children had different needs, but I am very proud for having tried and succeeded.

YOU CAN! We have faith in you!

This is really about you. Your baby will be fine either way. I only nursed for one week and pumped for a month. I had twins, and there was no way I could keep up with them. And even knowing that, I still feel guilt for having stopped. I sorta wish now that someone had pushed me to keep trying. BUT in the end, everyone is fine. In fact, switching to formula for one of my twins was probably the best thing because he was pretty much intolerant to dairy and soy.

Maybe work for another week/month on having him latch on so you can quit pumping. (Note: One of my twin mom friends pumped for a YEAR, so you can do it. Get a hands free bra. She used to pump in the car!) And if after that time it's not working, then quit knowing you did everything you could.

You are NOT a bad momma for wanting to stop. We all dream that breast feeding will be this wonderful amazing thing (and it can be) but for LOTS of women, it downright sucks in the beginning.

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

Long story short for me. You can read a lot in my questions history, but I started out by doing one feeding a day off of boobie and eventually got to where I am not fully feeding off of boob except at night because of baby sleeping to long and over production. Eventually she got it and now we are happily feeding all day on boob...she is three months old. I fed her miserably for a week after birth, then had to stop and pump and dump for a week and then fed with pumping only for 3 weeks to feeding her in the morning only for a week and then gradually getting her on more and more until now. One step at a time. and if during the time you start getting back on the boob make sure if you have pain on a side to pump and not breastfeed until it feels better and eventually the pain will go away.

Anyhow I hope you find what works for you best, and I must say I formula fed my first two and just got it with my third, so either way the baby will be happy and healthy!

I nursed my first for 11 1/2 months working full time, and nursed my second for 13+ months, also working full-time. I was very fortunate to have an excessive milk suppy and no trouble with my boys latching. I have known women who exclusively pumped and offered bottled breast milk. If your milk production is awesome, maybe you can pump a few times day rather than for every needed bottle-feeding. I only pumped twice a day at work, sometimes once if I was busy, but could often get at least 9-11 ounces in the first pumping session. I really can't imagine how much harder it is to provide breastmilk this way, but again I know women who have done it. Hang in there and just make the decision that is most comfortable for you and your baby. I think my son had to have formula once when I was at a weekend conference and I felt terrible about it, but he survived. You've given 11 weeks of breastmilk, so feel great about that no matter what decision you make. (And I was so happy to wean both of my boys when I did, even though my hormones went nuts for a week or so.)

I understand. I had my first 6 months ago, and I went through the same thing. I had great milk, and did the whole pumping all day thing and sometimes breast.

Do whatever is right for you, and do not feel guilty about it. What I can tell you from my experience, though, is that I felt the same way. I just wanted to go to the formula and be done with it. I made the decision to go back on my ADHD medication around 12 weeks, which would not allow me to continue breastfeeding. At first, I felt relief, but now sometimes I look at my little girl and I desperately wish that I could still breastfeed her. I don't know what it is, but more than once I've considered stopping my medication so that I could go back to feeding her the "good stuff". I miss it so badly, that I am still producing milk when I think about it. I don't leak through my clothes or anything, but whenever i think about wanting to, I have milk.

Now I'm regretting it, because it is also an experience you will only share with your little one once, and then it's over and you can never have that time back. Just make sure you think long and hard about it, and if there is any doubt, then don't stop. However, if you don't have to take any medications or anything that would disallow you from breastfeeding, just stop, and then start again if you want to.